Summary: Axel has been bullied for what has felt like all of his life. When he finally gets fed up with it all, a stranger pulls him away from the edge.
Rating: M, for death, violent themes, sexual themes, blood, drama, and gore.
Based upon the song "Afraid," by The Neighbourhood. They're sex. Listen to them.
AN: A new story?! Zexy, it's been forever since an update! Yes, I know, but if I don't write this down NOW I'll blow up. This is sort of a vent fic, and I want it to be really long, but I don't think it can. This story will have two endings when I get done, and the reader will be able to pick which ending they want! Yay! So let's begin!
The summer night was sticking to my skin, perspiration dripping down my back muscles slowly. I wiped my brow, sweat faintly brushing my hand. The drag I had taken from my cigarette drifted through the night like fog, and as I sat and watched it fade, I recalled the events from life all at once, hitting me like a truck.
When I was a child, only seven if I remember correctly, my family had moved to Nashville, Tennessee from a tiny, unknown town in Arizona. Back then I had thought moving would be a fun, new experience for my naivety had yet to catch me. When I entered second grade, I had tried strenuously to make new friends. However, being new, no one would talk to me. The few that did had only negative words, and soon I detatched from my peers. Growing up, I had only one friend named Demyx. The only reason we became friends was for the fact that we both had a common unusualness that kept the others from us. Still, he was great company and became my best friend, and he still is to this day.
Going into high school was a new world of its own. I thought that no one would know me, that all the middle schools would pour into this solitary high school; I was wrong. My abnormality spread like wildfire in just the first week of being there, and in the flick of a wrist, Demyx and I were discarded to the outskirts once more. I dealt with it for a while, and I'm still dealing with it, but something keeps getting in the way.
Although we were outcasts, we found a league of our own. I made new friends, and although few, they have been there for me through thick and thin. But the warmth of these people did nothing to keep me from the cold sneers of everyone else. Today, for instance, I was tossed under the bus.
I walked into school, glasses on my face like always, my freshly-dyed red hair tied onto the crown of my head in a ponytail, music beating between my ears. My feet took me to the small pavilion in the school garden, the sole sanctum for me and my friends. Roxas was sitting on the bench talking animatedly to Marluxia about something I couldn't hear. I plopped my bag next to Roxas, giving him a scare to which he flinched.
"Axel!" he croaked. I gave a faint smile, receiving his full grin in return. Marluxia, one of my senior friends, gave me a look with no welcome whatsoever. Larxene, another senior, sat by him and scowled. She and Marluxia apparently were friends since diapers, and the two seniors had an obvious distaste for me, for whatever reason. Those two I didn't mind; they freaked me out anyways.
"So, Axel," Roxas began, "how was your weekend?" He smiled when he said it, and it almost made me grin with him. Almost.
"Yeah," Larxene sneered, "get fucked in the ass?" She smirked as if she had said the world's funniest joke, and Marluxia apparently thought she did with the way he cackled.
I scowled and looked down to the wooden surface of the table.
"I'm not gay, Larxene, for the last time." It pained me every time I had to point this out because I felt sure everyone knew I was lying. My face became hot, and I was positive they could tell, because she pressed on.
"No need to get your thong in a wad! I was just teasing. You're surely on top, right, faggot?" I clenched my fists, Roxas looking to me with a sad expression. I couldn't take him looking at me like that; I loved him too much for that hurt to be caused by me.
Taking my silence as anger, for once Larxene let up. "Fucking ass… Fine, don't answer me." She grabbed Marluxia's hand and led him away, a trail of annoyed curses following her.
Roxas grabbed my shoulder firmly, causing me to look at him. His eyes were sad, and I noticed him mouth was teetering on a smile, as if he was unsure if he should be consoling or empathizing.
"Hey," he started, "you know it's okay if you were, right?" He decided on a frown, I suppose not to edge me on.
His face screamed something at me, like I should just accept him, but for some reason he just made me angrier. He didn't know I liked him, which was good; but I felt like he was playing with the secret I held, and that pissed me off to no end.
"I'm not…" I croaked. His ears perked, and his hand went slack on my shoulder.
I stood and shoved him away. "I'm not fucking queer." I staggered away, not seeing the blue irises blinking away angry tears.
Like the cigarette in front of my feet, I'm dying inside. I'm so tired of the bullshit around me, and I can't stand it. Fingering the cuts zigzagging along my forearm, I get up and make my decision. Pulling on my kicks, I decide to go to the church's clock tower, an iconic building in this town*. I'm going to die. I can't take this static raging in my brain any longer.
The walk to the tower was longer than it took for the feeling in my chest to slowly creep through my insides, trying to make me back out. Shaking my head, I climb the stairs of the unoccupied building to my death. Reaching the door to the roof, I step through. Hauntingly, the lights of the city gleam at me, winking, waiting for my impending doom. I want to laugh at how final this is. It's almost like I'm realizing that life seriously means nothing, that the people giving me shit are pawns that can be discarded at any second. It's almost enough to make me turn around, but I stay. I walk to the ledge and sit, opening a can of coke I purchased from the drugstore down the street. Sipping slowly, I realize this is the last thing that will ever enter my body. I chuck it with force from the tower, not looking to see what happened to its remains, for I will soon take its place. I stood, eerily eyeing the Hell before me. I took down my hair, feeling the cool air blow through it, through me. Closing my eyes I jump, not caring what lies ahead.
Falling—I am still falling. I feel like I've been falling forever, and I'm not sure if death is supposed to truly be this drawn out. A voice rang through my head, almost scaring me to death before the impact of the jump.
"Are you sure you want this?"
I thought for a second, confused if this was my conscience.
"What?" Suddenly I'm no longer falling. Instead, I'm in a dark room, almost pitch black to the point of seeing nothing in front of me.
"I said," the voice remarked, "are you sure death is what you seek?" I almost feel the warm breath on my cheek, and I reach out a hand to the void space. A light flickered on, and a girl was in front of me. She had dark hair, like a raven, and her face was familiar yet far from memory. My hand groped the air in front of me. Is she real? I thought.
"I am real, Axel." My eyes widening, she laughs quietly.
"I'm your guardian." I laugh hotly.
"Seriously? Like my guardian angel or some shit? This can't be real." Her smile turns to a glower as she puts a hand to her hip.
"No, I am a death warden. I try to ward away as many people from death as I can, mostly because half of the people who die regret being sent to Heaven or Hell or to any afterlife." I respond with nothing, and she sighs in annoyance.
"I am in the inbetween, as are you. I am giving you a choice. Do you want to die, or not?"
I swallow the thick spit in my throat, contemplating the reality before me.
"I think I do," I murmur, and the girl gives her hand to me. I take it unsurely, and when our fingers touch I am suddenly in my room. I almost sigh in relief that this acid trip is over before I see her sitting on my bedspread.
"Xion," she remarked. "That is my name. And I know everything about you, from birth to now." I scratch my head, and before I can question her, she in interrupts.
"You want to die because you don't fit in and you're bullied, correct?" I nod complacently. She smiles sadly at me, and I know at that point I'm in something bigger than I thought.
"You want to die?" She stands abruptly before me, her oceanic eyes boring into mine.
I swallow, unsure of what to say. She grabs my hands in hers, and I feel tremendous power lurching through her veins.
"I will show you the aftermath of what would be your death. Then, you can decide if you still want to die."
Xion leads me through a bright light, and finally a though occurs to me. This cannot be good.
*= I have no idea if this is really in Nashville or not. I live in Tennessee, which is why the story is set here, but I have only been to Nashville once. Sorry ;A;
I hope you guys like this, though! This point of view is hard for me. I keep forgetting to make everything present tense and ugh. Review your thoughts, please!