Yellow Butterfly
Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight, nor do I own the song Yellow Butterfly by Meg & Dia. I would suggest listening to the song while reading, so, it will probably make you cry.
Were the angels that lonely?
Couldn't they suffice for anybody else?
Can't everybody just lie to me?
'She's home, she's home, crying for me now'
And the pain hits me like gunshot.
And I'm heading on the way to the floor, I hear her name and it kills me.
Oh, Bottles up, Bottles up, Bottles up.
--
EDWARD
I stood in the shadows as her funeral occured. Not only because the sun decided to shine on this horrible excuse for a day, but Charlie would not let me go anywhere near the church, blaming her death on me, and, for once in my life, I agreed with him. It was entirely my fault that my beautiful Bella would never be able to open her eyes again, that she would never be able to inhale nor exhale ever again, that her heart would never beat again, that her cheeks would never flush in embarrassment again. It was entirely my fault that my Bella was... I couldn't bring myself to even THINK those words.
The worst part was hearing the thoughts of everyone else at the funeral. Our friends, our peers, our families... I could hear all their thoughts in my head, swarming it with accusation. Mike Newton, the little bastard, kept thinking that if she was with him, then this would have never happened.
He did seem to have a point. If Bella had chosen Mike, she would have been safe from me... perhaps not safe from the rest of the waiting world, but she would still have been a little safer.
I know you're here, leech. Came the unmistakeable thoughts of Jacob Black. I can smell you. Get the hell out of here before I do something drastic. I didn't need to be told twice. I quickly turned on my heel and ran as far away as I could. Letting my feet guide me, I found myself at my home. No, house. I reminded myself. Home is where the heart is, and your heart is in that casket with her. I walked to the front door as slowly as possible, and then turned the knob, not excited to face my family. They had been almost as hard on me as the rest of the town, especially Alice. Alice had never had a friend like Bella. Now she was stuck with cold, bitchy Rosalie.
Speaking of Rosalie, it was her thoughts that ticked me off the most. While everyone else had been in mourning, Rosalie had been chanting in her head I told you so! I told you so! To the point where Emmett had to hold me back so that I didn't snap his wife's neck.
I walked in, and suddenly all chatter in the house had ceased. Everyone looked at me while I passed. Everyone except for Alice, who refused to even be in the same room as me. Esme walked up to me and put her hand on my arm comfortingly."Edward... I'm so sorry about Bella." She said quietly. I shrugged her hand off and continued walking. I just wanted to get to my room.
"Hey man." Came Emmett's booming voice, "If you want to talk about it..."
"NO! I DON'T WANT TO FUCKING TALK ABOUT IT!" I yelled angrily. Emmett rolled his eyes.
"Fine! Jesus Christ, you don't have to be a douche about it." He said. My eyes narrowed and I moved towards him.
"You don't know what it's like to have the one you love die in your fucking arms, knowing that it's all your fault. If you even KNEW what I was going through right now..."
"That's just IT, Edward! I don't KNOW what you're going through... NONE of us do, because you won't let us inside that thick head of yours." Emmett hissed, pushing me away from him.
"Edward, just face it." Rosalie's annoying voice rang through the room. "Bella's dead, and there's nothing you can do about it, so grow up, and stop being such a dick."
"CAN'T EVERYBODY JUST LIE TO ME?" I yelled. "She's home, she's home, crying for me now." I said to myself, trying to make me believe that I didn't kill her... trying to forget the sweet taste of her blood on my tongue as I sucked her dry. Some memories, though, never wanted to fade.
She's home. Jasper thought, and I glanced at him, trying to smile, yet I couldn't find the strength in me to do so. Somehow, though, he got the pointand winked at me.
That night, I decided that I would go to her house one more time, after Charlie fell asleep. I needed to smell her scent just one more time, even if it was at the scene of the crime. Like clockwork, Charlie had gone to bed at 11, and I snuck in her still-open window. Everything was the way it was that night. The only thing missing was Bella. I walked over to the bed and laid down on the cold sheets and inhaled her scent. It was at that moment that I decided what I had to do.
ALICE
If it were possible for vampires to cry, I'd be bawling at this point. We all would be. Two family members gone in a week. Though we had not known Bella as long as we knew Edward, we knew that we would miss them both equally. I could have stopped him from going to the Volturi again, but I was too mad at him to do so... and now he was gone.
And the pain hits me like gunshot.
--
The end
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