If you have ever seen a tiger in Australia, a princess in the clutches of a dastardly elf, or Paris, you may say to yourself or to the miserable grey people beside you, that you couldn't believe your eyes. Not believing your eyes doesn't mean that your eyes are not telling the truth and that you have chosen to not believe them, not believing your eyes means you are surprised, shocked, and inevitably shaken in amusement or pain by what you see around you, hear around you, feel around you, or even smell around you. If you have been following along with my saddening writings of the three Baudelaire orphans then you have probably clued in that every eyesight that the Baudelaire's have not believed in have not been amusement.
Sunny had not seen a single material in which she adored to bite with her very sharp front four teeth anywhere, since that dreadful day when the Baudelaire's fortune stopped - for good. Klaus had not re-re-read a single book from the collection of his parents literature of the Baudelaire Library, since that unfortunate afternoon while walking along the grey strip of Briny Beach. Violet had not invented something for her own comfort starting from the day their lives fell into shambles, rusting, bruising, and utterly being mangled as they went down the path of pure depression.
But saying that the sights that the Baudelaire's could not believe being pain is too general, or in other words "A bit to un descriptive of the Baudelaire's perils". The Baudelaire orphans have been in more of a terrible blender filled with utterly depressing times, whirring, and liquefying, until their lives are no more that a forgotten moldy stream of a tasteless mess, than pain. And I am sorry to say that the Baudelaire's lives will not be accompanied by amusing sights that are not believed by one's eye, but are acompanied by depressing sights in which the Baudelaire's can believe are happening, but that any other human being will not believe with their un detecting eyes.
"I can't believe my eyes!", exclaimed Mr. Poe as be looked out the window of the small buggy racing along the country side, "would you look at this countryside racing by! Isn't it simply - " but before he could finish his compliment to nature, Mr. Poe reached into his jacket and pulled out a white handkerchief, and coughed several times into it before putting it back. "Where was I?" he asked to himself.
Violet, the eldest Baudelaire was looking out of the window across from Mr. Poe's, sighing at the dark and gloomy country side much like her life, "You were saying what you thought of the countryside, and if you are going to say that it is gray, sad, and depressing, then you are in fact correct, unless your side of the road is green, happy, and sunny - "
"Juh?" Sunny asked abruptly as she sat up from her rest beside her eldest sibling. Juh, like many other words of Sunny's, have no true meaning, but can be translated into English by her loyal siblings. Juh? here means "What? You said my name, Violet!"
Violet looked at her confusingly, then smiled. "Oh no Sunny, I was talking about the weather - or what the weather should be like, as a matter of fact." she said, grinning for the first time in several hours. The small buggy bumped, raced, and maneuvered in all other sorts of fashions, a word which here means "Quirky directions, ways, and passages" down the small quirky passageway and during it's last maneuvering turn, it stopped abruptly, shuffling the Baudelaire's bodies, just like Count Olaf had shuffled their very lives.
Klaus was the first to speak up, "Excuse me, Mr. Poe, but where are we exactly?" he asked, staring out the dew covered window, out into the quirky countryside. But before Mr. Poe could answer, he reached into his jacket pocket, turned from Klaus, and coughed several times
"I thought you would know that, through all your research. As you can see," he responded as he pointed out of his window, "we have found ourselves at the edge of Finite Forest." Though Mr. Poe tried to point out through his window, the Baudelaire's could scarcely see anything. The sun was blocked by the pipe like trees stopping the light from proceeding into the vehicle. Not only was the sun blocked, but Mr. Poe was an obscurity as well, dangling his handkerchief right in the view of Klaus' unbelieving eyes.
Klaus, again, was the first to speak up, after giving up his examination of the nature out of Mr. Poe's window. "Haven't we been here. We went here once. It rings a bell, but I just can't put my finger on it." he exclaimed searching his brain for any necessary information. But before he could search any further, the driver's door opened, slammed closed, and the driver proceeded to open Mr. Poe's door. When he did so, and after Mr. Poe got out, coughing several times into his open handkerchief, the Baudelaire's could see the entire atmosphere in which was simply un seeable by the Baudelaire's eyes.
Klaus noticed the pipe like trees, while Violet examined the ground, seeing an asortment of clays, mud, and no trace of grass. Sunny couldn't see a thing because of Klaus' overpowering body, but she could still visualize what the dismal forest looked like from the looks on the Baudelaire's forest.
"Finite" Sunny shipered in a low voice just loud enough for the Baudelaire's to hear. There is no need to translate this as Sunny, instead of saying her general baby gibberish, finally said something that made sense in complete and understandable English. Finte, is a word that here means "The title of a dismal forest filled with pipe like trees, low shrubs, and hardly any wild animals whatsoever".
Klaus stopped his Trans over the forest, and stared at Sunny. "Finet Forest...Paltryville. I remember..." he said in a hush tone, mildly quieter than Sunny's before-hand exclamation.Klaus got on his feet, hunched his back so he wouldn't hit the car roof, and shuffled his way out of the buggy. Violet followed him, her head filling with thoughts of their stay at the Lucky Smells Lumbermill - her mind bringing up the fact that all they had to eat for lunch was a stick of gum. Sunny was left in the buggy, got to her feet and slowly walked her way behind her sister. Violet closed the door behind Sunny, and the three were left they, gawking at the tall trees, the gray atmosphere, and the silent rumble of lumberyards.
"Well. Yes, it's Finite Forest. remember your stay at Paltryville. It was a horrible one. But we're far from there," Mr. Poe said, reassuring the children, "Paltryville is too far west from here. Were east, near the Bleary Bogs, which is home to your new gaurdian."
Klaus stared at him, still gawking, looking down the road as if he'd just seen an aligator on Roller Skates. "You mean our gaurdian lives near the place where I was hypnotized, someone was murdered, and a bleary bog?" he started as he took a few step towards Mr. Poe, who was standing at the edge of the tree line, shivering from a cold gust of wind.
"Who is our gaurdian?" Violet asked curiously, as she too stood along with her brother. "I think we'd better know who we're dealing with. We haven't had much luck in the past." The two waited anxiously for Mr. Poe's response, but all he responded with was a gesture towards his jacket pocket.
"Cough" said Sunny.
"Mr. Poe - " said Violet, a little bit frazzled, "Mr. Poe - ." But Mr. Poe's several loud coughs showed he was not in the mood to answer questions while having a throat full of flem.
"End?" asked Sunny, as Mr. Poe removed his handkerchief from his mouth and looked at the Baudelaire's with confusement.
"End?" he asked Violet, "What does end mean?"
"Nothing Mr. Poe," started Klaus looking a bit frustrated and cold, "We would like to know who our gaurdian is."
"Very well then." Mr. Poe responded as he stuffed his handkerchief into his pocket, and with the other hand, pulled out a small sheet of paper and handed it to the anxious Baudelaires.
Anxious, if you have been following my studies, is a word which here means "Very impatient to hear word about their new Gaurdian", and does not mean nervous, which is a word which here means "What the Baudelaire's felt as the entered the clammy hands of Count Olaf.". There is a very significant difference, and if you have been told other wise then the person who told you should not be discussing synonyms, but should be writing down every detail of their pitiful life. Just as I am doing with the Baudelaire's. But as Klaus was handed the paper from Mr. Poe, he did feel anxious, just as his other siblings did. But after he read the unbelievable information, he started to feel nervous. And when you can't believe what you are reading, hearing, smelling,feeling, or tasting, a simple phrase comes from the lips of your mouth.
"I can't believe my eyes." whispered Klaus as the re-read the dreadful note left behind by one of the most obscure and rash orphan gaurdians ever.