HOI! So I know I'm not around here very much but ...meh. I've recently refound (is that a word?) my passion in theater and I'm more than likely going to do a theater AU for Homestuck soon, but for now, I've been obsessed with making monologues. They're not too long - short enough to be used in one-minute auditions, most of them - but when read correctly they are awesome. (I'm going to use some of these in informal auditions haha, you can too if you want)
Anyways I'm just posting these sporadically soooooo to begin, let's do my favorite Universe B Alpha troll...
THE CONDESCE
My, my... It seems our home planet is in need of some assistance. What do you think, Psiionic? Should we help them?
...
No answer? *Sighs* Once again you have failed to meet my expectations, darling. I'm afraid if you keep this up any longer, I might just have to cull you. However, I need you and your powers to help me get around, as unbearable as it may be. You really should talk more, darling. Silence doesn't suit such a useful little thing.
Well, I suppose we'll leave them to be culled. After all, the rest if the universe is ours for the taking! Can you see it, Psiionic? The entire universe, in the palms of my hands. Ah, what a glorious picture. Now step up, dear. I can't have you slacking off when there's work that needs to be done. ... Come on now, I said step up! You won't even reply to my taunts with a simple flinch anymore, will you? Aww.
Why aren't you any fun anymore, darling? Remember, sweeps ago, when I so generously gave you your place on my team? You yelled and screamed at me so much then. Such happy memories. Why won't you speak now? ... Is it because of your little... friend? You remember him, you must remember. (High-pitched mocking voice) The little mutant rebel! Oh no, whatever shall we do?
It wasn't like he was a threat. Remember his death? Ah, that glorious day. ... Still no reaction? Fine then. Onward, Psiionic, for we have worlds without end to conquer! Ahahahaha!