Disclaimer: Three loud booms sound out, and the curtain goes up amidst a round of applause.
James waltzes onstage in a bright pink tutu, singing 'I feel pretty', amidst chirping crickets.
"Why, hel-lo people!" comes the falsetto, "So wonderful to have you here! You know-"
CUT!
Sorry?
Much as I am loathe to point this out, your 'Pink Tutu Disclaimers' are supposed to feature an unwilling participant.
Oh, that's right. Sorry:clears throat: From the top then!
Three booms sound out, and the curtain rises amidst a round of applause.
Jigglypuff, in a bright pink tutu to match its natural coloring, hops onstage with its trademark mike-like felt-tip marker and takes a deep-
CUUUUUT!
What now?
Do you want to put your audience to sleep! And, stop me if I'm wrong but, how is it traumatizing for a pink marshmallow to wear a similarly-tinted tutu?
Okay, okay! Sheesh, talk about demanding:clears throat: Once again!
Three booms, curtain, round of applause, you get the picture…
Butch walks onstage, looking decidedly ill-at-ease in his bright pink tutu, amidst chirping crickets.
"How did I get roped into this! I'd expect this kind of behaviour from that deviant, James… But me!"
A thick scroll rolling from the prompt box grabs his attention, and he bends to pick it up, then hastily rises again, brow coloured blue, when catcalls and wolf-whistles are heard backstage.
He quickly peruses the first few lines, scoffs loudly at such concepts as 'moral property', then throws the scroll, along with a hand grenade, in the direction of the pervert stage-hands.
A few yelps and mad scrambling is heard, then a loud detonation, followed by the sound of falling debris, and at last blessed silence from that quarter.
Smirking evilly, Butch turns to the audience, pulled-out-of-hammer-space bazooka in hand.
"If any of you sue, I'll blast 'em off at the speed of light!"
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A/N: That was… below par.
Yeah… Anyway! Don't own, don't sue! If you were to do so, I honestly have no idea what I could offer as compensation, aside from my own body.
:in a supplicating pose: Refrain! Please, for the love of all that is good and… some-moral-value-or-other, refrain!
This is another crazy idea that's been wandering about. There've been tons of ranma x-overs with x-over couplings, and tons of ranma yaoi stories; but I have yet to see a ranma x-over with a x-over yaoi coupling. Thus I embarked upon this quest to remedy that lack in the fanfiction universe.
Someone's got a high opinion of their own self-worth!
A/N2: To the readers of my HP fiction, fear not! It is not dead, nor will this story replace it as far as update priority goes. Next update will be my Naruto fic, and then back to Harry Potter.
Happy, now?
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Warnings: slash, yaoi, male/male relationship of the Ash/Ranma persuasion. If you don't like, then don't read; no one's forcing you. Other pairings are undecided as of yet, and subject to change without notice. And then, of course, there is the ranma/pokemon cross-over; plus divergence in the pokemon universe after the Johto season (Hoehn/Advanced never happened), and continuation in the Ranma-verse (after the failed wedding attempt).
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Code-O-Rama:
"Blah": speech
Blah: slight emphasis
Blah: heavy emphasis
'Blah': thoughts
/Blah/ Telepathy
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In a dark, ancient place, a place long passed from the memories of men, a foul plot was afoot. A plot so evil, so machiavellian, that just the sound of the plotters' voices was enough to send shivers down any mortal's spine. And that was not mentioning their laughter! Oh, their laughter! A laugh steeped in such sheer malice, such absolute sadistic glee that to hear it would make any grown man lose bladder control.
Actually, it sounded suspiciously like a girlish giggle.
"How about like this? Look! Look! Like this it could work out!"
"Yeeeeaaah… But Ah shtill dun unnershtand how're y' gonna -hic- manashe ta bring 'em t -hic- t'gethur in thu fir' place…"
The first one giggled, then scooped a suspicious creamy white substance from a bowl sitting by the mat upon which she sat on bent knees, and happily sucked the contents off the spoon.
"Ah re-really think ye shouldna 'ave any -hic- any more ov zat…" her companion commented, a wary look managing to surface in her droopy eyes.
"And I really don't think you should have any more of that." The first replied, pointing at a tall-necked bottle sitting by the second's own mat. "Your point?"
The second looked at the bottle, made several attempts at grabbing it, and after finally managing to catch the 'elusive little bugger', took a hearty swig. She set the bottle back down while letting a satisfied whoosh of air out. "Gotcha!" she replied to her companion. "I letcha 'coma- 'commi- 'cam-… become one wiv your -hic- friend, a-and you let me d-do th' shame wiv mine!" she fell silent for a while, before adding a belch for effect.
Her companion giggled. "So, shall we do it? It'll be so much fun: A bond that spans time and space, evil sorcerers—well, kinda—, life-or-death struggle, True Love Conquers All… and the best is that there's nothing old fuddy-duddy will be able to do about it!"
The second took a look at the 'plan' spread between them, before emphatically nodding her head. "Okay, -hic- count-t me in!"
The first held up a gold floss, "then I'll just spin this into the lil' guy's thread," she then showed another floss, though this one was a silvery green, "and this one into the other's mother's."
"And at that place," the second replied, pointing to the relevant section of the diagram, "I pull thoze two fthreads to join alongshide th' third… They're gonna be shtretched a bit thin yanno."
"Can't you loop them around the underlying intervening threads?"
The second glared, "I'm drunk, Clotho! Easy words, okay?"
"Alright," relented the Maiden, "You go like… this, and then you loop… Like that, see?"
"Oh! I see! Yeah that shou' work…"
"Thanks, Lachesis! You're the best!" bubbled the sugar-high Clotho, before enthusiastically hugging her sister, giggling all the way.
In another part of Destiny's Castle, Atropos, the… other… railed about damn teenagers switching her normal chocolates with the 'special' chocolates, unknowing of her sisters' manipulations of The Tapestry.
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It had been a month since the end of the silver conference(1), and Ash and his friends were currently relaxing at the raven-haired youth's hometown: Pallet. Well, that was the original plan, anyway. Right now, though, Brock and Misty were trying to keep Ash from hurting himself while in the throes of one of his splitting headaches.
These had started three-and-a-half weeks prior, but had been a mere slight pain behind the eyes, nothing to get worried about. However, during the fortnight-long trip back to the pre-teen's home, the headaches had kept coming and going, each stronger than the last, each closer to the previous one.
Half-way back, they had stumbled upon a mischievious Misdreavous who seemed to have a thing for pulling girls' hair. During the ensuing altercation between the wild pokemon and Misty, Ash had cried out suddenly and fallen to his knees, losing his cap in the process, as the strongest headache yet gripped his poor abused brain. The Misdreavous had immediately abandoned harassing the fiery-tempered water-mistress in favor of settling atop the pain-ridden boy's head, its robe-like body covering most of his black bangs. Just like that, the pain had been toned down to a much more tolerable level.
Since then, Misdreavous practically never left its newly-chosen trainer's cranium, going so far as trying to morph its body to resemble the cap that had previously resided there. Pikachu had taken an immediate shine to the compassionate ghost pokemon, while Misty harbored a strong resentment due to their first, less-than-pleasant—at least, as far as she was concerned—interaction.
When they had finally arrived in Pallet, Mrs. Ketchum, upon learning of her son's headaches, got a serious look on her face. She immediately assigned her Mr. Mime to help Misdreavous tone down her progeny's headaches, then ran off to vid-phone Professor Oak and Sabrina, the Saffron city Gym champion.
And now, one week later, not even the combined efforts of Misdreavous and Mr. Mime could stave off the full effects of the headaches, and Misty and Brock had trouble making Ash stay on the couch. The door to the living room suddenly burst open, and Sabrina strode in purposefully, closely followed by her father, as well as Mrs. Ketchum and Professor Oak.
The two psychics immediately bent down to the thrashing boy's level, and put a hand to each of their patient's temples, who abruptly froze mid-thrash, then fell limp. Brock and Misty let out twin sighs of relief, but it was short-lived. Sabrina and her father looked worried.
"Miss Sabrina?" Misty ventured, "What's wrong with Ash?"
A sad look flashed across the older girl's features, before being quickly hidden behind a professional mask. "His powers are awakening. It would appear your friend has latent psychic abilities, however they were being held off by a very strong mental block. The headaches come from his abilities tearing through that block." All this had been delivered in a cold, clinical tone, but now the psychic visibly sagged as she heaved out a heavy sigh, full of uncertainty and regret. "Without the block, his powers would have manifested gradually, without any danger to others, but now…" she trailed off, and glanced sadly at the prone boy, then at the boy's mother who looked to be on the verge of tears.
"You're going to have to take him away to train him, so he doesn't accidentally hurt others, correct?" the middle-aged woman asked tiredly, resignedly.
"Indeed," Sabrina's father spoke up when she herself seemed unable to do so. "Given the strength of the block and how his powers are still managing to overcome it… Frankly, I have trouble imagining how powerful he will be when fully trained; but he's already on par with a Kadabra, and leaving him with unShielded people…" he shook his head sadly. "That is just not an option."
The woman sank down in an armchair, facing her son, and seemed to take a minute to gather her wits, before she spoke again. "It's finally happened."
"Yes, I was afraid it would." Professor Oak answered, sadly. "For a while, I had thought our precautionary measures would be enough, but…"
"And now, that… that monster will be after him!" Delilah spoke bitterly.
Of all the other occupants of the room, only Sabrina's father seemed to not be entirely baffled by the odd exchange. "You mean Ash is the boy that…"
Professor Oak nodded silently in confirmation, while Mrs. Ketchum sunk her face in her hands.
"Heavens…" was all the middle-aged man managed to murmur.
"Father?" Sabrina softly questioned, but the man seemed unable to answer. The Gym leader's eyes unfocused briefly, before widening. "No…" she whispered.
"Yes," Professor Oak answered, looking frail and old, " the 'Human Mew' project."
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(1): I'm working from the french version of the show here, and so some of the names may appear jumbled up or something. When that happens, please don't hesitate to point it out to me. Or better yet: direct him to an episode guide site. In this case, I'm referring to the competition that takes place at the end of the Johto season.
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A/N: Dun dun dun duuuuuuun.
And that's it for the prologue!
Gee, d'you think it was ominous enough?
:ploughing on heedlessly: Next is the first chappie which will be in Ranma POV.
Oh, and please tell me if you liked it!