"Hannah!" Lilly hissed in my ear. "Hannah, where's your lipstick?"
"Uh…in my purse."
"Get it out! Get it out! Quick!"
I frowned at her. "What? Cherry Berry isn't working for you tonight?"
"No!" She grabbed my purse and rummaged through it. "I mean, yes. I mean…ahah!" She waved my lipstick in the air. "Quick, put it on! You're fading."
"I'm what?"
"Oh, bother." Lilly pulled the cap off and pressed the lipstick to my lower lip. "Hold still, would you?"
"What are you doing?"
"Oh, come on. Don't tell me you didn't notice Mr. Hottie over by the punch bowl. He totally just winked at you."
"He did?" My gaze flew to the punch bowl. A cute guy with long blond hair was staring back at me. When he realized he'd drawn my attention, he smiled.
"That's Samuel Forster," I whispered to Lilly. "I saw him at Tracy's party last weekend."
"The guy who played Romeo in the TV mini series?" Lilly asked with a dreamy sigh.
"Yeah." I stole another glance at him. "Mmm, isn't he fine! Quick, Lola! Hand over the lipstick!"
Lilly obeyed. "Oh look, now he's coming over here!"
Quickly I applied the lipstick, then dropped it back into my purse. Tonight was my night! Who would've thought I'd meet my future husband at a Save-The-Whales charity event? What a story we'd tell our children about how we met under the blue mood lights at an aquarium and spent the night dancing around fish tanks to tunes from the Aqua Zone band. It was everything I had dreamed and more.
Samuel stepped up to me and smiled a gorgeous smile. "O, she doth teach the torches to burn bright." He boldly took my hand and kissed it, then looked up at me with a pair of startlingly blue eyes.
That puddle on the floor…yup, that was me.
"Oooh, you even talk like that in real life!" Lilly exclaimed. She held out her hand for him to kiss, but he took no notice of her.
"'Beauty's ensign yet is crimson in thy lips and in thy cheeks,'" he quoted. "You, my dear, are exquisite."
Exquisite? Would he mind if I proposed right now?
Lilly huffed and tossed her chin length blue hair. "Whatever. I'm getting some punch."
Sammy stepped closer to me. "'How fares my Hannah? That I ask again; for nothing can be ill, if she be well.'"
Okay, maybe he was a little strange, but give me a break – he was way cute! "So Romeo, do you speak twenty-first century American, too?"
He stared at me, confused.
"Never mind. You must be the infamous Samuel Forster, right?"
"Oh!" He bowed slightly. "Forgive me, how rude I have been not to introduce myself properly. My name is Samuel Jonathan Wright Forster. But you can call me Sammy."
I raised an eyebrow. "Sammy?"
"Despite all appearances," he leaned toward me, as if to tell me a huge secret, "I was born in Texas, and everyone I know calls me Sammy. My mom actually named me after her favorite cow who won first prize at the state fair in '88."
My eyes grew very wide. "The cow's name was Sammy?"
"Well, her name was Samantha, but Mom couldn't name me that."
I didn't know what to say, so I stared at his pretty blue eyes and pretended he had never mentioned a cow.
Sammy cleared his throat. "Would you care to dance, my lady?"
"I'd love to!"
What? Don't look at me like that. He was really cute.
Sammy swept me onto the dance floor. It was just like I'd always dreamed…except in my dreams I'd been wearing a pair of silver Jimmy Choo heels instead of these black clunkers.
"After tonight I'm gonna have to find a new recurring dream." I sighed.
"Why?"
"Because you just made mine come true."
"Ah, you 'talk of dreams, which are the children of an idle brain, begot of nothing but vain fantasy.'"
Woah, where had that come from? "You must've memorized those lines pretty well, Sammy. I mean, you shot the mini series what? A year ago? I can't remember the lyrics to my songs for even half that long, and they actually make sense."
"That's okay, Hannah. Intelligence doesn't matter to me." He drew me closer. "Your 'beauty makes this vault a feasting presence full of light.'"
What did he just say? "Excuse me?"
"Do not get too excited, my dear. 'These violent delights have violent ends.'"
I stared at him in disbelief. Was he for real? Maybe I'd chosen my future husband a little too hastily.
"Lola?" I whimpered. I looked around desperately for a way out. Where was Lilly when I needed her? And why hadn't Oliver showed up yet? He was an hour late!
"Oh!" Sammy exclaimed. "Your 'eyes in heaven would through the airy region stream so bright that birds would sing and think it were not night!'"
I sighed. This was starting to get a little old.
The Aqua Zone band started up a new languid tune, this one featuring a harp, an accordion, and – was that a goldfish tank they were blowing bubbles into?
"'See how she leans her cheek upon her hand!'" Sammy said with feeling. "'O that I were a glove upon that hand, that I might touch that cheek!'"
"Do you get a lot of girls that way?" I asked bluntly. "Speaking almost entirely in Shakespeare quotes?"
"Yeah." Was he really blushing? How did he turn that into a compliment?
I sighed helplessly. This was just my luck. There was always something wrong with the cute guys, especially the ones that were tall and blond.
"Hannah, I must confess something to you," Sammy said very seriously.
I rolled my eyes. "What?"
"'Did my heart love till now? Foreswear it, sight! For I ne'er saw true beauty till this night.'"
"Sammy, listen," I interrupted, pushing him away from me. "I didn't like Shakespeare in eighth grade, and I like him even less now."
"Please, Hannah! Don't go!" he cried, his charade falling away. "My real confession is that I have been your secret number one fan since the first time I saw you perform in Dallas. You sang 'This is the Life" and it was the most beautiful song I've ever heard. I have always wanted to meet you. That was my primary goal in coming to Malibu. Well, that and I'm going to be staring in another mini series called 'Romeo: The Later Years.'"
"The later what?" I squeaked.
"It's about Romeo's attempts to find happiness in the wild savannahs of North Africa after losing his beloved Juliet. Yesterday we had an elephant on set. The monkeys are coming tomorrow. I don't know how I feel about the monkeys, though. The last time I worked with a monkey he snuck into my dressing room and stole my underwear. I thought it was very unprofessional."
I bit my lip – hard – to keep from bursting out laughing. "Sammy…didn't Romeo die in the first play?"
Sammy's blue eyes got very round. "He did?"
Oh brother, this was going to be a long night.
"My dearest Hannah!" He grabbed my hand. "There are so many things I had planned to say. 'It seems she hangs a rich jewel upon the cheek of the Ethiope's ear'…no wait, 'a rich jewel in an Ethiope's cheek'…no, that wasn't it. Hold on."
He closed his eyes and started whispering phrases that made no sense. With each second that passed he grew more frantic. "I had it all planned out. I memorized everything. This was supposed to be perfect. Oh, fiddlesticks!"
I couldn't help myself. A tiny little gasping laugh burst out. But Sammy was too distraught to notice.
"My lady, I am most sincerely sorry. You deserve the most eloquent, most elaborate, most perfect, most –"
"Just make your point, Sammy."
"Yes, yes of course." He drew in a long, shaky breath. He took my hands and squeezed them. I pretended not to notice that they were rather sweaty.
"I cannot be silent. I must declare my deep, undying, soul-wrenching love for you."
I took a big step back. "Romeo say what?"
"I love you, Hannah. I always have and I always will. 'Tempt not a desperate man.' Tell me you love me and we never have to be apart again!"
Sweet niblets! The boy was crazy!
"Uh, Sammy," I said, pulling him gently off to the side of the dance floor. "I'm flattered by your affection, but –"
"Affection!" He gaped at me. "But I love you. We were meant to be together. Forever!"
"Yes, yes, I know. But that just can't happen, Sammy. I'm very sorry."
He looked up at me pathetically. Yeah, he definitely wasn't cute anymore. Unless 5-year-old cute counts, which it doesn't.
"Why not? I love you."
"Yes, but love has to go both ways for a relationship to work, Sammy."
"You could learn to love me," he whimpered.
"No, I don't think I could."
"Why not? Please Hannah, give me one good reason why you can't at least try."
"Well, because…" I glanced around, trying to think of something. Where the heck was Lilly? I couldn't see her blue head anywhere. She better not have ditched me and found herself another Mr. Hottie! "Well, Sammy…because…" I was grasping at straws. "Because I have a body odor problem!"
"A what?"
"Yeah, something about my pores, they don't regulate properly. Guys hate to be around me, I smell awful."
"No, not at all!" he declared. "'One fairer than my love? The all-seeing sun ne'er saw her match since the world first begun!' You smell like a field of lavender right now."
"That's because I just got a lavender pore treatment this morning. But you won't want to smell me tomorrow. It's nas-tay."
"You could never smell bad to me, Hannah. You're perfect."
Dear God, this was like Oliver all over again. Only worse. A hundred times worse. "It's not just the pore thing, Sammy. I uh…I already have a boyfriend."
"You have a boyfriend!?" A look of horror came over his face. "'No words can that woe sound!'"
"Woah, not so loud, pal." I looked around, just to make sure none of the reporters had heard that. One of them was filming the Aqua Zone band, and the other had its camera pointed at a very fat goldfish. So far so good.
"I can't believe you have a boyfriend!" Sammy wailed. "I haven't heard about this anywhere. It can't be true!"
"It's a recent development," I explained. "We're keeping it kinda hush-hush."
"But…but you said you had a pore problem, that guys don't want to be around you."
"Oh, my boyfriend smells bad, too. We're perfect for each other."
Sammy moaned. "How can this be? You have crushed the innermost parts of my soul."
I sighed. "Sorry pal, but sometimes love hurts. Romeo ought to know that better than anyone else."
"But even Romeo finds love in the wild savannahs of Africa!" he cried.
This was turning into a nightmare. Lilly was going to be in trouble for abandoning me. Big trouble.
"Hannah, I don't believe you. I love you too much. I think you're afraid of loving me back. You're afraid of what we can have together. I won't leave your side until I can convince you that you belong with me."
"Sammy," I said through clenched teeth. "The only thing I'm afraid of right now is what I'm gonna do if you say you love me one more time. I have a boyfriend. End of story."
It baffled the mind, but yes, Sammy was actually crying. "Who? Who is this man who has stolen your heart? Show him to me and I'll prove myself the better."
"Well…he uh…he was supposed to come tonight, but..." I scanned the room for inspiration. I didn't know a single guy in the entire room. Dang flabbit! This was the last time I'd ever agree to sing for a Save-The-Whales charity ball.
What was I going to do? I couldn't just make someone up; Sammy would never believe me. I had to have proof. Real living proof….
"Sorry I'm late, Hannah." Oliver slipped between me and Sammy, oblivious to anything that had transpired between us. "I didn't get your text message in time. My mom read this article in the newspaper about how cell phones are killing all the honey bees, and she made me turn mine off. Man, I hate arriving after all the good food is gone. Lola said there were salmon rolls on table two, but I went over there and all I could find was this egg roll thing." He bit into it.
I grinned at him mischievously. Oh yes, help had finally arrived. Impulsively I grabbed Oliver by the shoulders and pointed him toward Sammy. "Mike, I'm so glad you could make it tonight. I want you to meet my new pal Sammy. Sammy, this is Mike Standley…my boyfriend."