Made me laugh, how we were so close, almost like we were jointed at the hip. How close we use to be, and how far apart we are now. I've never loved a guy some much in my life, it was different than all the others feelings and emotions I've felt. It was so scary to feel, but at the same time made me feel so much better. We liked each other from afar, always lingering near each other, always having things to say. We'd always play jokes on people, and make fun which seemed almost like your favorite past time. To be honest, my surroundings, almost everything didn't matter anymore except you. My heart filled with happiness, beaming each and every time I was near you, feeling my heart skipping a beat as stupid as it sounds. I always played the tough, sometimes rude, funny girl that was pretty much unpredictable. But with you, my walls fell down, and so did I.

You made my stomach twist in knots, and made me laugh when basically your jokes weren't as funny as I realize now. But you never really realized how much affect you had on me. My eyes sparkled with delight, and there was never one day back then something could go wrong. Until you broke my heart, and left me in pieces. I know it was stupid to hand you this letter after this has been already done and over with. It's been at least a year and a half, and knowing you you'll tear it or burn it to shreds But I could never say it now how I feel to you. Now were nothing to each other and I wish it wasn't that way.

I remember walking from school with your hands linked in mine, feeling myself getting swept off my feet, you telling me about your crazy adventures with your friends that plastered a smile on my face. Talking about everything, and anything. I never felt so loved before.

Remembering the first time I had stumbled into your apartment, opening the doors for me and me becoming shy and more overwhelmed each moment by our love. How I scanned around the apartment, and throwing off my shoes spotting your room and dragging you with me. Remembering seeing your colonel laid out, and the axe that you smelt of. I had been a fool in love. So blinded by it. Still, you flicked on the tv while I just stared into your hazel eyes, looking at your wavy blonde hair and thinking, ' How lucky am I?..' With that our eyes met and our lips pressed against one another, rolling on the bed still our eyes beaming against one another's.

Feeling your hands touching my bare back, feeling almost nervous yet so excited, but afraid what could happen. For an hour we continued, as I laid on top of you, looking down feeling like the most beautiful girl in the world, feeling like I was the only one. I don't think both of us realized that something as beautiful as that could have an end. I was too stupid, too entranced to realize it would happen. You looking straight into my eyes and gingerly telling me you ' loved me' and back then I could tell you meant every word.

I had to rush out pretty soon because your mother was coming home, and of course it would bad if I had been around. Still, being gutsy I looked at you and asked sweetly for a couple of minutes which basically almost turned into an hour. You had to pick me up, from your bedroom as I understood clearly I had to part, as much as I hated it. Leaving the door partly open kissing real quick before I sped off.

Ever since then, that's all I had on my mind. My friends didn't seem to matter. I lost myself in you, so badly I never found my way out of it.

The time at the park was funny as hell. The snow was just starting to melt, and your friend was fighting with mine in a stupid little fight. I remember him throwing her pants down to her knees for the whole world to see, while we sat back in laughter kissing in-between feeling like life was so perfect. Remember you running towards me, that literally knocked me off my feet as somehow I managed to lay on top of you as we kissed each other. Even when we laid on the park bench, every moment was memorable. Especially when I was there with you at your apartment, and especially the park.

Now, I'm lost without you it seems. Even after dating a million guys none of them did it for me. None were the same. The loving feeling wasn't the same at all. I found myself staring at the places we had been, and found my eyes hazing with tears. Even walking past your apartment and now, leaves me feeling abused and hurt, like I'm walking on thin ice. But yet smiling knowing our memories are, and always will be there. Now were two different people, instead of one. We hated each other, because of those reasons, trying not too look back on the past and what we once were. Slowly I've accepted this is how it's gonna be now. I may not be as close, but when I'm around you the feeling still feels the same as it once did.

I always wondered did you really burned the letters I gave you? Did you ever think of me that way after all this, or I was nothing to you at all? You've moved on, and I'm glad you can, but I exactly can't. I felt I needed to write this to you, even if it means nothing to you, it means something to me. You were the best thing that happened to me, and always will be.

So would it be out of line to say if I missed you? Probably….

Author's Notes: Well all that was based on someone I was crazy about. I don't care how it sounds just something that needed to be off my chest.