Disclaimer: Do not own Naruto or related characters.
Court: That Damn Mask!
"Now Ms. Sakura, can you tell us why you are applying for a divorce?" The judge sat behind the high counter, robes flowing around her. She set a thin pair of glasses on the table as she addressed the bright headed women.
"I don't even know my husband!" She shook her finger accusingly at her husband, a very lazy looking Kakashi.
"What do you mean?"
"He…I…I have never seen him without that stupid mask on! Four years!" She looked at him, when he looked up she made an angry sound before crossing her arms with a 'ump.'
"…Alright, now Kakashi, why haven't you shown her your face?"
"…" The judge looked questionably at him. The crowd behind them consisted of fan girls of the "Mask Fans," who fawned over the mysterious shinobi in front of them. An angry Sakura felt the veins on her forehead bulge in anger.
Stupid fan girls, following Kakashi around, humping his legs. Those were the only things on Sakura's mind as they continued to yell their love to Kakashi.
"Okay than, Sakura you seem to be more…capable of answering, why does he not show his face?"
"Because, Your Honor, he has a slight problem." The girls behind her gasped in outrage and tried to reach over the guard to grab onto her hair.
"And what problem would that be?" Looking at Kakashi, Sakura saw his lone eye crinkle when one girl told him she would bare his child, she smirked and looked back at the judge.
"He has a few…facial flaws." The gasp of outrage was higher this time and held much more fury behind it. Shouts of angry protest and bad verbal language filled the room until the judge brought down the mallet. The judge raised her eyebrow and waited for her to continue.
"Well he has a rather large 'birth mark,' on his left cheek…but, Your Honor, it is not a birth mark, but a large MOLE the size of Japan!" The judge couldn't help but burst out laughing at this and Kakashi's reaction…his eye became huge, with his pupil narrowing at her.
"So…he is using it to hide his…facial flaws?"
"Yes, Your Honor, all these fan girls wouldn't be behind me if they knew what he really looked like!" Sakura did not see Kakashi jump silently from his podium to her, but felt arms slide tightly and harshly around her. Stunned, she looked at him, only to see fury on his face, with a few hand seals they were gone with a "poof." Fan girls cried in outrage, and that day was the day that the courtroom fell as they ripped past the walls to try to find their KAKASHI-KUN!
He had poofed them back to his apartment, and Sakura was already infuriated with him and her for letting him do it. She had landed three solid punches to his arms, making him cringe.
"So Mr. Mole what is wrong now?" He looked at her with laziness as he rubbed his sore arms.
"I…Do…Not…Have…A…Mole."
"Kakashi…a thing that size is no longer a 'beauty mark.'" He grabbed her and with his other hand stripped off the hitai-ate and pulled down that elastic mask. She only got one change to see a narrow nose, firm lips, a strong jaw and high cheek bones before that lips were attached to her own.
An hour, fully sedated, Sakura ran her fingers along his jaw…"So no mole?" He asked with a raised eyebrow, his eyes filled with silent humor.
"Yeah, we'll say no mole…but only in the bedroom. Outside here, your lower face is filled." When the other eyebrow followed the first she looked up at him with amusement. "I cant stand them following us everywhere!"
"So…no divorce?" She looked up at him and smiled.
"Yep…no divorce, never was going to anyways. Just wanted to kick your butt into gear to see it. Now I have it over Sasuke's and Naruto's head!"
A/N: Just something I was playing around with, thought it was kind of amusing to write.