Written for collarkink for the (re)prompt: established Peter/Neal, a fic about the consent issues in their relationship, where Peter thinks that Neal fully understands that he is free to refuse at any time, but "it's entirely possible that the line between what Neal wants and what he thinks it would be convenient to want gets a little blurred in his own mind... At first, Peter is reassured by the superficial yes-I-want-this chat. And Neal really does want it. But Peter also starts noticing" things that suggest otherwise.

It was Peter's idea, and it was mostly just to keep Neal busy during a slow patch.

"Write a manual. To help us understand how cons think."

"But Peter," Neal smirked, "You feds know all there is to know already. All cons are variations on a few basic scams, and all con artists are motivated by the fact that they weren't toilet trained properly."

Neal had been reading the FBI training materials, including criminal psychology textbooks, investigative manuals, and a few choice pamphlets left over from past decades on "the deviant mind." He had not stopped making fun of Peter's profession since, though he had the sense not to do it in front of anyone but Peter.

Peter answered Neal's refusal then, by saying, "Exactly. We need better materials. Write a handbook on how con artists think. Translate it to Bureau-ese if you can."

A visible sulk came over Neal's face. Peter refrained from rolling his eyes and leaned over the office chair where Neal was sitting. He kissed the side of Neal's jaw and went down the neck. Like clockwork, Neal let out a tiny moan.

Neal did his best to act reluctant as he said, "Playing dirty, Peter? I can't believe you would stoop to my level."

"Just try," Peter whispered in his ear, commanding in tone. Peter knew that Neal always responded to that.

And indeed there was that shift in Neal's body, that sign to Peter that it was working. Neal sighed and said, "Fine, but no promises. But I won't get to it until tomorrow." He smiled then with predation in his eyes as he pulled lightly on Peter's tie to bring him closer. His lips came up to meet Peter's, eager and pliant as always. As Peter's tongue ran a harsh circle in Neal's mouth, Neal made a little whimper, the little sound that Peter loved, that told Peter that it was him and him alone who could make the unflappable Neal Caffrey lose control.

Neal didn't start on the manual until the next day. But Peter had no complaints.

Neal tried three times to write the manual. The first was a plea to give the poor tireless con artists a break. It was written entirely in iambic pentameter. Peter had said, "Cute," and he meant it. He also said, "Do it again, better," and meant that too.

The second time, Neal had really tried. He struggled. Peter looked at the baskets full of crumpled up paper and asked him what was going on.

"It's not about the tricks. You guys know a lot of the tricks," Neal said.

"What then?"

"It's about how you think. How you view people... Is this really for the Bureau? Is this about you having, you know, my playbook?" Neal asked, half joking at most

Peter answered, "No. I have no doubt you'll leave out the best stuff. But this could really help."

Neal looked back at him, annoyance or something worse in his eyes. "The things I could say - they make us look bad. Like we're fake people."

Peter raised an eyebrow.

"You know what I mean. Like we're all... it just makes us look like we're messed up people. Why would you want me to write something like that?"

"Write it as flattering to crime as you want as long as you give useful information."

Neal looked away. Peter wasn't getting something, it was clear.

He ran a finger light on Neal's jaw. "I didn't realize this would be that hard for you, Neal."

"You never do."

"What do you mean?" Peter asked, trying to sound other than defensive. Trying to sound soft.

Neal shrugged. Was silent.

"Look, Neal, I have an idea. Write a manual about how to con. As if you're writing to young con artists."

Neal looked at him, surprised. "But what if the manual ever got stolen? Actual con artists can read it."

Peter smiled. "That's okay, because we'll know what they know. Besides, it'll have useful tips for agents on undercover assignments."

"Oh, so you admit that an undercover op is just a con run by someone with a badge."

Peter smiled, "Yeah. A con run by someone with a badge and a gun and backup and the legal and moral authority that comes with representing all citizens."

"Oh, I'm sorry, I fell asleep there for a minute - where you talking about the nobility of your job again?"

"Our job. The nobility of the work you do here," Peter said, serious.

Neal sighed. "Fine. A manual for conning. I'll imagine the next generation of con artists when I write it. It'll be like my gift to my community, now that I've abandoned them for a federal agent's bed."

Peter kissed him. "Good. Now speaking of bed, do you want me to come over to June's place tonight?" he said, smiling sweetly.

"Always do," Neal said and kissed Peter again, making Peter momentarily forget all the questions he was just about to ask. The ones about why Neal was afraid of writing something that would make him look bad, make him - him of all people - worry about being judged.

Neal worked on the manual all the time, even in his off hours when cases picked up again. Anyone could see that he was putting a lot into it, the way he would if forging a painting; Neal really did think of this as his gift to future con artists, it soon became apaprent. If anything, it reminded Peter of how Neal was in bed the first couple of months, with Neal insisting on giving Peter everything he liked, practicing his technique again and again so he could give Peter mind-blowing sex every time. Neal was, if anything, a perfectionist.

After about a month, he gave a copy of the manual to Peter. He looked nervous. Peter promised to read it over that night.

It was long, even though it didn't contain many actual examples of cons. It was mostly about... well, a philosophy of the con, mixed with strategies about how to adapt to various situations.

People assume that con artists think everyone else is stupid. But if you want anyone to believe you, you have to keep in mind that people are smart. They can sense lies better than you think they can, which is why you have to be able to become the person you're claiming to be. It's not enough to pretend. If you're portraying the kind of person who is attracted to your mark, for example, you had better find something about that mark to be attracted to, or you're leaving empty-handed in more ways than one.

Peter frowned. He didn't know why - he knew that Neal had seduced as part of a con before - but he knew and trusted Neal well enough that he knew their relationship wasn't a con.

A later section dealt with making people happy.

Almost everyone assumes that there's a psychological need to please that motivate a con artist, sometimes more than the payoff. It's the idea that the ridiculous desire for the approval of others, or their adoration even, is what makes us do it. That may be true, or it may not be, but it's not ridiculous, and it's not silly. If you run cons, you are constantly in danger of arrest or worse, because you are invariably pissing someone off. If your mark trusts you as a 'business partner,' that's great, but if they like the way you cook pasta for them, the way you kiss, the way you tell jokes, whatever - these are the things that will make them like you enough to ask you about it if they start to have doubts. That's what will give you a heads-up if it goes south; that's what gives you a chance to get out. And if things go bad, that's what will stop them from calling the police right away, and give you a chance to run or stall. And if you're dealing with those types I warned you about in Section A - and sometimes you don't know until it's too late - it matters a lot if they like you. If you make them happy. How good you are at making them feel happy, powerful, sexy - that's what will give you an extra few seconds to talk your way out of it when they decide they want to shoot you in the head.

It's not silly. Con artists aren't children who need approval. In our line of work, being adored is a thin layer of armor, but it's the only one we get. Make people happy - your marks, your colleagues, everyone - unless there's a reason to draw a line: if they're dangerous enough that leading them on would be worse, if they're useless, or if they're just too appalling to pretend to like.

And never leave anyone mad if you can help it. Because you never know if the next time you see that person, everything will have changed. Always remember: the next time you see someone, your life or freedom might very well depend on if they're in the mood to do you a favor.

Peter frowned again. For some reason he thought of Pierce, of Neal's relief when he came through the door right before Neal was about to be shot. He knew that this wasn't the same. He knew that Neal wasn't worried that their spat would affect whether Peter would help him.

Though it did make Peter consider that maybe Neal really did run for just a moment longer than he would have.

Just a moment though.

But that's not what Neal was talking about anyway. It had nothing to do with that.

Peter went back to the manual.

People in authority are not that different than others. But almost always, they are people who like being in authority, who like having power but also who like being thought of as having the judgment to use that power. This isn't a bad thing; as Section 5 says, abusive authorities are the worst nightmare of the nonviolent criminal, since we have little recourse, but many of those in authority are decent through and through. And by many I mean some.

Recall that it's not just legal authorities; it's also people given positions of authority in tight-knit social circles (i.e., your crew for a job), it could be your 'boss' if you are using a workplace to run your con, or it could be someone with power in a criminal organization. Remember that what they want from you is to be eager to please, good at what you say you can do, and totally accepting of the fact that their opinion of you is what matters. It's hard to swallow, since most of us get into the con precisely so we don't have to do this stuff - i.e., suffer the same indignities as people with regular jobs. But for a con artist, it's actually even more important.

Again, some things can't be faked, not if the person you're dealing with is smart. Just tell yourself that this person's opinion matters so much to you, that the idea of failing them or making them regret bringing you into their fold is the worst feeling you could possibly have. Use your natural fear of rejection (everyone has it) to tell yourself that this person is the center of your world. Then act like you're trying to hide it, so they don't think you're crazy or faking. It usually makes people want to keep you around, and again,in a con, you WILL come upon moments where your life will change based on the tiniest difference in someone's feelings toward you, in the tiniest detail someone uses to determine if you're worth the risk. The bad part is, if that person actually does get mad at or reject or accuse you, it feels like you've been suckerpunched. But you don't get to be a great artist without taking emotional risks.

Peter tried to snort at the pretentiousness of the last statement, wondering if Neal meant it tongue-in-cheek or not. But he was preoccupied by other thoughts as well.

Peter had assumed Neal was worried that Peter might read this and think that Neal was playing him, that Peter might accuse Neal of sleeping with him to manipulate him. But the more Peter read, the more Peter realized how much fear was part of Neal's basic thought process. Fear of jail, fear of being killed, fear of losing what he had.

Here's the thing about dealing with people who have power over you (which in this game, is usually most of the players). Sex is part of it. Sex and power go together, and there's no way around it, so don't obsess over it, worry, etc. Be safe - and be careful! - and don't sleep with anyone who's going to turn it into an excuse to make you their convenience fuck. That's more trouble than it's worth. And don't sleep with people you hate (unless you're into that). But otherwise, think seriously before you turn someone down. Because if your first response to a grope or a kiss is "wait, what's going on, I don't like this person," instead of "oh what does this person want, what should I do for this person," you're probably in the wrong field. Again, if you're not genuinely thinking about how you can make people feel special and admired and in control, then you're never going to be more than a mediocre con artist. Remember how much it hurts to be rejected by someone you're attracted to? Never make someone feel like that without a good reason. And no matter how nice someone seems, no one is a saint. No one is going to be totally unaffected by rejection, whether it's a rejection of an opening move, or a rejection of an offer from a long-term partner. But like I said, if you spend a lot of time thinking about what you do or don't want, you're missing the point. Sex is not just about fun. It's about proving your worth. This sounds cynical or wrong, but it is a fact. Everything you do, think, or feel, needs to be centered around demonstrating your value. Remember that that perception of your value will at some point make all the difference.

Peter felt a wave of concern. He repeated to himself what he knew. Neal loved him. He loved Neal. He had told Neal repeatedly that their relationship wouldn't change their relationship one iota - if he screwed up, he went to jail; if he helped solve cases, he would stay out. Neal accepted that. So there was no reason why Neal would think he needed to demonstrate his value at a personal level.

And yet, Peter had to steel himself to keep reading into the next section.

Whether the relationship is personal or professional, always be low-maintenance. I know this seems to go against what I said earlier, about people actually liking you more if they've already helped you out with something before. But to be low-maintenance you have to seem like you're always happy to see them, that you'd never rather just be alone. Their presence is a gift, always. And if you don't believe it yourself, they never will.

Let me explain. Don't be a kissass. No one likes that. So you can argue that you'd rather watch an old movie than a basketball game, or go to a gallery rather than the gym. But you don't ever say that you can't hang out at the bar because you'd rather talk to them about the fact that their jokes make you feel small. You don't get to cry about your feelings unless they're the type that loves to comfort; you can tell someone you want something from them, but you can't say that you need time to figure out what you want. On the personal side of things, you don't get to say you'd rather go to sleep than have sex; no matter how much they want it, you always want it more. And you can argue about which new thing you want to try in bed first, but you actually do eventually have to say yes to anything they want that's safe, and you have to learn to like it. The second part is key.

Peter fumed silently. It hit pretty close to home, and he wasn't even mad at Neal at this point. He was mad at himself for not seeing it.

But still, he was sort of angry at Neal. For turning him into the kind of person who uses his power to ...

Peter sighed. He repeated. He loved Neal. Neal loved him. They would figure it out.

I know it seems like a lot. Always focusing on your target. Getting the balance right. But you can't just say that you don't need them, or care what they think. Con artists have the world before them, they have opportunities that other can't even see, much less take advantage of. There are countless possiblities for a con artist. The flip side of that is that a lot of those possibilites could end badly for you. You're gambling with high stakes every minute: with every word, every expression of your body language, with every tiny gesture, you are building your pot of goodwill and trust and worth. Always remember that this is not just for pretend: the value of your life or death might well depend on whether someone is, in a particular moment, inclined to listed to you, to do you a favor...

Con artists' strength are their adaptability, their ability to work from more than one playbook at a time. That's our genius. But that also means that there WILL come a time, probably multiple times, probably constantly if you're any good, when when what you've done is in a gray area. That means that your well-being could depend on the person who gets to decide where that line falls, who gets to decide if you're on the right side or the wrong side of whatever line matters at the moment. You will never survive a con if you don't know who gets to draw that line. That person may not seem like it, but they are your top priority. They may be the most upstanding people you've ever met, but make no mistake. They own you.

Peter stares at the manual. He doesn't finish reading. He just thinks and remembers and thinks some more.

When he finally goes to June's place, Neal looks afraid.

Peter tries not to look crushed as he wonders how often Neal has been afraid of him.

"Peter, you asked me to do a manual. You asked me to be honest in it. You demanded it."

"I know," Peter said quietly, staring at Neal's face as if looking could make it any more readable.

"Peter," Neal said, "The tricks in there... they're just variations on the same things everyone use. At their jobs, when dating someone - they're just more extreme."

"I'm not mad. I'm just sorry I didn't realize what it was like for you," Peter said quickly. He was sorry, even though it wasn't entirely true tht he wasn't mad. But Peter somehow didn't find Neal's eagerness to prove himself quite so comforting.

"Peter. You have to listen to me." Neal was willing him now to believe, and his eyes moistened as he practically pleaded. "I love you, Peter. I mean it, and I have meant it every time I have said it. And if you think I don't-"

"I believe you," Peter said. And he did.

"What we have is real," Neal assured him.

Peter smiled at him. But the smile was sad. "I love you. You love me. That's real. You don't have to convince me, I know it."

Neal looked relieved and joyful and almost weightless as he leaned toward Peter for a kiss.

Peter's hand stopped him, a palm at his chest like a stone.

"Neal, I love you and you love me. But we need to talk."

(end)