Spoilers: Remembrance 3.17; Switchman 1.1

Content warnings: none

5 ways Jim never met Blair and one he did

1 Time to figure it all out.

Jimmy loved playing football, but dad just didn't understand, wanting him to focus on his school work. All Jimmy knew was that he loved being on the field, playing- it kept him out of the house and Bud was always there in ways dad never was. Dad said he'd never get to good schools unless he knuckled down and stopped mucking about, look at Steven he'd say. Jimmy thought that he wasn't like his little brother and didn't want to grow up and do whatever it was that his dad did for a job.

Practice day came round, same old same old and he wondered where Bud had gotten to. Suddenly the ball flew out over the practise park and into the woods and Jimmy was delegated to go look for it. The other boys were yelling, wanting to get back into the game play, so he looked hard for it. He spotted the ball but tripped and fell hard, banging his head on a stone. When he pushed himself up, more than a little dizzy and crawled to the ball he saw someone lying on the ground. Head pounding and smell and sounds going haywire, he realised that he recognised the clothes-it was Bud. Patting him and feeling for a pulse he pulled his hand away from his body horrified to find it was bloody. Heart pounding, staring at it, faintly mesmerised, he smelt something behind him and began to turn round. But it was too late; cold steel was already slipping between flesh and ribs. He flopped to the ground, his heart leaking blood inside his chest with every beat. His last annoyed thoughts were "I never figured out what I wanted to be..."

2 Living in hope.

William and Grace Ellison held a quiet family vigil at home on March 14th, the first anniversary of the disappearance of their eldest son James. Officially categorised as MIA by the US Army Rangers, the Ellison's still held out hope that some had survived and that continuing searches by the army would find them. They were Rangers and they would persevere despite all the odds. They were proud of James, going his own way into a completely different life. William had been disappointed at first, sure, that Jimmy wasn't going to join the company firm, but Grace said if he made a big issue out of it Jimmy would go anyway and never come back to them, and then where would they be? Steven just said what did they expect with Grandpa's tall war tales and staying at his log cabin and the hiking, fishing and shooting they did every summer? Steven loved his Grandpa and the tales but preferred the outdoors to stay right where it was. Jimmy revelled in it, becoming exceptionally attuned to the forest. It always seemed to calm him down, clear his mind, ready for the turmoil of the new school year.

The days and the months dragged on and Grace began to mentally prepare for the second anniversary coming up in six months time. Then there was a knock at the door. When she opened it, her mouth fell into an 'o' of surprise at the two crisply uniformed Rangers standing there. Whilst she had dreamt of this moment over and over again, it wasn't the same as living it.

"Mrs Ellison, may we come in?"

"Have you found Jimmy?" she asked, straight out as they removed their berets and came into the house.

"Ma'am, is your husband home or other relative?"

And that's when she knew. "He's gone isn't he?" she said, her smile wavering. The two officers looked at each other.

"Yes, I'm afraid so, Mrs Ellison. Please sit down."

"A satellite was launched recently and one of its sweeps over Peru picked up the lost Huey. We sent a team in and we found Captain Ellison's unit. I'm sorry to report that they all died in the crash. It seems that they unexpectedly ran into local insurgents and were forced d own."

Grace was numb; automatically she stood up again "Would you like some coffee?" and went into the kitchen to make it anyway. The tears began to fall as she spooned the coffee into the filter. A noise made her turn around. It was one of the officers.

"He was special, my James."

"Ma'am, is there someone we can call for you?"

"This isn't the way it's supposed to be!" she said, abandoning the coffee and fumbling for a tissue in her pocket.

3 We need to talk about Jimmy

"I only came back because of Jimmy, the doctors thought that my leaving was one of the reasons he's having problams."

"Grace, I was doing the best I could!"

"I know we need your money, but it seems like our children need the both of us, more. So, did you take him to a specialist yet?"

"And say what, exactly? That he's sensitive and can sit for hours staring at nothing?"

"Tell them everything, how else are they going to help him?"

"You think this is more than you leaving and him finding Bud's body six months ago? It isn't some kind of traumatic stress? Because if it's not hat than…how can he tell us he hears and sees what he does? That he's some kind of fre…"

"Don't say that word William! He's our son and that's all that matters."

"The doctors can't find anything so far in their tests. He hates it Grace. He says it's too noisy, smelly- everything just too much."

"Then maybe we just need to be somewhere else. Somewhere quieter. You remember how he loved your dad's cabin in the summer?"

"You want us to move? You know I have to have meetings…"

"What if you worked part of the week in the city and came back at weekends? Can't you do some things by phone conference?"

"Well, I suppose….how about I think about it some more and talk to people at work? But what about schools for the boys?"

And so it was that that Ellison's moved out of the city and further upstate into the North Cascades National Park. Jimmy immediately enrolled in the Junior Ranger's 'Raven' program, and then moved up to the 'Mountain Goat'. He volunteered in the holidays and when he was old enough he applied for an internship. When a junior post came up he applied for it and worked his way up the ladder, specialising as he went. Finally he became the 'go-to' guy when there were lost walkers and became a 'special agent' after training at the Federal Law Enforcement Training Center.

4 What's in a name?

Jim's bare feet dangled over the edge of the exam bed. He shivered slightly as a breeze went straight up his semi bare back. Damn flimsy med gown, he thought irritated. The doctor was taking his sweet time getting back to him. He didn't have time for this. There was a bomber out there, sending taunting messages to him alone. He had no clue why he was suddenly feeling like this. He was used to being in control, making a plan and going through with it. He looked at his watch again and made his mind up. He hopped off the bed and grabbed his clothes, angrily pulling his pants and shirt back on. Bare minutes later he was stalking down the corridor to the nurse's station.

"Can you tell Dr McGoo- whatever his name was, that I had to go."

He made it as far as the elevator when a doctor called out to him "Detective Ellison?"

Jim looked at the middle aged man with 'just beginning to grey' hair - at least he looked old enough to know something, he grudgingly thought.

"Doctor M-? I'm sorry I didn't catch it."

"Dr McCoy. I couldn't find my name badge and found an old done in my locker. I have to tell you I've scheduled some additional tests. But based on the results we have so far there doesn't seem to be any medical foundation for your complaints."

"I don't complain without good reason, doctor. But I'll come back if I can; I'm very busy on a case at the moment."

"If that's how you feel, I can't make you return."

Jim smiled at him. "No you can't." The elevator arrived and Jim got in and returned to the station house.

The doctor recognised the name in the afternoon papers the next day when he read about the hijacked tour bus exploding. Detective Ellison was seriously injured and currently in a deteriorating coma.

5 Throwback therapy.

"So what are you up to today, beloved son of mine?" Naomi Sandburg asked as Blair rushed into the kitchen, unruly hair flying and bag thudding to the floor.

"Classes, hitting the library. You know- the usual."

"Sometimes," she said with a fond smile, "I find it difficult to believe that you are an old soul in a new body."

"Aw, mom!" he said exasperated, he'd heard it all his life. She was convinced just because some shaman had told her this when she found out she was pregnant. He was twenty and had yet to feel that he had any wisdom to give.

"But it's true, sweetie! You sure you won't stay for my 10 o'clock?"

"No, I gotta run." He said, grabbing an apple and then his bag.

"It's the guy that Melody persuaded to come. That poor soldier, the…" her words were lost in the slamming of the front door, "one lost in Peru…" she finished to herself. Oh well, she thought and got on with making sure the therapy and consulting rooms were set up.

/-\\

Blair let himself in quietly, knowing his mother had clients and that loud noises could be traumatic. He slid his pack gently to the floor. He'd returned for a book he'd promised to lend another student and some notes. He could hear his mom's voice- encouraging and calm. He listened, knowing he shouldn't really, and caught the reluctant forced deep voice of her 10 o'clock. The voices rose and fell as he stood in the hallway. Suddenly there was anger and something else, anguish. The consulting room door was wrenched open and a tall, well built man with close cropped hair stalked towards him.

"Ah, hi." Blair murmured, but he man just raked him with an intense gaze and grunted.

His mom appeared, heading towards the door. "Please reconsider. I know I can help you!"

"Genetic throwback? I don't think so, lady!" and he opened the door and stomped out.

"Mother, you can't say things like that to a soldier! No wonder he left- you stomped all over his male ego!"

"I didn't tell you anything about him! Anyway he wasn't listening, didn't let me explain. But the Burton theory was always your pet idea, not mine. That's why I asked you to stay this morning, but you left without listening as well, just like soldier boy.."

"It's obvious he's a soldier- all uptight and protectory!"

She laughed and peered out of a window. "What is he watching?" Blair joined her, the man was standing stock still in the middle of the road outside.

"Snipers in the trees, I don't know. Burton- why did you mention him?"

"Because dearest boy, he's sensitive. Very. Poor man got stranded in Peru for 18 months and his army are trying to figure out what to do with him now. He's not adjusting to real life very well. PTSD is the label they've given him."

"Sensitive? How many?"

"How many do we have? And, he's still standing there. I think something's wrong, darling."

Blair pulled open the door and rushed outside. He looked around but couldn't hear anything unusual. Some kids were playing with a Frisbee in the park across the street. A big truck rumbled its way into the road heading towards them and still Mr Soldier didn't move.

"Hey are you okay, man?" he called out as the truck rumbled closer. Blair reached the man and grabbed his arm "Incoming! Get off the road!"

The guy blinked and swayed, seeming confused as Blair pulled him back onto the sidewalk. The truck went past.

"Close." said the guy.

"Hey, no problem. I'm Blair by the way. Naomi's kid." He explained as he stuck out his hand.

Soldier guy stared at him and back at his house, Naomi standing at the door and the light glancing off the brass name plate 'Naomi Sandburg Meditational Therapist'. He shook Blair's hand.

"Ellison, Jim. Captain US Rangers. Nice to meet you."

END