Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN HUNTER X HUNTER! IT ALL BELONGS TO YOSHIHIRO TOGASHI!
Summary: Kurapika, while waiting for Leorio to return from a school meeting, finds that pizza leads to quite the imaginative dreams.
Warnings: Author was on anime crack while writing this. You have been warned. Kuhfufufu~
Comments: This takes place somewhere between the carnival and their little vacation up in the mountains with Sakuno. So Kurapika has already met Yuei and has somewhat bonded with his strange friends, but has not yet submitted to his ramen cravings since he doesn't even know of Sakuno's existence! Those were the days…
Missing Reality
1:
Looking back on the incident, I would say it happened because Leorio liked pizza. But then, when I really thought about it, it happened because I liked Leorio.
It was Friday night, I'd been obsessing over a Science project for hours and only then did I finally settle down on the couch. Leorio wasn't home yet, he wouldn't be for another hour or so. Something about a faculty meeting?
A mug of hot chocolate in one hand, I pressed the button on the remote to turn on the TV. I snuggled into the blanket, warming my cold hands on the mug.
There was nothing to do, really. Whale Island didn't provide many things to do. And it seemed the small amount of activities always decided to happen on the opposite side of the island from where I was situated.
Taking a content sip of hot chocolate, I settled for an hour of brain-melting TV programs. At the moment there were Friday night cartoons bopping each other on the head with a club. I tilted my head to the side.
Why did the mouse have such big gloves?
I raised the remote and changed the channel.
"Spring flowers are blooming, birds are returning, fruits are growing and now it's time for the Fox-Bear mating season-"
Blushing slightly, I changed the channel. Again. And again.
And again.
Did Leorio not have any normal television programs?
Giving up, I typed in a random number and an innocent-enough looking movie popped up. It was in English, but subtitles appeared across the bottom of the screen. There were even different colors for different people.
I settled back into the couch, watching the woman and her young son drive down a long road. Taking another chocolaty sip, my eyes drooped slightly. Yawning, I looked at the clock.
Still another fifty minutes to go…
It wasn't long before I discovered the movie wasn't as innocent as I had thought it was.
Because innocent movies didn't involve a teenage boy dreaming about his fingernails being pried off. Nor were snake demons vomited up by the average, innocent little girl.
Annoyed that there was nothing decent on, I switched off the television and closed my eyes with a yawn. I set the half-empty cup on the small table, switched off the lights, and grabbed a pillow from the other couch.
Tucking it under my head, I stared into the dark as I continued to wait for Leorio.
What was taking him so long?
Another glance at the clock showed that I still had over a half-an-hour to go. With a sigh, I pulled the blanket tighter around my shoulders. What to do? What to do?
Growing bored, I got up and ventured into the kitchen. The floor was cold under my bare feet, the sudden change of lighting harsh on my adjusting eyes. I sighed and inspected the limited fridge.
"If you like pizza so much, Leorio, you should marry it…" I muttered, because it was too quiet. Even the sound of my own voice was better than the silence.
Grabbing a slice of cold pizza, I returned to the couch. I really shouldn't be eating pizza so late. It couldn't be healthy. Didn't they always say that eating late would make your stomach hurt? Or did it give you troubled sleep…
Quickly gobbling down the last few morsels, I pulled the blanket back over me.
Soon enough, I dozed off.
Clowns.
Oh, god, clowns were scary.
Big tents shot up around me, cotton candy carts wheeled by. Vendors and costumers ran around. I gulped, seeing them. Yes, them.
The clowns.
Now, I wasn't sure what had brought along my sudden fear. All I knew was that there was a clown approaching. And that I had to run. Because clowns were scary. They just were.
I was back at the carnival, and a quick check proved that I was wearing the same clothes and even had the bracelet wrapped tightly around my wrist.
So this was after I got stuck in the phone booth with Leorio?
Looking around, I scanned the crowd, trying to see a familiar face. But there was no Leorio. No Yuei either. And, thank goodness, no Hisoka.
Clowns were scary. But Hisoka….Hisoka was just Hisoka. He was a whole different level of terrifying all on his own.
Speaking of which, a clown now appeared before me. He brandished a bunch of bananas like a sword, poking at my side. I yelped, surprised at the fruit's sharpness. The clown laughed silently, patting the bananas twice before they turned into a bouquet of flowers.
The clown knelt down on one knee, holding a hand over his chest, and offered me the bouquet. Forcing a smile to my face, I uneasily accepted the flowers.
As soon as they left his hands, they exploded in a cloud of confetti into snakes.
Big, scary snakes.
Really, really, really big, scary snakes.
I jumped back away from him as he faded away in silent evil laughter. Wide-eyed, I nearly jumped five feet in the air when I bumped into something. Or someone.
Leorio wrapped his arms around me, pressing my back against his chest. I looked up, tilting my head way back to see him smiling down at me.
"Hanashi-sensei! Where have you been?" I scolded, pouting slightly. He remained silent, and I realized that he had no shirt on.
What the heck?
Then I realized that aside from myself, no one was wearing a shirt.
Because there were a bunch of male clowns everywhere.
"L-Leorio-san?" I squeaked, finding that he was running his hands up and down my sides. What was going on? It wasn't warm. In fact, it was quite chilly! It was absurd to strip off their shirts! They must be getting paid for this or something…
What a strange dream, really!
…
Dream?
I groaned, smacking my forehead. Yes, this was a dream. That would explain everything. Wait, did that mean this was all my thinking? I had made this all up? The world would truly be strange if I had a say in how it went round…
Gon appeared out of nowhere, Killua at his side, on a magical stage. Holding a microphone between them, they sang, "Birth of a song, death of a dream. Closer to the edge! It's a never ending story…"
Oh, great. Now, in my imaginary world, people randomly broke into random songs of randomness. And the word 'random' and any random variation of the word random was used randomly and frequently.
I was insane. I had to be.
It would be a comfort, honestly.
Then I was dancing with Leorio in a rain of confetti, because everyone was celebrating. What were they celebrating? On further inspection of an oh-so-conveniently placed sign, I learned why.
Because Gon and Killua actually managed to sing without stripping off their shirts.
Ugh…
Not that I wasn't glad at least someone had decided to be decent. But really? We were dancing because of this? What insane mind made this happen?
Oh wait…it was me.
"You're not having fun." Leorio complained, hand sliding further down my back. I had to constantly reach back to push his hand back up, digging my nails into his other hand. Seriously.
"I just don't see the point to all this." I admitted, placing my hand back on his shoulder. Only to reach back as his hand again slid to my waist line.
This was getting tiresome…
"But I like you." He defended. That wasn't irrelevant to the conversation at all.
Right.
…
Wait a second! Backtrack, backtrack! Did he just say what I think he just said? Because if he did just say what I think he just said then there was certainly something very wrong in his head. But if there was something wrong in his head then that meant it was even more wrong in my own head since I had somehow come up with all of this.
Why did everything have to be so complicated?
Then I discovered Leorio had gone off to a corner to sulk. How he had found a corner to sulk in was beyond me. But suddenly it was Hisoka I was dancing with. And I was beginning to wonder why I had to dance like a girl in these partnerships.
"Hisoka, what are you doing?" I questioned, finding that he also had a similar problem of keeping his hand up.
With a creepy, evil giggle the clown suddenly spun me in one of those really quick circles and tipped me back so that the tips of my hair were almost touching the ground.
I stared, wide-eyed, as he smirked in his evil, perverted, suggestive way and licked his lips in that same, evil, perverted and suggestive way.
He decided to magically strip off his shirt without letting me fall to the ground. And as the thought passed my mind, he also decided to let me fall to the ground.
I rubbed my sore head, glaring at him. "What was that for?"
Roughly, Hisoka grabbed my chin and brought his face dangerously close to mine. "Little Kuruta, you've been a bad boy~ While you're running around with the doctor, the Spiders are crawling around~" He scolded, giggling. "You should be punished~"
He leaned further in, and his lips were that, that (holds fingers very, very close together), close to mine before I began to kick and scream.
"NO! NONONO! NONO! NOOO!"
"What the fu-!"
I bolted to a sitting position, holding my arms up in a horrible defensive block. Leorio, stumbling away from my sudden outcry, sputtered incoherently.
"Leorio?" I gasped, seeing the growing lump on his head. "What happened to you?"
"You!" He pointed accusingly. "You just shot up and punched me! I was just checking to see if you were asleep!" Holding a hand over his chest, as if to hold onto his rapidly beating heart, the teacher pouted childishly.
"Don't blame me." I defended. "It's your fault for making everyone strip off their shirts!"
"…What are you on?"
-FIN-
Yuuki: ohoho~ Even though it says 'fin' there's actually more~ But it happens in a different part of Surreal Reality so…Anyways, these chapters are just a bunch of random chapies that I removed from the original story because I just didn't think they were all that important! I don't remember them all because I oh so stupidly deleted them after removing them… *sigh*
Killua: T_T
Leorio: *total strip tease face* I'm~ too sexy for my shirt~ too sexy for my shirt~ so sexy it hurts~
Hisoka: *randomly joins in*and I'm~ too sexy for my land~ too sexy for my land~ New York and Japan~
Gon: … :D
Killua: you don't get it do you
Gon: nope! :D
Kuroro: *appears on a magical unicorn* I'm a model~ you know what I mean~ and I do my little turn on the catwalk~ yeah on the catwalk~ on the catwalk yeah~
Kurapika: review please! Flames will be used to heat the fire for cookies for reviewers!
Yuuki: *points to dying oven* I'm surprised I haven't gotten any for SR…the oven! It's DYING! (well, unless you count the one that was all 'this is so good! Wait, it's Leopika? Ew throw up bleh that's disgusting' so…yeah…as if it weren't obvious…)