A/N. A re-working of my very first fanfic, published on this site for the very first time. Hope you all enjoy :)

The sun shines brightly at Survey Corps HQ. The newest recruits are busy sparring in the courtyard with Mike, sweating profusely under the midday sun Oh, what you wouldn't give to join them. You've just spent your morning mucking out the horses, much to your dismay. Alas, it needed doing, and you've never minded getting your hands dirty. That, and it gave you a decent excuse to use the bathroom before what is sure to be an interesting afternoon.

You smile to yourself in the mirror. You've been a member of the survey corps for six years, and in that time so much has changed. New recruits, new challenges, and (most importantly) a devastatingly handsome new commander.

Ah yes, Commander Erwin Smith. Eyebrow fanatic and tactical genius. And of course, the subject of your infatuation for quite some time now. You just can't help the way your heart flutters every time he looks you directly in the eyes, or the heat that consumes your body whenever he's near you. It's enough to make you quietly slip a hand between your legs most nights in your bed at the barracks, your mind creating the most delicious images of his blonde hair between your legs…

A rather loud THUD against the bathroom door brings you straight back into reality. Now really isn't the time to be thinking of such things, especially given who you're assisting this afternoon...

'Heyyyyyyy, come on outttttttt. We've got Titans to research!' Hange yells, her over-eager voice coming from just outside the bathroom door.

'Just a second, Section Commander!' you reply, sounding thoroughly startled. Honestly, with timing like that, it's almost as if the somewhat-crazy SC has been reading your mind! Perish the thought! You've yet to disclose your feelings toward Commander Smith to anyone, and having a blabbermouth like Hange find out would spell disaster.

Stepping out of the bathroom in your fresh uniform, you're greeted by the sight of Moblit trying to talk Hange out of something (as usual).

'Please, Section Commander! Reconsider! There's so much data left to consolidate from the last Titan we captured, we really don't need to try and capture another one today! Besides, we'd never get the clearance from the Commander! There's no way he'd let us…' Moblit is cut off suddenly by the sound of Hange's laughter.

'Oh Moblit, you didn't think we were going today, did you?! Ha! That's classic. No, I've spoken to Erwin about catching a Titan on our next expedition! We don't have the resources to venture outside the walls just for a single Titan! As much as I would LOVE a new friend to play with, that's simply not possible right now.' She turns to you, trying to contain her maniacal laughter.

'Now my dear, the three of us have a whole heap of raw data that needs compiling into reports. Said reports will then need to be taken to Erwin for him to peruse. After that, dinner, and a chance for us to share verbally everything we've learnt today! Doesn't that sound fun?!' She grins at you.

You nod reluctantly, your heart fluttering furiously at the mention of Commander Smith's name. Paperwork detail is one the few times you actually get to speak one-on-one with the blonde. He always asks for a brief overview of the report, and occasionally a few more personal things like 'How's life in the Survey Corps treating you?' and 'Have your heard from your family recently?'. Last week, he'd even invited you to drink tea and go over the reports with him! You'll never forget the way his eyes stared at you from over his teacup, or how a single drop of tea escaped and trickled down one side of his mouth, his tongue gliding over his full lips as he tried to catch it…

'Right then, let's get to work!' Says Hange, once again breaking you out of your daydream. By the walls, this is not good! Two lurid thoughts in the space of five minutes! You need to get a grip ASAP, or else the afternoon is going to end badly.

You follow Hange and Moblit down the hall and into a room full of random bits of paper. The paper contains everything you'd expect, including rushed notes, doodles (is that Nile Dok being eaten by titans?) and complex field sketches. You sigh. This is going to take hours! Well, at least it will take your mind off of the Commander…

You roll up your sleeves. Time to get to work.

-t/s-

Four hours later, and most of the pieces of paper have been consolidated into reports.

'Phew, that took longer than expected!' Excllames Hange dramatically, wiping a hand across her brow.

'Only because you kept reminiscing about the Titan we captured!' Replies an exasperated Moblit.

You giggle to yourself. Despite all the hard work, it's been a very pleasant afternoon's work all in all. You've even been able to keep your mind away from your more risqué thoughts. You know full well how foolish they are. Veteran or not, you're still just a soldier, and fantasising about your commanding officer is totally unacceptable. As if a man like that would ever see you in the same way, anyhow. He'd probably laugh and dismiss you immediately. You clearly look troubled, as Hange places a hand on your shoulder.

'What's bothering you, sweet heart? You seemed off when I collected you earlier, and now you seem so sad. Is there anything I can do?'

'Honestly Hange, I'm not sure there's anything anyone can do. Unless you can erase other people's feelings. That would be handy.' You lament.

Hange stands, and asks Moblit to go and see how the rest of her squad is doing, before taking a seat opposite you and placing her hand on your shoulder once more.

'Does this have anything to do with Erwin?' she asks plainly. You swallow loudly, and nod weakly. 'Oh,' she replies, suddenly looking awkward. 'Look, my dear. Just because he's the Commander, doesn't mean you have to submit to him in personal matters. I know it's hard to say no in these situations, but if you honestly don't feel attracted to him you can just tell him no.'

All the blood in your body rushes into your head all at once. Surely Hange isn't saying what you think she is? Is Hange implying that Commander Smith (Erwin, the treacherous part of your brain corrected you) has some kind of feeling towards you? Bullshit.

'Oh, shit. He hasn't told you, has he? That man, honestly! He goes on about us dedicating hearts, yet he can't even dedicate his own! He told me that he's been attracted to you since you bought him that first report. Whether it's just a physical attraction or something more, I don't know, but the point is that our dear commanding officer would very much like you fuck you into oblivion on top of his desk!' Hange beams at you, looking both excited and nervous in equal measure

You both sit in silence for a while, Hange trying to calm down and you trying to process things. All this time you've dreamed of one day being with your Commander, wanted him more than any other man, and now someone is sat telling you that you could have him, that he wanted you to have him. It's like your birthday had come early!

'I think I'll take Commander Smith these reports now. If you'll excuse me.…' you begin to leave with the reports.

'Wait!' exclaims Hange. 'I know it's a shock, but please, think on what I've said and how you feel. Erwin may have kept his feelings to himself thus far, but I doubt he'll keep quiet much longer. You need to have an answer ready for the day he finally confesses his feelings for you.'

'Thank you for your advice, Hange, but I made up my mind the second you mentioned fucking him on a desk' you say with a wink.

Hange's face lights up, her expression like that of a child in a sweet shop. Before the Section Commander can say anything further however, you bolt from the room, hurrying along HQ's many rooms until you reached your destination; Erwin's office.

Before you get a chance to knock on the door and request entry, you hear something that takes you aback. A noise, muffled by the thick wood of the door. Then another. And another. Your mind races, wondering what could cause him to make such noises, before eventually reaching conclusion; Erwin Smith, Commander of the nation's bravest soldiers, is crying.

You find yourself caught between the need to leave him be and let him ride it out in silence, and the need to be there to comfort him. Ultimately, and perhaps selfishly, the latter impulse wins out. You givethe door a tentative knock. When you don't hear a response, you quietly open the door.

Erwin's office looks much the same as it always does. Bookcases filled to the brim with both books and old reports line the walls of the room, making it look like a very small library. In the centre of the room is a large desk mahogany desk with some paperwork on one side, indicating that he'd been working before his emotions got the better of him. Just as you begin to look for him, another noise catches you attention.

Your name. On his lips.

At first, you assume he's addressing you, finally acknowledging your presence. That is, until you see him.

Sat in a corner not too far from the desk, on a rather comfortable-looking armchair, is Erwin Smith.

With his trousers and underwear down his legs.

Gripping his cock.

Crying out your names in ecstasy.

Your mouth goes dry. This is the single sexiest thing you've ever seen. All those nights alone with your thoughts don't even begin to compare with reality. The way the sweat drips from his perfect brow, the way he has his eyes screwed tight in painful concentration, the way he plays with himself with such abandon…

Then it hits you… what the fuck are you supposed to do now?! You can't exactly announce your presence, he'll be furious! (not to mention frustrated, given how close he looks to finishing). You can't exactly join in, though! That would be weird, and consensually very dubious indeed! That leaves only one option; leave the paperwork on the desk, and get the hell out of Dodge before he's lucid enough to notice you.

As quietly as you can, you crept across the far side of the room, and place the paperwork on the desk. No doubt he'll ask you later on how it got there, but you'll cross that particular Titan-infested village when you got to it!

As you creep back towards the door, Erwin grunts your name one final time, before releasing into his hand, your view of the act mercifully obscured by one of the bookcases.

Resisting the urge to get a proper look, you make to leave, when you hear him call you name yet again. Only this time, he doesn't say it with a voice full of passion; he says it with a voice full of curiosity.

Suddenly feeling rather bashful, you leave the room faster than you've ever done anything in your life. You sprint towards the mess hall, grab your rations, and settle in-between your comrades, earning you some funny looks as you start eating.

A few moments later, Erwin (mercifully fully clothed) enters the mess hall too. You watch as he collects his (notably better) rations and takes his usual seat next to Mike at the Officer's Table.

The next few moments pass in near silence, the only noises being that of chewing, swallowing, and occasionally talking about the day's events. After a while, you begin to relax, assuming that Erwin is keen to forget what just transpired. After all, he would probably have preferred you to be naked and sated the first time he came in your presence. You finish your meal, hand in your tray, and are about to leave the hall when a hand on your shoulder stops you.

'I'd like to have a word. In private.'