A/N: As you'll probably be able to tell, this happens quite a bit after the ending of the episode Three Hundred Big Boys. R&Rs really appreciated!
A/N #2: GRRR! After putting up my story, I discovered all the dollar signs disappeared. Anyways, you can probably tell which numbers are amounts of money. Just clarifying.
The Planet Express crew were taking a break. They snacked and began to reminiscence about the time they'd gotten a 300 tax refund.
"Hey, Bender," Fry said. "Remember that cigar? You set the whole National Silk Surplus Presentation on fire with it, and then I saved everyone with my hundredth cup of coffee."
"And then we feasted on turkey dogs with the homeless," Zoidberg interjected.
Fry was surprised that Bender hadn't yet replied to his comment. He turned, and saw that Bender was reading a newspaper. Unusual. Even more unusual was the fact that almost everyone was clustered around the very same newspaper.
"15,000 Diamond Discovered in Tobacco Store," Leela read aloud.
"Hacking Jack's Fine Smokables? That's where I got the cigar!" Bender exclaimed, scanning the article. "The diamond was found in a trashcan?" he said, reading along. "What kind of idiot would chuck a diamond in a trashcan?"
"Say," Professor Farnsworth started. "Wasn't there a diamond in that set of burglar tools you used to get the cigar?"
"There was not," replied Bender indignantly. "And even if there had been a diamond, I wouldn't have dumped it in the garbage."
Amy gasped. "Look!" She pointed to a section near the end of the article and started reading. "The claw prints of Bender Bending Rodriguez, who had been arrested previously for theft and is now at large, were found on the very expensive (but not priceless) jewel!"
"I guess there was a diamond after all," Bender grumbled.
Fry started laughing uncontrollably. "You bought a 300 set of burglar tools to get a 10, 000 cigar, but threw a 15, 000 diamond away in the process!"
At that moment, there was a knock on the door.
It was URL and Smitty.
"Bender Bending Rodriguez," began Smitty, "we hereby arrest you based on no concrete evidence, just because we need to beat someone up in order to get a promotion."
The two police officers then proceeded to do exactly that, namely beat up someone. And that someone was Bender.
"Isn't this a violation of Bender's rights?" asked Professor Farnsworth. "Shouldn't you do some questioning first before hitting him?"
"Hey," replied URL, between punches, "we're paid to kick and punch, not to ask questions."
"That's the job of the other dude, the guy down at the station," added Smitty. "Speaking of which, we better get going. Wouldn't want to be late for interrogation."
Smitty and URL then dragged the protesting Bender out of the room.