Title: Chaos
Author: Wicked R
Disclaimers: most characters belong to Mutant Enemy. No copyright breach is intended.
Remember, it's just for fun.
Genre: Angst
Rating: NC for sexual content
Set: after season 6 finale, BtVS.
Summary: Xander talks to Buffy about her sexual life.
Pairing: B/other, sorta.
Warning: not beta read. English is not my first language, so be kind.

"A Slayer!" said the black curly hair guy with obvious enthusiasm.

"There's a lot you could find out about me…if you fancy," Buffy had a hungry look in her eyes that he liked, even though he knew somewhere in his mind that he wasn't meant to, and the tingling vibrations at some parts of his body were becoming harder to take no notice of.

The well-built man, who could be considered good-looking, tall and muscled, slid a knee between her legs. Buffy pushed the coat off his shoulders and ran her hands over his ribs, downwards the stretched muscles of his back, and slid them under his close-fitting underwear. He carried her and elevated her up onto a stone grave. Taking her underwear skilfully in his teeth, he removed them bit by bit touching her moving, eager hips. She threw her head back and closed her eyes, sensing his tongue savouring her moisture, darting in and out of her, teasing her. She marvelled at the experience of his muscles sliding under her hands, feeling his rigidity. He kissed her breasts and slowly brought his lips up to hers, catching hers in his teeth.

"Buffy?!?" Xander stood in front of them. The man was frustrated because of being stopped, and growled at him. The growl turned into a roar in the same time as his features took on the game face. The human raised his stake and the vampire lashed out towards the intruder, catching him in the face, and throwing him backwards. Buffy was already standing too, busy with putting her cloths on.

Xander struggled to stand up and take a fighting stance, "Buffy? You don't want me to fight this parasite, do you?" he said as the vampire closed in on him, "you know, soon, you gotta choose, me or him? Or are you just going to walk away and let us decide? Ok, ok, I don't automatically agree with all I say…uh."

Buffy didn't answer, but in one swift move, he stabbed the vampire in the back, reaching exactly as deep as she was meant to in order to dust him. She picked up her jacket and started walking away from a baffled Xander. In reality, she was too embarrassed to show her face to her friend.

"Oh, no, Buffy, you are not gonna just walk away with this! Angel, fine, I can understand, Spike, well, I understand less, but I understand somewhere. We left you alone with your troubles, we didn't see them. But this? I…we thought you were better now? Why this?" he chased her out the cemetery, "why do you need this? Who was this? Does it matter to you at all? Don't you see it's dangerous?"

Buffy shouted back, while still walking away speedily, "I was in complete control! I staked him, did you no see? He was pretty much a beginner. I knew what I was doing!"

"Did you? And did you also know why you were doing it? Was it because you have to prove your strength? But who for? The vampires? Yourself? Both? It's really not like you, Buffy. Or I didn't think it was. But maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it is exactly like you. Maybe I don't know you at all. How do you think Giles will react to this? Oh, you don't care about that at all, do you?" Xander was shouting, just trying to say anything that would make her talk to him, "Faith! Faith would maybe do this. Two crazy slayers to protect us now. Now, we are in trouble. Just because you wanna have some danger fun adventure! What are we gonna do if we loose you? Have Faith?"

"Don't you compare me to Faith!" she finally stopped.

"Why? What makes you better than her?"

"I fulfil my duties!"

"It's odd the way most people love the dead. Once you are dead, you are made for life. What is it with you two and vampires? How many did you sleep with?"

"And don't you compare Angel to other vampires!" she was half crying, half shouting.

Xander, feeling, seeing her distress, closed in on her, touching her shoulders. Somehow, all her friends went haywire? No wonder, with all the stress and fighting. He maybe needed to talk to her the way he did to Willow, "don't you remember, us? You can talk to me, you know. I don't know what you're going through. I haven't been back from…heaven. I can't imagine. But you gotta talk, so we can help. Really help."

"You wouldn't understand."

"You think I wouldn't? I'm just an ordinary guy. I stayed beside you no matter what. Don't you think I proved myself?"

"Yes. But it doesn't matter. This is one thing that you wouldn't."

"Does love not conquer everything? I got a pretty big clue from Willow just the other day."

"Love?" she laughed ironically, "if it was that easy."

"Enough with the hiding, Buffy. It's obvious that you need someone to talk to. Why not the people who proved to be helping you before? The ones you care for? When you look preoccupied and distracted? Every now and then I speculate what feelings you are hiding inside? And while you give me one of your innocent green-eyed looks? Look, I was engulfed in my own feelings for a while. Anya, all that. And I wasn't so attentive as to what happened with the others. With Willow as well…until it was almost too late. Let's not let that happen with you. I'm here. Now."

"It's…Angel…you all know the history of me and Angel. Would you understand, if I said that I can't live without him? I tried, God knows, I tried. But he is my strength. My power to do what I need to do. My reward for the hardness in what I'm doing. I guess I was drawn to Spike because I felt he was so close to him in the past…and the others…feeling their cold bodies, even just for seconds, it gives me the impression it is him…he is everything to me, Xander…"

Xander now knew that he was going to do something he never thought he will do. Go and ask a favour from Angel. No, actually, more than that. He was going to beg him to come back to Buffy.

The End.