An:This takes place after the episode "Mindful Education". Please leave reviews about your thoughts and ideas of the story so far.
Steven had a lot to think about. So many things have happened in this year including, Jasper and her corruption, Bismuth, The Rubies, Fusion, Connie and his mother shattering a Diamond. He went through a lot and he was going through it alone. He feared so many things and he was brave enough to do what he had to, but Rose. Rose is what he feared the most, his own mother. He was discovering the dark side of Rose, everyone made her out to be this perfect gem. He was afraid of becoming her. She shattered a Diamond, bubbled away Bismuth, and she had lied. He knew her lies were only to protect her loved ones but he couldn't feel more hurt. His own mother shattering a Diamond. The gems said she had to do what she had to do to protect Earth, but maybe there was another way. Everything that he had gone through so far was because of her. Yet he felt like it was all his fault. He couldn't talk to the gems about it because they wouldn't understand and be angry and upset at him for thinking of Rose in this way. Connie also wasn't an option even though she saw everything when they were Stevonnie, she would tell him to talk to the gems. His dad would also get upset if he knew how Steven felt about Rose. He was on his own.
Fusion to Steven was difficult ever since Stevonnie. He had fused with Amethyst but they both were insecure and it cancelled out each others issues and problems. He always acted to try and fuse with Garnet and Pearl because when you fuse you see into each others mind. The last thing he wanted was for them to see everything he was thinking. He felt horrible for lying to them and putting off fusion with them. It made him turn into his mother even more with lying and keeping secrets. Steven even stopped fusing with Connie because he had already put her through enough with all his thoughts.
His training with Pearl came to an end as well. He was still shaken up from all the flashbacks. Garnet and Pearl wondered what Stevonnie had saw that made her burst out into tears and fall off of the edge. They never bothered to ask because when they asked right after Steven said it was "fine". It wasn't "fine". His fighting was still the same but he usually came up with an excuse to not go on some missions. The gems didn't notice anything different about him either.
Bad dreams started occurring after all his flashbacks. He didn't like going to sleep because he knew he would have to go through all the moments again and again. It usually started out with the flashback of Jasper. She looked so hurt and then she got corrupted. He just wished he could've helped her, but she could never see that he wasn't Rose. After Jasper it came Bismuth. Their battle he saw every night in his dream. How she thought he was Rose and she almost shattered him. Then he hit her with Rose's sword and she poofed. He had bubbled her and explained everything to the gems. He had also wished he could've made her believe he wasn't Rose. His next dream would be of the Rubies. He had tricked them and sent them off into space. His dream was more focused on the Ruby he called "Eyeball". He pushed her off into space because she had also thought he was Rose Quartz and tried to kill him. Those dreams repeated every night. He usually woke up crying.
"Not again!" Steven cried waking up from his nightmare. They were so realistic; it was as if he was actually there doing it all over again. "Why do I keep having these dreams." He put his pillow over his face and wiped his tears that were still in his eyes. It was only 6:00am, the usual time he was woken up by his dreams. Steven never managed getting back to sleep because he was too afraid. He would lay in his bed for 3 hours until 9:00am. That was the time when Pearl usually would come out of her room and make breakfast for him and Amethyst. He would pretend to sleep so she wouldn't get suspicious.
"Steven, time to wake up." Pearl smiled shaking him to wake him up. "I made you some waffles with whip cream and a strawberry on the top." Pearl said walking down to the kitchen.
"Thank you Pearl!" Steven jumped up from his bed and sat down to eat his waffles. "You put the strawberry on perfectly!" Steven giggled because he thought it was very important for the strawberry to be in the perfect spot.
"You Taught me well." Pearl chuckled a little. "Talking about teaching, are you ready to train again?" Pearl asked hoping for a yes.
"I-I need a little more time, sorry." Steven said almost choking on his waffle.
"I understand." Pearl frowned a little. "You finish up eating and getting ready for the day, I'm going back into the temple." Pearl walked towards the temple.
"Okay, thank you Pearl." Steven smiled which quickly turned into a frown when Pearl disappeared into her room. "I hate having to pretend to be okay." Steven whispered to himself. "I don't want to turn into you." Steven looked up at the huge portrait of Rose that hung above the door. "Why did you shatter her? I understand you wanted to protect the Earth but shattering was way too far. You hurt many gems including me." Tears streamed down Stevens face.
Thank you for reading!