"That's odd," said Jiraiya as he scratched his head. "I don't think it lifted properly."

"What didn't lift properly?" asked Naruto in confusion.

"The seal that Orochimaru placed on you… it destabilised your chakra network by completely locking you out of the Kyuubi's chakra. Without realising it, you grew to become dependent on its influence which always lurked at the back of your reserves, but it seems to have disrupted even your regular chakra," said the pervert as he scratched the stubble growing on his chin thoughtfully.

"So that's why I couldn't walk on water, earlier?" asked Naruto in confusion.

"Probably but you look like the type of person whose chakra control is so shocking that I wouldn't have expected you to be able to do it anyway," shrugged Jiraiya, uncaring for the blond's feelings. There was nothing wrong with a little brutal honesty.

"What do you know about chakra control?" exclaimed Naruto. "You're just an old man!"

Jiraiya rolled his eyes and sighed. "Hold still, let me try this one more time."

"You want me to let you stab me with that weird mystic firey thing again, even though it didn't work the first time?" asked Naruto as he squinted his eyelids sceptically. "Why should I trust you?"

Jiraiya didn't provide an answer. His hands blurred into motion, blue fire protruding from each fingertip as he yanked up Naruto's shirt and pressed the tip of each digit onto Naruto's seal. "Gogyo Kaiin!"

Naruto yelped in pain but there was no other indication that Jiraiya had done anything other than tap him with each of his five fingertips. Jiraiya eyed the seal carefully before grumbling to himself when he noticed that Orochimaru's handiwork hadn't receded in the slightest.

"Alright, you're coming with me brat," said Jiraiya as he grabbed Naruto by the back of his orange jumpsuit and pulled him along with him.

"Wait, why?" asked Naruto. "What about my training? How am I going to beat that jerk Neji if you don't help me? You already knocked out that stupid other pervert!"

"If you hadn't shown me that wonderful jutsu of yours, I would have gagged you by this point," said Jiraiya. "I'm a member of the Sannin so shut up and show me some respect."

"Not until you tell me where we're going!"

"I'll tell you if you transform again, how about that?"

"No way, you're a disgusting, old pervert. Why would I let you ogle me?"

The bickering continued for a few minutes before Jiraiya finally pulled up beside a familiar building.

"Hey, what are we doing at the old man's place?" asked Naruto. "All that's inside are a bunch of offices and a lot of paperwork."

Jiraiya was tempted to ignore him. "Would you even listen if I told you why?"

"I don't know why you're dragging me into my future office, but I'll definitely find out when jiji sees what a big, fat pervert you are," reasoned Naruto. There was a niggling feeling at the back of his head that he should return to his training but he didn't have a conscious instructor at the moment. Maybe he'd be able to ask the old man for some help.

"You call him gramps but you don't even know what he keeps in his drawer, do you?" asked Jiraiya with a shake of his head. "I guess you'll find out when you're older."

Having dragged the blond through the foyer, Jiraiya rapped loudly on the Hokage's large, oak door with his knuckles.

"Come in," a voice from inside called before spluttering into a cough.

Jiraiya thrust the door open and pushed the Jinchuuriki in front of him.

"Ah, Jiraiya, I see you've opted for the proper entrance this time," remarked Sarutobi as he smiled at his former student.

"I didn't want to put myself through the pain of having to drag this loudmouth up through the window," said Jiraiya, gesturing to the blond, still holding the scruff of his collar in his hand.

"I see you've had the pleasure of being acquainted with young Naruto here," said Sarutobi as he raised an eyebrow. "Now what can I do for you two today?"

"This weirdo kidnapped m-"

"Orochimaru seems to have placed a seal on top of Naruto's own one. I initially thought it was a standard Gogyo Fuin but I wasn't able to remove it. And I tried twice."

"That sounds most peculiar," said Sarutobi after taking the time to exhale a puff of smoke. "Tell me what you remember of the incident, Naruto."

"Well Kakashi left me with Ebisu, who I used to think was the biggest pervert on the planet until I met this guy who kno-"

"Not your meeting with Jiraiya, over here. I'm afraid that despite his shortcomings, he is one of my most trusted ninja," said Sarutobi with a grandfatherly smile. "Explain to me how you got the seal in the first place."

Naruto lifted his shirt up to expose his belly. He stared at it blankly for a moment before realising that he needed to channel his chakra to show the handiwork of the Fourth Hokage - which had apparently been tampered with. "Well, these weird marks on the edge started to show up after that freaky snake stabbed me with the same jutsu as ero-sennin, over here. And ever since, I haven't really ever been able to use my chakra that well."

"From the sounds of it, like I was trying to tell you before, he's cut you off from the Kyuubi's chakra. You're not used to it because it's a potent presence that has been embedded deeply within your coils since the moment they were formed," explained Jiraiya, both to Sarutobi and the genin in front of him. "What I do want to find out, however, is if he's done any damage to your regular chakra as well."

"One would certainly hope not," said Sarutobi as he motioned for Naruto come over to him. He placed a comforting hand on the young boy's shoulder. "I know this seems like a tough and scary situation, with Sasuke being bitten by Orochimaru and now you being unable to tap into your chakra, but keep strong."

"Any Hokage worth his salt wouldn't give a rat's arse about the Kyuubi's chakra," said Naruto with a grin. "I don't care what it takes, I'm going to beat Neji senseless."

"Good," said Sarutobi with a curt nod, "because I'm assigning Jiraiya to you to help you adapt to surviving, at least in the short term, without the Kyuubi's influence. He may not look it but he is one of the world's greatest sealmasters so believe me when I say you will want him by your side."

"Seriously?" whined Jiraiya. "I just got back in town, why do I have to be stuck on babysitting duty?"

"You can call it payback for letting our trip to the hotsprings slip to Tsunade all those years ago," said the Hokage with a chuckle. "I'll brush up on my sealing quickly and attempt to remove it myself later tonight… just in case the problem's on your end and not Naruto's."

"I bet jiji can do it. To be the Hokage, you've got to be the baddest, most powerful ninja around!"

…

"So you're matched up against a former Rookie of the Year," said Jiraiya as he tried to get the task ahead of him straight. "The top of one class versus the bottom of another, then."

Naruto had the decency to feel embarrassed as his cheeks flushed red. "I don't care what anyone says, I can take him!"

"You're not wrong," said Jiraiya, plopping down onto the grass of the small clearing he had led Naruto to. "The title of dead last means very little in the real world. You only graduated a few months ago so it still haunts you a little but becoming a ninja has opened up a new path for you, an opportunity to start anew."

"If you mean becoming all angsty like Sasuke, then you can forget that," said Naruto as he shook his head venomously.

"No," said Jiraiya with a grin. "I'm just saying that you kids have limitless potential and you shouldn't let some stupid title hold you back. If it helps, I graduated from the academy as the dead last."

"Really?" Naruto perked up. "Wait, does this mean that I'll become a pervert when I grow up?"

"Alright, I think that's enough joking around for now," said Jiraiya as he cracked his knuckles. "Let's get down to business. You're taking down a Hyuuga, right?"

"Yeah, apparently he's some kinda hotshot but we'll see what he says when I break his face in with a couple hundred Shadow Clones. I beat a chunin like that, so he doesn't stand a chance."

"A couple hundred Shadow Clones?" Jiraiya raised an eyebrow. "That's pretty impressive, even with the Kyuubi's power backing you. I wonder if you'll be able to make anywhere near that much at the moment?"

"Of course I will," Naruto huffed out his cheeks. "I beat Kiba using Shadow Clones so I can still definitely make them without that stupid fox in my gut."

"Try it then," said Jiraiya, taking a page from Kakashi's book and flipping through one of his own novels. "Make as many Shadow Clones as you possibly can. Well, without dying, at least."

"Alright, watch this old man," said Naruto as he formed his favourite hand seal. "Kage Bunshin!"

With a mighty puff of smoke, ten exact duplicates of the blond appeared behind him. Naruto, however, wasn't impressed by the fact that they shared his whiskers or also had what looked like the first few hints of facial hair.

"What?" he exclaimed. "How is this possible? I could have sworn I pumped enough chakra in to make almost a thousand!"

"Like I predicted, your chakra system is messed up because of the seal," said Jiraiya. "Since the Five Elements Unseal technique didn't work, I'll have to try and play around with it manually but it looks like - for now, at least - you're no longer the chakra battery you used to be."

"How do you know so much about me?" asked Naruto, becoming a little suspicious. "I've never seen you before in my life."

"Well to make a long story short, I was the Yondaime's teacher. Obviously, it followed that I needed to keep an eye on his final gift to the world - and also make sure the Kyuubi would never escape - so I occasionally followed your progress whenever I was in town," said Jiraiya, trying to walk the delicate tightrope between saying too little and saying too much.

"So all I am is the set of iron bars that holds the Kyuubi back from the rest of the world… and I can't even use that to my advantage right now," said Naruto with a sigh.

"Well, hey kid, ten Shadow Clones is still pretty damn good - especially for someone your age. And that's not even really probing at the depths of your chakra coils, it's being limited by that seal interfering," said Jiraiya. "But enough chit-chat, I need to get you into fighting shape for the Chunin Exams if the Hokage is going to fund… errr the background research component… for my latest novel, so you better not disappoint."

"I'm not planning to," said Naruto as he stood up a little taller. "Well if I can't really use my chakra, I guess we better start with taijutsu because genjutsu is really hard."

"I hear ya," chuckled Jiraiya, recalling his own troubles with genjutsu as a genin. "As far as taijutsu goes… you might as well forget ever besting a Hyuuga in hand-to-hand combat, but if you're interested there are a few ways to counter their Gentle Fist."

"Gentle Fist?" asked Naruto, scratching his head.

"Basically their style of taijutsu, they use their 'all-seeing' Byakugan eyes to target the weak spots in your body to effectively disable either your bodily functions or chakra network," said Jiraiya. "Most people try to engage with them from long range, and this can work on their rookies, but the more experienced Hyuuga can access a powerful shield that lets them shrug off almost anything."

"This sounds like it might be a… little difficult," said Naruto, trying to process all of the Sanin's information.

"It's a lot to absorb and you're not exactly a sponge but if you know your enemy, you already have a substantial advantage. If I know the Hyuuga, they're arrogant and so you can probably assume that he's going to underestimate you."

"So how do we beat their gentle palm or whatever?" yawned Naruto, eager to get to the good bit.

"Well, they say an over reliance on anything is bad and the one thing every Hyuuga is dependent on is their eyes. They're all about precision so if you blind and disorientate him, you could be in with a fighting chance after all," said Jiraiya.

"So is that all I really need to do? Bring something really bright along?" asked Naruto.

"No, of course not," said Jiraiya. "That'll just be a small hinderance to him but if you can get him worked up, he will slip and then you can strike."

"So I do need to work on my combat, then?" asked Naruto as he rubbed his head. "Grrr… this is all so confusing."

"Alright, I'll skip the explanation since I can see that I'm wasting my breath," said Jiraiya. "We'll work on the blinding bit later on but for now, I want to see your hand-to-hand skills. Since Neji and I are probably both better than you in that department, we're going to work on your evasion."

"So don't get hit, got it," said Naruto, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he settled into a ready stance.

Jiraiya stood up, drawing a kunai, with a grin on his face. "And I think to give you a little bit of extra incentive, every blow I land on you is another five minutes that you spend giving me a backrub. In your more 'blonde' form, of course."

…

When Sarutobi heard moaning and other such odd noises coming from inside Jiraiya's apartment, he was tempted to turn around and return to his office. He didn't, however, expect to see a familiar blonde sitting on his back and massaging his shoulders.

"Well, this certainly is strange," he said, eyeing the female Naruto's tattered jumpsuit.

Jiraiya turned his head towards his surrogate father with a wide grin on his face. "It turns out he brat's no good at dodging but I think I've got some good material for my next chapter."

Naruto promptly jumped off Jiraiya's back and released the jutsu, his face a little red as he gingerly rubbed his shoulder. "It turns out he's not that bad at fighting for a pervert."

"I won't comment," said Sarutobi as he shook his head. "Anyway, I think I better have a shot at removing Orochimaru's seal. I'm by no means better than Jiraiya when it comes to dealing with seals but we must try."

"Fair enough," said Naruto, as he lifted his shirt to expose his belly. Fighting Neji in this state now that he knew his chakra was actually all screwed up was not something he entirely wanted to do.

"This might hurt a bit," said Sarutobi before running through hand seals. "Gogyo Kaiin!"

Blue flames surrounded his right hand, dancing around his fingertips, as he thrust it onto Naruto's visibly exposed seal. Naruto grunted in pain, noting that the old man's jutsu hurt a lot more than Jiraiya's.

Jiraiya made his way over to the blond, inspecting his belly once more as he traced along his seal with his index finger. "No dice, it looks like it was completely ineffective."

"I wonder if the Gogyo Fuin is completely cosmetic and our dear Orochimaru actually branded Naruto here with something more sinister," said Sarutobi, taking a puff of his pipe.

"Well, I wouldn't put it past him," said Jiraiya with a scowl. "I can't believe he's causing trouble again, after all these years."

"Wait, you've got history with that weird guy?" asked Naruto in surprise. Jiraiya was a little creepy but in a harmless, almost friendly way. The guy who had bitten Sasuke was anything but friendly… or harmless.

"Despite its status as the greatest hidden village, Konoha remains a small place," said Jiraiya, sighing to himself. "Orochimaru is perhaps the village's most famous traitor because he was one of the front-runners to become the Fourth Hokage… and also, because he was my teammate. The disgraced and most infamous member of the Sannin."

"Jeez, you're the real deal, aren't you?" asked Naruto. "Next, you'll be telling me the Shodaime's your dad."

"Not quite, that's Tsunade's grandfather," grimaced Jiraiya. He hadn't run into his teammate in years and the memory of their last encounter brought up painful memories.

"Wait, so you're telling me all the strongest most badass ninja in Konoha are connected somehow?" asked Naruto, groaning as he received a shrug from the world's only super pervert. "How am I meant to become Hokage when I'm not in this special circle?"

Jiraiya and Sarutobi shared a knowing look.

"Well if you really want to believe in superstitious rubbish, the Yondaime was an orphan too. His only link into this so called circle was the fact that I trained him," said Jiraiya. "I don't think anyone really reads into that stuff too much, though."

"Whatever," yawned Naruto, although inwardly he was quite amazed that his situation wasn't dissimilar to that of his idol's. "So how do I fix my chakra?"

Sarutobi's smile faltered. "Of that I am unsure. Jiraiya?"

"I'll take a look at the seal work and see if I can weaken it somewhat but for now, I'm afraid you're going to have to approach the next stage of the exams like any regular genin," said Jiraiya with a sympathetic look about his face. "Well, except for the fact that you have the world's greatest super pervert teaching you how to be a kick-ass ninja."

"Like that'll help," scoffed Naruto. "Why can't you help me find a proper teacher, jiji?"

"I know he can be a little eccentric, Naruto," chided Sarutobi, "but just now even you were impressed with all that Jiraiya has accomplished. Believe me when I say that the only one in this entire village who could possibly make for a better teacher is Kakashi."

"He just reads his stupid orange books the whole time," protested Naruto. "How am I going to defeat anyone if this pervert does the same thing?"

"Watch your tongue brat," said Jiraiya. "Those orange books are works of art - masterpieces crafted over the course of several years - so I won't have you insult them. And besides, didn't I teach you a thing or two about dodging earlier today?"

Naruto rubbed his bottom thoughtfully. "I guess so."

...

"I'm not sure if you're fast enough to rely solely on your ability to evade your opponent's attacks," said Jiraiya the next morning. They had returned to the same clearing as the day before. "Luckily for you, speed is something that can be trained. Still, I'm not prepared to devote the entire month to just training that so we'll have to roll with the punches and figure something else out."

"So you mean that I had to give you a backrub for nothing?" asked Naruto in disgust.

"I wouldn't say for nothing," said Jiraiya with a sheepish grin. "You learned a valuable lesson."

"That you're a lecherous pervert?"

"How many times do I have to tell you that I'm a super pervert?" exclaimed Jiraiya before shaking his head. "Anyway, I figured that it is probably better to work on your strengths instead of your weaknesses first. Your strengths being all the ninjutsu you can throw around and your weaknesses being everything else."

"I can't do anything with my chakra all screwed up, though," frowned Naruto. "Didn't you say you were going to fix that ero-sennin?"

"It's taken you a day to brand me with an insulting nickname so what makes you think I'm in any rush to help you out," tutted Jiraiya. "In all seriousness though, I'm not a miracle worker. It's going to take at least a few days for me to even get close to improving your little seal problem. And that's not even taking into account how long it's going to take for me to properly remove whatever Orochimaru's planted on you."

"So then how are we going to work on my ninjutsu if most of my chakra is sealed off?"

"You're going to work on your control for starters. Hopefully, that'll allow you to use more of your chakra without me even intervening," said Jiraiya. "Since, in essence, you currently have less chakra, it'll be easier for you to improve your chakra control. And if you're lucky, you might even reap the benefits when your whole seal situation goes back to normal."

"So back to square one then?" asked Naruto before muttering something about time-wasting perverts. "Guess we better head back to the hot springs."

Jiraiya nodded. "Two things though. Firstly, you're going to use shadow clones this time. I'll let you discover why when you try it. Second, you're going to want to use that marvellous little henge of yours while you water walk. Imagine how much it'll improve your control if you learn how to walk on water while maintaining a henge!"

...

Translations:

Gogyo Kaiin = Five Elements Unseal

Gogyo Fuin = Five Elements Seal

Kage Bunshin = Shadow Clone

The scope of this chapter is just limited to Naruto but it is meant to serve as an introduction of sorts. There's much more to come.