Hey guys!
So, this is a petty little one-shot that I wrote today because... well because I don't like Jo and I felt like someone needed to call her out on her hoe shit. I was very disturbed by the way the show's writers handled the dynamic of our characters - especially the part where Lacey was slut-shamed for being in a monogamous relationship with a guy she's known her entire life, while Jo got a free pass on sleeping with some random she barely knew, throwing herself at her friend's boyfriend shamelessly (even after knowing they were together) and just generally being a terrible person.
I don't advocate slut-shaming anyone - I am a staunch womanist and feminist. However - y'all know Jo and her mom are the queens of hoe shit. I'm also not going to go into all of the ways this show has been problematic in its handling of these characters - such as perpetuating the hypersexualization of women of color in mainstream media, among other things (it probably isn't that deep to y'all anyway - that's my Psychology background peeking out). Instead, I've decided to write this.
I will, however, say that someone needs to write in a set of female friends for Jo, because that girl clearly has no concept of what it is to be a friend. To anyone.
And someone needs to call her out on her hoe shit.
Anyway - enjoy! I'm open to writing more if you guys like this, but if not, that's cool too. This is a pretty big departure from what I usually write, but I felt it fitting (or maybe I'm just moody today? lol). Also, an update for Fourth and Lennox is coming soon.
Last thing - I don't own the characters or the song (that belongs to the fabulous and flawlessly boujhetto - boujie and ghetto - Monica). Enjoy!
Lacey finished her makeup and slipped on her shoes, eyeing herself in the mirror as she did so. She ran her fingers through her long wavy hair, pulled high atop her head in a ponytail, and studied her reflection in the mirror. Tonight was a night out with her friends, and she wanted to be dressed for the occasion. She donned a floaty leopard blouse tucked into the front of a pair of high-waisted red shorts. Her shoes were a pair of camel-colored wedge booties, and her simple gold jewelry completed the look. Her makeup was simple as usual, but her deep red lipgloss and heavy black mascara added just a little bit of drama, playing up her large brown eyes and supple lips. The look was casual enough for a simple night out, but still made her feel like a million bucks, which, given the way she'd been feeling over the last couple of weeks, was a major step up.
Lacey hadn't been herself since she'd learned that her boyfriend, Danny, had cheated on her with her (former) friend, Jo Masterson. Well, cheating wasn't really the best word for it – she and Danny had broken up for a couple of months at the beginning of the year, and during that time Danny had made the unfortunate decision to sleep with Jo. Danny and Lacey had subsequently reconciled, and in an effort to start fresh with Lacey, he confessed that he'd had a slip up with Jo. Lacey was understandably hurt by his revelation, but, after several days of thoughtful deliberation (as well as masterful groveling on his part), she decided to forgive Danny for his indiscretion. It would take time, of course, but she knew that what they had was more important than a single bad decision. Lacey even confronted Jo about the issue, and the two of them had come to terms with the situation. She thought that in time she could forgive Jo as well, and maybe they could heal their relationship.
All of that changed, however, when she overheard Danny talking to Jo the night before. She closed her eyes for a moment, her thoughts drifting back to that conversation…
She'd woken up around midnight, immediately sensing that something was off. She reached for Danny next to her, but was alarmed to find only pillows and blankets in the sheets next to her. She got out of bed and walked to the bedroom door, stopping as she heard Danny's muffled voice in the next room.
"You've got to stop calling me like this Jo – we can't do this anymore…" Lacey's eyes immediately narrowed as she crept into the hallway in order to better hear what Danny was saying.
"Look, it was a mistake. You know that and I know that. I don't want to hurt you, but you have got to leave me alone. I…" he pauses for a moment, and Lacey can only guess that Jo is speaking on the other end. "It isn't that it wasn't fun. Of course it was fun. But I'm not in love with you – I'm in love with Lacey. She and I are going to get married and you…"
"It was a MISTAKE, Jo! Dammit – it was a mistake! I was drunk and sad about Lacey and you were there. It never should have happened, and it won't ever happen again. If you want to continue your friendship with Lacey, then I suggest you get used to it. She took me back, and I am not letting her go again…"
"What do you mean, you're not giving up? It's over, Jo – there is nothing between us. You're a great girl, but you need to find a guy that wants you. You can do better than chasing after someone who's in love with your friend."
Unable to listen anymore, Lacey had slipped back into bed, tucking herself in and pretending to be asleep when Danny joined her a few minutes later. He'd wrapped his arms around her, kissing her (apparently) sleeping form on the forehead before going back to sleep himself.
But Lacey hadn't gone back to sleep. She'd spent the rest of the night fuming about the unmitigated gall of her former friend. It was one thing to have slept with him. She didn't blame Jo for that alone – she held both of them accountable for that. But, after she'd confronted Jo about it, after they'd talked and had a heart to heart, after Lacey had been woman enough to attempt reconciliation with the girl – she was STILL trying to get with Danny!
So, when Danny had suggested a night out with their friends to lighten Lacey's mood, she'd immediately agreed. In a show of good faith, she'd even suggested that they invite Jo and Rico (the guy the blonde was currently dating) to their night out. Danny had blanched slightly at the suggestion, but agreed because he thought it would make Lacey happy…
Which brought them to their present situation. Lacey bit her lip, bringing her mind back into the now as Danny walked up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her lightly as he hugged her from behind. "You look gorgeous babe," he said, smiling at their reflection in the mirror.
"Ditto," she said, smiling back at him. "Ready to go?"
Thirty minutes later the couple arrived at Banana Joe's – a hip local bar they frequented. They exchanged greetings and hugs with everyone as the group pushed additional tables and chairs together to make room for the entire crew. Lacey surveyed the group and found that she felt very comfortable here in the company of her friends. She hadn't spent much time with them over the last few weeks, and it felt good to be back in her element among the people that she loved. She felt someone take her hand under the table and looked up to see her girlfriends Sarita and Regina smiling at her encouragingly. They were both aware of how hard the breakup with Danny had been on Lacey, and were supportive of her decision to work things out with him, even after she'd told them about the "Jo thing".
"You guys are perfect together," Sarita had said to her when Lacey came to the apartment she and Regina shared that night. "If you want to leave him, then I'll support you, but before you throw away everything you guys have built over the last six years, ask yourself this: If you could take away this one thing, is he still the man you want to spend the rest of your life with?"
Lacey had taken Sarita's advice to heart and really considered what she wanted out of life and her relationship. Once she realized that Danny was still the person she wanted her forever with, she decided to work on forgiving him. They'd had a good couple of weeks, but they weren't completely out of the woods yet. Still, she was confident that with time and commitment, they could come out of this stronger than they'd ever been.
Lacey still needed to figure out how to handle Jo, though. She wanted to send the message to the frizzy blonde that she was well aware of the games that she was playing and that it would not be tolerated. Just as Lacey was pondering the best way to handle the situation, Jo walked in with Rico tagging along behind. Lacey's grip on Sarita's hand tightened as the couple approached the table, but her smile betrayed nothing as she greeted the pair.
"Hey everyone," Jo said nervously, smoothing her hands through her newly straightened hair and looking altogether self-conscious in her skin. She was wearing a flirty black skater dress and flats, and Lacey noticed that she'd actually put forth the effort to put on some makeup. Any other night Lacey would have complimented her on the change in her look, but not tonight. Tonight, Lacey would be as petty as she damn well pleased – after all, she was entitled to a bit of cattiness after the crap Jo had pulled the evening prior. Not that Jo (or Danny for that matter) knew what she'd overheard… but that was okay. Jo would get the message loud and clear soon enough.
As the group worked its way through several pitchers of beer/mixed drinks and various delicacies from the bar menu, the tension seemed to dissipate. Regina, ever the party girl, squealed as she saw the bartender set out the sign for karaoke, and insisted that everyone perform something tonight. Lacey suddenly had the perfect opportunity to give Jo a piece of her mind.
She continued to nurse her drink as she watched each of her friends take turns on the stage. Archie, Cole, Tyler, and Danny performed a laughable rendition of "My Girl" by the Temptations, followed by an even more entertaining interpretation of "Stop" (by the Spice Girls) from Sarita, Regina, and Phoebe. A couple of the other patrons gave their own performances, before Lacey decided it was her turn. She whispered something into Sarita's ear and downed a quick shot of Jose Cuervo before heading to the stage. She smiled widely at all of the hoots and hollers from her table as she approached the microphone.
"This one is for a very good friend of mine – Miss Jo Masterson…" As she said the words, a bright spotlight suddenly landed on Jo (courtesy of Sarita's charming the DJ) and the first few bars of Lacey's song began.
Ho… Ho… Sideline ho
You's a ho, You's a ho… Sideline ho
When you called his phone, did he pick it up?
No? Cause we was making love
Have you met his moms? Did you meet his kids?
No? Did you know my kid was his?
Get your shit together, you're making a fool of yourself
It don't matter if he spends the night his home's somewhere else
Ain't you tired of being on the sideline?
Tired of getting yours after I get mine?
Baby, second place don't get a prize, when you gon' realize you're wasting your time?
Baby, ain't you tired of him getting in, hitting it real quick and rolling?
Tired of when you need a little change he lie about what he holding?
Ain't you tired of spending all the holidays alone?
Tired of being his little sideline ho?
Lacey smirks slightly as she sees Jo becoming visibly more and more uncomfortable by the moment. The blonde is squirming in her seat while everyone else in the bar looks on, riveted by this clearly passive-aggressive display.
Do he take you out? Do he foot your bills?
No… Cause I know what his balance is
Have you been to his church? Do he ask you to pray?
No… Cause Sunday's family day
Get your shit together, you're making a fool of yourself
It don't matter if he spends the night his home is somewhere else
Aint you tired of being on the sideline?
Tired of getting yours after I get mine?
Baby, second place don't get a prize, when you gon' realize you're wasting your time?
Baby ain't you tired of him getting in, hitting it real quick and rolling?
Tired of when you need a little change he lie about what he holding?
Ain't you tired of spending all the holidays alone?
Tired of being his little sideline ho?
By this point, Lacey can see that the girl is shaken and in near tears due to the embarrassment, but she does not stop. In fact, she takes the microphone from the stand and walks into the crowd, coming to a stop directly in front of Jo at their table as she continues to sing.
Do you got benefits? No
Credit cards? No
House keys? No
Then you's a sideline ho
Do you get pillow talk? No
Held at night? No
If you don't make his breakfast, then you's a sideline ho
Aint you tired of being on the sideline?
Tired of getting yours after I get mine?
Baby, second place ain't no prize,
When you gon' realize you're wasting your time?
Baby ain't you tired of him getting in, hitting it real quick and rolling?
Tired of when you need a little change he lie about what he holding?
Ain't you tired of spending all the holidays alone?
Tired of being his little sideline ho?
As the song draws to a close, Regina, Phoebe, and Sarita all join Lacey in the last few bars, each directing her attention to Jo.
You's a ho, you's a ho
Sideline ho
You's a sideline ho, sideline ho
At the conclusion of the song, Lacey makes her way back to the stage and returns the microphone to its stand. The entire bar is quiet, the crowd being momentarily stunned by Lacey's badass display. She smiles sweetly, and utters a quick "thank you" which seems to rouse the crowd from their momentary stupor, as they all erupt into applause for Lacey. As she makes her way back to the table, she notices Jo hurredly gathering her things to leave. Before she has a chance to, however, Lacey grabs her wrist and the blonde looks up at her, the shame and mortification evident on her face.
"One more thing, Jo," Lacey says, adopting the same sickly sweet tone she'd had at the beginning of her performance. Not waiting for the other girl to respond before continuing, Lacey simply stated, "Learn to take no for an answer next time – and don't ever call my house or my man again."
With that, she released the girl and turned back to the rest of the table. She took her seat next to Danny, who looked both amazed and concerned at the moment. She raised an eyebrow at him, and he raked his hands nervously through his hair, unable to gauge her mood at the moment. "You wanna tell me what that was about, Lace?" he asked tentatively, walking on eggshells at this point.
"What?" she said, shrugging her shoulders before leaning in to kiss him lightly. "I heard you on the phone last night… someone needed to say it to her."