The camera pans back and forth around an airport. A man clears his throat. The camera pans to him. "That's better. Hello Total Drama fans! Chris McLean here for another installment of Total Drama! As you know, last season, Pahkitew Island went a little….haywire."

Chef interrupts, "A little? That Scarlett chick nearly killed everybody!" Chris glares at Chef before continuing, "Yes, Chef, don't remind me. Thankfully, she's not returning this season. But a whole bunch of TD faves are! 28 to be exact!"

Chef rolls his eyes. "You expect me to feed 28 ungrateful teenagers? I at least hope DJ is coming back. He was a good kid." Chris chuckles. "Unfortunately no, he's swore off the show after the whole animal curse thing. Now, lets see who's returning for the million! First, the loveable guys of Total Drama Island! Ezekiel, Noah, Cody, Tyler, and Trent!"

The guys step off the Total Drama bus, each one more excited than the last. "You put me on a bus with homeschool? Isn't he still feral?" Noah asks, looking disgusted as Ezekiel scratches his ear with his foot.

"Nope. After several months of treatment, and therapy, Zeke is back to his old self." Chris explains. "But…what about the scratching of the ear?" Trent asks. "I said old self, didn't I?"

The boys shrug and stand over by the Total Drama Jet, which has arrived in the airport. "Next up, are some TDI ladies! Gwen, Izzy, and LeShawna! Also returning, Sierra and Alejandro!"

Cody hides behind Tyler after hearing Sierra's name. Alejandro exits the bus, looking smug as ever. "Hello everybody. It's a pleasure to see all of my old friends again." The Latino says, looking straight at LeShawna. "Oh no, you may have fooled me last time, but I'm not letting it happen again."

"Moving on, back from Revenge of the Island, Cameron, Dawn, Brick, Anne Maria, and Dakota!"

Ezekiel runs up to Anne Maria as soon as she gets off the bus, but she is too concerned with staring at Alejandro. Chris continues, "And our biggest bunch is from our most recent season. Please welcome Beardo, Leonard, Amy, Rodney, Samey, Ella, Topher, Dave, Max, Jasmine, Sugar, Sky, and Shawn!"

Ella runs off the bus and begins to sing, "Here I am on season seven! It feels like I am up in heaven! With my friend Sugar and the wizard too, and David's love might soon be true!"

"No! No! No! No more singing! Do I have to eliminate you again, Ella?" Chris exclaimed. The princess shook her head and shut her mouth, leaving Sugar very satisfied.

"Good, now, The Total Drama Jet has now been made to accommodate all 28 of you. But first, we'll have to split you up into two teams of 14. First, Amy, Max, Gwen, Cameron, Jasmine, Shawn, LeShawna, Ezekiel, Alejandro, Sky, Sierra, Cody, Dave, Izzy, and Sugar, you will be officially known as The Purple Possums!"

Confessionals

Jasmine: "Oh, being on a team with Shawn is going to be awesome! The only bad thing is that Sammy is on a different team. I hope her teammates treat her well."

Alejandro: "Hmmm, which one of my new teammates can be easily manipulated by male attention?"

End Confessionals

"The rest of you, Ella, Dakota, Tyler, Anne Maria, Trent, Beardo, Brick, Dawn, Rodney, Noah, Topher, Leonard, and Samey, you will officially be known as The Golden Geese!" Chris announced.

"Uh,Chris, is there any way I cannot be on a team with Sierra? PLEASE!" begged Cody as Sierra drooled over his shoulder. "Oh, what the heck? Rodney, you're on Team Possum now. Cody, welcome to Team Geese." Chris said.

Confessionals

Rodney: "I'm on a team with the 2 most beautiful girls in the world, Amy and Jasmine. Too bad Jasmine's dating Shawn now."

Cody: Okay, so it wasn't entirely about Sierra. The truth is…I have a crush on someone from the other team."

End Confessionals

"There you have it! The two teams for the season! Everyone is now boarding the Total Drama Jet for a trip around the world….because we didn't visit everything last time! Who will get on my nerves until then? *cough cough* Ella. Where's our first destination? Who is Cody crushing on? And can Ezekiel survive the first elimination? Find out next time on Total…..Drama…Global…..Warning!" The cameras cut as Chris yells, "WHERE'S MY ESPRESSO?!"