Disclaimer: I don't own Lab Rats.

"Mom, I think the voice inside my head is back."

-Leo (Crush, Chop, and Burn)

Leo rocked back and forth on the floor of his bedroom, staring into space. He was losing it, he was aware of that fact. He was trying so very hard not to. He breathed heavily, a few choked sobs escaping his mouth, before setting his jaw. He couldn't give in. Not now. He was fine. He'd been fine. There was no way he was going back to how he was before.

They don't believe you, Voice whispered in his head. Leo hiccupped in his attempt to keep quiet. He shut his eyes tightly. It wasn't real. It had never been real. It was just his imagination. Remember what his mom had told him. Remember what his therapist had told him. And no wonder they don't. You're pathetic. But you already knew that.

Leo pressed his hands to his ears, desperately trying to silence the Voice, even while knowing it was no good. He continued to rock back and forth, although his actions were quickly becoming more erratic than soothing. But he couldn't go back. He was already a disappointment – no, no he wasn't! But maybe –

You think you're so smart. You think you've won. But you haven't. You never got better. You never got over it. You're still worthless little Leo.

"Stop it," Leo whispered harshly. He started crying – silently, of course, because he didn't want anyone to see how stupid and useless he was – wait, no, his mom said –

You think she cares? You think she's ever cared? She only cares about her new husband. She's replaced you. You're not important.

"Stop," Leo pleaded brokenly. He stopped rocking and pulled his legs up against his chest. He buried his head in his knees. It wasn't true, he tried to remind himself. It was all in his head. He just needed to tell his mom. His mom helped the last couple of times.

You're so pathetic that you can't even handle a little problem on your own. You have to go crying to mommy. Adam, Bree, and Chase can handle going on missions to save the planet but you can't handle your own stupid emotions.

Leo felt his resolve breaking. The Voice made sense – and that was what scared him. He knew how this went. He knew what happened next. He didn't want to go back to that. But he couldn't deny the familiar itch, the familiar knot in his stomach.

He stood up and looked at his bedroom door. He should tell his mom. But then she would worry and would never let him out of her sight. Or worse, what if she told Adam, Bree, and Chase? No way would they want to talk to him then.

They don't want to talk to you now. You're useless. They don't believe you about Marcus because they think you're stupid. How could you be right about something they don't know about first?

Leo's fingers curled over the tops of his ears. "S-stop," he begged. His heart pounded. He felt the familiar need and the familiar fear spike. He needed it. He didn't want it.

Leo grabbed the sharpie he kept in his pocket at all times. With shaking fingers, he drew a messy flower on his wrist. It didn't help. Leo sobbed. It was supposed to help. Why didn't it help! Why didn't it work! Leo tried drawing another flower on his forearm. Still no relief. Leo threw the sharpie at the far wall.

"It's not working," he sobbed to himself, banging his head against the wall nearest to him. "It's not working."

You know what you need, the Voice taunted and soothed at the same time. Leo hated it. Leo loved it. Leo just wanted it gone. You know how to get rid of me.

Leo went over to his closet. On the highest shelf, in a dusty corner, in a box, in an old CD case with the words "You Can Do This" written on a sticky note on it, were razor blades and paperclips. As soon as he saw them, all resistance and hesitation and thinking about his mother disappeared. He grabbed one of the razor blades, pulled up his shirt, and brought the sharp edge to his stomach.

Leo wept as he cut line after line, not too deep, but it was enough. He was angry that he had done this. He was relieved that the Voice had gone. He was sad because he was back to where he'd begun. He was scared because he knew that he would do this again, and again, and again.

8 years ago

Leo: age 6

Leo hid under the kitchen table. His mommy had told him to go hide. The table had been the first place he'd thought of. He couldn't hear what his parents were saying, but he knew how nearly all of their conversations ended. He flinched, eyes wide, when he heard something glass break. Even after several years of this, he was still scared. But because it was nothing new, he knew how to keep quiet and hide.

He heard his daddy's raised voice, shouting bad words at his mommy. His mommy's voice was quiet, calm, soothing, but it didn't calm down his daddy. Leo stiffened when he heard a loud thump and his mommy yelp. He wanted to go help his mommy, but then he'd get hit, too. And his mommy had told him to stay away until daddy was asleep.

Leo heard the slaps from his daddy and the crying from his mommy. And then he heard his daddy's footsteps coming towards the kitchen. Leo didn't know what to do. He wanted to run up to his room and hide under his bed, but he was too scared to move. Maybe his daddy wouldn't see him.

But his daddy saw him, alright. His daddy shouted at him, calling him bad names that mommy promised him weren't true. His daddy pulled him out from under the table and pushed him onto the floor. Leo started crying, which only made daddy madder. Where was mommy?

Daddy got bored really fast. He tripped when he went to the living room. He fell asleep on the floor. Leo stayed still, scared that his daddy was pretending and he'd only get into more trouble. He didn't even know what he'd done this time, besides existing. Whatever that meant.

Leo went over to his mommy. She had owchies all over her and she was crying. When she saw him, she brought him into a gentle hug, saying sorry over and over, but Leo didn't know why she was saying sorry. Maybe she had done something bad that made daddy mad at them.

Mommy went into the bathroom. When she came out, the owchies were gone. It was like magic. But Leo knew that mommy was still sad. He found the last dinosaur bandaid and gave it to his mommy, telling her he loved her. He asked her why daddy was mad. She said the same thing she always did: his daddy was sick and didn't know what he was doing. As always, Leo believed her.

His mommy made him hot chocolate and gave him medicine to make his owchies stop hurting. He asked her why her owchies disappeared but his were still there. She didn't answer, only telling him that they had to go buy more sweaters and long-sleeve shirts for him. Leo didn't mind. As long as his mommy didn't hurt him, too, he didn't care.