Worth It
A/N~ ...I'm not sure what to put here, so have a quote by Markiplier - "Why always me you COCK?!" Markiplier playing Chuchel.
The first few paragraphs were written sometime last year, and I only recently finished it so I could show it to the one who dragged me into FNAF hell. I succeeded in breaking them and making them laugh till they cried. I need nothing else from life anymore, I am a fucking god now.
NOTICE! These events take place in an AU similar to 'A Marriage of Convenience' but Jack and Hal are the same age. This also takes place pre-novels of the FNAF series. So kind of an AU of an AU. Hah. Enjoy!
Human!RotG AU!
WARNING! For Pitch's sailor-mouth.
~S~
~s~s~S~s~s~
"This is a horrible idea…"
"No, this is a fantastic idea."
"Jack, I really don't think we should…"
The named young man rolled his eyes. "Come on, Hal, have a sense of adventure! You saw how hysterical it was on Youtube."
The redhead leveled Jack a deadpan look. "Reenacting things off Youtube is about as bad as reenacting Jackass."
"You're being dramatic…and that roof-shopping-cart stunt was a success!"
Hal sighed and rolled his eyes. "I don't think rolling off a roof and landing in a tree is considered 'successful'. But seriously, why are we even doing this? And why are you dragging me into it?"
"Because he trusts you~" Jack informed oh so innocently. Hal wasn't buying it.
"You just want someone to hide behind when he gets pissed…"
Jack considered the redhead's words. "I won't deny that…"
Hal muttered under his breath; something about 'needing a hobby'...or new friends. Same thing really.
Ping!
Both looked up as the elevator pinged and opened, letting them onto their target's floor. Jack happily marched forward, Hal following at his heels.
"You know he's probably going to kick your ass, right?" he inquired.
Jack shrugged. "Eh, worth it…" he suddenly frowned and looked at Hal. "You mean kick our asses, right?"
"Sure," Hal said flippantly. Jack was about to argue, but they had already reached their intended apartment, and Hal was knocking at the door.
It opened a few seconds later, the two greeted by a sour-faced horror writer. He did not seem the least bit surprised to see them both though, his eyes flitting between them. His features softened on Hal, but he gave Jack a suspicious frown.
"Halistair, Jack…" he greeted.
"Hey Pitch," both younger men greeted. Pitch crossed his arms and stepped aside, gesturing into his apartment.
"Well, let's get this over with," he said with a sigh. Both teenagers trudged in, Jack more exuberant than Hal, who managed to resist peering into every nook and cranny like a nosy puppy. He set his messenger bag on the floor beside the couch while Pitch drifted into the kitchen.
"Would you care for a drink, Halistair?" he offered, firing up his Keurig.
"No thanks, I'm good."
"What about me?" Jack inquired with a pout.
"You still haven't paid me back for the numerous hot chocolate pods you ordered using my Amazon account, Frost." Pitch deadpanned.
Hal quirked a brow at Jack, who only smiled innocently. The redhead scoffed while Pitch eyed the two in boredom, coffee in hand.
"So, remind me again as to what it is I am doing?" he inquired.
He almost regretted asking as he took in the uncontrollable smirk Jack sent Hal's way. His godson seemed more unsure, but obviously he was not about to reveal anything.
"Right. So…" Hal leaned down and opened his bag, taking out a camera, his laptop, and a pair of rather high-quality headphones. "Simply direct us to your office, and we can get started."
Pitch almost called Hal out on his dodging his question - he was becoming too much like Samhain, and it was a frightening and proud moment to behold - but he resisted and nodded. He gestured down the hall towards his office, eyes narrowing as Jack seemed to snicker and scuttle down the hall like the imp he was.
Nothing good could come of this…
"Alright…" Pitch said slowly, "Again, what are we doing exactly?"
"Nothing special," Hal said, clicking a few things on his provided computer - whatever it was, Pitch was glad it wasn't something they had to install on his personal computer. A window was open on Hal's laptop, the audio dominated by what sounded like static and ominous music. Just off to the computer's left was the camera they brought, mounted on a tripod facing towards where the computer user would sit. Hal even had his computer's webcam activated to get a full-frontal view of whatever it is they were about to do.
Every single thing about the setup screamed 'suspicious' to Pitch, and he has to wonder what he had been thinking when he agreed to do this. He even considered trying to text Samhain to interrogate the impish man to see if he was in on it, or at least knew what was going on. It wasn't even for a school project or anything as far as he knew. It was just...something Hal and Jack wanted to do. And the only reason he had agreed was because Hal had asked.
He was going soft and it was all Samhain's fault...
"Mm-hm…" he hummed, unconvinced. But he had already agreed, and it couldn't possibly be that bad. "Alright, what do I need to do?"
Hal pulled out his rolling chair, the wheels squeaking - damn thing was getting old, and Pitch had been meaning to get a new one. "Just take a seat, and I'll walk you through it. It's pretty easy."
"VERY easy…" Jack parroted excitedly.
Still HIGHLY suspicious, Pitch took the offered seat, both Hal and Jack taking spare chairs to either side of him.
Pitch blinked at the open window of what he presumed was the game they wanted him to play. It seemed rather low-res, with a rather standard white font, static, and... was that supposed to be a bear?
"Five Nights at Freddy's…? That sounds familiar," he noted, quirking a brow as Hal adjusted the tripod mounted camera, a badly restrained smile breaking over his mouth. "And why exactly do we need two cameras?"
"Don't you trust us?" Jack asked in a very untrustworthy tone.
"Halistair I trust. You, on the other hand - I wouldn't leave you in a room alone with a goldfish for more than three minutes," Pitch stated.
Jack scowled, Hal chuckling on Pitch's other side.
"Meanie…" Jack grumbled. Hal simply handed Pitch the headphones, of which Pitch reluctantly took, levelling the screen a hard glare.
"I swear to god, if this is anything like that ridiculous 'scary maze' computer prank…"
"It's not. It's not even a prank, it's just a game," Hal said. He suddenly looked thoughtful. "Well, just a game to me. To others… Well, anyways. So! You can't move in this game; it's completely stationary. You look around using your mouse, and click the interactive items the same way. You can only interact with the door lights, the door switches, and the security camera tablet. There are Easter Eggs, but we can get to those next time."
"Easter Eggs…?" Pitch muttered, slightly confused. He was an author, horror-writer and ex-Navy officer, he didn't know shit about games or game-lingo, sue him.
"Alright then…" He put on the headphones and placed his hand over the wireless mouse hooked up to Hal's laptop. Thankfully he could still hear Hal and Jack for instructions, and the sound of the game menu was...eerily heightened.
"Alright, just click new game, and we'll get going!" Jack said excitedly.
''Innocent' should never be used to describe the white-haired little imp…'
New game started, Pitch again blinked in bewilderment at what he assumed was...either a very cluttered broom closet, or an office. Perhaps both.
"...wait, is that a phone?" he asked.
"Yep! You have to wait for the ringing to stop to hear the message though. Kind of annoying…" Hal informed.
Pitch shrugged and started moving the mouse around to get a feel for the controls. The ringing eventually stopped, thankfully; as Hal said, it was kind of annoying. Then he heard a voice.
"Hello, hello? Uh, I wanted to record a message for you to help you get settled in on your first night. Um, I actually worked in that office before you. I'm finishing up my last week now, as a matter of fact…"
"...I am oddly suspicious of this man," Pitch stated.
"Aren't we all?" Jack deadpanned. "And to open the security camera feed, just move the mouse down...there!"
"What in the...these camera feeds are atrocious!"
"I know, isn't it great?"
Pitch shook his head, clicking the various cameras while Phone Guy continued to speak.
"-Fazbear Entertainment is not responsible for damage to property or person. Upon discovering that damage or death has occurred, a missing person report will be filed within 90 days, or as soon as property and premises have been thoroughly cleaned and bleached, and the carpets have been replaced…"
"Wait, what?!" Pitch exclaimed, "Cleaned and...do they EXPECT me to die? He says it like this is a common occurrence!"
Hal was biting his lip hard enough to bruise, but he made no sound whatsoever. Jack was not faring too well; he was gripping his knees tight and a few sputtered breaths left his tightly pressed lips.
"Uh, the animatronic characters here do get a bit quirky at night, but do I blame them? No. If I were forced to sing those same stupid songs for twenty years and I never got a bath? I'd probably be a bit irritable at night too."
"Animatronics…?" Pitch asked.
"Camera 1A," Hal informed.
Pitch clicked the mentioned camera. He stared blankly at the three animatronics present in the fuzzy image.
"So, just be aware, the characters do tend to wander a bit. Uh, they're left in some kind of free roaming mode at night. Uh...Something about their servos locking up if they get turned off for too long."
"They wander? How is that even physically possible? I can't even get a damn Roomba to work half the time…"
"Uh, they used to be allowed to walk around during the day too. But then there was The Bite of '87. Yeah. I-It's amazing that the human body can live without the frontal lobe, you know?"
"The Bite? What bite? They can bi - what about a frontal lobe?!"
Jack and Hal really were trying not to laugh. They really were.
"Uh, now concerning your safety, the only real risk to you as a night watchman here, if any, is the fact that these characters, uh, if they happen to see you after hours probably won't recognize you as a person. They'll most likely see you as a metal endoskeleton without its costume on. Now since that's against the rules here at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza, they'll probably try to...forcefully stuff you inside a Freddy Fazbear suit. Um, now, that wouldn't be so bad if the suits themselves weren't filled with cross beams, wires, and animatronic devices, especially around the facial area. So, you could imagine how having your head forcefully pressed inside one of those could cause a bit of discomfort...and death. Uh, the only parts of you that would likely see the light of day again would be your eyeballs and teeth when they pop out the front of the mask, heh."
Pitch's gaping face was absolutely priceless, and Hal did allow himself a partly muffled giggle behind gloved hands. Jack had his knuckles shoved in his mouth, his teeth biting the bony protrusions almost painfully.
"How the absolute fuck are these people still in business? And they work around children? Are they on crack?!"
'Oh my god, he swore…!' Jack thought, eyes blurring with tears as he worked to suppress his laughter.
"Y-Yeah, they don't tell you these things when you sign up."
"Isn't this fucking illegal? I didn't see a contract or a form before jumping into this!"
"Pitch, it's a game, you don't get contracts or forms…"
"Well we should!"
"But hey, first day should be a breeze. I'll chat with you tomorrow. Uh, check those cameras, and remember to close the doors only if absolutely necessary. Gotta conserve power. Alright, good night."
"Good nigh-? Piss off you bloody-!" Pitch groaned, scrubbing a hand over his face. "Is this seriously what kids are playing these days?"
Hal snorted. "This is actually considered an old game. It came out in 2014."
Pitch sighed. "Ridiculous. Absolutely ridic-" He paused, blinking a few times as he stared into Cam A1. "I...wait, wasn't there supposed to be three of them?"
"Uh-huh," Jack said all too happily.
Jaw tight, Pitch started clicking through the other cameras. He blanched, backtracking until he was looking into the Dining Area.
"What...the absolute…?"
"Phone Guy did say they...wander." Hal explained.
Pitch didn't think this Phone Guy meant literally. Or perhaps he did, and he simply denied the whole idea. Okay, this wasn't terrible though. Just the one - so far - animatronic wandering around. He was in the security room, how would they get to-
His brow twitched as he put the camera tablet down and looked on either side of the office.
"The doors are open…" he stated.
"Yes. Yes, they are." Hal agreed.
"Why the hell-?!" Pitch whipped the mouse over and clicked the left door button. Hal hummed in disapproval while Jack snorted.
"I wouldn't do that. It's only 1am…" he said.
"What does that mean?" Pitch asked, pausing in closing the other door.
"You have limited power. Everything takes up power - the cameras, the doors being down, even the door lights," Hal explained calmly, "If you put the doors down and leave them down for the whole night, the power will drain before you're halfway through."
"So what? I'll be stuck in the office until the day shift or something?" Pitch asked. To his confusion, Jack and Hal shook their heads.
"Nope," Jack said happily, "The doors will open. The whole building will be blacked out, and you will be caught. There's no recovering."
"What? What door system opens when power goes out?" Pitch rasped. Hal shrugged, but the elder could tell he was enjoying this.
"No idea. Safety regulations?" he guessed. He suddenly smiled all too innocently. "It's 2am. You should probably check to see if Bonnie has moved. And open the door before you drain your power."
Dumbfounded, Pitch did as instructed, but when he checked the Dining Area, the animatronic - Bonnie, Hal called it - was gone.
'Oh piss…' he thought. Alright, this was fine, he could find the rabbit...robot...thing later. Games had universal rules, and as said rules stated, level one was always a breeze.
Moving across the screen, he opened the door - and as per pre-given instructions - checked the door light.
The ominous, metal gear solid alert sound effect only seemed to add onto the sheer panic Pitch felt when he came face to muzzle with a giant purple robot rabbit in his doorway.
"MOTHER OF-!" Somehow he had the coherent reaction of slamming the door shut, clutching his chest with his free hand. He heard more than saw Jack laughing hysterically into his folded arms on the spacious desk, and Hal laughing into his gloved hands.
"Jesus H. Christ…! What was that?!" Pitch rasped. Jack only laughed harder.
"That was Bonnie!" He chortled.
"What was it doing in my doorway?!"
"I know! He almost never gets across the building that quick. He must like you!"
Blinking slowly, Pitch turned to look at the innocent Jack in rapt disbelief. The teenager only laughed harder, though the redhead on his other side seemed to calm somewhat.
"So, yeah, that was Bonnie," he recapped.
"I see that, but what do I do about it?!" Pitch snapped, his heart pounding. By god, the game seemed so low-quality, yet not even ten minutes in, he felt like he was going to have a heart attack.
Hal shrugged. "You have to wait until he leaves."
"Well how do I know if he's gone? I can't just open the door to check, can I?" Pitch asked, still apprehensive.
"You could, technically, but that's kind of a gamble, especially in later nights," Jack informed, his voice raspy from his laughter. He cleared his throat of any leftover giggles. "Check the door light."
Unsure if Jack was just setting him up to be scared out of his skin, Pitch still obeyed and clicked the door light. Hal pointed a gloved finger at the computer screen just over the narrow window beside the door.
"See that shadow? That's him, so he's still there," he said.
Pitch groaned, but he had to concede that the ominous shadow in the window was an interesting, if not coherent and creative game mechanic. And now he knew when the damn purple rabbit was there and not. He heard Hal hum beside him, and the author looked at his godson in apprehension.
"What…?" he asked.
"3am...she sometimes comes around during this time," Hal said cryptically.
"Who?" Pitch asked. Jack suddenly cackled.
"Chica~" he sang.
"Who the fuck…?" Not waiting for an answer, Pitch took up the camera tablet and checked Cam 1A. He felt his fingers squeeze the wireless mouse and the edge of his desk.
"Someone's missing...someone is missing…!" he rasped, zooming through the various cameras. He suddenly paused, hairs on the back of his neck standing on end. "What is that noise? And why can't I see anything in the kitchen?!"
Hal was sure that by the end of the night, all three of them were going to have strokes. Jack was a trembling ball curled up on his chair, wheezing in the deadly Silent Laugh, and Pitch looked about ready to leap out of his skin and haul his bare-bone ass to Canada.
"The kitchen camera doesn't work, it's all audio," he informed with a cracking voice.
"Why the hell-? It stopped…" Pitch stated.
The boys said nothing as he put the camera down and proceeded to check the left door light. Bonnie's shadow was gone.
"Oh thank fuck…" he rasped, opening his door. He just then seemed to notice his power bar and cringed at the reading of 23%. "Why would they not have enough power to keep the doors down?"
"Electricity is expensive," Hal informed. Pitch fixed his godson a disbelieving frown; the boy's father was absolutely loaded, yet he had the gall to say electricity was expensive?
"Hey, hehe, Pitch?" Jack giggled.
"What...?" Pitch groaned, about to check the cameras again.
"You know you have two doors, right?" Jack asked.
Pitch paused, his brain fritzing for a few seconds. He suddenly recalled that he did, in fact, have two doors. He had been staring at the left door almost the entire time. And Bonnie was not the only animatronic…
His math classes were an absolute waste of time and tuition for his chosen degree, but even he could comprehend what this equation meant…
He whipped his mouse over, and without even checking the light, slammed the door down. Once it was down, he checked the door light.
"What the absolute FUCK?!" he snapped, head veering back. Jack started laughing again, and Hal had his face in his hands, shoulders shaking. "What is that thing?!"
"That's Chica…!" Hal cackled.
"Why does it exist?!" Pitch snapped, flicking the door light on and off, as if hoping to make the robot go away - or lapse it into a seizure. "Fuck off you damn duck!"
"Chica's a chicken…" Hal corrected.
"I don't care what it is, I just-JESUS!" Pitch jumped as the screen blackened with a chime, a digital clock slowly turning over to 6am. Children's cheering was heard along with the time change.
"Did...did I win?" he asked.
"Oh my god…!" Jack cackled, thunking his forehead onto the desk. Hal was leaning back in his chair with his hands over his eyes.
"That was only Night 1, you are far from winning…!" he chuckled.
Pitch looked back at the screen from hearing a static buzz, and the words 'Night 2' on screen.
"Oh fuck me sideways…" he moaned, just as he found himself back in the security room. He only scowled when he heard the familiar phone ringing, scanning either side of the office as it rang.
"God, why can I not just answer it myself? This is obnoxious!" he complained.
The phone finally stopped ringing.
"Uhh, Hello? Hello? Uh, well, if you're hearing this and you made it to day two, uh, congrats! I-I won't talk quite as long this time since Freddy and his friends tend to become more active as the week progresses. Uhh, it might be a good idea to peek at those cameras while I talk just to make sure everyone's in their proper place."
"Go suck a horse cock…" Pitch hissed, checking the cameras. Jack nearly tipped out of his chair, Hal blushing and giving Pitch a scolding look.
"I-I also want to emphasize the importance of using your door lights. There are blind spots in your camera views, and those blind spots happen to be right outside of your doors. So if-if you can't find something, or someone, on your cameras, be sure to check the door lights. Uh, you might only have a few seconds to react... Uh, not that you would be in any danger, of course. I'm not implying that."
"Eat my entire asshole, you Furry-fetishist…"
"Holy shit, Pitch…!"
"Also, check on the curtain in Pirate Cove from time to time. The character in there seems unique in that he becomes more active if the cameras remain off for long periods of time. I guess he doesn't like being watched. I don't know. Anyway, I'm sure you have everything under control! Uh, talk to you soon."
"Pirate Cove…?" Pitch inquired. Hal barely managed to pick his head up out of his folded arms to answer.
"Cam 1C…!" he informed, sounding winded.
Expecting the worst, Pitch clicked the named camera. He quirked a brow at the image. It appeared to just be a stage with star-laden purple curtains, and a wooden sign that said, 'Sorry! Out of order'. He suddenly frowned.
"Wait, there's four animatronics?" he asked.
"Yep. But thankfully Foxy won't get too active...not yet anyways," Jack informed.
"Foxy...who the hell is coming up with these names? They're so unimaginative…" Pitch grumbled.
"I mean, you're not wrong…" Hal muttered, resting his chin on folded arms. "Night 2 isn't too difficult, but there's a lot more to do. Be careful using the camera, it drains power the longer you use it."
"I gathered as much…" Pitch grouched, taking a moment to scan over the cameras. Bonnie was already in the Dining Area. Lowering it to check the doors, he thankfully found them empty. But upon checking the cameras again, he could see Chica's shadow at the end of the West Hall.
"Not too difficult, he says," he grumbled, "You know it's not polite to pull fibs."
Hal rolled his eyes. "You may want to check the East Hall camera."
"Why?" Pitch asked while at the same time following the instructions. He cursed colorfully, dropping the camera to slam the door down.
"Fucking hell! Was it looking at me?!" he exclaimed. Jack was giggling gleefully.
"Maybe?" he cackled, "You do look rather tasty~"
Pitch turned his head to give Jack a nasty scowl. "I hope you choke in your sleep tonight…"
Hal snorted. "Focus. You still need to check Pirate's Cove."
Pitch scoffed, muttering about 'bossy redheads', but he trusted his godson's judgement better than Jack's. So far, the game was proving to be startling, leaving his heart racing and running on bursts of adrenaline. Nothing too noteworthy has happened so far though, but Pitch suspected that was only because the boys' instructions have so far kept him from being 'killed'.
Upon finding Pirate's Cove again, he was thankful to find nothing had seemingly changed. The curtains were still closed, and no one was present near them. He lowered the camera, checking the East door light. Bonnie's shadow was not present, and he opened the door.
"Bloody hell, why am I so keyed up right now? It's just a ridiculous game!" he groaned.
"Samhain said the same thing, but in more colorful words…" Hal admitted, cheeks darkening as he recalled said words.
Pitch frowned. "Wait, you made your father play this?"
Hal waved a hand. "Long story. Uh...Chica was in the West Hall last you saw, right?"
"Yes…" Pitch intoned uncertainly, panning the view to check the West door. He blanched, slamming the door down and checking the light. Chica's obnoxious yellow face and blaring purple eyes gaped at him. "Son of a-! Why do I keep forgetting this side?!"
"Cause you like bunnies?" Jack guessed. He no sooner yelped when Pitch jerked a lanky leg out to kick his shin. "Meanie!"
"Ugh…" Pitch was biting his lip, noting the time - 2am. Hardly any time had passed. He flew through the cameras so quickly that he had to backtrack when he noticed something.
"Wait - no! That poster changed!" he snapped, pointing to the Freddy poster in the West Hall Corner. Hal chuckled.
"Oh? Did it? I didn't notice." He shrugged, his godfather fixing him a hard look.
"You are becoming too much like your father. I demand you cease your cheek."
"It's getting late~" Jack sang. "Maybe you should check the stage."
"Why? Everyone is out, and the...bear...he doesn't come off unless it's totally dark, doesn't he?" Pitch asked.
"Phone Guy says Freddy doesn't come off stage often," Hal corrected, "But if you're not watching him…"
Withholding a curse that could peel paint, Pitch took the suggestion and checked the stage. He no sooner reeled back.
"Oh, you can go walk into traffic and show your furry arse to an eighteen-wheeler," he promptly told Freddy, of whom was looking directly at the camera.
"Oh my god…!" Jack cackled shrilly, nearly tipping out of his chair. Hal only shook with repressed laughter, pulling his beanie down to cover his eyes.
Pitch lowered the camera - only to have his ears assaulted by the dread-sound of one smiling purple rabbit in his left doorway.
"Tits and cock!" he snarled, slamming the door down. "Why? Why? I'm a fucking horror writer, I should not be the least bit invested in this!"
The boys were too preoccupied with their quivering lungs and aching ribs to respond. Hal did manage to squeak out, 'Chica' though, reminding Pitch that the right door was still down. His power bar was now reading at less than 19%, and it was only 4am.
"Damn it to hell…" he groaned, checking the door light. Chica was gone, prompting him to lift the door. It was clear he could not take his time and ask questions; he had to click and move his mouse and tune everything else out. His apartment could be ransacked and robbed for all he cared, but if he took his focus off the game for even a few seconds…
Camera up. He checked the Dining Area, shuddering at the giant yellow chicken grinning with white teeth at the camera.
"Why does it have teeth? It's a bird…!" He read her bonnet. "Let's Eat? Let's eat what…?!"
"Your entire-"
"Jack, I'm begging you, don't finish that sentence…" Hal groaned.
Camera down. Check the door lights. Bonnie was gone. He raised the door. Camera up again.
"Fucking hell…" Pitch ran a hand through his hair briefly as he took in the giant rabbit staring at him from the dark of Backstage, surrounded by empty heads and animatronic parts. Bonnie wasn't too close though, so instead of checking the doors, he went back to Pirate's Cove.
He stared for a long handful of seconds before he spoke.
"Who…" he started, "the fuck is authorizing the designs of these robots for children?"
"You know, I always wondered that myself," Hal chortled, amber eyes taking in the gaping maw and glowing eyes of the fox peering out from behind the Pirate's Cover curtains.
"To be fair, Foxy's only freaky looking cause he's busted and broken down," Jack supplied, "Don't be so judgmental."
"That's great, but what do I do about it?" Pitch asked, torn between checking his doors, the other cameras, and apprehension of taking his eyes off Foxy.
"You can't do much about him," Hal said, "You're low on power, and it's 5am now. He won't come after you till the curtains go through a couple stages of opening."
"Come after me?" Pitch rasped in disbelief.
"Yeah, he's busted up, but damn, Foxy can sprint," Hal informed jovially.
"No cursing, young man…"
"Oh, look who's talking…"
"Frost I swear-" Pitch shuddered, lowering the camera. "Oh god, the sounds. Why do I have to watch three of-FUCK!"
Pitch's hands flew up, palms forward like a man at gunpoint as a loud bang was heard, quickly followed by the sound of the power going out, and the screen darkening. His power bar had reached zero.
"Oh…" he muttered. "Oh, how fucked am I right now?"
"That depends," Jack informed cheerfully.
"On what?"
"On whether or not Freddy sings you the short version or the long version," Hal deadpanned.
"What does that even-?" Pitch blanched, fingers curling as music began playing in his headphones. "Is that...Toreador March?"
"Check your left door," Hal said, his tone oddly flat.
"The power is out, why would I have to-OH! God damn it!" Pitch leaned back in his chair far enough to make it creak loudly in protest. "Oh fuck you! Why?! Piss off!"
Hal and Jack were audibly wheezing, both trying to keep watching Pitch's reaction and the game. There were only two things that could happen now; he makes it to 6am out of sheer beginner's luck, or he finds a reason to permanently ban the both of them from his apartment.
"Say hi to Freddy!" Jack cackled.
"Yes, hello, please jump up your own mechanical asshole and go to hell!" Pitch told the computer screen.
"Pitch, you're being recorded, oh my god…!" Hal wheezed.
"What do I do?!" his godfather snapped.
"You can't do anything unless-" Jack paused as the screen darkened and Pitch jumped, once more the counter for 5am jovially turning to 6am along with a clock chime. Children's cheering was heard, and Pitch sagged in his seat.
"Oh, thank fuck...oh god damn it, not again!" he whined as 'Night 3' flashed on the screen.
"Is this actually five nights?" He exclaimed.
"Well of course, otherwise the name would be meaningless," Hal said easily.
Pitch groaned, rubbing his forehead. "That damn ringing again…"
"Hello, hello? Hey you're doing great! Most people don't last this long. I mean, you know, they usually move on to other things by now. I'm not implying that they died…"
"I am going to find this man…" Pitch said through clenched teeth, already checking the cameras, "set his house on fire, shave his dog, and make him watch me have sex with his wife."
"What the shit…?!" Jack looked both parts baffled, horrified and amused. Hal's expression was completely blank.
"Uh, anyway I better not take up too much of your time. Things start getting real tonight.
Uh... Hey, listen, I had an idea: if you happen to get caught and want to avoid getting stuffed into a Freddy suit, uhh, try playing dead! You know, go limp. Then there's a chance that, uh, maybe they'll think that you're an empty costume instead. Then again if they think you're an empty costume, they might try to... stuff a metal skeleton into you. I wonder how that would work…"
Pitch flipped the screen off, causing Jack to gasp and choke on his own laughter, clutching his stomach.
"Yeah, never mind, scratch that. It's best just not to get caught."
"I hope you get testicular cancer…"
Jack was now on the floor, and Hal was once more tugging his beanie down to hid his reddening face, shoulders trembling.
"Um... Ok, I'll leave you to it. See you on the flip side!"
Pitch lowered the camera, and once more leaned back in his seat hard enough to cause a part to crack.
"AH! FUCK YOU! Oh god! What the fuck?!" Pitch snapped, eyes wide as he took in the brief image of what appeared to be a yellow version of Freddy in his office accompanied by the sounds of a child giggling. The screen then flashed with images too quick to fully comprehend, but he caught what he recognized to be images of the animatronics with wide, very human-like eyes, and the words 'IT'S ME'.
"What the fuck was that?! There's five of them?!"
"Holy shit…!" Jack wheezed, pulling himself back into his seat. He looked torn between terrified and about to laugh himself sick. "Oh my god! You lucky asshole!"
"Lucky?! Why?!" Pitch snapped. "And what was that?!"
"That was Golden Freddy!" Hal exclaimed, sounding excited. "Ugh, and Jack's right, you're lucky. That's a rare game mechanic. I've played this game at least a dozen times and never saw him until now."
Pitch gaped at his godson; over the fact he enjoyed the sudden appearance of a crumbled yellow bear inside his office, or the fact he had played this game a dozen times was up for debate.
"Halistair...are you doing drugs?" he asked shakily. The redhead just laughed.
"You better check on everyone, otherwise you'll get an even better scare!" he cackled.
Resolutely deciding that his godson was, in fact, on drugs, Pitch did as he was instructed. He flitted through the cameras, his palm sweaty on the wireless mouse. He checked his door lights in between, cursing when he found Chica and Bonnie both occupying their respective hallways.
"How are they out so soon?" he groaned; in a twisted way, he was intrigued and excited about the lightheadedness of the game's excitement, and the special brand of anxiety induced by good horror. Yet at the same time, he hated it.
'Maybe I'm losing my mind,' he thought, 'Or I'm the one on drugs.'
"Oh shit…" He slammed the East door shut when he spotted Chica with the door light.
"It's only 2am…" he grouched.
"Yep," Hal chirped, propping his chin up in his palms. "The third night is chaotic so you're prepared for the fourth and fifth night."
Pitch grumbled too lowly for anyone to hear and continued on. He quickly found a decent routine that, to onlookers, was probably a tad disorienting. He quietly thanked his years of keyboard and mouse techniques, as well as his sharp visual intake of what he was seeing in the cameras and office. He hardly stayed in the cameras for more than eight seconds, only scanning the halls and the stage, and only had the lights on for two seconds maximum.
"God, what the hell have you been doing writing all this time?" Jack asked, eyes squinting at the flashes of rapidly changing cameras. "You could have been like, some YouTube gamer if you have skills like this."
Pitch snorted, not allowing himself to take Jack's statement as a compliment; there was an insult in there after all. "Because unlike some people, I have more important things to do…"
He chanced reaching down to pick up his coffee.
Hal frowned. "Wait, you've only been checking the cameras for the stage and the hallways…"
"So?" Pitch inquired, sipping his coffee. He grimaced, throat closing up at the cold coffee now held in his mouth instinctively.
Jack's smile fell. "Oh shit, oh god. Pitch, you forgot to-!"
"AAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"HURK-?!"
In rapid succession, a number of things happened. Firstly, Foxy appeared in the West doorway with a scream that shot through Pitch's eardrums and dropped like a launched icicle into his heart, lungs and stomach. Secondly, the volume was absolutely cranked up, and not expecting the sound and appearance of the fox, Pitch reacted in three successive steps.
He choked on the cold coffee in his mouth, actually spit-taking it onto Hal's computer. His spine locked up, forcing him to lean back too quickly in his chair - its final support strut broke. Coupled with the shock of the jump scare, his momentum of falling back, and his right leg jerking upwards, he slammed and broke his kneecap under his solid oak desk. Hard.
He hit the floor just as Hal and Jack had their own reactions, Pitch now coughing and choking on the floor. Hal gaped as his computer screen flickered into the Blue Screen of Death and Jack was left blind, deaf and dumb as he fell to the floor in the fetal position, clutching his stomach.
"MY LEG…!"
"My computer!"
"My ribs…! Gahahaha…!"
Game Over…
~s~S~s~
"My godson hates me…"
"To be fair, he did not expect your chair to give out, nor for you to choke on cold coffee, and at the same time bust your own kneecap."
"My godson hates me…"
"Well, you did break his brand-new computer, but he's hardly the type to hate anyone or anything…"
"I hate you for not warning me about that abomination of a game…"
Samhain laughed, patting his sour-faced friend's hand, being mindful of the IV. Pitch certainly looked anything but comfortable, or even 'grouchy'. He looked borderline homicidal in spite of the hospital bed, starchy white sheets, and bulky cast and leg sling keeping his knee bent at a slight angle.
"In my defense, I did not think they would sic Freddy on you too," he chortled, "I thought they got a decent enough reaction out of me to leave everyone else alone."
"Go suck a fire hydrant…" Pitch growled. Samhain only laughed harder, apparently charmed by the insult.
"They do feel bad though," he offered, "Jack, after he stopped pissing himself, will be picking up your mail after school, and Halistair has offered to run errands for you till your knee heals."
Pitch rolled his eyes, but he did take some relief in knowing he wouldn't be hobbling to the store or to grab his mail. It was times like these that he regretted taking one of the higher floors of the apartment complex, despite the elevator.
"...wait, his brand-new computer?" he inquired, "I thought he got that computer two Christmases ago?"
He took in Samhain's stiffened smile, his eyes drifting down to his lap when he noticed the redhead tugging his sleeve over the hand resting there. He looked back up at Samhain.
"What did you do when you got jump scared?" he asked in dry amusement. Samhain looked off to the side evasively.
"I... may have...unintentionally…" he cleared his throat, "Ah...punched a hole through his computer screen. The one you broke was only a week old."
Pitch would later blame it on the pain medications, but he allowed himself to laugh uproariously at both the mental image and his friend's obvious embarrassment.
Alright, so maybe getting his kneecap cracked and his chair completely obliterated wasn't the worst thing to happen to him.
'Worth it,' he thought.
END
~s~s~S~s~s~
A/N~ Check out the BONUS ENDING after this!
Enjoy folks!
~S~