This plot bunny would not leave me alone. It took over my body and made me write this. Read and review, please!
Disclaimer: If I did own Bleach, don't you think I would have announced it to the world already?
Chad was always the quiet kind, but that was an advantage. He noticed more things that way.
He noticed that Orihime had a crush on Ichigo. And not just any crush. It was a major crush. No, he decided. She was in love with Ichigo.
He also noticed that Ichigo had a crush on Orihime. And not just any crush. It was a major crush. No, he decided. He was in love with Orihime. He just didn't know it yet.
So Chad, being Ichigo's best friend, took it upon himself to protect Ichigo's best interests. The tall teenager knew that Ichigo and Orihime were perfect for each other. So until Ichigo grew a brain or Orihime became brave enough to confess, it was up to Chad to keep both of them single.
Chad didn't have to worry about Ichigo getting a girlfriend. His scowl scared all the girls away. Well, all the girls except for Orihime.
Now, keeping the guys away from Orihime was more difficult. She was (sometimes) dense, and would even accept a date from someone and not even know it was a date. But Chad had a strategy. Whenever a guy would approach Orihime with the intent of asking her out, he would stand behind Orihime and glare at the guy trying to wreck Ichigo's life until the poor guy stammered out an apology and ran away. Orihime, of course, had no idea what was going on. She simply assumed the guy remembered he had left the oven on or realized that mutated super-monkeys were about to attack.
However, there was one suitor that Chad could not scare away.
Ishida Uryuu.
Since he was friends with Chad, the giant didn't scare him. He would walk up to Orihime and casually start talking to her. And nothing Chad did could tear him away. For a while, it seemed hopeless. Then, Chad made a breakthrough.
Ichigo had invited Orihime, Tatsuki, Chad, and Uryuu over to his house one Saturday. As usual, Uryuu made a beeline for Orihime. Chad's hand closed around a pillow and WHAM! He pushed the pillow in the Quincy's face, smothering him. Uryuu backed off, but a few minutes later, tried it again. And again, Chad flung the pillow in his face. This baffled the other teens, who couldn't understand why Chad would try to smother Uryuu. After five more attempts, Uryuu gave up and left Orihime alone. Although no one said anything, they each were thinking that maybe Chad had a crush on Orihime. That, of course, wasn't the reason. But Chad didn't want to say anything, so he kept quiet.
Thirty minutes later, Chad went downstairs with Ichigo to get some drinks and snacks. While there, Ichigo asked why Chad was attempting to kill Uryuu. The Mexican said nothing, which wasn't really unusual. Ichigo laughed, thinking that maybe Chad didn't have a reason except for the fact that Uryuu was a Quincy and hated Soul Reapers. "Yeah," Ichigo spoke, "I hate the Quincy, too. Thanks, Chad." He slapped him on the back, picked up the bowl of chips, and walked off.
Chad stood there for a few seconds. "...You're welcome, Ichigo."
The orange-haired boy was clueless through and through. Chad knew that if Ichigo didn't have his help, Ichigo would never get his happy ending.
Boy, did Chad feel like a fairy godmother.