This is my first fanfic so pleeez R&R!

Disclaimer: I don't know if I can say this…i..Sob sob don't own..don't sob own..KINGDOM HEARTS! okay. I said it. Happy now? If I did own it though, I would be the new, beautiful, key blade master! mwah-hah-hah! I would beat the crap out of kairi! As you can see, I have issues with that girl…

Chapter 1: nessie

Sora was standing in a field of beautiful flowers. The air was tainted with a beautiful smell. The most lovely scent he ever smelled."Sora…". Sora turned around. "Sor-aaa" . Heleaped toward the sound with his arms outstretched. He ran up and hugged…A GIANT COOKIE!

"Wake up, sleepy head!"

"Nngh, five more minutes and I'll be a happy keyblade master," Sora mumbled still half asleep.

"I said, WAKE UP!" Kairi screamed.

"AAAHHH!' Sora jumped out of bed still hugging his drool covered pillow. "What the hell!"

"And stop making out with your pillow," Riku said as he strutted into the room

"Nice pants," Kairi commented sarcastically.

Riku walked over to the window and opened the blinds.

"Aarrgh! It burns!" Sora covered his face with his pillow.

When Sora recovered from the shock of his life, he looked over at Riku.

"Why do you wear fishing pants?" he asked Riku.

"Why do you wear huge shoes?" he returned Sora's insult.

"Well…why is Kairi's head so big?" Sora said, out of ideas.

"You are dead!" Kairi screamed at Sora, as he cowered behind his pillow.

"Hey, why is everyone screaming? And Sora, why is your pillow covered in spit?" The three teens turned around to see Tidus sticking his head in the window.

"I…I thought is was a giant cookie." replied Sora embarrassed.

"You wanna sword fight?" asked Tidus.

Kairi was about to strangle sora when a beach ball hit her on the head.

"Owwww!" she growled, ready to attack the person who threw it.

"Oh, hi Tidus! Mornin' Wakka!" she chirped to the two boys in the window.

Sora looked at Riku, and he just shrugged.

"Sorry Kairi! But I didn't know that with a noggin the size of yours, it would hurt that much!" Wakka laughed and high-fived Tidus.

"I'm gonna KILL YOU!" she screamed at the two boys, as she pulled out a bazooka.

"Where'd she get that?" Sora asked Riku.

"Under your bed."

"Whaaa?" Sora stuck his head under the end of his bed.

"Nngh smiggle nyah-nyah!"

Suddenly, a shadow heartless poked it's head out from under the bed.

"Eat Keyblade, heartless! Kurae!" Sora screamed as he whacked the heartless with Kingdom Key.

"Damn!" exclaimed Kairi as she read the tag attached to the bazooka: AMMO SOLD SEPARATLEY.

"I'm gonna call the store and complain!" Kairi growled. She dialed the number for the store on Sora's room phone.

"Hello, you have reached the 'Store for Destructive Weapons' Hotline. Press one to order from our catalog. Press two to talk to our manger. Press three to hear the sound of a toilet being thrown off a cliff into a herd of bison."

Everyone was Kari, listening to the phone.

"Press three!" said Sora. "Three, three!"

"Yeah, press three!" exclaimed Riku.

Kairi glared at the two boys yelling and jumping up and down.

"Whaaat? I wanna see what happens!" Riku continued to whine.

"Wanna sword fight?" Tidus asked.

Meanwhile, Sora stuck his head back under the bed and began searching.

"Ow!" he shouted suddenly.

"What's wrong?"Riku questioned.

"Nessie bit me on the heaaaad…hmph!" Sora whined.

Riku stared at him in bewilderment.

"The Loch Ness Monster is under your bed?"

Water began seeping out from under the bed, and flooding Sora's room.

"No! You silly goose! Lake Loch Ness is under my bed!"