I have seriously been reading to many Clexa pick-up lines. Far too many. I need to stop.

-X-X-X-X-

"Hello..."

"Lexa, no," Clarke spoke, spinning to face Lexa. "Don't do it."

Lexa's smile was bright. She was ready for this. This one had to work. The source was good. "Cupid called..."

"Lexa..."

Lexa ignored her, pressing on "...He says to tell you tha-"

"Stop. Please."

"-that he needs my heart back."

Clarke face palmed, not for the first time since this anonymous donor had begun donating Lexa these ridiculous pick-up lines. She swore to herself she'd find the person who was supplying the Grounders Commander with them and kill them. Slowly...maybe because Lexa was kind of adorable when she tried and the hopeful smile on the girls face was worth any pain of hearing idiotic sayings that people used nearly a hundred years ago. She wasn't even sure how they had ever actually worked a hundred years ago. People were stupid back then well they did sought of blow up the planet too Clarke nodded to the thought.

"Who's Cupid?" Lexa inquired, a frown of confusion on her face. She should have inquired about that before she left.

Nope, I'll kill them.

Clarke shook her head, pulled her hand from her face and looked up into the confused eyes of Lexa. "Who is telling you to say these things to me?"

"Hmm?" Lexa questioned, a hand coming to rest on her chin as she racked her brain for any mention in her life of a person named Cupid. The questioning blue eyes of the Sky princess helped to pull her back to reality a little. "Oh, your mother." She answered, a split second pause and she inquired again, "Who is Cupid?"

Clarke's eyes went wide and she barely muttered out, "My mother?"

Lexa removed her hand from her chin, glancing down at the blonde with shock and confusion plastered clearly across her face. "Your mother is Cupid?"

Lexa's words snapped Clarke out of her daze and she shook her head. "No." She told her.

Lexa frowned, "So your mother isn't Cupid?"

"No."

The Commander's frown got bigger, this didn't help her in the slightest. "Then who is Cupid?"

Clarke sighed and racked her brain for a way to explain, "He wields this bow and arrow and shoots people with it."

Lexa brow furrowed, "So he is a warrior?"

"Sought of."

Lexa shook her head and stood straighter, disgust crossing her features, "That is ridiculous. Shooting people is not romantic in the slightest. Death is nothing to romanticize about."

Clarke sighed again. "No he doesn't shoot to kill." Upon Lexa's inquisitive look she tried again, "He's a baby wearing a diaper and he shoots arrows at people, making them fall in love with one another."

"What's a diaper?"

Clarke opened her mouth to reply but it snapped shut just as fast as it had opened. She had no idea how she was supposed to answer that question. "Um...it's the uh...the stuff babies wear when they are born. So that they don't...you know...go...in their clothes."

Lexa squinted, considering Clarke's words carefully. A few moments later and realization came over Lexa, "Uh...daipr. It is our word for it."

"Right, yeah." Clarke nodded happily before her forehead creased and she added as an afterthought, "I think. I honestly have no idea if we are talking about the same thing here."

Lexa shook her head and scoffed lightly, "And your people call us harsh and savages."

"Huh?"

"We do not make our babies go to war," she considers the blondes words, "or shoot people just so that they can fall in love. Love is sacred, it cannot be forced to reciprocated and if it isn't reciprocated than that is what it is." Lexa pauses and glances down at Clarke, "Love is a bond that can only occur through the act-"

Clarke had stopped listening, a small smile on her face as Lexa continued prattling on about love and it's customs amongst Grounders. It had to be the most honest thing she had heard come from Lexa's mouth and that was saying something considering the past few weeks.

Clarke's brow crinkled once she realized that Lexa was thinking that they sent their babies out to shoot people to force love.

"...love can be wea-"

"Wait!" Clarke called over Lexa's rant, "Cupid isn't real."

Lexa's brow furrows again, at this rate her face was bound to get stuck like that. "But you just sai-"

"He's a myth, a supposed person to signify love."

"Clarke!"

Clarke throws a look over her shoulder as she sees Kane on the other side of the camp waving her over to where one of the guards is limping. Turning back to Lexa, she offers the woman an apologetic smile.

"Duty calls."

Lexa shakes her head and watches as Clarke pivots on her heel and walks away from her in the direction of the wounded guard. "Sky people." She mutters at the absurdity of these people she has allied herself with. They are so confusing.

Lexa sighs, upon realization that she still hadn't managed to garner the blonde's affections. She needed help, serious help and there was only one person left who she could think of who could help her.

I hope you enjoyed or at least got a small laugh out of it.