This is my new story, hopefully goes good and you enjoy it. Maybe this one won't be deleted like all my other ones.
Disclaimer: If I owned LOTR Arwen wouldn't be there, Gimli would rock the boat, and Elrond would be a hippy. Since none of this is true, I don't. It all belongs to Tolkien, who is long since dead. I only own Dr. Gwen, all here quirks, and my other random friends who come in. May Tolkien pass your house on his rampage of death.
Life Therapy with Gwen
"Hello, Welcome to Sunshine Therapy group! I'm Doctor Gwen, I'll be you therapist today! Please feel free to call me Gwen, or Doc." I said entering my office.
Needless to say I was slightly shocked at the sight of my new patient. He was a tall, rather charming elf. I knew from previous experience his name was Haldir. I wonder what kind of issues would drive a nice guy like him to see me, let alone pick me as his therapist. I'm not exactly "normal". I have my issues which I gracefully avoid by dancing around them and fixing other peoples issues.
"Please, have a seat." I said looking up at the elf.
"Uh…which seat?" He answered looking rather puzzled and fearful.
"Which ever one you would like." I replied politely.
"Why are you putting such a major decision on me???? I only came here for help!" He squeaked out, promptly busting into tears.
I shook my head. "How about the nice, soft, green chair over there?" I asked him.
He nodded and made his way over to the chair. I quickly made a note on my pad saying he feared choices, being a people pleaser. I seated myself in my favorite leather chair right across from him and waited for him to start. I avoided staring at him out of fear of him having another outburst. I wanted him to be comfortable and put on my "happy therapist" face. Really, this guy was going to be worse then that bipolar squirrel I had see me last week. This might take some tough love to fix.
"So, Haldir, why have you decided to come see me today?" I asked.
"Well, I've got a strange fear of……." He faded away, not finishing his sentence.
"Of what sweetie?" I asked gently.
"It's dumb; you'll just laugh at me!" He blubbered, almost in tears again.
"No, I won't. I'm here to try to help you. I want you to want to get better, but for that to happen you need to realize you WANT help. Admitting the problem is the first step."
"I'm deathly af-fr-aid of-fffff…" He stuttered.
"Go ahead." I gently prompted him.
This seemed to have little affect on him. He just sat there and stared at me. His eyes were rimmed red and brimming with tears. He had huge eyes, like a puppy that had just been kicked by a horrible owner. This was a lot melodramatic for me. What a baby, seriously it is not the end of the world. I was very tired of him acting like a five year old who had wet his pants and now was scared to tell him mother. Naturally, I had to take action. I promptly backhanded him.
"SPIT IT OUT FOR GOODNESS SAKE! I DON'T HAVE ALL DAY TO WASTE ON YOU TRYING TO SAY ONE WORD!" I screamed at him.
"SNOWMEN!" He screamed back, and then shrunk down into a little ball.
I blinked. "Snowmen?" I asked, just to be sure I heard him correctly.
"Mhmm." He nodded.
"Well is it of the snow, or the snow made up like a person?" I asked him.
"I'm perfectly fine with the snow, but when it's made into huge balls it freaks me out. Those eyes, staring at me!" He replied fearfully.
"Coal, rock, or button eyes?" I asked.
"Coal." He answered, shuddering.
"Do you think that this could perhaps be caused by a childhood event that caused you to fear eyes, or huge balls of snow in general?" I replied.
He nodded, then spoke. "Well this one time at band camp…."
"You were tragically raped by a demonic penguin, dressed up like a huge ball that had black eyes?" I answered.
"How did you know?" he asked shocked.
I smiled. "I'm all knowing dear." I stated while tapping my forehead. "See I think the issue here is really bigger then this penguin raping you. I think there is a deeper issue that causes this."
"I was baked into a giant fruit cake by my aunt Frank once." He replied.
"Did it have nuts?" I asked.
"Yes," He sobbed. "Huge nuts!!!!!!!!"
"That must have been terrifying." I supplied while nodding sympathetically.
"After that all the pretty pink ponies wouldn't play with me anymore! They said I couldn't see the rainbow anymore!" He exploded. "Oh, but I could! I saw it bright as ever! They left me all alone in the fig forest, and then the penguin rapped me!"
"Tragic!" I stated dramatically, turning up the music to set the mood.
"After that I was never the same again. I can't even go on myspace without being ambushed by other Haldir's who don't speak English!" He cried. "I just want to know what they mean! Its worse then the 1000 voices in my head speaking panda; and I only know monkey!"
"AH HA!" I exclaimed. "There is the problem!"
"Where?" He asked while looking all over his body like it was written somewhere.
"The Haldir's attacking you!" I bellowed.
"THEY HAVE NO MERCY! THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND MY SEXUAL NEEDS! I ONLY WANT A PERKY PINK STARWBERRY SCENTED SHEEP TO PLAY BUTT DARTS WITH ME!" He screamed. "Is that too much to ask for?" He finished sobbing
"GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF!!" I shot back whacking him on top of the head with my clipboard.
"You hit me! I'm telling my mommy on you!" He answered childishly.
"HEY! Cram it!" I replied. "Now I think what you have is a severe case of stuffed animalistis. I'm going to write you a prescription."
"You can get that?" He asked somberly.
"Yes, you can." I replied, sighing. "You most likely got it after that stick bug gave you a yeast infection after he crawled through rotten apples then down your pants."
"NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He screamed.
"Yes, I know about that. I also know about your fantasies of Gimli being a pole dancer in a pink see-through mini dress and you sticking money in his fuzzy g-string. Then you two running off to the outhouse on the corner of west and peach and making sweet love all night long!" I shot back.
"No, that's not me!" He answered blushing.
"Yes it is; I also know what you did to Santa last summer." I replied. "But I'm going to give you a prescription for 500mg of Levitra. I'll give you a 2 month supply, and then I'd like to see you again to re-evaluate you. Make sure you take your pill everyday!"
"Oh thank you so much Doc! I feel so much better!" He replied happily.
"Just doing my job! See you in 2 months Haldir!" I answered, watching him happily skip out.
Wow, what a disturbing secession. I quickly made notes and snapped my clipboard shut. I couldn't resist a quick giggle as I faxed his prescription to the pharmacy he used. I hoped that I had helped him. I just wasn't sure if I was ready for my next patient of the day, Gimli.