I consider this story to be a sequel to the three-part story "You're There for Me" but you don't have to read that one in order to follow this one.
It will include a lot of Nicky & Lorna, Gloria's sons, Red's sons, Red's daughter-in-law Lida (Vasily's Wife), and their grandchildren. I always imagine Red and Gloria being closer in age than they are on the show. For this story, I picture Red being in her early seventies and Gloria mid-to-late sixties. They have been in a relationship in the real world for about ten years, and got together while still inmates in Litchfield.
Warning that this story will be sad. It involves Red's journey with a serious condition. If you can't bear to read about sad things happening to her then you might not like this story, but my goal is to make this very true to the reality that many elderly people and their caregivers/families endure every day.
I always appreciate constructive feedback and hope you review. If you have any suggestions about things you would like to see, let me know and I'll do my best to include them. Thanks for reading!
I do not own Orange is the New Black
It was a waiting room no different from any other. Magazines cascaded across the tables, potted plants were set in the sun, and information pamphlets for various ailments were on display. Green anti-slip matting covered the floor and on the pristine white walls hung framed black and white photographs of flowers, kittens, and the sea. It was clearly intended to be a soothing place for people to sit while they waited for potentially life-changing news, but all Red felt was restlessness and agitation.
"I shouldn't be here," she said in a soft voice that Gloria needed to strain her ears to hear, "I'm not like that-". Her face was stiff and unreadable, but her eyes flickered anxiously around her surroundings. The room was overcrowded with walkers, canes, and two patients were even strapped into these large forbidding wheelchairs. Nearly everyone appeared to be accompanied by a support person or caregiver, and they all visibly looked to have something severely wrong with them.
The realization that she had been grouped in with people like that was incredibly unnerving to Red. She still couldn't fully comprehend the dramatic turn her life had taken in just a short matter of weeks. She had had the nagging suspicion that something was wrong for awhile now but ignoring it hadn't made it go away and she had finally conceded to have a check-up done by her primary physician. That had led to blood work, MRI scans, and ultimately with a referral to see a doctor who specializes in neurological disorders. It was all moving so quickly and it was distressing to realize how serious everyone was taking her symptoms. As she sat, looking around at the other waiting patients, Red's hope that she would be given a clean bill of health and sent on her way was diminishing. She wouldn't be here if there wasn't a problem.
"We're going to figure this out," Gloria said calmly. Putting down the magazine that she had been pretending to read, she brushed back Red's hair from her face and kissed her forehead. "Whatever they say-at least we'll know what is wrong and we'll figure out what to do about it."
"And if there's nothing that can be done?" Red said quietly. Her eyes were intently fixated upon an elderly man who was hunched over in his wheelchair as a pool of saliva drooled into his lap. "Well, then I'm better off just walking straight into oncoming traffic once we leave here."
"I don't think so," Gloria's wrapped an arm around Red's shoulder. "But now that you've said that, I'll be sure not to let go of your hand while we're on the street-not that I mind, I like holding your hand."
She gave her a warm and reassuring smile, but Red merely scoffed at her words and looked back down at the forms on her lap. Gloria looked down at them also. "How well are you making out on the paperwork?" she asked quietly.
"Mmm," Red uttered a low sound of frustration, and automatically covered the papers with her arm. Her posture was stooped and her upper body hid it all from sight. "I'm not done yet," she admitted quietly.
"Would you like some help?" Gloria asked, knowing very well what her response would be before she even said it.
"No," Red said stubbornly. Reaching for the pen that she had rested on top of the metal clipboard, she held it in a trembling hand and brought it to the paper so that she could finish filling out her forms. Gloria watched painfully out of the corner of her eye, as Red made a single mark with her pen before it slipped out of her shaking grasp and fell to the floor.
"I've got it," Gloria said casually. Her short grey hair brushed across Red's face as she leaned over her to retrieve the pen. When she straightened herself, Gloria held out a hand for the papers and gave Red an imploring look. "May I see them please?" she asked politely. "There's no shame in accepting a little help now and again."
A shadow came over Red's face, although her features seemed frozen as they were. There was no shame is accepting help, but Red had always been better about giving assistance than receiving it. She had always had a resounding need to be needed, and a chronic fear of being needy. It didn't bode well for her in circumstances such as these, even with Gloria, whom she trusted and loved with all of her heart. Nonetheless, she picked the clipboard up off of her lap and begrudgingly offered it over with a trembling hand.
"Thank you," Gloria said quietly. She accepted the papers and then adjusted her clear framed glasses, which sat on the bridge of her nose.
Her eyes glanced over the first page to see how far Red had gotten. The penmanship was small, cramped, and nearly indecipherable. The name at the top of the page, Galina Reznikov, looked as though a child just learning how to print had written it, but it was the best she could do. It was impossible to write neatly when your hand would not stop shaking.
"Okay," Gloria breathed, her pen posed in anticipation. She discreetly re-wrote what Red had already filled out so that it would be legible. She filled out their contact information, insurance, and listed herself as Galina's common-law spouse and next of kin.
The next page was a questionnaire about family history and asked her to specify the symptoms she was experiencing. Tremors, stiffness, difficulty getting out of a chair without something to brace herself on, softer speech, and sporadic experiences of being frozen into place. Red had been enduring all of these for close to a year and trying unsuccessfully to ignore. They had severely worsened in the past month, which is what had finally convinced Red to get herself checked out. Gloria's urging had at last worn her down.
Gloria stood up to hand the paperwork back into the receptionist and then returned to her seat. Red was stooped over in her chair and had her hands clenched tightly together, as a bid to control the tremors. It wasn't working though, and her head would not stop jerking, making it seem as though she were saying 'no' over and over again. She didn't look well at all, and Gloria had no false sense of hope that what they learned today would not be completely devastating. She took a deep breath and called upon her strongest and bravest self. Today, she needed to be the rock.
"I don't like that picture," Gloria said lightly, as she sat back down in the seat next to Red. They were both looking up at a large black-and-white image of a bouquet of wildflowers. "I mean, the prettiest part of a flower is its colour. You take that away and what's the point?"
"Huh," Red murmured.
Gloria gently pulled Red's hands apart so that she could hold her trembling right in her own. "The secretary reckons the wait won't be too much longer," she said quietly. "Are you thirsty? I could get you some water."
"No," Red replied.
"Look, I know this is scary," Gloria whispered, "it is for me too-but no matter what we find out in there, it's not going to change anything overnight, you know."
Red shrugged impassively. Gloria sighed and brought her hand to her lips for a kiss. "And if it turns out to be something, well then we'll be able to get you started on a treatment plan which will make you feel much better."
"There's no cure, Gloria," Red said in her soft and wavering voice. "If it is what the doctor suspected it was...well then I'm completely f**ked."
"No, you're not," Gloria replied, "there's therapies, medications-you'll have a lot of options. We just have to wait and see...and I'm going to be with you every step of the way."
"Not-uhh," Red hesitated, "will you wait out here though? I just-if it's bad news...I need to hear it by myself first."
"You don't want me to go with you?" Gloria asked disbelievingly. When Red refused to meet her eye, Gloria sighed and nodded her head. "If that's what you want," she said quietly, trying to be understanding.
It was impossible for anyone to know how they would react if being faced with the prospect of a serious and debilitating disease, but Gloria thought that if their positions were reversed she'd be taking comfort in Red's presence, not asking for space. Red had always been a very independent person though, and as close as they had become in the past ten-years of domestic bliss, Red still seemed to have the tendency to initially withdraw into herself when upset. It was important to let her come in her own time.
"Galina Reznikov," a nurse called as she walked into the waiting room.
Red's hand tightened in hers severely, as Gloria placed her other on the small of her back and helped her to her feet. The nurse gave her a sympathetic smile. "Follow me," she said. Red walked slowly, her feet shuffling so that they barely lifted off of the floor.
Gloria watched her leave anxiously and then pulled out her cell phone. She had no messages aside from a good morning text sent from Julio in California. None of their children or grandchildren had been told anything. Red didn't want them to know and they knew better then to mention their growing concerns to her directly. Gloria had been interrogated by them all several times and it bemoaned her to keep them in the dark. She could have used some support herself right about now.
She was in the process of typing out her reply to Julio when she felt a shadow cast over her and looked up to see the nurse standing there.
"Is she okay?" Gloria asked concernedly, shoving her phone back into her bag. "What did the doctor say?"
"The doctor hasn't seen her yet," the nurse replied, "but she's very nervous and I think she'll do better with you in the room. She asked me to come get you."
"I guess she changed her mind then," Gloria said, getting to her feet. "She asked me to wait out here."
She followed the nurse down the corridor and into an office with two chairs and an examination table. Red was seated alone in the room, staring blankly at the wall as Gloria sat down beside her. Wordlessly, she rested her hand on Red's arm, and instinctively, Red angled herself towards her and breathed a huge sigh of relief. Asking Gloria to wait outside had been a mistake. Red had felt like she was drowning alone and knew she had never needed anyone more. Neither said anything, but Gloria held her tight as they waited several long minutes for the doctor to finally arrive.
Doctor Khan was an bespectacled man, with salt-and-pepper hair, and a small goatee. He shook both of their hands and then opened up the file that had all of Red's information and test results inside. They had sent her for blood work and a MRI scan last week, mainly to rule out any other possible reasons for her symptoms.
"Alright, Ms. Reznikov," Doctor Khan said in a deep voice, "I'll ask you to stand up for me, just like how you would if you were alone at home."
Red's eyes darted uncomfortably side-to-side, as the doctor looked at her keenly. She hadn't been expecting to have to move around. She gripped the arms of her chair and heaved herself, with difficulty, to her feet. Her back was hunched over and when the Doctor asked her to stand up straighter, she was unable to do so. He had her walk from one end of the room to the other, observing the way her feet shuffled and how slowly she moved. He determined that her balance was compromised and that her arms hung stiffly at her sides and did not swing. As she stood unassisted, there was a moment when her right leg felt frozen in place and it took a couple of minutes for her to be able to move it again.
"Okay," Doctor Khan said quietly, making notes in her file. "You can have a seat. "
Gloria lips were compressed in anxiety and her entire body felt numb. It was an awful thing to witness. Even though she had been watching these symptoms evolve for awhile, there was something about observing Red in this clinical setting that made it all seem worse. There was nowhere for her to hide anymore. It was time to face the truth.
Red slowly made her way back to her and Gloria patted her thigh supportively when she sat down. Gloria didn't want Red to realize how scared she was. She needed her presence to be strong and soothing right now.
The doctor wheeled over his own chair so that he was directly in front of Red. Her stared at her with a furrowed brow and then cupped her chin firmly in his hand. With his other hand, he tugged on her lips and cheeks, studying her reflexes and muscle control.
"Try to smile," he told her softly, keeping a light hand over her face. He could feel some twitching around her lips but her features remained resolutely stiff and expressionless. She couldn't smile. Releasing his hold, Doctor Khan wheeled himself a bit further back. He made some more notes in her file while Red stared resolutely back at the wall, and Gloria took her hand.
"Ms. Reznikov," Doctor Khan began quietly. "From observing you here, and from the other tests we have performed, I can affirm that you are in the early stages of Parkinson's disease. Have you heard about this condition before?"
"We have," Gloria spoke up, when Red didn't say anything or show any signs of reacting. "Our family doctor-he mentioned it was a possibility."
"Parkinson's is a progressive disorder that affects movement," Dr. Khan said matter-of-factly. "It gets worse with time, and there is no cure."
Red shifted restlessly in her chair and the hand that Gloria was holding began to tremble its hardest yet. Red still hadn't averted her eyes from the wall or given any indication that she was even listening. Her face with still determinedly frozen.
"But, the good news is that a diagnosis means we are able to begin treating the disease and that will help alleviate a lot of your symptoms," Dr. Khan continued to say. He reached for his prescription pad and began to scribble something onto it.
"What are you prescribing her?" Gloria asked calmly.
They had known Parkinson's disease was suspected, even probable, but there was something so final about actually hearing it in such a matter-of-fact and official tone. This doctor examined people like Red all-day long. It was just another case for him, but for Red, it was the end of life as she knew it. And Gloria knew she needed to be strong for her.
"So, we're going to start off with a very effective drug called Levodopa," Doctor Khan said casually. "It will help reduce your trembling and make movement easier. The medication has the habit of becoming ineffective over time and a higher dosage also increases your side effects, so I gave you a low dosage for now and we will adjust accordingly as we go on."
Ripping the page from his prescription pad, the doctor handed it to Gloria. "I understand that this isn't what you were hoping to hear, but the important thing to keep in mind is that nobody actually knows for sure how this disease will progress. Every case is different. You could stay in this same stage for years."
"But it will...you can't stop it from getting worse, can you?" Red asked in a shaky voice.
"My goal is to keep you as comfortable as possible," Doctor Khan replied. "With modifications, I don't see why you won't be able to lead an almost normal life for a good while yet." He nodded at Gloria, "it seems as though you have a very good support system. That will be invaluable to you. Do you have anymore questions for me?"
"No," Red said faintly, "I just need to get out of here." Placing her trembling hands anxiously on the arms of her chair, she began struggling to pull herself into a standing position.
"I'll see you again in two weeks to determine how the medication is working for you," Doctor Khan said, also standing up. "If you have any questions before then, you can always call the office."
"Thank you," Gloria said softly. She too got to her feet, but the doctor motioned for her to remain behind and give Red a head start out of the room.
"My nurse will give you some information about safety proofing your home to prevent falls and to make it easier for her to manage," the doctor said. "Do you have a lot of stairs?"
"No," Gloria told him. "We live in a bungalow."
"Well, that certainly simplifies things," the doctor replied. "Especially once you need to make modifications to account for a wheelchair-although that is probably a long way off."
"I hope so," Gloria said faintly, feeling as though she were a million miles away. "Thank you," she said again, and turned to walk out of the office and see where Red had gotten to. She felt as though she might explode if they didn't get outside soon.
XXX
They had taken a taxi to get to the doctor's office downtown and the ride back home was filled with a painful silence. Red sat staring out the window. Her hands were neatly folded together and she barely acknowledged Gloria's existence, so completely lost in her own thoughts she was. Gloria watched her out of the corner of her eye anxiously, as the driver turned down the quiet street to the pretty little house they had bought together almost five years ago.
Gloria paid the cab fare, then opened Red's door and helped her out. They walked up the path to their front door. They had a small lawn out front with green grass and bare garden beds that Red would ordinarily have already had flowers blooming in by this time. She had dedicated herself to making the front of their home picturesque and inviting since they had first moved in but hadn't been feeling well enough to tend to things this spring.
"That's something we could tackle together this weekend," Gloria said casually, motioning to the sparse garden. "Go to the store to decide on the flowers you want to plant this year. I'll help."
"I don't think I'll be feeling up to it," Red said sadly. She reached into her purse for her keys and then brought them towards the front door with a trembling hand. After bumping her house key unsuccessfully around the hole a couple of times, she sucked in her breath and held out the keys for Gloria.
"I think it would be good for you," Gloria replied, accepting the keys and swiftly unlocking the door. "We'll see how you are once the medication starts kicking in, but I expect you're going to start feeling a lot more energized soon." She held the door open for Red to walk in first.
"Until it stops working and I end up like those people in that waiting room we saw today," Red said miserably. Bringing her hand up to cover her mouth, Red sat down heavily upon the bench that was set by the door. "I just-I don't-"
"You can't think that way," Gloria pleaded. "Nobody can predict what is going to happen, but the doctor seemed hopeful that things could stay the way they are for a long time. You might never get to that stage, who knows? Let's just take this one day at a time."
Red looked up at her with misty eyes, "I knew that it was going to be bad news today."
"Honey—" Gloria sighed and crouched down on the floor so that she could help Red off with her shoes.
"This isn't what you signed up for," Red said, and her head started jerking back and forth more rapidly the more anxious she became. Her breath was quickening and as her chest began to heave, it became clear that she was beginning to hyperventilate.
"Hey, hey, hey," Gloria called, squeezing Red's kneecaps with her hands she looked up at her from her place on the floor, and willed for Red to return her gaze. "I'm here, okay? I'm not going anywhere and I never will."
As Red stopped looking wildly around and stared down at her, Gloria breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm in love with you," she reminded her. "And come what may, we're going to face it together. That's what I signed up for, and there's nowhere else I'd want to be because I belong with you. Do you understand me?"
"I don't-I don't want to ruin your life," Red whimpered.
"That would be impossible," Gloria told her. Climbing back to her feet, Gloria took the spot beside Red on the bench. She wrapped her into a hug and kissed her cheek. "You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. You are my life."