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Walking into Alexandria was like walking into the past, before the outbreak and the hardships. The picturesque community was the place you held in the back of your mind, while working those extra-long shifts. The residential area was so fresh and clean, the front porches well-kept and painted clinical white. Unlike the buildings outside the gates, they w ere now stained yellow and peeling with patches of over grown moss and splatters of dried blood. Eloise remembered the day she followed Aaron back to Alexandria.
The gates slid open revealing an untouched alternative world, it seemed so silly, so unbelievable that a place like this existed. It felt as if she stood in front of the holy heavenly gates above. Her brother often quipped that the dead were only walking because they had ran out of room below. The day her and Aaron met, he saved her life. Eloise was moments from release, from jumping, from having the thick cold metal crush her windpipe.
"W-wait, don't jump, please" Aaron hollered up at her from the grassy floor. His words were rushed and pleading. "Please, please don't do it. I'm scared of heights, and I don't think tree climbing is in my skillset."
If she hadn't been in the middle of an apocalyptic mid-life crisis she would have sniggered. Aaron had coaxed her down after hours of one sided dialogue. He had a gift it was true. Eloise had come across many people since the outbreak, but never anyone like Aaron. It was stupid of her to let her guard down, she knew better. With a grief stricken heart all she could do was limply follow.
The first night at Alexandria was surreal, it almost made her feel sick to her stomach. The glossy marble kitchen counter tops, the neatly placed bed throws and plumped sofa pillows. All the while images of her brother's lifeless body propped up against a lone tree flashed in her mind. If he were there with her he would have scoffed at all of it. He'd wouldn't have even made it past the gates. Jackson was a military man through and through, there was no pulling wool over his eyes. He had grabbed this new world by the throat and ripped into it like a feral wolf.
Aaron had offered for her to spend the first night with him and his boyfriend Eric. Not having the energy to decline she nodded in acceptance. He had informed Deanna the shape in which Eloise had been found and thought it would be best her interview wait until sunrise. After leading Eloise to the upstairs bathroom, providing fresh towels and clothes he left her alone. Eric shot him a look of empathy as Aaron descended the stairs, he let out a puff of air and returned Eric's look with a small smile and a squeeze of the shoulder.
Eloise embraced the warm water spraying against her sunned skin. In that moment she shut her eyes tight, enough to cause a headache, tight enough to provoke memories held before the outbreak. It was her first warm wash since it all started, she must have spent forty-five minutes plus lingering in the suds. She stood in front of the mirror inspecting the reflection. It was too be expected that she looked different. Eloise raised a hand to her throat imagining the coldness that was pressed against her throat earlier that day.
Running her fingers lower to her protruding collar bones. It was almost humorous that at one point in her life weight loss would have been something to aim for, but she didn't look like a model as hoped, she looked sick. Her fiery waved hair had once barely touched her shoulders now rested against her chest. Whilst running her hands through the ends of her hair she looked back up to the steamed mirror.
She was hardly recognisable. It wasn't just the hair growth, the added freckles to her nose, or the sunken cheek bones. It was the sadness in her eyes – she just looked so sad.
Once she was dried and dressed she stalked out of the bathroom and tip toed to the spare room. She was a fool for letting her life be held in a strangers hands, but she was just so tired not just due to the lack of sleep. Tired of surviving.
The next morning she joined Aaron and Eric at the dining table for breakfast. It was filled with awkward silences and polite smiles. Eloise found the scene extremely hard to process, in her eyes she shouldn't be sat eating banana pancakes. She should be with her brother surviving out in reality - not in this make believe paradise. Or at least in her eyes it should be him making small talk (not that he was any good at it) instead of her.
Eloise entered Deanna's home doubtful and conflicted. While trying to process her loss, being thrown in to dreamland was all too much for her to cope with. Her interview was a blur of tears, lies and confessions. However, once the camera turned off she felt a little bit weight lift from her shoulders.
A few days had gone by since the interview. Eloise decided she didn't have much choice but to stay, she had no one, no more family, and no group. If she turned down the little bit of light she had in her life she might as well have jumped that day Aaron found her. She looked back on that day as a lapse in judgement, she wasn't that person, but losing Jacks was like losing a limb. He was the reason she had made it this far, for her to give up now would be in vain.
She had been out with Aaron a couple of times since arriving. He felt giving out second chances may be something Eloise would take to, seen as though she had been given one herself. Eloise being the pessimist she was; she couldn't help but feel that it was another way to ensure she wouldn't try to off herself again.
One day Eloise declined to accompany Aaron. She felt she had been recluse for long enough, one thing Eloise never wanted for herself was to be dependent. After waving Aaron off from the gate she turned to explore and hopefully find a vacant room. Once completing the small to-do list which read along the lines of, find house, find purpose, find will to live. After speaking to Deanna they both agreed it would only be fair for her to occupy the smallest property in the area.
Deanna was a small woman, with a calming demeanour and strong blue eyes. Eloise wanted to thank her but didn't know how – she had nothing to give. Eloise was deeply embarrassed about the situation in which she was found. She had grown up with two older brothers so she was never short of certainty and aggression.
"Eloise, stop fighting this." Deanna demanded. "I understand living within a community is a distant memory for most. I don't need you to prove yourself, you've lasted this long haven't you?"
She squeezed Eloise's wrist in an effort to comfort. "That tape we recorded won't define you forever, Eloise."
Deanna confirmed she would be assigned a role in time. Eloise hoped a role would restore purpose.
"Thank you" Eloise whispered. Eloise said her goodbyes to Deanna before turning to wonder the streets of Alexandria.
A couple days had passed, she was sat upon her small blue porch with a cup of tea in hand. She closed her eyes, the heat of the sun and the sound of children playing, it could have easily been a simple day at the park.
The blissful day was cut short by hollering from the gates. Immediately she jogged to the gates along with a handful of residents. She desperately made her way to the front of the crowd, in hopes to see Aaron back safe.
It was surprising when they were met with the sight of a group of outsiders led by Aaron. He shot her and the rest of a crowd a small smile before shuffling further inside. Aaron motioned the outsiders in as if persuading a group of strays. They were dishevelled, much like herself days before. Eloise took in the individuals one by one. They were a contrasting group of people bound together, not by blood, but by experience and a common goal: survival.
The baby held her interest for the longest, a baby, thinking back to when relatives would always comment "you'll be next" and "it will be you soon", to which she would reply "I'd have to find a fella' first" causing strained laughter and shy smiles. Her relatives were right she could have been next, at the age of twenty four before the outbreak she had plenty of time. Now, that dream of a bundle of innocence was no more than a birthday candle wish.
Nicholas advised them at the gate they were too give up their weapons if they were to stay. The offer was abruptly declined by the man with the bead and the baby. Aaron being the mediator he was, he found a solution to be agreed upon. Once interviews had been conducted weapons were turned in and they were shown where they would reside.
Eloise couldn't help but feel a shift in power when they arrived. Guns like those don't just get handed to you without getting bloody.
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