In the Supernatural

by shadowhunterwizard

Jules has always known the supernatural existed. The problem came when it attacked her, throwing her into a world she always knew existed but didn't know would hurt her. Not a story where she believes in the TV show and is somehow sucked into it. Just a girl who's in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Before you read, it's important to know a few things. First of all, I don't own any of supernatural. Second, I started this when I was like 14 or something and didn't finish it until after I graduated high school. Because of that, the grammar in the beginning is pretty yikes, but it gets a lot better as time goes on. Maybe someday I'll go back to edit it, but not anytime soon. It has over 100k hits on Wattpad, but that's not saying much, since most stories on Wattpad are terrible... Well, anyways, hope you enjoy it! Love y'all

The first period bell rang, and I ran as fast as I could to class. The red and blue walls passed by in a blur, and I fell into a student on accident. I yelled across my shoulder and yelled, "Sorry about that!" I arrived to my a minute later.

Sadly, I was late. Luckily, the teacher wasn't in the room, so I didn't have much to worry about. Mr. Lawrence was late a lot, but he was a very strict man, and liked to get things straight to the point. He also refused to accept any excuses that went his way. Most of the other girls in my junior class thought he was the most beautiful thing to walk the earth, and while I could see why they thought that - with his brown curly hair, scruffy beard, dark, brooding brown eyes, and tall, thin stature - I just wasn't attracted to men that were 25. I sat down, smiling at my best friend Alyssa. The blue in her eyes sparkled when I walked in, and I knew it was because while she hated this class, she hated it more when I was gone, and she was glad I came.

She smirked, flipped her black hair, and said, "I would have laughed at you had he come, Julia."

"For the last time, my name is not Julia," I joked. It is Julia, but since I hate being called that, people know me a Jules. "And thanks, I love knowing my best friend is such a butt."

The class got silent the second before I said 'butt' so that was all anyone heard of mine and Alyssa's conversation. No one laughed and Alyssa stared at me in horror before I turned around in my desk and saw Mr. Lawrence standing there, staring at me. He seemed to have no emotion in his face whatsoever, but at the same time I had this aura that he was annoyed or angry with me. He stared at me, and after a while, someone coughed because it was quite awkward. That caught his attention and he looked away and started class from there. He pulled in one of the school TV's.

"Today, class, as a reward of finishing Jane Eyre, we will be watching the movie. I don't want anybody to talk. If you've seen the movie already, you can lay down and go to sleep. Just know that after the movie is finished I will be giving you guys a test on comparing and contrasting the book and movie in details." He turned and put the DVD in the player, and started the movie.

Over all, the first hour of the movie was good. We had to stop it from there, however, and because class was almost over. I picked up my bag and ran out of the classroom before Mr. Lawrence could say anything.

The day was pretty boring. And so was the next. And the next. All I did was do homework, read books, and read more stuff about the supernatural. Alyssa thinks it's weird that I'm so obsessed, but I can't help it, and there's nothing anyone can do to make my obsession go away.

Everything was normal until Wednesday, when things got weird. Three different girls from my school were found dead. Not in the school, but in weird places. They had been drained of blood, and their bodies had been damaged in unspeakable ways. All of them were girls, with light brown hair and bluish-green eyes, just like me.

Thursday afternoon I hung out with Alyssa. We went to the movies and she had a late night at my house. We laughed for hours until we couldn't anymore, and when she left, I texted her to make sure she got to her house okay. She did, luckily.

On Friday I went to school, and was late again to Mr. Lawrence's class. This time, however, he was in the classroom, and seemed quite annoyed that I was late to his "precious classroom time" as he so liked to put it. I sat in the chair, burning red from his glare, but preceded the class as usual. We finished Jane Eyre, and in my opinion, it was a rather good movie.

Alyssa wasn't there today, so I texted her asking her about it. With which, she responded, I'm sick, I knew I shouldn't have had that much candy.

After school, I walked to my English classroom slowly, dreading what punishment Mr. Lawrence was going to decide for me.

As I walked in the room, I felt cold. Not in a 'wow it is cold in here, someone should turn on the heater,' way, but the kind of cold that I had felt only thrice before. It was a feeling that something was not right, and something of the supernatural was around.

I waited in the room for thirty seconds before the feeling overwhelmed me and I had to turn around and leave. I did an awkward walk-run thing all the way to my car. I sat in it quickly, and huffed out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding in. I ignited the engine and started on my way to the gas station, as I was on E.

I wished I had brought my salt with me in my car today.

The gas station wasn't too far away, so I wasn't in much danger of breaking down. Luckily, I made it there in time. I got out of my car, paid, and started to fill it up. I closed my eyes for a minute and leaned against my car, enjoying the feeling of the cool spring air. I heard the gas stop, so I sighed and opened my eyes.

Mr. Lawrence was two feet away from me, staring at me angrily. He said, "you didn't come in after class like I told you."

I apologized, saying, "I'm sorry, sir, it won't happen again."

He kept control, tilting his head to the side slightly. He said, "I need you to come with me. Right now."

"What? No! I have to go home and do the homework that you assigned. I'll come in on Monday, is that okay?"

He stopped moving completely for a second, before moving close enough where I could hear his quiet whispers. He said, "come with me, or not only you will be in trouble, but your parents will be as well." Mr. Lawrence sounded serious, and I could hear the double meaning behind those words. I didn't know what was going on, so I just obliged and went with him.

Mr. Lawrence was driving a car I had never seen before. It was a big red truck, the same kind I had always wanted. I sat down quietly in the passenger's seat, Mr. Lawrence right behind me, closing my door for me, and then locking them. I tried to open them as he came around, but no matter what I did, the door would not become unlocked. I started panicking. What was I doing, following him in here? What. An. Idiot.

He opened the driver's door, not even touching it, and sat down. The engine started on its own, and before I knew it, we were driving away from the gas station, so close to my house. I became impatient quickly and asked, "Where are we going?"

My teacher snapped his head at me and growled. I screamed when his eyes turned from dark brown to full black, including the whites of the eyes.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, was a rational part that said to me, "You're not really seeing that. You're just traumatized." But the more potent thoughts of my brain told me that I was right, that the supernatural does exist.

The scream that I let out, as quick as it was, angered the thing that was right next to me. It lashed out against my face and cut it. I was silenced with the pain, it burning from the tip of my left ear to the edge of my mouth, and it was deep. I put my hand up to my face and pulled away, my hand soaked with blood. I took my shirt off quickly and pressed it hard to my face to keep the blood from pouring out. I sank down in my chair, my head was burning with pain. I scrunched my eyes shut and kept them that way until I felt the car stop.

The door opened wide and I was pulled out of the chair. I gasped in pain. My head was rocking and stars were being seen in my eyes. I couldn't see where I was going, but I could feel the walls that I was running into. I was sure I was in a house.

I fell into walls several times before it, the thing in Mr. Lawrence's body said, "Stop falling around or I will make you regret it."

"I can't see!" I cried out. "Just make it stop!" It pushed me again and I blacked out.

woke up to the cold air against my overheated face. The pain in my cheek had faded and when I opened my eyes, I took in my surroundings, grateful that I could see again.

I was in what looked like a basement; the walls were bare, as was the floor, not counting the pile of blankets that were piled on top of me. A staircase that led upstairs was on the far opposite side of the room.

It was so quiet the only sound I could hear was that of my soft breath. I sat up too quickly, and pain in my head exploded, but only for moment. I leaned over, my long straggly hair covering my face. My hands went up to my forehead as I put my fingers against my temple, trying to soothe the small headache that was there.

I stayed like that for a while, trying to compose my thoughts. I needed to assess the situation before trying to leave.

I couldn't come up with anything important. The only thing I could do was go through the door. I was unsure that it would work, but it was the only option I had.

I stood quickly, ready to move. The cold air hit my body when all the blankets fell down around my feet. I froze and looked down at my body. I was wearing nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

I grew angry and looked for any bruises. I found none except the ones on my upper arms, in the form of hands.

Although I was glad for no other pain, I couldn't help but be both pissed and scared at the same time.

I couldn't leave like this

I sat back down, covering my body with the blankets, but leaving my head poking through.

The knob from the door at the top of the stairs rattled. My blood went cold and I shivered, despite being wrapped up.

The door swung open, darkness behind him. How could he see where he went in that darkness?

"I see you're awake." He talked in barely more than a whisper, but I felt like he yelled.

He didn't move from where he stood. He just stared, trying to figure me out. I waited for him to say something, but he didn't. Eventually I said in quite possibly the most quiet voice I had ever used, "What do you want?"

His head jerked backwards. When we made eye contact again, his eyes were full on black, like they had been the day before.

Suddenly I knew what I was really dealing with.

"I want to know where the Winchesters are." He still whispered.

My head tilted to the side. "Who?"

"Like you don't know."

"I don't know. Just let me go, I don't have any information on the Winchesters, I don't even know who they are."

I blinked, and in that millisecond, Mr. Lawrence's body was several inches from mine, his nose almost touching my own. His eyes were full black. It had been unsettling from far away, But it was terrifying up close. You could see the tiny grayish veins that accompanied it.

I gasped and pulled back, but he grabbed my arms.

His whole countenance had changed. Mr. Lawrence yelled, "I KNOW YOU KNOW THEM! DON'T LIE TO ME; NOW TELL ME WHERE THEY ARE!"

Tears prickled in my eyes. "I-I don't know them. Please, let me go!"

He growled loudly, and pulled the blankets off of me. He shoved me against the hard basement floor, and set the blankets on fire, without any tools.

I started sobbing, trying not to imagine what was going to happen next. Mr. Lawrence picked me up, and I started thrashing around in his arms, trying to get out, but they were strong and he didn't budge.

I was embarrassed.

He carried me up the basement stairs and into a room. There was nothing on the walls, no furniture, emptiness, just like the basement. There was no electricity so it was cold, and I was shivering.

Through that room, he pulled me into another room. This room was different than the others because it had furniture: a long, metal table, and a cabinet filled with who knows what.

Mr. Lawrence's body set me down on the table and strapped me in. I started to scream, "Help me! Somebody!" but, not a surprise to me, nobody came.

My body was flat against the table, and my arms were stretched high above my head. My fingers prickled from loss of circulation.

Mr. Lawrence walked over to me and, from the top of my side - about where my armpit was - to my love handle, used the knife that was in his hand, all the way down. A trail of blood trickled out, but it pooled on the side.

I screamed from the pain and almost blacked out, but no matter how hard I tried to close my eyes for good, they wouldn't close. He would slice all up and down my arms and legs. He would hit me, and whip me with a metal thin bar.

This went on for hours, but I didn't have any information on the Winchesters, so I couldn't tell him what he wanted.

The next morning after I woke up, every one of my cuts had vanished. I was still in the same position, and I couldn't feel my hands or feet any longer because of the position, but all the cuts and bruises were gone.

Mr. Lawrence came in and repeat everything he did to me yesterday, and would often yell at me, practically begging for information. Every once in a while he tried to get into my brain and see what I was thinking. I knew from a burning in deep in my cranium.

For three days this repeated. I'd wake up in the morning, my skin fresh, only to have him repeat the torture.

On the third day, he threw the rod away, and screamed, "IF THIS WILL NOT WORK I WILL HAVE TO TRY ANOTHER APPROACH!"

My body was still in utter pain before it completely vanished. I looked down, and all the cuts and bruises were gone. I sighed and started to fall asleep, even though I was still crying.

"Oh, no, you don't." Mr. Lawrence unstrapped me and picked me up. I was too tired to move so I couldn't fight him off. I closed my eyes but he shook me. I looked back up and realized we were back in the basement. There were more blankets than before, and he laid me down on top of them roughly. I curled over, giving up. Until I heard a zip.

I turned around quickly, but shielded my eyes when I saw something I had never hoped to see: Mr. Lawrence with no clothes on. I started sobbing when I felt his hands grab my arms. He yelled, "Look at me!" I did.

"Good," he said. "Since you won't respond to me any other way, let's see if this works."

I started sobbing, "No, no, no, no, no," but no matter what I said or did, nothing stopped him. Mr. Lawrence's - or should I say his body, because that was not Mr. Lawrence - spread my legs apart, and scarred me in a way I was never hoping to be scarred.

With tears streaming down my face, I said, "No, stop, please I know this isn't you, just stop."

"Might as well enjoy this human body while I can," he said.

It hurt, I was in so much pain that it was all that clouded my thoughts, and I screamed.

Words came to my mind, and without thinking, I spoke them out loud. "Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus."

Mr. Lawrence seemed to stop momentarily. He shivered and gave me a look of both anger and terror at the same time.

I repeated the words, because it was all I knew. "Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus. Exorcizamus Te, omnis immundus spiritus. EXORCIZAMUS TE, OMNIS IMMUNDUS SPIRITUS!" I started to yell it and Mr. Lawrence pushed himself out and off of me. I kept yelling it and yelling it until he himself started screaming. Once more I yelled it and a black smoke threw itself out of his mouth. It was gone before I knew it, and Mr. Lawrence fell to the ground.

I scrambled over to my teacher as fast as I could, though I couldn't move my legs very fast because I was still in pain. I put my fingers to his neck to check if he was breathing, and luckily, he was. I started to shake him and yelled, "MR. LAWRENCE? ARE YOU OKAY?!"

I gave up when I realized he wasn't going to wake up any time soonBut then I realized something. I didn't want him to think he had done anything, so I moved back over to where his clothes were and grabbed them.

Quickly, before he woke up, I put all of his clothes back on him. When I finished, I wrapped myself back up in the blankets and laid down, ready to go to sleep. Darkness engulfed me and soon I was free of my thoughts.

"Jules, are you okay?" I woke up to the sound of a man's voice. I was shaken, and quickly sat up, bumping heads with my English teacher.

"Ow," I groaned, putting my hands to my head.

He stared at me, tears in his eyes. "Jules I am so sorry, I don't know what happened. Are you okay? We need to get you to the hospital, now."

"I'm fine," I tried saying, but Mr. Lawrence kept talking to himself, ignoring my input. He picked me up, still wrapped in blankets, and carried me out to the red truck that had brought me here before.

He ignited the engine and we went on our way to the hospital.

He mumbled to himself all the way there.

"I'm okay," I tried assuring him again.

He hit the dashboard. "I remember, Jules! I remember. I remember everything I've done. I remember... I remember."

Mr. Lawrence, in his disheveled clothes, carried me straight into the emergency room, so fast I wouldn't have believed it true. I laid my head against his chest and closed my eyes, and he held me in a fatherly way. It might have seemed weird, considering all that had happened in the past several days, but I knew it wasn't him that did all of that.

It was the first time I realized that he could be actually nice.

The lady at the front desk gasped loudly and said, "What's wrong with her?"

Mr. Lawrence hesitated. "I found her, I don't know what happened, and she won't tell me."

I was glad he didn't say the truth. It wasn't his fault. He had a life. He shouldn't get in trouble for what he didn't do.

The nurse called us in quickly as possible, and I was laid down in on a bed. Mr. Lawrence was in a corner calling my parents, talking to them in a worried voice, while the nurse was examining me. She tried taking off the blankets around me, but I panicked.

"Don't touch me!" I snapped. I knew I hadn't healed overnight.

She looked worried. "Sweetie, what happened?"

"Nothing you need to worry about."

She paused and handed me a robe to put on. "I'll be right back," she said.

I put on the robe on in the bathroom as soon as she left. Mr. Lawrence refused to leave the hospital, and twenty minutes later my parents showed up. The nurse still hadn't returned.

My mother wrapped her arms around me while my father choked up in the corner, talking to Mr. Lawrence. My teacher played dumb and I went along with him, saying I could hardly remember anything.

"I am just so glad you're okay," my mom cried. I bit my lip as tears formed. I hated lying, but I couldn't tell her what really happened for two reasons: Mr. Lawrence would go to jail and people would think I was crazy. So I didn't say anything.

I was also in a lot of pain.

Thirty minutes later the nurse came back and pulled me into another room for examination. I let her this time because no one was around.

Several times she sighed sadly when she realized what condition part of my body was in. I had bruises in between my legs, on my arms, my stomach, and face. I had the long cut from my ear to the side of my lip from the first day. People were going to ask about that.

"Do you know who did this to you?" she asked.

"No, I couldn't see his face," I lied. "He just picked me up outside my house when I went home."

She kept asking me questions that I couldn't answer so eventually I quit talking. The nurse seemed frustrated, but she gave up, and I was allowed to go back to the hospital room.

The cops showed up around 2 pm later that day. They asked me a ton of questions, questions that I - quite rudely - refused to answer. One man walked in wearing a sheriff's uniform, after his men had given up.

He had sandy blonde hair that was short and green eyes. His nose was far too big for his face, and his thin lips were set in an eternal scowl. I internally groaned because, just from the look on his face, I could tell he was a person that wouldn't let you get away with anything.

"Hello, Jules," he said in an overly sweet voice, though I could tell he was just trying get me in a zone of comfort.

Well, sir, sorry to dissapoint, but I am not in any place of joy. "I'm Sheriff Coldwell. It's nice to meet you. I'm going to have to ask you what happened," he told me.

"I don't know what happened!" I said, acting exasperated. I slumped into a lower position, aciting like I was really tired of everything. "I already told your men and the nurse that I don't remember much. I would appreciate it if you guys stopped asking me all these questions!"

He paused. "Much?"

I looked down, angry over the little slip. "I remember being taken and waking up at the hospital. Nothing in between."

Sheriff Coldwell didn't give up asking me questions for a long time. Some things were simple, like, Did you know where you were? Could you tell me who the man was? Why do you think this would happen? and some were a little bit harder. Example: Do you know of anyone who holds grudges against you? Have you done anything to make anyone angry? Do you know of any relatives that are against your parents, maybe?

But whether they were hard or easy questions, I felt like I honestly couldn't answer them. I didn't know my real parents. I've never met anyone that has been openly hostile to me. Maybe somebody does hate me, I just don't know about it. I mostly ignore everyone, and everyone ignored me... I honestly wouldn't be able to point out any person in particular that loathed me that much.

I grew tired of all the worrying and thinking so I pretended to fall asleep. Finally, giving up after so many hours, the Sheriff said, "Okay, I think you're free to go."

I went home and at night I thought about all the awful things that had happened in the past few days. Not only just to me, but what if those girls that died had the same thing happen to them? And they didn't even survive through it.

I couldn't decide which was worse. Having to live through it, or die because of it.

"Jules, wake up, I have something for you."

I opened my eyes and the first thing I saw was my mothers smiling face, and when I saw her smiling face I, myself, smiled.

I hadn't realized I had fallen asleep. One minute I was laying on my bed reading one of my favorite books, Interview With The Vampire, and the next I was being woken up to the sound of my mother's soft, smooth, soprano voice.

She looked kind of like me, which was weird, because I was adopted. She had the same eyes and face shape. Other than that, we were different, her with her fire red hair, and me with my brown. My mother was short and curvy and very beautiful.

My parents met when I was born. It took two years for them to get married. They tried for a two more years to have a child, but it just wasn't happening, so they adopted a little girl from a little orphanage in New York.

The girl they adopted was me. I don't remember much from when I at the orphanage. I could vaguely remember times when I would get in trouble and I would have to go to bed early, but I guess it couldn't have been too horrible of a place if I didn't remember the bad.

She handed me breakfast in bed. It was full of eggs, toast, and bacon. I wasn't that hungry, but I just smiled and said, "Thank you."

"You're welcome, sweetie. Your father and I have to go to work today. Are you going to be okay here at home alone?" She asked me.

I smiled. "Of course I am. Have fun at work, okay?"

"Can do." She kissed my forehead. My father walked by my bedroom door right then and came in to kiss my forehead also.

"Bye, bud," he said.

My parents left then and after trying to go back to sleep but failing, I went downstairs to watch a movie.

After making tea, I put on Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Halfway through it, however, I did fall asleep, content as I listened to the sound of the beginning of the time changing scene, even though it was my favorite scene. I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore, and I wished that, like Hermione, I could go back and change time.

The sound of the door knocking jolted me awake, making me hit my arm on the corner of the coffee table. The closing credits of Harry Potter were playing. I hurried to get up because the person outside knocked again. I looked down at myself, and noticed I wore my sweats and tank top, with no bra.

"Shoot," I muttered.

As I put my hair in a messy pony tail, I managed to yell, "Just a minute!" Quickly pulling my duvet around me, I hurried to the door.

I opened it just enough to poke half of my eye through. There were two men, and they both looked to be around the age of 30, though I wasn't sure. One was extremely tall, and even though I neared six feet, I had to look up to meet his eyes. The other was only one or two inches taller than me, so it wasn't hard to look into his eyes. The taller one had brown shaggy hair and golden-brown eyes. The other man had short light brown hair with green eyes. They were both in suits and fancy shoes.

"Excuse me, ma'am, we are looking for Miss Julia Allison," the taller one said.

I stared at him for a second before saying, "That would be me. How can I help you?"

Both of the men pulled out a wallet from the inside of their pockets. They opened them to me and it said they were from the FBI.

The shorter one said in a deep voice, "I'm Matthew Banks and this is my partner Charles Wolfe. We'd like to ask you a few questions about the kidnapping that recently happened. Do you mind if we come in?" He smiled.

I smiled back, taking in the surroundings. I looked behind them and then back at each of them, smiling wider, a small bit of bitterness creeping into it. "Do you mind if I see your badges closer?" I asked innocently.

They agreed, and I grabbed them both, scrutinizing the badges and the case they were in. I handed them back after a minute of inspecting them.

Just as I thought.

I stared into Mr. Wolfe's eyes and gave him a look.

"You're not from the FBI," I said.

He looked confused. "Yes, we are. If you don't want to answer our questions inside, we don't mind having the conversation out here."

I paused and said my next sentence very arrogantly, quickly, and knowingly. "I know that you guys aren't part of the FBI. You're driving a 1967 Chevy Impala. FBI workers are not allowed to drive their own cars. On your badges, the numbers are incorrect because you have two numbers more than you need, and the case that's holding them? Hand-stitched. The stitches weren't even enough. The facial expression that you made while you were talking was too flat so you couldn't have been honest with me. The shoes you are wearing are not the type that FBI agents wear." I paused. "And I'm a minor. You didn't even ask if my parents were here. Now... Tell me why you are here honestly and then I'll let you in. We can have a chat then."

The two men seemed shocked. Mr. Banks just stood with his mouth open and Mr. Wolfe stared at me before saying, "How... How did you know all that?"

"I do my research. Now, what can I do for you boys?" I said.

"We just want to ask a few questions about what happened, that's all," Mr. Banks said. His voice had changed. It was calmer, more honest, so I agreed and opened the door wider, inviting them into my house.

I sat down Indian style on my favorite recliner while they sat on the couch opposite where I was sitting. They seemed a little uncomfortable with my piercing stare at them.

"So what are your questions?" I said.

Mr. Banks gazed at me and asked, "What kinds of things happened with the kidnapping?"

My face turned red and I looked down at my now cold cup of tea. I picked it up and stared at the cold liquid. I pulled the duvet closer to me, trying to shield myself from embarrassment, and said, "What kinds of things do you mean?"

This time, it was Mr. Wolfe who talked. I liked him better. He seemed more sincere, like he actually cared. "Did anything strange happen that didn't seem... normal?"

"Besides being kidnapped?" I chuckled nervously and looked up at them. They didn't laugh. I gulped. "Um... Well... Do I have to say it out loud?"

"I think it would help."

"Help who?"

His eyebrows lowered. "Everyone."

I took a deep breath. If I didn't take it, I wouldn't be able to breathe again. "I know who did it. The body who stole me. But it wasn't him. There was something wrong with him..." My sentence drifted off.

"Did it seem like he was... taken over by something else?" Mr. Wolfe said.

"I don't know which would be worse; me being right, or me being crazy."

"Please, Julia, tell us. I'll believe you, whatever you say."

I nodded, and decided why the hell not. "He wasn't him. I know it wasn't him. His eyes were black sometimes. He even told me he would enjoy his 'human body' while he could... Trust me, it wasn't normal."

They both stood straighter and gave each other looks.

"I knew it. You guys think I'm crazy. Everyone does, that's why I wouldn't tell anyone. Just leave." I pointed to the door then put one hand on my forehead.

It was quiet for a second and nobody moved. I looked up from behind my hand and said, annoyed, "Well? You going to leave or not?"

Mr. Wolfe looked sympathetic before saying, "We believe you, don't worry. I want to know what happened."

"I don't believe I want to tell you what happened, sorry." I smirked, even though I could feel the sadness and anger and pain on the inside.

He was about to say something else when Mr. Banks butted it. "We aren't really Matthew Wolfe and Charles Banks. Just so you know." Mr. Wolfe slapped him upside the head.

I chuckled. "I know that, I'm not stupid. If you had a reason to lie about being agents, you'd lie about your names. It's fine, really. What are they?"

"I'm Dean Winchester, and this is Sam. We're brothers."

I blanched and clung to the duvet even harder. My body shook, and logically I knew none of this was their fault, I didn't want them associated with me, just in case it happened again. I hissed, "Get out of my house."

They looked shocked for the second time. Sam stood up and walked towards me, but I cowered away. "Get out of my house." I whispered.

"What's wrong?" he asked. I almost started crying, but refused to let the tears out, so I just sat against the chair, staring at the two boys hatefully. "Did someone say something about us? Was it the thing that took you?"

"Leave me alone; don't ever talk to me again. I don't want that to happen to me again. Leave. Go."

The two boys stared until I got up and walked to the hallway in short steps. My eyes never left theirs. I felt like prey.

I heard them start to whisper to each other, careful that I wouldn't hear them. The door shut, and I was able to sink down onto my hands and knees where I was able to let the waterworks out.

I felt so... so dirty, about what that thing did to me and my body. I had always thought that I would lose my virginity after I was married. Not to some evil thing possessing some guy. And my teacher, which made it probably 20 times worse.

I sat in the hallway for a long time, and eventually laid down on the soft carpet. I calmed down enough that I could breathe properly, and then I just laid there, staring at nothing for who knows how long.

The front door slammed shut, and I heard my mother yell for me. I was currently sitting on my bed reading. I yelled back, "I'm up here!" I looked at the clock and it red 8:00 PM.

"Okay, just making sure!" She yelled back. "I'm going to make some homemade spaghetti is that okay?"

"Mom, that's more than okay!" I loved spaghetti, it was my favorite food. Especially when it was homemade.

Pots and pans banged against each other and I knew my mom started cooking downstairs. The sounds of chopping and sizzling of certain spices and vegetables made me super hungry.

I put down my books and started walking downstairs. I tripped over my sweatpants, the feeling of falling making my heart race, but I thanked the heavens as I caught myself.

The smell intensified and made my stomach growl all the more.

"Mom," I whined, "When is it going to be ready?"

Her back was to me. She was stirring the cooking noodles, but she didn't respond.

"Mom?" I asked, now unsure.

Abruptly she fell, hitting her head against the side of the pot. The boiling noodle water fell on top of her. She didn't do anything. Didn't make a sound, didn't even writhe in pain. I wanted to cry for her.

"Mom!" I screamed, and scrambled over to her.

Her eyes wouldn't open. I checked her pulse, and she was breathing, so that was okay. "Mom, you better be all right," I whispered.

I ran over to the sink and filled up a large cup with cool water, and poured it over the place where her skin was burning. There were several blisters on her arms, where most of the water got on. I gently peeled off all of the long noodles, then peeled off her shirt, not wanting it to get worse.

I decided the cup of water wasn't enough. Despite the pain my body was already in, I pulled her up over my shoulder and began to carry her body to the shower.

At barely five feet, I didn't usually have too much of a problem carrying her. But my legs and stomach were bruised. I limped to the bathroom, and as grntly as I could, Set her body in the shower.

I grabbed the shower head and turned on the cold water. It fell on her skin, and I could almost see the steam rising from the difference in temperatures. I began to pray to whatever there was that she would be okay.

Just as I decided to get the phone to call 911, her head snapped to mine, making me jump.

She opened her eyes as quick as lightning and they were the same black as Mr. Lawrence's eyes were. The thing inside my mother pushed me, but I didn't just fall to the side. The thing gave my mother strength like I had never seen before, on anyone. I flew across the room and since the door was wide open, my back hit the family picture in the hall that we took when I was fifteen.

It shattered across the floor and I landed on top on the shards, causing me to lose my breath. The whole right side of my body was painted in blood. My blood.

"You have been such a liar, little girl," mom- the thing said.

"I - I don't know what you're talking about, honestly!" I managed to gasp out.

"I know you know where the Winchesters are. I saw them earlier today. You will tell me WHERE THEY ARE!"

My mother picked my whole body up with one hand. It screamed and with a flick of the wrist, I was thrown into the living room, hitting the window this time. Vaguely, I heard the sound of car doors slamming, but mostly all I heard was the sound of ringing in my ears. I could see black spots in my vision; I must have hit my head when I flew like a bird. Ny mother's body came closer to me before I blacked out.

What a crazy dream, I thought. My brain was fuzzy so I didn't remember much of it, but the things that I did remember were some of the strangest I had had. I was wrapped in blankets and I was so warm.

My eyes refused to open for a long time. But when I was able to, I realized I didn't want to anymore.

I heard the door to my bedroom opened and someone walked toward my bed. I felt mom's gaze on my face. I could almost see the smile she wore because of my presence. It didn't matter that she had seen me almost every day for 11 years. She loved me and felt so grateful for me. She felt the same to my father; he still gave her butterflies.

"Jules, you need to get up now."

Wait a minute.

That's not my mother.

I jolted awake, and sat up too quickly. My head collided with something hard. Pain exploded behind my eyes and I scrunched my eyebrows, groaning. It took me a minute before realizing someone else made the same sounds as I.

I looked up quickly. "Sam?" I asked, surprised... So it wasn't a dream.

He looked at me strangely, his hand on his forehead. "Yes, it's Sam... Are you okay? Feeling any pain?"

"Well other than my head," I started, but gasped. My stomach let out a sharp pang and I hunched over. "Actually, maybe I could go for some food."

"Okay, let's go eat. What do you want?"

I thought about it for a second. "I want a bacon cheeseburger."

"A bacon cheeseburger?"

"Well, yeah... Do you have a problem with that? Are you a vegan? Sorry, I wasn't trying to be insensitive."

He made a face, and laughed. "No that's not it at all. It's just that you and Dean are going to get along just fine."

"Ooookay..." I paused. "Where am I?"

"In a motel. You're going to have to stay with us until we can hunt down the thing that's been hunting you. I'm sorry, it could be a while. But, you do have to stay. I'm sorry."

"Can't I go with a friend?"

"Usually we don't ask people to tag along with us, but this is a rare case."

I sighed. "Where are my parents?"

He froze.

I stared at him for a while, him looking at his hands as they fiddled, and I realized I wasn't going to get anything out of him.

I cleared my throat loudly, trying to ease the awkwardness that was settling in from the silence. When that didn't work, I said, "Well, how about that bacon cheeseburger? I'm hungry." I pushed the blue blankets off of me and sat up too quickly, causing me to fall over. I seemed to be doing that a lot lately.

Sam caught me just before I hit the ground. After I caught my own balance, I pushed Sam off of me. "You can stop that now."

One of his eyebrows quirked up. "Stop what?"

"Acting like I'm some damsel in distress." I laughed mockingly. "I don't need your help. I am perfectly fine on my own. I had last night under control."

"You mean when you almost flew through the window, right?"

I folded my arms. "I was going to get rid of it. I knew the words."

He looked disbelieving.

"I did! How else do you think I got the person's body back the first time? Hmm?"

His expression didn't change.

"Fine," I said. "Don't believe me. Just think about it. It was him that turned me in. Not one other person saw us for those three days."

"Three days?!" he exclaimed in horror.

"Yeah, and? Did you even do your research? If you're gonna be fake FBI agents, don't fake your knowledge. You won't get anywhere that way." Plus it's not that big of a deal, I thought.

Though it was a big deal. That was three days of my life that I would never get back. And other things I wouldn't get back...

Sam was about to ask me something else but I didn't want to hear anything else. I interrupted him, asking, "Seriously, are we gonna get that cheeseburger or not?"

Sam sighed and muttered something under his breath.

"Excuse me?" I said.

"I said let's go and get some food." Sam turned around and walked out of the room.

"Wait!" I yelled.

His head popped around the corner. "What?"

I shrugged. "I need some clean clothes." And I did. My tank top was tattooed in dried blood, and my sweatpants were ripped in several different places. At least they didn't try to change me themselves.

"Oh... Dean!" he yelled.

It was then that I realized the shower was running in the other room.

"What?!" he yelled back.

"Jules needs some clothes to borrow!"

"Why?" He sounded defensive.

"Just because! She's closer to your size! I'm going to let her bother your clothes.

I was, in fact, closer to his size, but that didn't quite mean that I was his size. I was probably half his size.

"Oh, never mind. I don't need clothes. I can just wear this," I said, indicating to my old dirty, covered in my blood, sloppy clothes. I shrugged like it was no big deal.

Sam said, "No, it's okay." He hadn't even waited until Dean had responded before searching through his brother's clothes. He threw a shirt and pants at me.

When I put them on, I came to the conclusion that I would be better off wearing my dirt stuff.

Deans clothes were much too big for me. I folded the bottom of the pants several times over, but still, they were too long, and which each step I took, they would fall down several inches. Deans t-shirt was definitely made for buff men because it was huge on the chest and arms - of which I had little - and the stomach was also very baggy on me.

"Um... Sam?" I called out.

"Yeah?"

I walked out into the main room. Its walls were tacky with pink flower wallpaper and the carpet was green, as if the designers were trying to use all of the colors to look like a pink rose.

The shower had just turned off as I walked out and it sounded like Dean was getting dressed. Sam was focused on the computer, his eyebrows scrunched up in concentration. I laughed out loud.

Sam's head looked up from the computer screen. "What's so funny?" he asked.

"It's not funny. It's ridiculous."

"What is?"

"This outfit! Look at me!"

He did, and he laughed too. "Maybe we should buy you new clothes."

"No, you don't have to. Just bring me back to my house and I can grab my clothes."

Once again Sam got a pitying look on his face. "We can't. We don't want you in any more danger."

I got angry. "Why do you even care?"

"Because this is what we do." I jumped a little when the voice that spoke didn't come from Sam, but came from Dean from behind me. His voice was rough and sounded angry. I turned around and he wasn't wearing a shirt, just a pair of shorts. His towel hung around his shoulders, allowing the water to drip from his hair.

The way he growled the words made me angry. "And what, exactly, is that?"

He narrowed his eyes at me. "We hunt. Things like you just saw and attacked you at your house. You do realize that that thing that tried to kill you was a monster."

"No, it wasn't."

He looked calm on the outside, but he was frustrated. He stood too straight, back tense, and the look in his eyes made it look like he wanted to kick me out and never look at me again. I involuntarily stepped back. "What do you mean?" he asked between teeth.

I crossed my arms, more to protect myself than be full of disrespect. "I'm not as naïve and stupid as you seem to think I am. I know that was a demon. And I also know that it was not there for me. It didn't want to kill me... I think it could have, but it didn't want to."

Sam, from behind me, asked, "What do you mean it wasn't after you?"

"It was looking for people. I'd never even heard their name or know who they were until I met them... When they tried to GIVE ME FAKE ID'S!"

Sam looked only a little bit shocked. "They were... they were after us?"

"Well, there were multiple times when Mr. -" I caught myself and stopped talking for a second, not wanting to give Mr. Lawrence's identity away. They probably knew already, but I didn't want to completely give him away.

I started over, much calmer this time. "When I was first taken, it told me plenty of times to tell it where the Winchester brothers were. Sadly, I didn't know. I don't even know why they asked me... But that's beside the point. It's going to find you guys, and it will do whatever it takes to make sure you're found." Then, because I wasn't thinking, I said in a much quieter voice, "I'm proof of that."

Sam just sat there, mulling it over in his brain, while Dean started to pull on a shirt, acting like it didn't bother him.

Dean said, "Well, it's nothing new, is it, Sammy? There's always something. I think they're all just jealous."

Still frowning, Sam said, "I told you not to call me that."

"You're fine. So, Julia, what did you say that it wanted with us?"

"I didn't."

"Well are you going to?"

"Maybe someday."

Dean looked angry now. His eyebrows had moved high on his forehead and his eyes read 'I am going to murder this child,' but instead of doing just that, he stared at me, took three deep breaths, and then said, "And why not?"

Because I'm afraid. "Because it doesn't matter." He must have noticed that my tone was final and I wasn't going to say another word because he blew out a big breath and left it at that.

"Seriously," I said, exasperated, "I am really hungry. Let's go." I turned to the front door and walked outside before anyone could answer me. I stood against the cold hard railing and took in a deep breath. "I just want to go home," I whispered sadly.

"Holy mother of monsters, this is delicious!"

Jules' eyes lit up as she took another bite of her cheeseburger. Dean sat next to me, holding his own bacon cheeseburger. He wasn't eating it, which meant something was bothering him. I understood how he felt.

Jules, on the other hand, looked alive. She sat still but her eyes smiled and she seemed to be as content as could be.

She had no idea what had actually happened.

Dean and I had been sitting in the impala for hours in front of Jules' house. My eyes were slowly closing, even though it was too early to go to sleep. Twenty minutes prior, her mom came home, carrying in just her purse and suitcase with her. My eyes were closing when Dean slapped my arm and said, "Sammy, look."

I snapped awake and moved my eyes to where he was pointing at - the kitchen window. Jules was slowly walking toward her mother, with a worrisome look on her face. She put her hand on the lady's shoulder.

Immediately, her mom fell to the ground and Jules screamed. She seemed to struggle as she picked her mother up and carried her down the hall. A minute passed, and I started to wonder if we should do anything.

My question was answered when Jules was thrown against her wall and the picture behind her shattered.

"Yeah, we better get going," Dean and I said at the same time. We ran out of the car, went to the trunk, and pulled out our knives with certain images engraved on them to kill the demons. It was only a few more seconds when we heard another crash.

I turned around and blanched, because Jules was halfway out of the window.

"Crap," Dean muttered.

We ran as fast as we could to her house and barged in. Her mother was holding Jules up, who was knocked out.

"Ah, the Winchester boys. I knew you'd show up," the demon-mother-lady said.

"Let her go," Dean said menacingly.

She laughed. "My pleasure." Then, still laughing, she chucked Jules on the floor, forcing her to roll over, right in front of me. She was limp.

She looked awful. Her clothes were torn and blood was everywhere, from where the glass had cut her skin.

It saddened me that this had to happen to a little girl.

I growled, "Who are you?"

"I don't have a name. I came to give you a message."

"Oh and what is that, oh secret one?" sassed Dean.

I would rolled my eyes if they weren't locked with the demon's.

The demon hissed and said, "This girl will be the death of someone you love. You already knew one person like her, who is now dead - "

"Who sent you?" Dean interrupted.

"I dare not speak his name." It launched itself at us, to our not-too-great surprise. We were prepared and I turned to the right, Dean to the left, and in a second, the blade in my brother's hands went right inside Jules' mom's chest. She screamed and the demon inside her died.

"Well, that got really bad really fast."

Dean hurried to the mother of Jules and felt her pulse. "She's dead," he said to me.

He looked sad for a few seconds until his face hardened and turned to Jules. He picked her up bridal style. "We better take her with us," he growled. He turned around and made his way to his car, about to make a very stupid decision.

The worst part of all this is wondering if I should tell her now or later. Sooner would be better in the long run, but Dean said she had to stay with us, and I haven't ever dealt with a teenager, unless you count Dean. But he was a teen when I was a kid, and he kept his emotions in check when bad things happened...

I was being selfish, I realized, and needed to get my own worry behind me.

~Jules~

I took the last bite of my burger, wishing I had a second one. My stomach was settling, though, so I didn't ask for another. Besides, I wouldn't want to owe the two brothers anything more than what I already owe them for.

I looked up from my plate, grabbing my water cup to take a sip at the same time, and discretely looked at Sam and Dean's faces . Dean's face, which was rather sharply sculpted and strong, was set in a frown, and his eyebrows were shaped in what I like to call the lost shape - which meant he was lost in deep thought. The look he wore made him look either disturbed or really frustrated. I couldn't tell the difference on anyone. Dean never really ate any of his burger. He played around with it, mostly.

Sam, on the other hand, looked strangely like a moose. Not an ugly moose, but sometimes people look like animals, and he happened to look like a certain large hump-backed creature that had antlers. Sam looked like millions of thoughts were running through his head all at once, and he couldn't keep up with them all. His eyebrows scrunched together. When he took a bite of his salad, his eyes followed his fork, but I was sure he didn't see it fully. His eyes were glazed over.

I couldn't tell whose facial expression worried me more.

I sighed and slammed my water cup on the table, causing the contents to spill over and several people to turn their heads towards us. Sam and Dean also snapped up to look at me.

Lifting my eyebrows in a 'no nonsense' shape, I said, "I need to know why I can't go home." If there was any thing to ask, that would be it.

Sam changed from moose to deer in headlights in two seconds flat. "I can't explain it to you right now. You'll know in time.

My eyes narrowed. I leaned in towards his head. I motioned him with my finger to come closer than before. He obliged, and I whispered in his ear, "Tell me right now or I will scream."

Dean, who wasn't able to hear me, asked, "What did she say?"

I looked at him, without an emotion on my face, and lifted my two hands up to Sam. I put all the fingers up and, in seconds, started to count down with him. By the time I got to number 3, I thought, If that's what he wants, that's what he gets. I sucked in a huge breath by 2, getting ready to scream. A millisecond before I said one, Sam put his hand over my mouth to silence me.

He looked annoyed that I was actually going to do it.

Dean still had no clue what was going on.

"Okay, okay, I'll tell you," hissed Sam from between his teeth.

I put my palm up, indicating him nonverbally to proceed.

He seemed to feel really bad about snapping at me, though, so he gave me - once again - a look full of clemency.

He said, "Jules... I don't think your mother made it past last night. "

I froze, knowing exactly what he meant. I didn't want to explore how or why or what time or even if she suffered, so I just asked, "What about my dad?" My voice quivered.

"He's taken care of."

A few seconds past of me frozen passed before I slumped down in my seat, feeling the slow dread that was filling my body until it reached my heart and poisoned it. It filled me with so much pain, but it went away just as quick, and I no longer felt it. I no longer felt anything. I was empty.

My mom was my best friend. Maybe it was because the only other friend I had was Alyssa, but she was. I was a mama's girl. She would take me to get my nails and hair done when we both had a free saturday. It wasn't often, but when we were able to, we both loved it. And on rainy days, she would give me a massage and play with my hair for hours while we rot our brains watching out favorite movies and tv shows. When I got in the biggest fight with my ex best friend, my mom was the one to hold me and sing while I cried into her shoulder. One time, she took me to the fair as a surprise and even got on the ferris wheel with me, even though she was terrified of going down on those things. And every morning she would tell me she loved me before she left for work.

I wouldn't ever hear that again.

And then there's my dad. He and I would go out on Tuesday nights to the movies, just us, because mom was always at work then. I just... I wasn't able to think about how much losing him would hurt, so I didn't.

I looked out the window and stared at the people passing by in cars. Nothing processed until something clicked in my brain. In my mind I could see the expressions Sam and Dean held when I was told that she died.

It was one of guilt.

"You killed them, didn't you?" I could hear the flatness in my voice, an I inwardly winced at how dead it sounded.

Dean had a look on his face that mafe him look like he was aching in pain. He said, "I am so sorry."

It was silent for a few short minutes until I whispered, "I'm sorry too."

The silence of the car ride back was one of the most intense I had ever felt. Sam kept looking back in the mirror to check on me, but I was too empty to cry.

Dean said that we needed to switch motels. The two men had been there far too long in there, so we packed up and went to another one.

Dean went in to get a room while Sam and I sat in the Impala, waiting. He came back out and gave us the key and instructed us to where the new room was.

It was only about four in the afternoon, but I was extremely tired, and I struggled to keep my eyes open. I didn't even bother help unpack anything, not that there was too much to pack. Instead, I laid down and went to sleep.

I was running. Running faster than I ever had before. What I was running from was unknown to me, but from my ultimate fear, I knew I had to get away from whatever it was. Up ahead I could see my destination, the light glowing in the brightest white ever.

I would be safe there, I knew. And if I didn't make it, I'd die

The creature slithered from behind me, slowly gaining speed. It was catching up to me, and fear pulsed through my body. I pushed my legs harder because the shadows from everything were following me. My chest constricted from the exertion.

I felt the creature scatch at my bare feet and I thought I was a goner, but then the light blossomed. It engulfed me in a fire-bright light and warmth surrounded me.

The place was beautiful. If I had to explain what it was, I would say that it looked like a gigantic greenhouse. Plants of every kind were there, from flowers, to cacti, to trees. The air smelled so clean and raw-earth-like. To my left were red flowers from the tropics, petals long and pointed, and the gel-like substance in the middle was slightly glowing, though it could have just been a trick of light. To my right there were purple and yellow fruits hanging from vines. I picked a purple one up and smelled it. It smelled just like the air: clean, but this had a sweeter essence.

I turned around to look at the shadows I was running from but they were gone. The walls of the greenhouse were covering the entrance I came from - if there even was an entrance.

This new place filled me with so much peacefulness that I simply smiled and sat down on the falled tree trunk right next to me.

"Julia Dorman. We meet at last."

I jumped and turned around, my heartbeat speeding up again. A man stood a few feet away. . He had a clean shaven face and dark hair. He was very blessed with pale skin and the bluest eyes I had ever seen. I would even go as far as saying they were blue eyes only described in books. He wore a trenchcoat, and I almost laughed at it.

"I am the angel Castiel. I was sent here to tell you the truth about your family." His voice was low and gruff.

I raised my eyebrows. "What about them?"

He stared at me for a long moment, then said, just as gruffly, "You're an orphan. You never once wondered about your real family. Your happy and blessed feelings with the family you stayed with quenched the curiosity. I wasnt supposed to tell you this so soon, but plans can change under certain circumstances. And under these circumstances... I will just tell you.

"Jules, Sam and Dean are your real family."

I made the oddest sound. "Get out."

"I do not understand what that means. I am an angel of the Lord. I cannot simply leave of here without finding a way of convincing you." Jeez, could his voice get any gruffer?

"Listen," I said, "I don't believe in angels..." I thought about something then, thinking it was a rational explanation. "I'm dreaming, aren't I?"

Castiel sighed and turned away. "Just ask Dean about me. Maybe you'll believe me then." he looked back at me, and drew closer, so his face was right in mine. His electric blue eyes stared into me, like he was reading my soul. I would have blushed if I wasn't dreaming. His extreme closeness made me uncomfortable. "And now, it is time to wake up."

I shot up out of my bed. My heart was pounding and I was sweating like I really had run like in my dream.

Gross.

Sam was sleeping on the other bed and Dean seemed to be snuggled up on the ground with a thin blanket and a pillow.

Guilt enveloped me. I should've really given Dean my bed, instead of having him sleep on the floor.

I didn't think I'd be able to go back to sleep after the dream I'd just had, so I got up and tiptoed to the bathroom for a shower.

Never in my life had I enjoyed a shower more. Even more than the time I had gone camping for 3 days and wasn't able to shower that whole time. I felt so disgusting, and getting clean felt like the only way I would be calm about anything.

The whole hour of my shower, I didn't think about anything, though. My mind was blank, and oddly I enjoyed it.

My hair was wet and stringy by the time I got out. Water dripped onto my shoulders, and by the time I got dressed (in some more of Dean's clothes) it was 4 in the morning.

I slept for 11 hours, before my shower. I laid on the bed and sighed, knowing it would be impossible for me to get back to sleep.

After thirty minutes, I gave up and sat up.

If my mom was here I would be able to tell her about my dream without her thinking anything odd about me dreaming of angels talking to me. She'd laugh and share her weird dreams she had when she was my age. I'd have heard them all before, but I'd laugh nonetheless.

I checked to make sure the two men were sleeping completely before I let go of the tears that were pooling in my eyes.

I didn't break down and start sobbing, like I thought I would have if I let it go. I just let a few tears release. It wasn't enough, and I spent a long time just staring at nothing.

When the sunlight started to stream through the cracks in the curtains, I forced the emptiness away so I would be fine for the day. The boys wouldn't see how miserable I was.

Sam woke up not long afterwards to shower.

Dean didn't sleep for much longer after that. The shower was just starting to run when Dean grunted and said, "They need to make motels that have three beds."

I laughed. His head shot up like he just remembered I was there. Maybe he saw the dark circles under my eyes, but he looked down at the floor. Then, as if something completely switched in him, he jumped up and said,"I have the perfect idea."

"Oh?"

"Yep. Today, you and me and Sam are going to go somewhere."

He sparked my interest. "Where?"

"To Batman's lair." I rolled my eyes. He laughed, and said mysteriously, "You'll find out soon enough."

"Are we there yet?"

We had been driving in the car for only twenty minutes, but I was growing incredibly impatient.

"You're acting like a 7 year old. Just be patient," Sam responded.

I groaned, folded my arms, and slumped back in my seat like a two year old pouting, instead of a 7 year old.

Dean hadn't said anything the whole ride until now, when he turned abruptly into a parking space and announced, "We are here, young one."

The building in front of me looked intimidating. I looked up and at the sign and read it, gasping.

"You're taking me to learn how to shoot a gun?!"

Really.

They both laughed. Sam said, "I guess." at the same time that Dean said, "Of course! We must restore balance."

Freaking nerd

I stared open mouthed as the two men got out of the car and as Sam opened the door for me. I scrambled out and said, "But I don't have any money."

Dean gave me a look. "We weren't expecting you to have any."

"Oh."

We walked inside the building. Only a few people were there, shooting at targets. The three of us walked up to the window and paid for the spaces. Dean was a better shot so he was the one to volunteer to teach me.

I was good. Not to be arrogant, but it was like I was born to do this.

Dean said, "Damn, Jules, you are a natural."

Okay, I can be a little arrogant.

It was 20 minutes in when I asked him the question that had been repeated in my head so many times. "Dean? Do you know someone named Castiel?"

He slowed his movements a bit. "Yes... Why?"

"Well, I..." something changed in me, and my mouth shut on its own accord. I tried to turn around and finish my sentence but my body wouldn't let me.

And that's when it clicked.

I was no longer in control of my body.

Over the roaring in my brain that came on all of a sudden, I could hear Dean say, "go on..."

My own voice, without my permission, said, "Oh, it's nothing."

I knew it was a demon. It was obvious, because what else could it have been? Vampires didn't controls minds, from what I'd heard. Neither did shapeshifters. I'd heard witches can, but I had the strongest feeling it wasn't a witch because I felt icky and weak.

The demon inside my mind fought me. It took me so much willpower for me to just whisper, "Dean... Help me."

I watched as his eyes widened with realization. And that was when I lost all control of my body.

My arms pushed Dean off of me, with a new strength that I hadn't had before. He flew all the eay to the other side of the room, leaving his knife beside me. Sam, who was right next to Dean when he landed, stared at me. His arms held a bit of food, and he dropped a bit of it.

Any other circumstance and I would have laughed.

My head whipped towards his and I said, in a slow, agonizing tone, "Ahh, Sam and Dean Winchester. It has taken me so long to find you. You're very good at hiding, you know."

Dean, who was struggling to stand up, growled, "Get out of her."

"I don't think I will." I heard my voice say. It was a weird thing, to hear your voice say something you've never said. My mind and soul were exhausted from fighting against this demon inside of me.

Through all this, Sam just stood there, and I could tell he was trying to think of some way to get it out of me without hurting me.

"She's got a very intelligent mind, this one. She just doesn't know it yet," said the demon.

Dean laughed. "Are you complimenting her?"

"Actually, I am. But not for you. This girl right here will be the cause of death to someone you love. And she will do it with the strength of her own mind, her own power. If you want people to be safe, give her to us. We can help her."

Sam snapped out of his trance. "Who are you working for?!" he shouted.

"You have already asked one of my followers this. You shall know when the time comes..." Then it paused, and started to talk to me through its mind, so no one on the outside could hear us.

"Jules," it said, " I am your friend. We are destined to be one. Let me have your body, and you will be rewarded. You destroyed one of my followers with just one sentence. No one has ever been able to do that, to any demon before. Me and you- we are meant to make each other stronger."

With each word it thought, I got angrier and angrier. "I am not meant to be a tool for you," I thought back.

"You are, though, Julia. I have had a recent revelation, and I need you."

"I don't need you though."

"Not yet."

A strike of fear and frustration shook me. Energy and adrenaline coursed itself through my thoughts and I was able to take control again, but I had only moments.

I ran forwards a few feet and grabbed the knife Dean left on the ground, knowing it would get rid of the demon. I didn't care about myself, I just needed this thing to die.

Vaguely, I could hear Sam running towards me. He was all the way on the other side of the building, though, so I was able to do what I needed to do.

Ignoring the demon that was scratching and tearing at my mind, leaving mental scars, I looked at Sam and said, "I'm sorry."

Right as I rammed the knife into my stomach, black smoke flew out of my mouth. It felt like my stomach and lungs were being jerked from the inside. It tasted bitter and cold.

He yelled, "Jules, no!" but it was too late.

Before I hit the ground, it wasn't Sam, but Dean that caught me. He must have moved extremely fast to get to me in time. He was breathing heavily but still, he caught me. He said one thing to me before the stinging pain in my side was too much to handle and I lost consciousness. He said, "I got you. I got you."

Beep beep. Beep beep. Beep beep. Beep beep. Beep beep.

Shut up. Just shut up.

I could hear the sound of two thousand 'beeps' and it bugged the crap out of me. Literally. Okay, not literally, but I could literally feel like my nerves were being grated on. I tried to open my eyes but they refused to open as if they were glued shut. Vaguely, I could hear people talk but I couldn't focus on the words being spoken because all my attention was toward the annoying sound of 'BEEP!'

Something touched my hand. I could feel my fingers twitching. I tried to focus all my attention on moving it.

Someone whispered from far away, "she's waking up!" then, as if the voices got closer, "Come on, Jules, you can do it. Wake up."

I tried opening my eyes but it was hard, oh so hard. It felt like my eyes weren't even there. I reached out to find where anything was, but all I could see was darkness.

And then everything started to dissapear. Everything. My mind was leaving my body, and I knew what was going on. I was dying.

I could hear a soft but clear, womanish voice tell me, "It's your time. Don't be afraid. I'm here to help you. A reaper, that's what they call me. But don't worry, I won't hurt you. You will be safe."

Then, as quicjly as it left, it changed again. It felt like someone was yanking me by the arm, and I jolted awake. My body jerked foreward and I fell off the bed I was lying in.

It hurt. The impact of the floor against the right side of my body was sharp. I groaned and rolled over, wincing. My left shoulder was burning.

"Are you okay?"

Sam was standing over my body, a shocked expression on his face. He himself looked clean. I could tell by the way his hair was still wet from a shower and the water was dripping onto his shoulders. Even though I was on the ground, I was able to smell the soapish scent coming from him.

I said, "Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks." Then, as I tried to get up, I asked, "Where's Dean?"

Sam: "He went to the motel. He hasn't slept in a few days, so I forced him to go take a nap."

Oh. Wait...

"A few days?" I asked, surprised.

"Yeah, you were out for a while-"

Sam was inturrupted by another voice, a much higher and anmoying voice.

"You need to get right back in that bed right this second, you could be hurt!"

A doctor was the one who spoke. Her high, nasally voice grated at my skin, even though she only spoke one sentence. Her dark red hair was curly and going in every direction. She was wearing the ugliest off-white hospital clothes, except it was modified so that her chest showed.

She reached down and pilulled me up, checking for injuries. I sat down on the bed after my head started to worsen.

"I'm sorry I was late," she said, "I was taking care of another little girl. Poor girl was having a panic attack. I'm Dr. Zimmerman." She bustled around the room, looking for something. As she bent down, I saw (on accident, of course) a tattoo above her heart. It looked sort of like a sun, with a pentagram in it. I knew I had seen that sign before, I just couldn't tell from where.

Dr. Zimmerman got back up, medical tools in her hands, and came over to check on any "issues," as she liked to put it. All the while, Sam left the room to call Dean.

I was perfectly find. The doctor told me I could leave at the end of the day if there were no more complications. She laid me back down so I could rest. Gladly, I complied, just realizing how exhausted my body was feeling. Even though I was tired, however, my mind wouldn't stop turning, so eventually I turned on the TV.

The channels were flooded with so many family movies and shows that I grew really agitated. Where's the good stuff? Like sci fi and fantasy? What about action? I grew so frusterated that I turned it off.

Where were Sam and Dean? It had been at least 30 minutes since Sam left to give a phone call, and I was incredibly bored.

After another whole hour of waiting, I decided to call the nurse. I told her that I was hungry and wanted food, even though I was more bored than hungry. She ordered me something to eat that I had never heard of, which tasted like ambrosia, and I couldn't get enough of it, so I ordered another one.

My eyes were growing heavy and I was almost asleep when I heard a knock on the door. Groggily, I said, "Come in," as I thought that it was Sam and Dean. My eyes were now fully closed.

The door opened and I heard footsteps coming to the side of my bed.

"Jules, I don't have much time."

My eyes shot open and they stared at the voice's owner.

Castiel.

"What are you doing here?" I asked. So he wasn't a dream.

Castiel sighed and looked down at me, his cerulean blue eyes locking themselves to mine. I couldn't look away.

He said, "You need to tell Sam and Dean. As soon as they get back, tell them, because they're planning on taking you back home. They'll still watch over you, but it won't be enough. If you tell them, you can stay with them, and then your family will be safe, and so will you."

I was honestly confused. "Why do I have to be safe? I mean, it's not like there's anything special about me. Well, the thing said I was supposed to be 'one' with it, whatever that means. But... Why do I have to be the one to stay with the boys?"

Through my little speech, Castiel's eyes turned down a little in sadness. "You are special," he said, "you just don't know it yet."

I laughed ironically. "I'm really not. I get B's and C's on the simplest tests. I argue with my parents because I'm stubborn and kind of a brat. There are days when I literally do nothing except lay on the couch and watch TV or read a book. And even on the days that I do things, it's not like I'm helping anyone. I just... I'm a normal, obnoxious teenager that doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. Not that I'm completely unimportant, there's just nothing special about me."

During the middle of my rant, a few tears were produced in my eyes. I couldn't keep them down, so they fell down my cheeks, burning my skin.

Castiel looked sad. As if he really cared. He put his hand on my forehead in a fatherly way, and said, "You don't know what you will do, but just know, that I will always be watching over you. You are worth whatever you think you're not. Now, I must go. Do not forget to tell them. It is of the utmost importance."

I said, "I won't," but he was already gone.

I jerked awake. I had had a strange and scary dream, though I dont remember much of it. All I could remember is that Sam had hurt me. I dont know why it filled me with fear, as it was only a dream, but I felt off-put.

Sam and Dean weren't back yet. The clock read 8'oclock at night. Maybe they did come in, but as they saw I was asleep, they left? I dont know.

Maybe they were in trouble. Oh I hoped not. My head started to fill with worrisome thoughts, imagining everything that could have happened to them.

My tummy growled. Maybe food could distract me from these thoughts. I called in the nurse to get me some more of that ambrosia-like food.

Besides my hunger, I could tell that I was completely healed. I didnt think I could heal that fast, but as I had no experience in the matter, I couldn't say anything.

The delicious food was finished in no time at all.

I should have brought a book with me. Even though I was completely unconcious. Yeah. Logical.

By 9 I was so bored and worried that to distract myself. I was literally counting the seconds. 1, 2, 3, 4...

The door finally opened. I didn't even bother to look at who it was because I could smell their mixed smell of soap and sweat.

"7134!" I yelled rudely.

I could hear Deans voice say, "what?" his tone of voice proved how confused he was.

"7134 seconds since I started to count over an hour ago. And I was awake looooong before that. Where were you guys? I have waited hours and hours for you two." I ended my short rant with a little shake of my head. In reality I was super worried, but I was too embarassed to say that.

The two boys were in shock. I could almost taste how embarassed Sam felt and how angry Dean was getting.

Sam said, "Jules, I'm sorry. We had something to do. It was completely unexpected and I should have called at least. Do-"

"We dont have to explain ourselves to her," Dean interrupted. "We were busy. That's all you need to know."

Sam said, "Dean-"

"no, Sammy! She's 16 years old! She has it easy, just waiting here. When I was sixteen, I was doing a lot more that this girl was." He turned to me. "You-you have it easy. So don't complain."

It was silent for a few moments. I was debating whether or not I should tell him how I really felt or not.

I whispered, "What do you mean, 'I have this easy?' I was worried something happened to you guys. I'm not allowed to see my dad so it's not like I have anyone else besides you two, dammit. You dont even know everything thats happened to me. How can you know what is easy for me, and what's hard? Maybe I was just worried that something had happened to you two. Have you ever felt worried because the only people you had left were missing?"

The silence that followed was intense. The two men gave eachother looks, and I knew, right then and there, that those men had indeed felt like that, and at great lengths. It was quiet until Sam spoke.

"What do you mean we dont know everything?" His face was set in another pitying expression.

"There's somethings I can tell you and many things I can't. I was told to tell you guys one thing though, before it was too late. I really hope its not too late." I sucked in a huge breath and let it out. "You guys are my brothers."

Sam's expression was still pitying. But this one looked like he felt bad that I thought something utterly ridiculous. His expression was obviously saying that he thought I was not feeling well. I could almost hear his thoughts saying it.

Dean, on the other hand, started to look suspicious of me. "who told you that?" he asked.

"umm," I said, thinking back to what Castiel said before. "I don't think I can tell you... But you have to believe me! I'm telling the truth. Honestly."

"Jules," Sam said, "you're still delerious. You probably dreamt it." I shuddered visibly from the dream I actually had. "Are you okay?" he added.

"No, I'm not okay. You guys-you have to believe me. I-I was told by an angel." And then I regretted it the second I said it.

Deans eyes widened slightly. "What was this angels name?"

"I really can't tell you. I'm sorry. You're just going to have to believe me."

They didn't. I could tell from their expressions that they both thought I was just imagining things.

But I knew for a fact that I wasn't imagining things.

I sighed and knocked my head back on the pillow. "I guess you'll believe me in time. I want to stay one more night. I'm too tired to get up right now. I'll see you guys in the morning. 'Night."

They tried to talk to me, but my eyes were closed and I was ignoring them. I was really trying not to show them how frustrated and sad I really was because they didn't believe me. Castiel told me I needed to get them to believe me. I just didn't know how.

During the night I was awoken by my body rocking back and forth. I was being carried. Thinking it was just Sam or Dean taking me back to the hotel, I kept my eyes closed and just felt the way I rocked.

As soon as I felt the cold wind from outside, I knew there was something wrong. I couldn't be sure what it was until I tried opening my eyes and I couldn't.

Oh not again.

I could definitely tell that it was still night or early morning because behind my eyelids it was dark. And the temperature was colder than it was during the day.

A car door opened, and I felt my body get thrown into it, and it hurt really bad.

"Jules!" this was Dean's voice from far away. Too far away. "Stop! Let her go!" He was getting closer by the second, and my hope was rising. But, to my disadvantage, the car I was in started and drove away quickly. And I knew it was too late for him to save me.

Wow, that was dramatic.

The ride was bumpy. I was stuck in the fetal position on the floor and it seemed like whoever the driver was decided that driving over every singly rock there was on planet earth was the best thing to do. My head hit the wall a few times during sharp turns, and I was really getting a headache.

Whether it was minutes, hours, days, it wouldn't have mattered to me. The complete boredom and pain that I felt was extreme and I was getting sick of it.

When we arrived to whatever destination we were going to, the car door opened and I was pulled out and carried into another building.

This building was colder than outside, just without wind. It felt like one time when I was little and my mom took everything out to clean our fridge, and I stood inside the fridge for five minutes to scare her. I didn't think it would be as cold as it was, but by the time she opened the door, my lips were blue and I was shivering. The only way I could get warmed up was taking a nice warm bath.

I was that cold right now.

My body was set down on a cold table. I was being moved so that I wasn't in the fetal position anymore.

I could feel my comfort rise until I was put in a straight line and my hands were stretched high above my head. I felt a prick in my arm as I was held up. My wrists were tied and soon, I was able to tell that I was just hanging by my hands.

"Stop it. Whatever you're doing, just stop. Please." I was glad to see that I could speak now. With that new realization, I opened my eyes.

The dimly lit room was, to my surprise, less of a room, and more like a cave. There were silent sounds of steps fading away, upwards kind of. And from far away, I could hear the soft sounds of water echoing in the cave. The smell of dew and fresh grass filled my nose -thought I don't know why it would smell like that in a cave. The few light bulbs in the place hung from the ceiling, surrounded by cobwebs. My eyes scanned the room and in several seconds, I was able to tell that whatever took me was not a human. For one, there was-my goodness, I hoped was not human-bones piled on the ground, formed in what I could only hope was not a bed.. Another thing that gave it away was the fact that I had a tube running from a needle in my vein, leading my blood into a large drinking cup. And the last thing that made it pain-staking obvious was that after the footsteps came back swiftly, I was able to see the creature.

It looked, mostly, human. What gave it away was not the way it prowled like a lion searching for its prey, nor was it the strange markings on its face, but the colour of its eyes. If I didn't have proof of supernatural things, I would have said the guy wore contacts, but as it were, I did have the knowledge. The colour was white and black at the same time. The pupil was White while the iris was black, almost like reverse eye color. It was terrifying to see its eyes as it looked away, but when it turned its eyes to look into mine, I thought I might have had a heart attack from the intense stare.

Was I going to die here? After everything? Surely, my life couldn't get worst than it was. I knew I was kidnapped again, but I didn't want to die. I hadn't even gone on my first date yet.

I obviously was not thinking straight. My head was getting light from the slow loss of blood from the tube. It felt like a bad acid trip. Even though I never did drugs before, this was what people had always described it to be. And I hated it.

"Miss Julia Doorman," it said, "how are you this fine evening? Have you rethought your decision to allow me to help you in redemption?"

I lolled my head foreward, because I wasn't able to move it right. My muscles had relaxed completely and I had little control of my movements, though I was happy to not have anything else controlling me.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"I am someone you will become very close to if you do what I want for you to do. You will know who I am and everything about me, as I will know all about you. If you don't comply, I'm afraid you're going to have some complications with me."

"Oh yeah? What are you going to do?" I retorted, though I knew fully well what it could do to me.

"Just remember... I am very patient. I have a lot longer to live than to you."

I got quiet. All of a sudden I could feel the blood that was leaving my body. It was going faster, though it was still rather slow. My head started to pound and my fingers felt like needles were poking through them.

"Oh," I whimpered.

The rushing blood stopped. I was now weak.

The creature looked at me without malice. It looked at me like it really thought whatever it was doing was for the greater good- though it must be the greater good for people like it.

"you-gasp-are-not-going-to-win," I said. I wasn't sure what made me say that, but as soon as I said it, I could tell that a war was beginning.

It didn't say anything. It just turned around and went over to a cabinet that I hadn't seen when I first came in there.

From that cabinet, it pulled out a gun, and pointed it at my leg. "If you don't say yes, then I will shoot. And I'm sure you don't want that. Do you?"

"I will never say yes to you," I hissed.

It shrugged, and pulled the trigger. The bullet made its way right through my calf muscle.

It was less painful than I had expected it to be. At first, my leg just felt numb. I looked at the creature. It looked like it was waiting for something.

And then the pain ignited.

The hot poker ran into my upper right thigh. I screamed as loud as was possible with the little energy I had left. The pain blinded me momentarily.

"No!" I screamed through the tears.

I had gone through this many times. The creature -whose name I still didn't know - would poke me with hot iron, a knife, shoot me with a gun, and many more horrific things to get me to say "yes."

Unlike the first time I was tortured, my wounds didn't heal the next day. The injuries stayed so I was stuck in a life of pain that I couldn't escape.

I didn't understand why the demons wanted me to say yes. At first they wanted Sam and Dean, but now? They wanted me. I wanted to know their reasons for all of this. I needed to know their reasons for all of this. But I wasn't getting any information anytime soon with the situation I was in... Too bad I couldn't just die.

It had been four days since I had last seen Sam or Dean. Yesterday, I had lost faith that they were going to save me at all, just like a stupid damsel in distress like in movies. And my goodness, I hated those kinds of movies.

I honestly didn't know how I was still alive. I hadn't had any food since being taken from the hospital, and I had lost so much blood. Still hanging by my wrists, I was so weak, and I could barely lift my head up half the time. The only time I ever had energy was when a new pain would come my way, in which I would scream until the pain wasn't as sharp and my head would fall back down.

I could feel my resolution to always say "no" deteriorating. I didn't think I would be able to hold on for much longer. I was so tired, and I was so sick of the exhaustion. The amount of sleep that I had had in these past few days were minimal.

The creature looked at me once more with a cool expression.

"Julia," it said. "I will win."

I just weakly shook my head.

"All right, if that's really what you think... But you won't think it for long." It raised the gun one more time, aiming it at my left shoulder.

"Stop!" someone growled, in angry voice.

Instead of stopping, though, I was shot one more time. Whether it was for pure pleasure of watching someone scream, or one last chance to win, I'll never know. I screamed again, for the millionth time, and my head fell to the side, not being able to hold it up any longer.

"Jules!" another voice yelled, this voice deeper. Deeper in tone and deeper in the emotion protruding from it.

I couldn't raise my head, so instead I lifted just my eyes to look at the person. The lights were too bright, but I forced myself not to close my eyes, and when they adjusted, I was overjoyed to see that my hope was not in vain. I was looking at Sam and Dean Winchester.

Dean ran towards me, completely ignoring the creature, whom Sam was taking care of.

The second Dean made it to me, he untied me from the hanging rope. I dropped down, but not before he caught me. His arms were warm and he smelled like boy, all sweat and soap. It was so comforting to have someone that I knew hold me, even if it was like a baby. I felt safe again. Though, I was still tired. My arms had no circulation.

I looked up into Dean's eyes, so happy that he was there to save me. My mouth twisted in what was supposed to be a grin, but probably looked more like a grimace, and I taste the metallic taste of blood that opened from the side of my mouth, which had been gashed open. My voice was rough and weak when I spoke. "Thank you."

His eyes filled with tears, and his voice was gruff. "I'm so glad we found you, Jules. Don't close your eyes. Not yet. Talk to me. Tell me about your friends."

Meanwhile, Sam was fighting the creature, and boy, he put up a fight. The two beings swiveled across the room so swiftly that it was hard to see them zoom by eachother, and even harder to see what they were doing. Soon the creature ran out the room and Sam followed it.

"But I'm so tired," I whispered. My eyes closed but he shook me, not helping at all with my headache and what felt like a broken rib

"Speak to me."

"Okay," I whined, "I have this one friend. She's so cool. You and Sam would like her. She has long black hair, and all the guys like her. One time, she ate so many oreos that she threw up. After we got over the shock, we laughed for a million years. I miss her... I-I don't feel good, Dean."

"I know, I know," he soothed. "It'll get better soon, Jules, I promise."

"Okay," I whispered, forcing myself to believe him. "Where's Sam?"

"I'm right here." From my right, Sam spoke and walked closer to us. His head was bowed in what my weary brain could only process as shame. "It got away. I really tried, Dean. I'm sorry."

Dean growled angrily, "How could you let it get away?"

"Well I didn't do it in purpose!" Sam said defensively, his head snapping up.

"Now she has to stay with us even longer," Dean grumbled to himself.

Ouch. "Dean," I mumbled, "I know you don't want me to stay, but I have to stay with you. He told me. And he told me that I was your sister. But you guys don't believe me. I don't want it to be too late."

My eyes were drooping deeply when Sam and Dean said at the same time, "Who said that?"

"Me."

I was able to look at the speaker before exhaustion took over me and I fell asleep.

It was Castiel.

I was trapped in a conscious state of dreams and pain. Every once in a while I would wake up and hear what's going on around me, but, not being able to answer, I'd fall back into the horrific dreams.

"Is she going to be better soon?"

"She has to learn to recuperate on her own. I took out all the bullets so she could without being harmed badly, as was obviously needed, but we need to see how strong she is. I may be an angel, but I don't know everything."

"I really hope she does get better."

"I'm sorry, Dean... Do you need some alone time with her?"

"Yeah... I do. Bye, Cas."

It was quiet for a few moments, and I thought I left consciousness again, but then Dean spoke again.

"Jules... I'm so sorry. For not believing you, for letting you go, for killing your mom... Its all my fault. I'm so sorry." He started crying. I could tell he was because his tears landed on my skin, cooling it down. Unless it was drool. Oh, I pray he was crying.

I reached out with my mind to see if I could open my mouth and tell him that it was okay, that it wasn't his fault, that I would be all right, but I was still locked in my stiff position, and I left real life and the dreams started again.

I don't know how long I was trapped in the deep state of mind, but on the day that I woke up for good, someone was talking to me. His voice was deep and gruff, and kind of muffled, and from the tone, I knew it was Dean.

"Listen, Jules. You are gonna make it. You have to make it. I-I feel it, in my heart. You're strong. Please wake up."

I tried so hard to scream that I was there, and that I knew I would wake up. But I couldn't. It was nearly impossible with the darkness pressing on my mind. I was extremely proud to be able to stay conscious through the speech that Dean gave, because that meant I didn't leave reality and fall back into nightmares.

"I didn't believe you because I didn't want to believe you. I've had this sort of thing happen before, with a boy. And he was already dead by the time I found him. And I thought that if I believed you, you'd die too. And I couldn't handle that.

"And now you're here. And I don't know if you're going to die or not. And it's my fault you're here. It was on my watch when you were taken away.

"I've been to hell before, and it feels like I'm there again. Please, Jules, just wake up."

I really tried this time to wake up. It was so hard, though. The darkness was starting to press in on me again, but I fought it, as hard as I fought against the demon when I went shooting.

It exhausted me. What I think was the first thing that started to wake me up was that I could smell my surroudings. It was a musty smell that made me want to wrinkle my nose. When my fingers twitched because I was fighting the dark force, I was able to have hope that I would be able to wake up. And from the twitching, I was able to move on to circling the fingers.

Dean gasped and said, "You're waking up."

Yes, I am, nerd. Now shut up and let me focus.

I was now able to move my whole hand. It felt good to move, though my joints were stiff. I felt my face shift in a smile and from that movement, I could find where my eyes were, which I didn't know before. And they opened.

The light was bright and it hurt. But I forced my eyes to stay open, and I looked over at Dean, who had an unbelievably bright look on his face.

"Jules," he said, "You're awake."

"Oh really?" I said sarcastically. "I could have sworn this was my heaven: sitting in a bright motel room where the walls are the color of poo."

He barked out a loud laugh. "Oh Jules. Even in pain you're making jokes."

I forgot I was in pain, but when he said that, I remembered. "Ow," I gasped.

His face immediately turned from a look of joy to worry. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay. Just really sore..." Silence. "Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"How long was I out for?" I was timid in asking because I wasn't sure I quite wanted to hear the answer.

He frowned slightly. "Ten days," he admitted.

Dang. "That's a long time."

"Yeah," he said, "It was. I was honestly worried you weren't going to wake up." He looked really sad for a moment, but then thought better of 'burdening me with his problems' and sat up a little straighter. It was almost like I could read his thoughts.

I tried to lighten the mood a bit, even though I myself wasn't sure I would have woken up either. "Hey," I joked, "look at the bright side. At least I got some well-needed sleep."

The corner of his mouth lifted up. "That's not funny."

"Sure it is. You're just jealous because you're not the one who is well rested like I am."

He let out a soft chuckle. "Shut up." I was happy to know I was able to cheer him up.

Changing the subject, I asked, "Where's Sam?"

Dean pointed to the other motel bed, where Sam was asleep. His face was pushed into the pillow and he didn't look like he was breathing, but from the quiet snores, it was obvious he was.

Chuckling softly, I took a drink of the water that was beside my bed. While I did that, I took my surroundings in.

The floor was just a cream coloured carpet. As I had mentioned before, the walls did look like poo, because it was an ugly colour of brown. Paint was peeling off the walls and water stains were coming from the ceiling.

I didn't know how I knew, but I knew that we were in such an awful motel because Sam and Dean wanted to stay low and not have anyone or anything find me or them.

"Dean?" I asked after a few minutes of calm silence and loud thoughts.

He turned his head to mine and looked me in the eyes. He had an expression on his face that said that he would do whatever I asked of him. "Yes, Jules?"

"I want to learn how to fight. No, I need to learn. I can't be this damsel in distress anymore that waits on you and Sam to come and fight for me and save me all the time. I need to learn to defend myself so I can just as easily take care of what I need to: which is me, as selfish as that might sound. There's a war that's starting. And I don't know who is on what side. I don't know who's participating. I don't even know what we're fighting over... But I can tell you this: we are going to win. And I want to be there to see it."

I waited patiently for his answer. He couldn't make eye contact with me. He couldn't think straight, that much I could tell. A million thoughts went through his head all at once and I knew it was because he didn't want something to happen to me. The internal fight and love in his eyes was proof enough of that.

He closed his eyes and inhailed deeply, then exhaled deeply.

Then, lightning fast, they burst open and stared straight into mine with a kind of a determination that forced me to lean forward in excitement.

"What do you want to know?"

You know that feeling when you finish a really good workout and your legs feel like jelly and you feel this major relief and pride that you worked out so hard? I love that feeling.

The during excersizing feeling? Yeah, not so much.

At the moment I was being trained by Dean with very possible move I could use against any attackers.

Apparently, before we got into the "supernatural" things, I had to learn how to fend off humans.

"If someone is about to attack you, put your hands up, palms facing towards the person. This will lead them into a false sense of security. Then, please just scream. Normal people are stupid, and sometimes a scream will send them running away like a beagel who has to poop. If that doesnt work, however, this is what you need to remember: every single thing you have can be turned into a weapon. Anything. From a pencil to a jacket.

"Now," he continued, "if you don't have anything to fight with, then aim for the weak spots. This includes the face, nose, stomach, feet (oddly enough) and the groin. Trust me. That one hurts a lot.

"Use the palm of your hand to hit somebodys nose. Hit from the bottom upwards like this:" he demonstrated. "That can push the bone of the nose up into the brain and kill the person."

"Ew," I said.

"When you gotta do what you gotta do, you gotta do it."

"Whatever that sentence meant."

"'Anyways," he continued, "we are going to practice all of this, until you could fend them off in your sleep. So let's get moving."

And we did.

"Come on, Jules! You can do it!"

I'm working! I screamed loudly in my own mind. I was running too vigerously on a track to speak. All I really wanted to do now was silence Sam's voice as he screamed encouragement for me to finish the last few laps.

The track was just a huge oval surrounding a field. The field was full of dead flowers because of the early december air. I was not cold, even though I was wearing just leggings and a long sleeve shirt, but from the way my breath made clouds and how Sam was standing at the finish line in a coat, hiking boots, and a ridiculous Canadian hat that I told him not to wear, it was freezing outside. The exertion I was exuding was warming me up enough.

"Just one more lap!" Sam yelled as I passed by him for what was the hundredth time. Literally.

Sam was making me run 7 miles straight. It had been a month since an had agreed to train me. It took two weeks for Sam to be okay with it.

When Sam finally agreed, they got me fake ID's and taught me how to kill certain creatures and what they do. We have had literal classes in which I would sit at a desk in the motels and they would make me write down things and memorize them. I would be tested on various creatures and their abilities, and their weaknesses. They would take time out of their own hunting to spend hours running me down to the ground using various, intense excersizes, and after a month, I was able to run 7 miles in a little over an hour, which I didnt even know was possible for me to do.

The fat I had had on my body before was completely gone. I was pure muscle. Well, not counting the bones and blood, and blah blah blah, but you get the idea. The good thing about this was, obviously, that I had a nice body. The bad thing was that every time a male would look my way, dean would glare at them with a stare that could make Lucifer wet his pants.

I finished my final lap and laid on the ground in total exhaustion. We had been working for an hour previous my running, doing random cardio.

"Sam," I gasped, "I dont see the point of having me excersizes this hard."

"When you need to run away from something, you'll be grateful I forced you to run like this." He smiled brightly at me.

This man enjoyed others pain. I knew it.

"Sammy!" It was Dean, coming from his Impala, walking towards us. "Sammy, I got a lead!"

Sams face brightened and the two boys started to run toward eachother. I imagined it in slow motion, making myself laugh. They ignored me, and stood too far away for me to hear them whispering about their new case.

Even though I was mentally and physically exhausted, I got up and moved toward the two boys, wanting to hear what they were talking about.

When I got there, the two boys looked up and stared at me, like they wanted an explination for our close proximity.

"I want to help," I announced. "I want to help fight whatever you're going to fight." I smiled innocently at them.

"No. No way. You're not ready yet." Dean refused immediately.

Sam looked thoughtful for a few moments. He said, "I think we should give her a shot. It's been a month. Besides, she's 16... We were hunting a lot younger than she is now."

"But she is not us," Dean hissed.

"No she isn't. Just like you're not me and I'm not cas. No one is anybody else."

"Don't get sassy with me, Sam; that's my job."

"Guys!" I busted in. "Just shut up and let me come. I'm not a child. Dean, we made a deal. Please just let me come while its not too late for me to get any practice in."

He glared at me, then at Sam, and then back at me again. "Fine," he said. "Fine. Just... Don't get killed, okay?"

"Of course not."

He sighed. "Okay. Okay. Oka-"

"Say 'okay' one more time and I will personally escort you to the gates of hell," I teased.

It was meant to be a joke, but Dean got really serious. So did Sam. Sam looked down at the ground while Dean got a really hard, poker-face look, showing that he didn't want to joke about that right then. I didn't know what was going on, and I wasn't sure what to do about their reaction, so I just cleared my throat awkwardly and said, "Wope. Sorry about that, whatever that was... Okay, just tell me what the plan is, okay, Dean?"

"Okay. So, it's vampires. Upstate New York, from the area where you're from, Jules. Been taking people from ages 12 to 20. I know it's vampires because, well, all the signs are there. So, this is what we're going to do-" And he told us the plan. We were to go find the coven, get in, kill the alpha, and then, kill the rest of the vampires there. Apparently, it wasn't too big of a coven and they could have gotten it by themselves, which was obvious, as they had before. There were two twelve year olds, one 15 year old, one 16 year old, one 17 year old, and two 20 year olds. According to Dean, the 12 year old ones were the ones to worry about the most because they were the youngest and least likely to be able to control their own strength. I was "at no means to try to take care of those two at all, or I will be forever punished and never allowed to go on a hunt again." I agreed, because, quite honestly, I didn't want to be forced to stay at home for any future hunts. There was more details about the plan, but this was the jist of what he was saying.

Dean finished his speech with a little threat towards me. "Jules," he said, "I will kill you if you die."

"Thanks for the encouragement, Dean. It really means a lot that you have so much faith in me."

"I do have faith in you, I just... I just want you to know that this a very dangerous thing you are wanting to do."

"Dean," I said, exasperated, "I know what I was getting in to when I asked you about this. I'm not some ignorant little child that doesn't grasp the knowledge of danger when it comes my way. Just... Have faith that I'm ready for this. Because I am."

He sighed.

Sam just stood there awkwardly like a pig on ice.

"Okay." Dean sighed again. "We have to go now. We really do. So, let's get back to the motel and pack up our stuff and have a fun road trip to New York!" He smiled, turned around, and walked to his car, all the while motioning us to come with him. Sam and I looked at eachother, shrugged, and followed him to the Chevy Impala, where we started another "little road trip."

We made it to my old state in 24 hours. In another few hours we made it to my old city. It was super cold outside, and I had to wear my leather jacket to keep myself warm, along with my black hiking boots I was given.

I wasn't sure how they knew where the vamps were, but we got out of the car, a mile from the vampire coven, and grabbed our knives and machetes. I supposed I shouldn't question them, because they were the experts, but I was rather curious how they found out every single thing on the face of this earth. That was exaggerating, of course, but, hey, teenage girls tend to do exactly that.

I was given the smallest knife, at one and a half feet long. Dean didn't say it, but I knew he didn't trust me to get hurt with a longer sword thing.

I rolled my eyes but didn't argue with him, because, for one, it was still a long knife, and I felt like a ninja holding it in my hands, and two, as soon as we hid the car, Dean told us this simple plan: 1. Take them by surprise. 2. Kill as many SOB's as was possible. And 3. Try to save one so we could question it on whatever it was they had.

And then we were on the move.

While we were stealthily walking, I asked dean quietly, "What is it they have that we want, exactly?"

He sighed. "You know, I'm not quite sure on the details. I just know that they have what we need; or at least know what it is that we want."

"Oh," I mumbled, and we continued on.

We had to move through trees and bushes and tons of other tall plants to make it through to the vampires. I got scratches on my arms and face from running into twigs and branches, but I didnt say anything, because I wanted to prove how much I really did belong there, hunting. The sun wasn't out and the wind nipped at my nose and ears. Adrenaline was bursting through my veins and I had to tell myself several times to calm down, because I was practically bouncing on the way, with nervousness and excitement.

We finally made it to the building. Though, in my opinion, it was less of a building and more of an old, tattered barn. The brown paint was peeling off and it looked like it hadnt been occupied in 20 years. It smelled just like a normal barn.

"Vampires live in this?" I asked, unbelieving.

"They can't live somewhere that will attract attention," Sam whispered.

I didn't say anything. I just nodded my head, and continued with life.

Dean opened the barn door slowly. He looked inside just as gently. I was practically standing on my toes from excitement. I wasn't sure how it was going to play out, but just doing something was enough to make me feel alive.

Before I met Sam and Dean, I didn't know how much I honestly enjoyed just doing stuff and being on the move. Pretty much all I would do all day long is sit down, watch a movie, read a book, catch up on my favorite TV shows, and I thought I enjoyed it. But now, as I did something, I felt like I could do anything, and that just sitting was not what I wanted to do. It was like I was born to do this.

Dean nodded his head, indicating that we could go in. I followed closely behind him, and Sam closely behind me. We tiptoed inside, trying to be as silent as possible.

We split up. Dean wanted me to go with him, so I did, even though I wanted to work my own. I moved closely behind him, looking around. I wasn't sure whether we were looking for the leader of the coven or what, but I just followed his lead. Soon Sam was far behind us, and I had to forget about him because he .

The first vampire we saw was sleeping in a hammock. And so was the next. And the next. It seemed that every vampire was asleep. I wasn't surprised, because it was the middle of the day and thats when vampires went to sleep, but it made me feel more tense. The fact that one of them could wake up and sound a surprise warning to the others was more stressful than if they already knew we were here and were fighting us.

From room to room there was nothing out of the ordinary besides, obviously, sleeping vampires. In my old world, that wasn't normal. Still, there weren't that many. There were 8, as far as we counted. We weren't sure, obviously, where Sam was, nor did we know how many he had counted, but there wasn't much, I was sure of that.

The walls were wooden, and litte sunlight was seeping in through the cracks in the wood. It was warm inside, which I was surprised to find, because outside was so cold. I would have taken off my jacket if I had time.

I tripped over something, falling onto the floor. I almost cried out, but forced it down. It was almost silent, the fall. It hurt, yes, but the agility I learned from Sam and Dean graced me with silence. Dean looked back at me, wearing an expression that said 'Really, Jules? Really?' An embarassed smile made its way to my face and I looked at the ground, when I saw what I tripped on.

I almost gasped when I saw what it was. A friendship bracelet, made with string and beads, was lying on the floor. The beads read, "BEST FRIENDS FOREVER."

"What the-" I whispered.

Dean shushed me, looking at me like I was an idiot, until it clicked in my head that I had made noise.

We both looked up, suddenly on alert, making sure nothing was waking up.

Nothing was.

We both inaudibly sighed.

I stood up and started to walk again. As I walked slowly, fondling the bracelet, I hugged the walls. Dean stayed right in front of me, as he had before. But then, I felt an invisible force pull me to one room. I tried to resist it, but before I knew it, slowly and silently, I moved so Dean couldn't see me, and moved to that room.

The door opened with a quiet creak. In a few seconds, I was in the room and walking toward where force's source came from, which was the hammock hanging from the ceiling. I felt like I was floating as soon as I entered the room, and as I moved closed to the hammock. It also felt like the hammock was a million miles away, and the more I moved, the farther it went away. I knew there was a vampire in the hammock, but I hoped to the high heavens that the black long hair didn't belong to who I thought it was, even though the evidence was right there in my face. My conscience was screaming at me to get out of there, to leave it all alone, to stay away from this building, but my body wouldn't let me. I physically couldn't turn around and walk away, even though I knew it was going to end bad.

I finally made it to the swinging bed and looked down at the soft face. My suspicions were sadly confirmed.

With a loud gasp, I said, "Alyssa," not even thinking about anything that would be rather logical, like to be quiet, or feeling the way my entire body went cold. All I could do was just think, 'not her, not her, why is it her?'

Her eyes snapped open and I was sad to see her eyes were red. As fast as light, she was out of her bed and right in front of me. Alyssa face was inches from mine, and I could recognize the little changed that vampirism gave her: smoother skin, wider eyes, and thicker hair and longer lashes. She showed me her now-sharp teeth and smiled.

"Well, well, well... What do we have here?"

"Alyssa," I whispered again. I wasn't in shock. I was more worried than anything else.

She laughed. "Oh, honey. Am I glad to see you. It's been so long. You've been away."

Something flashed in her hands. It was a gun. I stared at it for a few seconds, taking in every detail. It was black with an intricate design. I'd never seen it before, nor had I seen the design. It looked like something like a spell or symbol, like a pentagram, except not a pentagram. It had a different design. A circle inside of another circle with a line going through it. It almost skipped my mind, but there were tiny words inside of the bigger circle, surrounding the inside. To my human mind, it looked like squiggles, but I knew that another unearthly being would know what it said, exactly. I stared at it until Alyssa started to talk again, where my eyes flew to hers

"I've been hearing things about you, you know," she said, noticing where I was staring.

My eyes popped back to hers. "Oh yeah? Like what?"

Alyssa smiled even wider and twirled the gun in her hand flawlessly. "That you've been searching for this."

Is that it? I thought, rather dissapointed. It's just a gun!

"I see that look on your face, Jules. It speaks of disbelief. 'We came all this way for a gun?!' you think. It is a gun, yes, but oh, it is very, very important."

Then in a blink of an eye, she was out of my face and all the way across the room. "But you know that."

I got out of my dissapointed state of mind and said to her, "What happened to you?"

She smiled. "What happened to me?! When you left me for better, you left me friendless and alone. You knew you were my only friend, and you still left! So I searched for an answer to where you were."

Alyssa laughed, but it didn't hold any happiness in it. It was cold and dark and I didnt know how to deal with the way my best friend was acting. Her red eyes were wild with both anger and hurt, but her voice was low and even.

I whispered, "I didn't want to leave you."

"But you did."

We looked at eachother with stares that could end time. Her look was angry but mine was sorrowful. I could practically hear her thoughts screaming that whatever happened to her was all my fault. And then she broke the silence with a low, threatening voice.

"So I looked. For several days I asked questions on where you were. And I met someone and got some answers from someone special. An angel." I kept a steady look, but the recognition in my eyes made her smirk. "Yes, thats right. An angel is the cause of all of this. Im afraid I can't tell you the name, but I can tell you that they are building something. And I helped him start it."

I rolled my eyes. "Let me guess. You guys are building an army."

If possible, she smirked wider. I was starting to get the feeling that this new vampire life was making her extremely bipolr. "Why, miss Julia, you are a guru full of knowledge. I congratulate you on your quick mind. Oh, man. I am so glad you left me. Without that, I wouldn't see the light in how worthless you are to me... To certain others, however, you are valuable, which is why I can't kill you."

I narrowed my eyes at her. There was something about her demeanor that told me she was doing something... I just couldn't put my finger on what it was.

As I tried to figure out what it was, she circled around me, slowly, menacingly. I was slowly growing more and more suspicious because she didn't say anything. Finally, I couldnt hold my voice in any longer and asked. paranoid, "What are you doing?"

Once again, she laughed, cold and high in a melodic tone. "Finally, she asks. I think, however, that the question isn't what I'm doing, but what you're doing. What are you doing in here with me? Why aren't you out there... With your friends?"

The sudden realization came to me that what she had been doing with me was stalling for more time. I vaguely could hear the sound of screams. The silence was strong in the room. I wasn't sure if it was from good walls or a spell, but as soon as I noticed the fight going on outside, I turned to run out the door to go fight with Sam and Dean. Alyssa was there in front of me in a flash and I wasn't able to get past her. With her new signature smirk, she pushed me to the other side of the room. My head hit the wall and I gapsed out in pain.

Slowly, like a lion ready to pounce on its prey, Alyssa glided towards me. "I dont think youll be able to pass me. We need you, Jules."

I feigned terror. "No, please, Alyssa! I can't do it! Please just let me go!"

She got real close to me as I yelled this. I started to fake cry and she was about to tell me something when I kicked her under her feet, forcing her to fall over.

Quickly, I jumped on top of her and we started wrestling. The gun fell with a huge clatter. We stopped moving for just a moment, and then when we realized what we were doing, at the same time, we started torwards the gun. At different times, either of us would get the advantage. I would punch her and she would kick me in the side, bruising my ribs. This went on until finally I had the gun in my hand. I rushed to the door and got it open when I saw the scene of hell.

There were many more vampires than we had thought. Tons were on the ground, their heads chopped off. Sam and dean moved swiftly, dodging and killing each vampire like jackie chan in his ninja movies. I was amazed at how well they looked under this kind of stress. Dean's face was fierce and full of fire while Sam's was strong and focused.

I noticed all of this in less than a second, but I waited for a half a second too long because in that moment, I was pushed from behind and flown across the room. Again.

"Oh, that hurt like a mother." I muttered to myself, quickly getting up. If it had been a month ago this happened to me, then I would have fainted and probably died. But the training must have hardened up my head because all I was left with was a dull headache.

So, this time, when Alyssa came towards me, I was prepared. I was ready for the blows she tried to give me. I blocked them and we were again fighting. I didn't know where the gun was, but I didn't care for the moment. What I was now focused on was surviving. And the only way to do that, I realized with sad realization, was to kill Alyssa.

As if he could read my mind, Sam yelled my name and tossed me a long knife/sword thingy. I grabbed it without any problems, and swirled around with it held out. I heard a slick and a crunching sound and I just knew the worst had happened.

I killed alyssa.

I didn't have much time to dwell on the fact, though, because then there were more vampires on me. I killed them with ease, and, soon, with the two boys' help, they were all lying on the floor and dead.

We were all gasping for breath.

I went over to the wall and leaned against it, trying to catch my breath.

"Dang," said Dean. "That was some fight."

"Yeah," I agreed. "It was."

I looked at Alyssa for one second before it was too much and I had to put on a mask of strength so Sam and Dean wouldnt know how I was feeling. I looked back at them. Dean was starting to walk back out there door.

"Wait," I called out.

He turned back around, looking at me quizzically.

"Where's the gun?"

"What gun?"

"It's what we've been looking for! The object. I don't know what it does, but I know what it looks like!" And I descibed its features.

The quizzical look immediately left his face and he started to search for it. We all started to. In a few minutes, I saw it, being held tightly by a dead vampire.

I started towards it, so ready for the day to just be over. As soon as I got to it, however, the vampire hopped up, smiled at me, winked. And then vanished in thin air.

My mouth was wide open and I was staring blankly at the empty space of air. After a minute, Sam noticed and asked from behind me, "Jules, what's wrong."

I found my voice an whispered, "It's gone."

The two boys both said at the same time, "What do you mean it's gone?"

"I mean," I said, getting louder, "that it's gone. Did you not just see that? That vampire just dissapeared in thin air! With the gun! The gun that we were looking for! That we came here in the first place for! What the heck was that?!" I was shocked and incredulous, and I didnt know what to do with the information that just happened. We couldn't go after it. It was just gone. We just had to deal and hope it would cross our paths again.

Dean said, "Wait, wait. Are you serious?"

I turned around and faced him. Maybe it was the look on my face, but both Sam and dean believed me right then.

"Crap," said Dean.

"You said it," agreed Sam.

I was too much in shock to say anything else. I just turned and walked to the door, out of it, through the Forrest. The boys kept calling after me, but I just started running the long stretch of Forrest as fast as I could, and before I knew it, I was at the impala. As soon as I picked the lock, I sat in the backseat, and buckled myself in. It was still hidden in the trees, so all I could see was green and brown plants around me. Sam and dean made it to the impala and got in.

"Dang, you got fast," Sam complimented.

"Run, Forrest, run," joked Dean.

I barely heard what they said because one through was repeating itself through my head again and again, and it got louder and louder, and there was nothing I could do about it.

My first kill was my best friend, and it was all for nothing.

The car ride back was very, very silent, and very, very awkward. I couldn't tell why the boys were silent, but I knew, that for me, I just could not find my voice, like it was trapped deep down in my throat and just stuck there. I was finally drifting off to sleep when Dean's voice cracked like a whip, loudly, saying, "Hey Jules, you wanna get something to eat?"

My eyes peeled open slowly. I hadn't realized it, but my stomach was gurgling, growling, and biting with hunger. "Yeah," I croaked. Then, louder, after I cleared my throat, I asked, "What are you guys in the mood for?"

Sam told me, "We wanted to know what you want."

Dean looked back at me in the rearview mirror and mouthed, "Burgers."

I winked at him and said to Sam, "I am craving burgers right now. I want some so badly. Been wanting some since I woke up this morning. I don't know why." And it was true. I had been craving it.

He laughed and said, "You definitely are a part of this family."

I tensed. So did Dean. Sam was just as happy as could be and didn't seem to notice us, but the words he said stressed me out, strangely.

I didn't want another family. I had been perfectly content with the first one. Sam and dean were great, but I didnt want to think of them as my brothers. I wasn't quite sure how I labeled them. I mean, I had always wanted a brother, but the kind I imagined was not like this. I imagined my brother beating up boys who were mean to me. I'm sure Sam and Dean both would beat the mean boy up, but it didn't seem quite the same. I could see a brother beating up my first boyfriend who broke my heart, not demons that tried to hurt me.

"Oh, honey, you're in for a lot."

The person that spoke was not Sam, nor was it Dean. It was someone from the left of me, in the back seat. I slowly turned my head and when I saw a man in his late twenties right next to me, looking just as content as all could get out. It was the same man that took the gun before and dissapeared in thin air. His hair was short and light brown and he was tall. His head almost touched the ceiling of the car.

I screamed.

Dean swerved the car. "SON OF A BITCH!" he yelled. "JULES! What was that?!"

The two brothers looked back at me in matching expressions of horror. I looked at them, and then looked at the guy beside me. He just shrugged.

Their faces were both switched to confusion now.

"What are you looking at?" asked Sam, with his signature compassionate look.

I just stared at them, back at the man, and then back at the boys, and thought I probably looked like a person watching someone play ping pong. I knew I sounded crazy, but I couldn't help but know what I was seeing was real. "Nothing," I said, my voice echoing in my ears with the lie. "I guess I'm a little tired and hungry. It's nothing."

The man clicked his tongue as Dean turned around and started driving again. "The names Archer. I'm your new companion."

I just stared at him because I couldn't say anything without attracting attention from Sam and Dean. I mouthed for him to go away, but he just said, "Sorry, honey, no can do."

I mouthed, "Why?"

He smirked and said, "Because you, little lady, are going to say yes to me."

Without thinking, I hissed out loud, "I haven't thus far and I'm not starting now."

Dean kept driving, but he said, "Okay, Jules, what the hell?"

I just said, "I'm hungry. Now."

He rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Well, aren't you lucky, because here we are."

We were pulled in at a burger joint in upstate pennsylvania. It was a cute little diner and I was really looked forward to eating, because, hey, I love food and scenery was the greatest.

Archer laughed suddenly and said, "You're in for a huge surprise when you get in there." Then he started whistling.

I turned and glared at him. I couldnt stand it when people whistled, especially when its as loud as he was doing it, right in my ear.

As I turned to walk into the resturaunt, a searing pain ignited in my lower stomach. "Owwww," I whined.

We sat down. "What's wrong?" Sam asked.

I said, "I want a cheeseburger with extra mustard and lettuce and pickles. Please order for me. I'll be in the bathroom." and I turned around and left. As I turned, I heard Dean say low to Sam, "Something's up with her."

I barged in to the stall and immediately threw up into the toilet. At first I thought it was blood, because it was red and intense, but before my eyes it changed to- as disgusting as it sounds- back to normal puke.

A high laugh sounded in the bathroom, from a man.

"Oh, honey. I'm gonna have a lot of fun with you."

I finished throwing up and went to the sink to wash my mouth. Then I realized I had to actually use the restroom.

So I went.

I ignored Archer's laughter as I washed my hands and went back out to where Sam and Dean were, my face red the entire time. I now understood why I threw up.

"Sam," I said, whispering in his ear.

"What?"

He looked comfortable until I leaned in and whispered, "I need something," which made him look confused. I really didn't want to tell him, but it was better than telling dean, who would either laugh at me or run away screaming. I sighed and whispered, "It's a girl problem."

Sam choked on his salad. Dean's head lifted up from their computer and asked, "What's up?"

I blushed furiously and turned to Dean, growling, "It's none of your buisness."

He lifted his hands up in surrender and went back to his computer. Sam coughed again, extremely uncomfortable.

Why did I have to be a female?

"What do you need?" he asked

I groaned. "Just give me some money and I'll go to the store and get it."

He reached into his pocket and gave me a twenty. I slightly smirked at the excessive amount he gave me, but as the reason for it came to my head, I blushed more furiously.

"See you in a few," I said as I turned and left. My food still wasn't there so I knew it wouldn't be too cold when I returned.

Archer followed me, singing the chorus"man I feel like a woman" by Shania Twain over and over again, getting louder with each rerun.

I entered the small convinience store. It was empty except for the cashier, who was an old, balding man, a little on the heavier side. I moved over to the "feminine needs" section, listening to Archer's loud singing. It was grating on my nerves.

"Men shirts, short skirts, ooh-wuh-uh-oh, I wanna be free, yeah, to feel the way I feel. DO-DO-DO. Man! I feel like a woman!" he sang.

I finally lost it. "Shut up!" I yelled at him.

He obliged, sniggering.

"Umm, miss?" the cashier's voice asked. His head peaked around the corner. "Are you allright?"

I smiled a fake smile. "Of course I am." I turned back to looking at the boxes full of lady products.

The mans head turned down just a little bit. For some odd reason, it forced my attention back to him and I got another bad feeling. He blinked, and when his eyes opened again, they were full black. "Well you won't be for long."

"Awh, crap," I muttered.

The old man, whose name tag read "Steve," (though it seemed Steve was long gone) charged at me like a bull. I hesitated for just a second too long before he rammed into my right side, forcing me to fly back onto one of the aisles, toppling it over. The boxes of personals fell on top of me and I bruised my back pretty good. "Oh man," I grunted.

I was prepare this time, however, as he moved again to either pick me up or attack me. I moved swiftly to the right side and kicked him. Steve was a demon, so that didn't do much damage, but it was hard enough to send him falling over. To slow him further, I pushed one of the aisles onto him. It took immense muscle power, and under normal circumstances I wouldn't have been able to do it, but the adrenaline running through me gave me the strength to accomplish it.

I gained the advantage as it fell on top of him, and turned to run out of the room. Archer was just standing against the wall, watching me lightly try to run for my life.

"He isn't gonna kill you," he called in a sing-songy voice.

"I dont care," I called back.

I barely made it five feet when a sickining crunch sounded from my left calf which forced me to hit the ground, my head hitting the corner of an aisle in the process. I tried to get back up and run, but I couldn't feel my leg, I couldnt even feel the pain. It was numb.

In an instant, I said what came to my mind, and I called out, "Cas, please." I wasn't sure what made me say it, but when I did, I was glad I did.

In a second, "Steve" was on me, with his grimy hands around my neck, choking me. I didn't think he was trying to kill me. I thought he was trying to get me to be knocked out, because for some odd reason, I believed archer when he told me I wasn't going to die.

Black dots were flashing across my vision as life started the slip away. I saw a flash of white light, and in an instant, I was let go, and I could inhale. And as much as it hurt, I felt like it was the best air I'd ever breathed in my entire life.

I couldn't see well, because the black dots were still there, but I felt an angelic presence, and I knew who it was.

"Cas," I called quietly.

Archer said in a mocking voice, "Awh, the wittle baby calling out to the angel?" but I ignored him.

Strong arms picked me up. I held on tight, as if for my life. Cas, in his rough deep voice, cooed, "It's okay, Jules. Its okay."

I started crying, letting a moment of vulnerability show. "Please dont tell Sam and Dean that I'm crying. I dont want them to think I'm weak." and on the word "weak" I sobbed a little bit harder.

Cas started to say something else, but the sound of his voice was drowned out by rcher's sudden laughter. "Oh, darling," he yelled, "you should just give up on them. They're not going to care about you for much longer. Not when you cry like this. You child." he hissed out the word child, and it shot itself though my chest. "Just say, 'yes' to me and you will prove you're not weak! Come on, just say it. Three letters, one simple word. And while you're at it, you can tell your friend Cas that he's too old for you."

In the next few seconds, my ears started ringing. I stopped crying immediately and turned my head to archer. He was still leaning against the wall, a smug smirk evident on his face. I pushed myself out of Cas's arms and moved right up to archer, not caring that Cas was looking at me in confusion. I couldnt stand up because my left leg was so numb, but I was able to slightly ignore it as I crawled to Archer and pulled him down to my level so we were face to face and said, "Go away from me. Leave me be. Now." The weird thing was that I said it in another language, one I was certain was not human. Archer froze and stared at me for a few seconds his eyes widened and he dissapeared. I couldn't be certain that he was gone for good, but he was gone. I smiled and I turned around to crawl back to cas. He was wearing a look of shock. I didn't think I'd ever see that look on his face, but lo-and-behold, it was there.

I turned away from his piercing look and moved my attention to the huge mess.

Dang, I thought.

The mess was disasterous. Some of the shelves of stuff had fallen over when either I was pushed into them, or I pushed one down, and objects in boxes littered the floor. There was the dead body of poor steve on the floor. He wasn't bleeding, but there was dark red liquid surrounding him, most likely from me.

"Yikes," I said aloud.

Cas didn't say anythng to that, but he finally did say something. "Jules... You spoke enochian."

"What's that?" I asked.

"That," he said, moving towards me, "is the language of heaven." I was still sitting on the ground. "And you spoke it without prior knowledge of it... Jules, you need to answer something for me."

"What is that?"

"Who are you?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean," he said, "that you are not a normal person. I do not know who you are. You were adopted from an orphanage when you were a baby. I know you do not know who you are, so I am sorry for asking, but I just... You're special. I dont know who you are, or what you are, but you are definitely special."

I wasn't sure how to respond to that. "Oh," I let out awkwardly.

My leg started to regain feeling right then and I started to really feel the pain. It was like a fire was burning in on the inside. I looked down at it for the first time and gasped.

It was covered it blood and one of my bones were sticking out, a thick bone, to be modest. It looked disgusting. A nauseating feeling grew in my stomach just from looking at it and I threw up again for the second time today. Cas hurried over and held my hair back for me while I did.

"Thanks," I said as I finished.

"No problem," he said sincerely while looking at me. "Do you want me to fix your leg? Of course you do. Okay."

He reached over and touched my leg. A bright light glowed between cas's hand and my leg and I was able to watch as it healed, right there. The blood was still all over my leg, but the wound was gone and my bone was back where it was supposed to go. The pain instantly left me and I smiled in relief. "Thank you," I breathed out.

And then I realized how exhausted I really was. I guess that fighting vampires, killing your best friend, getting in another fight with a demon, and not eating anything in the process really wore a person out.

"It has been a looooong day," I said.

"For you it has," Cas agreed sadly. A wet rag materialized out of nowhere and he wiped up all the blood off my leg. "I won't heal anything else on your body. Not because I can't, but because your brothers need to see what you can do and what you have done, because right now, they arent sure youll be able to handle all this. I know you can, so this will show them your capabilities."

Cas picked me up like I was a baby and he carried me out to the impala. I sat down and he left telling me he was going to get Sam and Dean and some food for me. The three of them returned and handed me my well-earned burger, which I ate in complete bliss because all I could think about was how delicious it really was and how happy I was to eat this, not about how I killed two people.

I must have been eating really fast because Dean said, "Whoa, Jules, if you inhale your food, you'll get gas as bad as Sam's."

"Hey!" Sam said, pretending to be offended.

I rolled my eyes at him. "Come on, now. After hours and hours of no food, I can eat this burger."

Dean chuckeled. "I know that feeling."

Sam laughed and said, "You sure do."

And I laughed. And I still felt what I had earlier today: I didn't want another family. I wanted my old family. But I was okay with having people to laugh with. I felt that they were my good friends, and for the moment, I was okay with that.

By the time that I almost forgot about archer, almost a week had passed. I hadn't fared well after killing Alyssa, but after a few more kills, I started to get used to the feeling of regret, as awful as that sounded.

Still, I would get random shocks of pain in my chest that would suck all the air out of my lungs, squish my heart, and send it racing a the same time. Usually Sam and Dean were with me and I would have to excuse myself to a different area, which usually consisted of being a bathroom. During those episodes, I wouldn't hyperventilate, as one would think. I wouldn't be able to breath at all, or so it felt like it. Even though my heart would race, my breath would slow and I would get light headed and woozy, and since I didn't know what to do, I would just have to wait it out in slight terror and grief until it subsided.

In one particular episode of this, I had been alone in the motel. Sam and Dean were both "going out," which I assumed meant them going out to a bar. This was one of the worst mental attacks. I had just been making some food from the cheap little motel microwave when it hit, and I spent the next two hours trying to calm my heart down and trying not to cry.

Luckily, after a nice warm bath and some tea, even though it was long and tedious time, it went away.

Neither Sam or Dean would let me go with them on any hunting trips for at least two weeks. Apparently, Dean got it out of Cas that my bone ended up sticking out of my leg, and they didn't think I was okay. How Dean even guessed anything, I didn't even know, but still. I knew I had quite a few bruises, and was quite sore still, but I felt like I could do whatever I could. But, just to appease the boys, I complied, and stayed wherever they wanted me to.

The hotel room we were staying in was a quaint little place in Coastal Wickford Village in Rhode Island. The walls were yellow and the floor was brown. To explain it would make it sound like a bumblebee, but it was rather pretty. The yellow was the colour of sunshine and the brown was the colour of rich tree branches. In a weird way, it made me think of a forest when the sunlight is lighted through the leaves in a way that looked like heaven was looking down upon you.

Across the two-lane road from the inn we were staying in, there was a park, and so far, everyday, for the past three days, I would go out and swing on the swings, all alone. It was peaceful, and once in a while a child would be there, playing with their mother or father, or both. Their screams of joy made it all the more peaceful in an odd way. It made me think of when I was a child and my parents would take me to the park. The children's smile's mirrored their parent's, and it was wonderful to hear them laugh.

The only sad part about it, to me and the child, was leaving. Most of the time the child would scream or cry or just pout, but I don't remember seeing a kid who was happy to say goodbye to their playground.

Except for one kid.

This kid was a little boy and he was the definition of adorable. About four or five, his rosy cheeks, black hair, and light brown eyes were precious. He was sitting alone on one of the benches. In his hands were crayons and set in front of him was a sketchpad which had obviously been owned for a long time, from the torn cover, scuff marks around the edges, and amount of drawings in there. I couldn't tell what he was drawing but I was growing curious as the minutes passed. His mothter came and asked him if he wanted to play with the other kids (which I only knew that from her gestures). He frowned and shook his head in an annoyed yet intelligent manner, then looked intently back at his drawing.

The mother looked a little crestfallen but ruffled the boys hair and walked off. I wanted to see what he was drawing so I got up and walked down to where he sat.

I was staring at the back of the kids head as I asked as non-creepily as possible, "Hey, little man. Whats up?"

He turned his head around and looked at me, annoyance evident in his eyes. "I am not little. I am five years old. And I'm busy, so please, leave me alone."

The polite part of me told me that I should leave and listen to him, but something kept me rooted to the spot.

"What's your name?" I asked.

"What's yours?" he retorted.

I thought about how I would respond for a minute, and when I found the right words, I spoke again. "I'm Jules," and then, remembering what it was like to be a child and to talk to strangers, "It's okay if you don't tell me your name. I understand older people can be scary. Just tell me what you want to be called."

Without realizing it, he smirked. "I'm batman."

Laughing, I changed the subject. "What are you drawing?"

I saw his eyes light up a bit, and at that moment I realized that he probably didn't have too many people asking him about the things he liked to do. Something told me he only ever got to talk about the things the grownups talked about. I understood how he was feelings because sometimes I felt like that with Sam and Dean.

He immediately smiled and told me, "I'm drawing a story. See this girl right here? She's really nice and pretty. I haven't named her yet, but I'm leaning towards Aria. She hunts magical creatures that are bad. Right now though she's in a room and she's about to die. Don't worry, though, because she's going to get better."

It was a really creative idea, and I couldn't help but admire his drawings, which were very detailed for a child of his age. "Can I see them?" I asked.

Without uttering another word, he handed me his drawings. I looked at them for a while and was about to compliment him when my voice caught in my throat as a sudden realization hit me.

The girl, possibly-named-Aria, looked EXACTLY like me. In cartoon/five-year-old drawing form, of course.

Her hair was long and brown and wavy. She was wearing the same outfit I was at that moment, jeans, hiking boots, and a plaid t-shirt I borrowed from Sam that was way too big for me. Her big blue eyes were blankly staring at the creature that hovered over her, a dark shadow.

I immediately got goosebumps and wanted to cry. I couldn't say exactly why it made me so upset all of a sudden, but I think I knew. I had been told about people that could see things, like the future, and what if this little boy was seeing what would happen? Probably. I bet I'm going to die.

Way to be positive.

Ignoring the chills that set themselves over my body, I looked down at the little boy and tacked on a carefree smile that showed nothing to how I felt.

"These are so interesting," I said to him.

His eyebrows furrowed together in confusion and reproach. "Good or bad interesting?" he asked.

Bad. So, so bad. "Good, of course."

And then, because I was a paranoid person, I thought I saw exactly what he drew, the dark shadow. But, upon looking at it and seeing that it wasn't really there, I had to tell myself that it was just my imagination.

Still, I'd been around Sam and Dean long enough to know that you can't just ignore those feelings and thoughts.

My paranoia increased, as did my pulse.

"Well, Batman, I have to go now, but it was great talking with you. I'll see you around sometime, okay?"

He nodded his head, waved to me, and turned his body right back to his drawings, smiling all the while.

As I turned around and walked away, I was able to take off my mask of happiness I had on for that child, and I was sure that my worry was prominent.

Back in the motel room, I paced constantly, trying to roll the uneasiness off of me. Surely that whole drawing and story was just a coincidence... Right?

Yeah, not likely.

I couldn't hold the terror in anymore. It got too hot all of a sudden, so I took off some of my clothes, leaving me in boxer-shorts, and a tank top. And then, I had another panic attack. My heart was pounding, and my vision was fuzzy, and I just couldn't keep in any emotions I was feeling. I grabbed the lamp beside the bed and threw it across the room. It shattered. I was momentarily shocked by my strength of being able to break it, but the cloudiness came across my brain again and I needed another release. I ran over to the mirror, and hit it with both hands. the entire thing came down on top of me dramatically and the bigger pieces sliced my skin while the smaller ones dug themselves in my skin. I didn't even register the pain. I realized that wasn't a good release, so I grabbed one of the pillows, fell to my knees, on top of more glass, and screamed, and screamed, and screamed myself hoarse until the only thing coming from my throat was dry air.

I laid down on the cool bed and covered my face with my arms. For what felt like hours I just laid on the scratchy bedding. I knew that 'til the day I died, I would agree that tonight I was being pretty darn dramatic, but quite frankly, I didn't care.

When the light had faded, and everything was dark, a car door slammed from outside the room. I vaguely heard Dean's voice sounding proud of whatever was going on. Before they could make it to the door, I quickly got under the covers and pretended that I was asleep.

The key unlocked and the door slid open. Dean's voice said, " - and I'd like to think it's because - What the hell?"

I stayed in the same position and my eyes opened in tiny slits to see their silhouettes. They stood in the middle of the doorway. I wasn't able to see their expressions because it was too dark and my eyes weren't open enough, but I could tell that they were quite surprised.

I tried to imagine what it seemed like from their point of view, which was rather hard to do because I didn't really pay attention in the first place to what I did to it, but I tried. The hotel room that they paid for was extremely messed up, and could possibly have blood stains - my blood stains - in random places. The thought came up in my brain that I probably should be feeling some pain from the glass, but it still didn't register. Not that I was complaining.

"Umm..." Sam started. He opened his mouth, closed it, opened it, and then closed it again, seemingly at a loss for words.

Dean seemed to find the words Sam was missing. "Well, at least she isn't dead."

Okay, maybe not quite the words Sam wanted to say.

In a rather condescending voice, Sam said, "Dean, that's not funny."

"I was dead serious."

"I know, but... I think she broke... Do you think it's a good idea to keep her with us?"

"Oh yeah," Dean responded sarcastically, "Let's just throw her back into the real world where she doesn't have any demons after her. Where her father doesn't even remember he had a daughter. What a great plan! I'm sure she'd enjoy going back to school where her demon-teacher kidnapped her... She's fine. Like we never have moments like these."

"Dean - "

My own voice sliced through the air and the two boys flinched, surprised that I was awake, and at the venom in it. "What?"

I turned over and turned on the lamp. They both looked like deers caught in headlights. Their eyes were wide and mouths were open in a comical 'o' and under any other circumstances, I think I would have laughed at their expressions, but I couldn't at the moment because of the information I just processed.

"What?" I repeated. "My dad's alive?"

Now their expressions just turned to confusion. Sam asked, "Your dad? Of course he's alive. What did you think happened to him?"

"Well, when you first said that 'he was taken care of,' I thought you meant, like, he was dead or something, and you were just trying to cover it up, and I didn't want to hear anything worse, so I just kinda went along with it. What?" And then, more to myself, I whispered, "He's alive?"

What I said was true. I did believe that they meant that he was dead. Holy... What?

I shook my head and looked up at them, suddenly furious. "Why did you take me along with you guys if I had my freaking father?!"

Dean didn't flare up, but got defensive. "There are demons coming after you, Jules. I thought you understood that. And the only way to keep your father safe was to have him forget he was ever married, or had any kids. Right now he's just a single dude in his 40s living in New York as a Lawyer, just like he's always been. I thought... I thought you knew."

"It would have been nice if you had told me," I hissed.

He turned his face to the floor in embarassment. Sam looked like he wanted to say something, but something stopped him. Again.

"Well you know what?!" I bursted out through the silence they gave off. My voice was rough from all the screaming I could do, and for the rest of the night, it sounded raw.

Dean's green eyes connected with mine, and I took that as a "Go ahead Jules, tell me what I need to know." So I continued.

A cold laugh, filled with anything but amusement, filled the room. "It doesn't even matter anymore. Because even after all I freaking went through, my family doesn't matter to you guys."

"Jules," Sam said in a small voice, contrasting with his large body. "We are your family."

"We may be blood, but we are NOT family," I spat out. Dean's head lifted up and I saw the raw hurt in his eyes from those words, but they just lasted for a second because a cold mask covered his face.

And all of a sudden, I wanted to take back the words I said. But the mask on Dean's face and the fact that I wasn't even able to see Sam's made it hard for me to think of words to take them back. "I - I -"

"No. Fine." Dean's deep, hard voice spoke, with no emotion. "We'll take you back." He paused, turning and moving towards the bathroom door. "I can't sleep with all this glass on the floor. I'm going to sleep in the bathroom. Night."

"Wait, Dean." I said, shocking myself.

He stopped, but didn't turn to look at me.

I cleared my throat and softened my voice as I continued. "I think... Well, it's my fault the glass is on the floor. So, I'll be the one sleeping in the bath." I got up and pulled the blankets off of me.

Sam hissed.

Dean, who got curious from Sam's noises, turned around, and reacted the same way his brother did.

I was only wearing what I changed into: Iron Man Boxer Shorts, and a black tank top, and I looked down at my visible skin. I was able to comprehend what they were hissing at.

It wasn't too bad, from my personal point of view. I mean, my skin had a lot of yellow from the healing bruises, which probably made everything look worse, but it really wasn't that bad. To me.

I was covered in blood. Well, dried blood, but blood nonetheless. They came from the random glass shards that broke my skin, and the glass pieces that were stuck in my skin.

"What happened?" Sam asked.

"It doesn't really matter, honestly," I said, not really wanting them to know. If I was honstly, I'd say that I was pretty embarrassed.

"Yes, Jules. It does. Don't be stubborn," Dean scolded.

I don't know why, but that made me tear up. "I just... I don't know! I don't know what happened! My brain just fried or something! Just... I'm going to go to sleep." I started to walk into the bathroom, pushing myself past Dean's outstretched hand.

"Jules," he started.

I inturrupted him, tears already falling down my face. "No! Don't! Whatever you are going to say, it's not going to help. I'm just tired, allright? Just leave me alone."

"Jules," Sam said. He crossed the room and tripped. After quickly righting himself up, he grabbed my arm. "You don't have to tell me what happened. You are not sleeping in the bathroom. Dean and I will sleep in that bed."

"No," I snapped, and glared at him. "I'm not sleeping in a bed. Good freaking night." I started to turn around again, but Sam's grip tightened on me.

"Allright, that's it." Sam picked me up, and carried me over to the bed. I started to thrash around, fear slightly building up in me again. I knew he wouldn't touch me, but it brought back memories of when I was kidnapped, and the things the demon did to me. Sam laid me down on the bed, me still kicking, and I wasn't calming down, so he had to hold me down. My mind kept telling me that he was doing it so I would calm down, but my body remembered everything, and it was telling me to leave.

"No," I started sobbing. I was seriously losing my mind. "Don't touch me. Don't touch me. Please. Mr. Lawrence. Stop."

Sam froze. "Jules?" He let go of me, and I curled up in a ball at the side of the bed, my body turned away from my two brothers. My breath was coming out in ragged sobs. I needed to calm down, but I couldn't.

They were silent, and the only noise in the room was my crying.

After ten minutes neither boy had moved. I calmed down enough to know that it was time that I told them everything that had happened.

I sat up, sitting criss-cross-apple-sauce'd, slouched over, my back curved in such an unlady-like manner. "Okay," I said, my voice shaking.

"I think you guys need to know everything you should about me."

They stared at me with blank faces and I motioned them to sit down on the other bed. They did, and they both sat in the same position, their legs hung over the beds. I sighed.

"Go ahead," Sam said, his sympathetic self.

"Well, I think I'll start from the reason why I'm here in the first place. You guys know that I was kidnapped, but I don't think you know what happened or what exactly they wanted from me.

"I always knew that demons were real. For some reason, my believing was something actually helped me in the end, because a lot of research was done for them. I don't know why I always felt so attatched to the idea of supernatural beings being you know, real... But I'm really glad I did, because if I hadn't, I really don't think I would be here right now.

"You guys are giving me confused faces. It was my teacher, Mr. Lawrence that kidnapped me. At first, I thought he had just went crazy, because he was always such a positive guy, and really fun, but something was telling me otherwise. Then I saw his eyes turn black, and I knew it finally happened.

"He threatened me to get into his car while I was at a gas station. I don't know why I was being dumb and got in with him, but I did. To this day, I have no idea where he took me, but it was someplace cold, and dark. The first few days were awful. I mean, I didn't have any clothes, for one, and it was like we moved to the artic. I was stuck in this room, and he strapped me to this metal table. I know the little details don't matter, but I'm going to tell you anyway.

"He tortured me." They didn't seem surprised, but their faces went several shades whiter and Sam had the most heartbreaking look on his face. But still, they didn't say anything. Tears started to fall through my eyes again, and as I talked, my already hoarse voice went deeper and started to crack every few words.

"At first it was just the things you'd hear about and cringe. What he wanted was to get information about you two. Where you were, mostly. He asked over and over agian, but I had never met you guys. I didn't even know why he thought I knew you. Well, obviously now I understand why he thought that. I mean, you guys are my brothers. Anyways, I think you guys were meant for something, or needed. But I just didn't know.

"Every night, after everything seemed too much for me, I finally passed out, after hours and hours of this. And when I woke up the next morning, I didn't have a scratch on me.

"The third day, I think he realized that I wasn't going to tell him anything that way. So he tried something else." By now I was breathing and crying hard again. Sam closed his eyes, trying to shield his eyes from my pain, I think, but Dean looked straight at me. I could tell that he wanted to get up and hold me or something, but any human touch right now was not what I needed, and he could see that. In his eyes, I could tell that he wanted to take away my pain. But he couldn't. Not now.

"I... He r- " I tried getting out the words but I started getting too emotional. Finally, I choked out, "And he did things to me that no man should ever do to a woman." I wouldn't ever be able to say the word rape unless I was forced to, but they definitely got the picture. Sam stood up, wanting to hug me, but Dean grabbed his arm, forcing him back down. I silently thanked Dean with a nod of my head.

"But then my mind came back to me, and I was able to think of what I needed to say. I don't know why I hadn't thought of it before, but that really was probably the worst wake-up call a person could ever have. I read somewhere a long time ago about excorsizing a demon. I never memorized the entire thing. I was going to, but you know, school got in my way, and eventually I forgot about it. But I knew the first line, and I repeated it. At first he just stopped. But then, as I repeated the one line over and over again, he screamed, and the demon left his body. You have no idea how grateful I was to see that.

"And then my teacher woke up. Thank goodness his mind wasn't too damaged. He knew everything he did, and he was so sorry. As quickly as he could, he wrapped me up in the blanket and carried me out to his car. I hadn't been healed from the morning, and I definitely hadn't been healed from the other thing, so he had to carry me, because I wasn't able to get up.

"Anyways, after getting out of the hospital, you guys showed up." I smiled a little. "I knew you guys were fakes. I'm surprised nobody ever caught you before." I laughed.

"And then my mother somehow became a demon. I knew it wasn't her, because she was always sweet to me. You guys know that story. And then there was that thing in the shooting place. I don't understand that. It wasn't the same demon, but I knew she was one of the demons that wanted you guys. Except, she didn't want you guys anymore. I don't understand why she wanted me, all of a sudden.

"I had to then kill my best friend, who suddenly turned into a vampire. That gun is important, by the way, though I still don't know what it's for. Then we left the vampire place, looking for that gun. There really was a guy that left with it. He was the guy that I was talking to when you guys thought I was going insane. He was invisible to you guys, but not to me. But I got him to leave within a few hours, because I am a badass."

I stopped and took a shuddering breath. "For the past week, I've been having really bad panic attacks. And today I went to the park, and there was this kid. He was drawing, so I went over to talk to him. He was drawing me, guys. But in the drawing, I wasn't happy. I was about to die. I don't know when that's going to happen, but it's going to. Tonight was just too much for me. I'm sorry I ruined the room. I'll find a way to fix it."

Then, suddenly, I didn't have any more words to say, and I was exhausted. I just poured my entire heart out, and now I don't have a word to say.

Seeing that I was done, Sam got up and sat down beside me. I was so little compared to him, even though I was almost six feet tall. He put his arm around me and I put my head into his chest, and for the millionth time tonight, I cried.

Eventually all the tears dried and I needed to sleep. I had a headache from all the crying of the night. Sam agreed with me but didn't say anything. He got up and went to go shower. I laid down and my eyes closed almost instantly.

The water ran from both the sink and the shower. Sam was showering, and Dean was burshing his teeth, I thought.

But no. I was almost asleep when the side of my bed plunged down, me falling towards whatever forced it down; which turned out to be Dean. My eyes were still closed because I refused to open them, but the next thing I knew, he was removing the blankets, his voice coaxing me out, and I was too tired to argue with him, so I kicked all the blankets off of me. Dean chuckled, and I was immediately cold and wet.

I sat up too quickly, and my headache increased. "What the hell, Dean?" I growled.

He wasn't laughing or smiling when I looked at him. His face was unreadable, except for his frown, but the vibes I got from him weren't angry ones.

"It's okay, Jules," he whispered. "I'm just cleaning your wounds."

Nodding, I laid back down and let him. The water was cold and soon goosebumps covering my body. I started to shiver and finally Dean said, "Allright, you're all good."

He started to stand up and leave, but I grabbed his arm and pulled him into me for a hug, without giving him any thought to move away. I felt like I needed to thank him for a lot of stuff, like taking care of me, being pretty patient to me, and for just now, cleaning my wounds. My head dug into his chest and I silently thanked him.

His shoulders, which were tight before, loosened and he wrapped his strong arms around me. I didn't want to let go, because it was so nice to have a brother that obviously cared about me. I mean, my mom and dad always cared about me, and nothing could convince me that Alyssa never cared about me, but other than that, there wasn't ever anyone that would hold me, like real family. I had aquantiences, but honestly, not many people enjoyed spending time with me, whether it was because I loved studying about fictional creatures, or that I was too outspoken and awkward at the same time.

Dean started to stand up, but I quickly grabbed his arm. He looked down at me in confusion. "Dean," I said. "Thank you."

The corner of his mouth lifted up and he nodded. My eyes drifted closed as I leaned back, and as soon as my head hit the pillow, I was out.

People have reoccuring dreams. I had never figured out why I had this particular dream (I failed my psychology class when we talked about dream meanings), but I knew there was reasoning behind it.

My dream started out the same as it always did. I was there, amidst all my peers, the ones I had grown up with since day one. This time, though, there was a difference, small, but so shockingly obvious it made all the difference in the world.

I was at my old school, just walking. I had no place to be, nor did I have a particular place where I wanted to go. I just... went.

People littered the halls, some walking by themsevles, seeming in a rush, and others in groups, not caring if they made it to their destination in time. My smile was seen by many but ignored by all. Soon I stopped smiling. And time seemed to slow down. The crowd of people got thinner and thinner until there was only me, standing outside the front doors, alone.

This is when it changed to something new, something I had never dreamt before. The dark blue sky suddenly turned dark grey, and a blurry figure stood in front of me. The blurriness wasn't the kind of blurry that people saw without their glasses. Everything was sharp except the dark, misshapen thing. I could only make out a few key aspects: where the head was, the white, long teeth, and the eyes, which, unlike its body, was so sharp I could feel it piercing straight into and through my body.

"Hello, Jules."

I stared in responce.

It chuckled. "I was told by a few followers that you were sassy and talkative. Tsk tsk. I'm feeling rather disappointed." It waited for me to respond. After a sigh at my silence, it continued. "I couldn't reach you any other way without being... Well, that doesn't matter. I am going to do something for you right now. You will not be happy now, but in the end, you will love me. And I will love you, too."

I snorted, not remotely scared. A part of my mind was telling me that I should get away and run and scream and do everything I could to escape the situation, but the other part of my mind, as well as my body, told me that I should stay and see what was going to happened. The first part of my mind tried to rationalize with me that that was what it wanted, but I didn't care.

"So what is it? A new t-shirt with a picture of me in a diaper? What about a new Star Trek DVD? Lord only knows I can't get into something else." The next words came out of my mouth that did not come from me. "Are you gonna send Archer back?" After the words escaped I instantly froze.

Its eyes turned up in humour. "That's exactly what I want."

I tried to turn and run but my feet were glued to the cement. I blinked and suddenly the thing was in front of me, and I was able to see its face. I had never been more terrified, and I had seen some terrifying things.

What I had thought were long teeth was actually skin hanging off a skull in threads. The eyes that were so vivid and bright from far away were still vivid, but not bright at all. There were vivid from hatred. Whatever I was doing, whatever I had done, or whatever I would do seriously pissed it off, and there was nothing - absolutely nothing - in its eyes but hatred.

Its mouth turned up in a malicious smile. I looked away from its face and my eyes landed on its hand. The long, thin fingers were curled up in spirals and I watched in utter fear as they moved towards my face, slow but with a purpose. My breath was increasing in speed and I felt as if any second my heart would just stop. The pointer finger made its way to my face and poked me on the arm. In a second my lungs burst into flames and my throat became raw and I didn't understand what was happening because all of a sudden, I wasn't me. It was like I was watching from above as my body twisted and turned in agony on the shadowed ground.

And I was all alone.

Soon I wasn't able to look at my writhing body, instead looking up. The sky turned from a dark grey to a lighter one, and it slowly just became brighter and brighter until all I could see was white. I started to cry from the surprising lonliness I felt in that light and -

A sob burst from my chest as I shot up quickly from the hard bed. I was covered in sweat which didn't really surprise me much. lately that was how I'd been waking up. My head turned quickly to the clock beside the bed

4:00 AM.

Of course.

Instead of trying to get back to sleep, I ruffled my hair and stood up stiffly, and I was almost positive that if anyone saw me right now, they would honestly wonder if I was an old person in disguise. With a grunt and a groan I grabbed some clothes and walked into the bathroom, in search of a well needed shower.

A few minutes in I realized something was a little off. I tried to figure out what it was but my brain wasn't working right and I started to feel really frustrated about what it was.

After washing my hair and body I stepped out onto the fake time floor, water dripping from my long brown hair. As I put on my oversized grey t-shirt and too-long jeans, I couldn't shake the feeling that something was going to happen very soon, though I couldn't be sure if it was good or bad.

I started to count how long it would take.

1, 2, 3, 4...

90, 91, 92...

1546, 1547, 1548...

When I reached 5000 I seriously was getting annoyed at myself. Why was I even counting? I couldn't be sure if anything was going to happen. About an hour ago I remade my bed and upon it. The bed cover was cool to the touch and felt nice, but I couldn't let myself really enjoy it because I was too busy counting. And then too busy getting annoyed at myself for counting. According to the clock right next to my head, an hour and a half had passed since the counting even began. Eventually, fed up with myself, I stopped my mind process, closed my eyes and was ready to go back to sleep.

"You know, sweetie, it isn't going to work."

In less than a second I was out of that bed and looking straight into the eyes of something I was reluctantly expecting but hoping wouldn't come back.

Archer. He looked like he had when I first met him, except the way he was now was more pristine. His light brown hair was still messy, but somehow looked done, clean, and more shapely. His skin was brighter, as was his teeth. Instead of seeming creepy, he has a more cherubic presence that made me feel calm and allured toward him, but I knew I couldn't let him have that effect on me. I was simultaneously calmer and more terrified than before, and I didn't know how that could be.

I sneered at him. "What are you doing back?" I spat.

He just smiled a polite smile. Something had changed about him, but I didn't know exactly what it was. Archer's body moved gracefully as he walked across the room towards me. He lifted his hand slowly, as if to carass my face.

I jerked my head back when his fingers got too close to my cheek. "I'll scream if you touch me."

For a second he seemed to think about it, but in one quick, fluid motion, Archer carressed the right side of my face with one hand, and with the other he grabbed my waste and pulled me to him.

My breath hitched but not in a good way. His grip was so tight on me it was hard to breathe. Suddenly my mind was too muddled to form any words to say or to make a sound. All I knew was that I was scared.

Using a soft hand, he lifted my chin to look up at him. A sly smile rested on his strangely beautiful face. "You will answer to me now. You will do whatever I want. I promise you. You will be okay. If you just do what I want. You know I'm a patient man."

I stomped on his foot and started to struggle but he didn't move a muscle. "Why?" I gasped.

"Jules, Jules, Jules. You will know. In time."

I cringed because as he said "time" his grip tightened on me. "But until you do, you are mine."

My mind caught up with me and I screamed. "DEAN!" I was going to continue calling to Sam, but Archer put a large hand over my mouth and twirled me so my back was against him. His lean but strong muscles held me in place.

Both the boys got out of their bed swiftly and by the time I was facing them, they were standing in front of me. At first a fierce look plasted on their faces, but after a second it was replaced with confusion.

"Jules?" Sam asked. "Are you okay?"

I felt Archer's entire body shake with mirth from behind me. His hand was still covering my mouth so instead of responding to them, my eyes winded with disbelief. I meant to say "Are you blind?!" but it sounded more muffled, like "Awh oo bide?!"

That made their expressions look even more nonplussed. "Blind to what?"

I was becoming increasingly more scared because I know they weren't able to understand me.

Archer said, "You know, honey, they can understand you. I'm not real to them. I'm just real to you."

I head butted him, but all it did was hurt my skull. "Ow," I groaned.

Dean immediately moved towards me. He was only a few feet away but it felt like much more, mainly because Archer actually let me go. He stopped about a foot in front of me and looked me straight in the eyes, a worried expression on his face. "Are you okay?" he asked as he put a hand on my shoulder.

"Uh..." I didn't know how to continue. I looked to my left and saw Archer just sitting there on the edge of my bed, perfectly comfortable as he sat criss-cross-apple-sauce.

"Maybe you should get back to bed, Jules. It's not even 6 and I'm sure it was just a dream," soothed Dean. Sam stood in the original place he was, acting as if he didn't know how to continue. Dean turned around and said, "You too, Sammy."

Except it wasn't a dream, and I knew all too well that it wasn't. I also knew that if I were to get some sleep it would definitely not be alone, and I didn't really have anyone to sleep with.

That sounds weird, but when I was younger, I would crawl in bed with my parents when I was scared. Even though I wasn't scared often as a girl.

Noticing my hesitation, Dean said, "It's okay, we're right here. I promise you, Jules, we will not let anything hurt you."

And even though I kept looked at Archer, who smiled at me innocently, threatening me just by being there, I believed him, because so far, that was a promise he could keep.

"Okay, Dean." I laid down on my bed, trying to ignore the person sitting in it already and pretended to try to sleep.

Seeming satisfied, both boys laid back down to where they were sleeping before and after so many minutes, I heard them breathing a little deeper.

"Well," said Archer. "You can't tell them anything now, you know."

"I know," I whispered.

"So you are going to say yes, right?"

"No."

"Yes, you are, Jules... I've seen it."

I sat up quickly and looked him square in the eye. "I will never, and I mean never accept whatever you are wanting me to do. Maybe I will suffer, even for years, but remember... I would rather die before I make you happy."

Little did I know, that was something that would happen sooner than I hoped.

I lasted for three weeks.

Three weeks of not sleeping, listening to the sound of him screaming, dancing, and laughing at my lack of sleep. It was only one week before I gave up even trying to sleep as I read different books, trying to learn more about what we were hunting.

The day time was much easier than night. During the day time I could ignore Archer's constant pokes or one-sided conversations, instead focusing all my attention on the day's task, whether it be on strategies for how we were going to kill a certain thing or actually kiling it. I was lucky because every day somehow we found something new to "gank" (Dean's vocabulary, not mine), and that really kept my attention to where I wanted it, no matter how many small injuries I gained. I preffered it that way.

The worst times, I think, were when the boys were off doing their own little thing - usually at bars - and I was left in the different motel rooms alone. That was when the real noise started, and it was much harder to ignore and not reply.

And neither Sam nor Dean realized a thing.

I suppose it wasn't their fault. Mostly it was because I was such a good actress. I always had been. The good thing about being good at faking things is that I was never caught in a lie - though I didn't lie often. The bad part was that it was harder for people to know how I was feeling. It was a constant battle between wanting people to know, but not allowing myself to let anyone know.

The three of us (well, I supposed four if I were to count Archer) just came back from a hunt against a ghost. I had to be honest with myself as I admitted that it was much scarier than anything else we hunted because I didn't really know where it was going to come from, or how it would attack, if it attacked first.

I quickly found out that it was just an angry spirit that mostly just wanted to scare people. It tried to fight back as we looked for the body (which, by the way, is really disgusting, if you ask me), and I ended up being flung across the room, hitting my head in the process. I was more angry at first and the adrenaline kept me going to find the body, but after I burned it, an intense headache started.

We got back to the room in no time and I silently thanked whoever was in Heaven that I was able to finally lay down on an actual bed. The second I went through that door I plopped down and heaved a huge sigh. Under the covers so the boys couldn't see, I stripped down into a tanktop and underwear.

Dean chuckled. "Tired?"

I grunted. "Extremely. I haven't slept in days."

"It sure does feel like it, doesn't it?" Dean responded. I wanted to tell him that I literally hadn't slept in days, but was suddenly too tired, and Archer wasn't making too much noise.

I suddenly felt tension in the room. Lifting my head up, I saw that while Dean was at ease, Sam's whole body tensed up. "Sam?" I asked. "Are you okay?" Dean's head turned towards Sam, his eyes asking the same question.

"Yeah. Yeah," he tried to reassure us.

I was not convinced.

Neither was Dean.

"Dude, what's wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing, Dean... Would you mind giving me and Jules a few minutes alone?"

"Cristo."

"Dean!"

"Allright, just checking." Dean grabbed some clothes and moved to the bathroom to take a shower. After Sam was sure his brother wasn't listening in to their conversation, his long legs carried his body to where I was and sat down on the edge of my bed.

"Jules," Sam started. He opened his mouth and then closed it again, thinking about how he would let his words spew out of his mouth. "Jules," he repeated.

"Yes?" I whispered. My eyes were squinted as I tried to keep my view to him. He looked worried and scared and angry, all at the same time.

"I need you to be honest with me about this." His tone was serious and deep.

Just then, Archer decided to start to laugh and said, "Oooooh big moose is getting serious." I decided to ignore him. He must not have appreciated that because he started to sing Sweet Home Alabama on the top of his lungs.

When I spoke, it was louder than before because I wasn't even able to hear myself. "About what, Sam?"

His eyebrows raised in more pity as he said, "Are you still seeing Archer?"

Yes. "No."

"Julia," I cringed at the sound of my real name. "Tell me the truth."

I smirked, a defensive move, and decided I wouldn't give him a straight answer. "Why are you asking me if you're so sure of the answer?"

That was answer enough for him and he closed his eyes in defeat. "Is he still here?"

I looked him straight in the eye and raised one eyebrow. "He's singing Sweet Home Alabama."

Archer laughed.

Sam did not.

Instead he asked, "Jules, I... I know what you're going through. You can talk to me about it."

"Do you know what I'm going through?" I wondered, completely serious.

"Yes. I do, and I will help you with this as much as I can."

I became curious and a little bit scared at the intensity in his eyes. Not scared for me, but scared for him, and why he seemed so insistent.

"What happened, Sam?"

"The devil was literally in my mind."

Despite everything, I laughed a little. When he didn't, I rethought my decision to not believe him and decided that basically anything could happen with these Winchester boys. "Wait, seriously?"

"Yeah," he admitted. "I'm serious. But that was a long time ago. Well, long enough. This isn't what we're supposed to be talking about. We're talking about youb, Jules. Do you... need anything?"

I sighed. "I'm fine. All I need is a good night's rest."

Archer barked out laughter. "Good luck with that, honey."

Sam looked at me, considering. "Okay. I understand." He stood up. "I'm gonna go out, okay? Get some sleep."

He quickly grabbed his bag and walked out of the room, seeming like in a hurry. The word "goodbye" escaped my lips just as the door shut behind the boy. I sighed and laid back down. The lights were still on and I stared at them until my eyes were drooping.

Suddenly my entire body was jerked to the side as I was pushed off of it. I hit my head against the corner of the bedside table and let out a huge gasp as pain clouded my mind. Once my head cleared a little to where I could properly see straight, I turned my head towards the figure crouched right in front of me.

"Oh," I groaned, my hand moving to my head.

Archer's face was a few inches from mine, and there was no usual smirk. Instead, there was a sudden new curiosity brightening his eyes. "I wonder..." he muttered to himself.

Upon deciding on it, I realized what he "wondered."

He moved slowly. His hand lazily touched my cold stomach as he kept looking into my eyes. I couldn't look away. His warm fingertips brushed down my side until they were on my upper leg.

"Jules," he asked as he started to make circular motions with his fingers, "Why won't you say yes to me? I won't hurt you if you do."

I understood what he was trying to say. Or, should I say, threat.

I tried to keep my voice calm and collected as I responded, but it wavered as panic started to rise at his touch. "Because I don't know what you intend to do with me once I do."

"Ah, Jules..." He moved both his hands now, under my tight tank top, and he gripped my sides. I could hear the shower still going through the wall right next to my head, and I wanted to call for Dean, but I didn't want him to come, because I knew this wasn't real. It wasn't real. It was all in my head.

My eyes were still glued to Archer's. I was so uncomfortable and I could pin the exact second when he realized that what he was doing might actually get me to say yes. The glint in his eyes went from light curiosity to pure, evil knowledge.

"Don't touch me," I whimpered.

Archer laughed. "I told you once. I always get what I want."

Suddenly my thoughts from a few weeks ago came to my brain.

I would rather die than make you happy.

And I would.

I then realized what I should do.

I whispered, "And I told you too. I would rather die than make you happy."

It took him less than a second for him to realize what I was implying, but it was still too slow for me. I kicked out and he flew a few feet across the room, his head hitting the dresser where the TV was. It shook from the hit and Archer slumped to the floor. In a flash, I scrambled to find something, anything, that would help me accomplish my goal.

My heart beat faster when I remembered that Dean always kept a long knife under his pillow. In a flash, I was by his bed and my hand was placed under his pillow, grabbing it out.

A huge hand wrapped itself around my arm and slung me back onto the other bed. It, not surprisingly, belonged to Archer.

He pushed me hard against the already springy bed and touched me all around, all the while saying things like, "it's just one word," and, "Don't make this any harder on yourself." I felt sick.

Turned my head as to not look at him, I saw the knofe, only a few inches from my fingertips. I pretended not to notice as I looked straight back at Archer, letting tears come out of my eyes as an act of my terror. They were only partially pretend.

"Please stop," I cried as my fingers reached further.

"No, I won't!" He yelled, five inches from the tip of my nose. "Not until you give me consent!" Archer's breaths were becoming more intense as he said each word. I didn't think he teached his breaking point, but I was fairly sure he was on the way.

A small smirk made its way to the corner of my lips and, through the tears, I looked into Archer's soul as my fingers clenched around the body of the knife, swinging the blade into my stomach.

"No," I whispered to him.

Just then, Dean walked into the room and screamed, "No!" himself. He dropped the towl he was drying his hair with and, in just a t-shirt and boxers, he scrambled over to where I had slumped.

Needless to say, I was in an excruciating amount of pain. But for some realon, I suddenly wans't able to cry out, and I just laid there, staring into Archer's shocked face with a wry smile on mine.

"Oh, god, Jules, no..." Dean whimpered. He quickly shut his eyes tightly, opening them just as swiftly. "Jules..." His voice cracked. "This is going to hurt."

Without any warning, Dean reached to my stomach and pulled the knife out. It made a sickeningly jerking sound, and blood covered both me and the knife. The wound was worse than the pain I felt from it. My hands covered the bleeding wound.

He picked me up and held me the best he could. Every movement hurt, but I didn't make a sound. The look on Dean's face was torture for me. He looked like he was feeling my pain, and evensome of his own.

"Dean," I whispered, my voice raspy and small. "You take long showers, you know." I chuckled.

Dean did not. Tears pooled in his eyes. "I-I'm so sorry, Jules. I'm so sorry."

"Don't apologize. It's not your fault, silly boy. Not everything is your fault."

He didn't say anything, and I could tell he wasn't believing me. Instead, his face scrunched together as the first tear fell, from his left eye, followed by many more.

As he leaned his forehead against mine, tears fell on my face. Not mine. Dean's.

He opened and closed his mouth several times. Finally, he managed to croak out, "Why?"

I didn't quite know how to answer that. I couldn't tell him it was because I needed to escape, even though that was truthfully part of it. If I said that, he would blame himself.

I stopped staring at his sad eyes as I looked around the room. It was such an ugly room, really. The colours were dull and the floor was an ugly green carpet. The walls were what was probably once a bright, sunny yellow, but was made in the late 80's or early 90's. But I couldn't help but admire the room. It was calm and peaceful and homey. And old. Dean loved old things, I realized, and for some reason, since knowing him, so did I.

Archer was still there, but he still was in shock. Staring at the wall was a look of horror on his face. I felt way too satisfied, seeing that look on his face after everything.

Because of that satisfaction, I knew exactly how to respond.

"Because I wanted to win."

Archer's head turned towards me slowly, as if registering that answer. When it clicked, his eyebrows rose up.

I winked.

But then my vision started to go blurry and the pain intensified tenfold. I started to cough, and blood sprang into my mouth, as the metallicy taste told me.

"Jules," Dean said my name again. "Please don't go. You can't go. We finally have a sister. Not that I ever wanted one. But now that I have one, I can't let you go. Please, Jules, do it for me. Don't go."

My vision cleared with justenough time to say, "It's okay. It'll be okay."

Suddenly everything intensified. My vision. The pain. Dean as he cried out.

And then... nothing.

I was happy. It was as simple as that.

I could do whatever I wanted. I could see whoever I wanted to see, and all I had to do was want to do it. I could only describe everything as one word: perfect.

No matter where I was, trees surrounded me. I always had my friend Cleo with me and we would basically do whatever we wanted. The freedom was nice. Sometimes we would go swimming in a pond. Sometimes we would dance, the two of us as we bounced around to loud 80's rock music. We would watch our favourite movies. My favourite times were when we would simply lie on the roof of my house and try to memorize the millions of stars and constellations. It was always serene.

At the moment me and Cleo were having a picnic. She was frying burgers as I set out all the fruits on the blanket. I looked up at her and asked jokingly, "Why are we always doing something? Can't there just be a day when we just stay at home and sleep?"

"Of course, Jules," she replied with a smile. "If that's what you really want to do, then of course you can..." She pased. "Heaven is a happy place. You want to finish this food, though, right?"

Without taking in my sudden frozen body, she turned and flipped the burgers, and I felt like there was some unscratchable itch in the corner of my brain.

It clicked. "Am I in heaven?"

Cleo's high, angelic voice laughed. "Of course you are. That's why I love being here... Because everything is perfect, my friend. This land is perfect, the places we go are perfect... and being with you is perfect."

I stood up quickly, wishing with all my heart that I could be away from where I was. I needed to leave.

Within the blink of an eye, I was sitting in my old truck and a long stretch of road was in front of me. A forrest of pine trees surrounded the narrow dirt road. The trees were so thick I could barely see past the dark thin leaves and trunks. Each end of the road had no vanishing point, and they both seemed like they went into utter darkness. It could barely see and the only lights I had were from the stars, and for some reason, each one shined a little dimmer than the night before.

"Why am I here?" I inquired aloud.

Suddenly, the wind picked up, and I froze in my leather seat. A whispering began within the winds and sometimes I heard, "Go back for happiness," or , "Keep going," and I didn't know what I was supposed to do.

I couldn't think, and I wished for it to go away.

Suddenly I was no longer in my car anymore. It was gone, but I was sitting in the exact same place as I had been, along that same stretch of road. This time, however, it seemed darker. I looked up into the sky, and half the stars were gone. I frowned. Why was it getting darker? I thought this was heaven? Wasn't it supposed to light up?

Yes. A voice reverberated inside my head but when I turned around to see if there was anyone that had said that, I stood up slowly to see who it might have been.

Or what, said the same voice.

I started to turn in slow circles, wondering if I could find whatever it was. A slow, dark feeling stroked my back with its chilled finger. Rusting came from my right and a shadow moved from one side of the ground to the other. There was nothing there to give it a shadow.

I watched the shadow move. Sometimes it would go so fast that it would take my eyes a few seconds to adjust and find it. Other times I would stare as it lazily made itself in a circle, eventually cornering me in the middle of the road because I felt like I couldn't go anywhere. I frowned as I realized that that's exactly what it was doing; it was cornering me.

"What do you want?" I asked, voice slightly shaking.

Why, Miss Julia, do you not remember me? it asked in a familiar slithery tone of voice.

The blood drained from my face.

It chuckled. Yes, it's exactly who you think it is. Did you think it was really just a dream? Did you think I didn't have enough power to get you? I know you. I know everything about you. I know you weaknesses, and I knew that the second you remembered where you really wanted to be, you'd wish you were out of that heaven. Ask and ye shall receive, right?

The dream from the other night came into my brain and I remembered the few features of it. The skin peeling from the face. The long spiraly fingers. Intense eyes... I shivered slightly.

I stared at the empty air where I knew it really was, hiding. "Ask and ye shall receive, you say?" I began, rather boldly. "Fine. I ask that you face me right now."

All in due time, dear girl... All in due time. Now, however, you shall do one of three things for me: option one: you will come with me without an argument. Two: you will go back to heaven with the eternal knowledge that you left your dear brothers alone. And last but not least, the third option: you will watch as your brothers are tortured until you answer me.

My eyes narrowed as I tried to think of any other options.

There aren't any, it snarled.

"Do you even have my brothers?" I asked.

Why, now that you mention it, I do. On the word "do," I saw a mental image that made my breath catch. Sam and Dean were sitting across a stone room from eachother and Sam was laying there, staring at nothing with an expressionless face. The only way I could tell he felt something was from the silent tears making their way out of his face every once in a while. Dean, on the other hand, was yelling at something. He looked angry. I couldn't hear anything so I didn't know what he was saying, but I could sure tell that he was going to kill someone. Both boys had bruises and cuts and dirt all over their bodies and their clothes were battered and dirty. A dark, fairly-humanoid shadow made its way over to Dean. It had no weapons. Instead, a shadowed finger made its way to his forehead and the next thing I knew, his face was contorted in the most pained expression and he seemed to be screaming.

"Take it away," I whispered, my voice cracking.

You can save them, you know, it said. It does pain me to do this to you, and to them. I just want you to help me. And you needed some motivation. So... What will it be?

Tears were forming in my eyes. I felt vulnerable. No matter what I chose, something bad would happen. I couldn't think straight. Without processing it, I breathed, "I won't do anything."

It snarled at me and the shadow glided quickly towards me. I stood up and started to run down the dirt road. The slithering sound surrounded me in thoughts of terror and the only thing I could think of was, I have to get out of here. I need to leave. Help me, please. Anybody.

I felt the spindly fingers circle around my ankles and I was jerked to a stop. In a millisecond, my body was flown backwards and all the breath was knocked out of me and I scrunched my eyes tight. Suddenly my body felt like lead. I opened my eyelids lightly and almost cried when I realized that I was completely surrounded by utter darkness, and I knew that the shadow was on top of me.

I heard the words, you will say yes to me, stupid child, I have told you this again and again.

I spat into the shadows, and heard an 'ugh.'

"No," I growled.

The shadow squealed and I felt my clothes, skin and hair being ripped apart. I screamed in one breath, "Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus,

omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii,omnis congregatio et secta , draco tuam securi tibi facia s libertate servire,te rogamus, audi nos!"

The darkness lifted from me. Finally I was able to see what it really looked like.

It had the same features as in the dream. But this time, the eyes no longer looked intense. It also looked smaller. The body wasn't blurry. It seemed so… normal without those two features. I was shocked that it was just wearing regular clothes over the peeling skin. I was expecting some kind of cloak.

It stared at me, its brown eyes losing focus. It didn't die like the other demons I had killed had died. This one's skin started peeling off completely, but once the piece of skin was gone, there was nothing underneath it. There was just an empty space of darkness. It just looked at me.

I looked back, straight into its eye and said, "This is the third time I've proven one of you guy's that telling me what I'm going to do isn't a good idea. I would tell you to tell your friends, but I'd rather not…

"Good bye."

It completely blew away in the wind, and I was all alone.

I laid down as I realized how utterly exhausted I truly was. My skin was torn and I was bleeding from a lot of scratches but I really couldn't quite feel it very intensely, it was duller. I looked up at the sky and took a deep breath at how the stars were still dim. I was so exhausted that I fell asleep.

When I awoke, completely rested, I was able to feel the full extent of my injuries. Groaning, I sat up and looked around myself. I was still in the same area I had been in before, except it was now dawn, and I watched in haziness as the sun came up. After several short minutes of just sitting there, I asked out loud, "Well, now what?"

A rustle from behind me sounded. I turned around and saw Castiel standing there, looking down at me. His face was stony and he looked suspicious and angry.

"Why are you back?" he asked, his voice its usual roughness.

I gave him a look. "Back where?"

He squinted at me and didn't say anything for several minutes. Soon we were in a very intense staring contest. Finally he said, "Dean's been very upset since you've left. So has Sam."

I frowned. "Tell him-"

"Tell him yourself," he interrupted. "We're going home."

"What?"

Cas brought his hand to my forehead. I backed up a bit. "What are you going on about, Cas?" I asked, getting a little frustrated.

"Jules," he murmured. "You're alive. Somehow. I don't know how. I… I heard you calling for me last night. Well, not specifically for me, but somehow, I was the only one who heard you. It took me a long time to find you, so I do apologize for that."

"Uhh…" I had no idea what to say or how to respond besides making dumb noises.

"Yeah," he agreed.

"How am I alive? Is this even real? I can't be alive, I was just in heaven."

He sighed. "I know just as much as you do, Jules. I do apologize, but just come with no argument."

"Fine," I growled.

With the flick of a wrist, Castiel's rough, rather callused fingers touched my forehead and after a hooking feeling behind my nasal, I dropped to the ground. Except the ground was no longer a road. Instead, it was a hard carpet blue floor. It was dead silent until suddenly I heard a soft intake of breath. My head whipped up and both Sam and Dean were staring at me in utter shock and disbelief.

Sam was the first one to move. He stood up and walked over to me slowly. Voice cracking, he whispered, "Jules?"

I didn't know what to say. It hadn't even been that long but I felt that it had been forever since I had seen them, and now that I had, I was shocked.

He picked me up in a second, and hugged me tightly. "You're real," he said, holding on.

"Uhh…" I responded lamely.

Dean just stood there, staring, as if he still couldn't believe it.

"Dean," Sam coughed. "She's okay."

The oldest brother continued to stare.

Sam let go of me and kind of nudged me towards Dean. I walked rather slowly because I didn't want to get attacked by Dean, though I doubt he would do that, even if he thought there might be a chance it was really me.

I stopped in the middle of the room. The words to come out of my mouth were, "I'm just glad you guys are okay… how did you guys escape?"

Dean's head snapped to mine, and his voice cracked like a whip as he asked, "What?"

Calmly, I asked, "How did you guys escape? How long ago was it that you were there? You don't seem to have any injuries… are you guys okay?"

Sam, from behind me, said, "I don't know what you're talking about. And from the looks of it, I don't think Dean does either."

My feet made their way to the side of the room so I could sit down. "Wait… so… You mean you didn't get captured?"

"Jules," Sam said, "We were never captured. And if we were, we would be able to get out of it quickly. I… What are you talking about?"

Anger rose up in me for the worry I felt with those images that were etched into my brain. "I saw you guys!" I yelled. I pointed to Sam. "You were there!" My finger pointed to Dean. "And you were there! And you were both in chains and being tortured and I had to watch!"

Dean stood up quickly and moved to me, grabbing my outstretched hand. "Jules, it's okay. We're okay. Nothing is wro-"

"No, it's not okay!" I yelled. "I saw you guys! I was worried! I wouldn't even be here if it weren't for that!" My voice quieted a lot and I fell to the ground, my hands in my face. "It's not okay," I whispered.

Dean crouched down next to me. "Jules," he said, "We are okay. You're okay. I promise you, nothing is going to hurt us. Nothing is going to hurt you. You're okay."

I sighed and stood up, suddenly getting over that really weird mood swing. I turned, making sure my eyes wouldn't make their way to one of the boys'. "Awh, shit. That was dramatic. I don't even know where that came from. That was not like me." I looked into the eyes of Dean, Sam, and Castiel. "I'm sorry," I repeated.

They all mumbled that it was okay, so we moved on.

Soon we were all sitting on the beds, facing each other. Sam and I sitting on one, and Dean and Castiel sitting on the other. I tried to ignore the fact at how close the two were as I put my head in Sam's lap as he played with my hair. We all told the stories of what happened while I was gone.

Apparently I was gone a lot longer than I had thought. It had only felt like days to me, but in reality I was gone for ten months. The boy's had been doing their usual thing, hunting, but they told me it was a lot harder with me gone, because it just didn't feel right. They told me funny stories of their travels, and sometimes we would get in the not so funny stories, the serious and gut wrenching ones. Cas and Dean wouldn't cry over those stories, but they'd get a little choked up. Sam shed a few tears, but I cried the hardest.

I ended up telling them some stories about when I was in heaven, with Cleo.

"And the worst part is," I said after telling them about how cool Cleo was, "is that I don't even know if she's real."

It got real quiet after that, and nobody had much more to say on the subject. Cas didn't even have much to say on Cleo, which made me sad because that meant she wasn't real. He would have said something or reassured me that she might be real if she was or if there was a chance.

I fell asleep quickly. Even though my body had been asleep for ten months, my body was still tired, and I needed rest. I couldn't be alone, so I asked one of the boy's to sleep on top of the bed until I fell asleep completely. Sam did, and I was able to hold onto his large body until I did. It felt so nice to finally be able to touch something real.

"Time to get up, knucklehead," was the first thing I heard after what felt like was the shortest night of my life.

I groaned. "Just five more minutes. Or ten... Maybe an hour."

"No, you need to get up. You've been asleep for 19 hours. It's 5 in the afternoon. Wake up."

Slowly I sat up, not wanting to leave the comfort of the not-so-soft-but-warm motel bed. I was slumped over in total exhaustion and even though I was still sitting up, I refused to open my eyes.

I felt the air shoosh past me as Dean walked by quickly, as if with a purpose. "Damn, Jules, you need to shower. Your hair is insane."

I groaned and laid back down into the bed, covering my head with the bedding. The blankets muffled my voice as I said, "You're mean. I like Sam better. He doesn't tell me I'm ugly when I wake up."

Dean chuckled. "That's because he isn't here, young one."

"Where is he?" I asked, still covered in thick blankets, as I slowly woke up withint our conversation. I really didn't care where Sam was, but I was honestly willing to do anything to distract Dean from getting me out of the bed.

"He went shopping for food," Dean said, his voice leaning toward disgust. "Probably getting rabbit food," he muttered.

I laughed but didn't say anything. My mind was quieting back down and I was drifting off again. Dean's boots were making loud sounds, and I felt like he was stomping just to annoy me.

Well too bad, Dean. I was too tired to be annoyed.

Suddely he sighed and I listened to the sound of those loud footsteps make their way over to me, stopping right beside my bed. The next thing I knew, a rush of cold air washed over me as my blankets were pulled off of me by a very, very cruel person.

Immediately I curled up in a little ball, trying to recover as much warmth as I could, knowing the inevitable, of me getting up, would happen soon anyway.

Dean sighed. "Jules, you are literally the moststubborn person I know."

"Dean," I mimicked in a deep tone, "You are literally the most cruel person I know."

"That's bad grammar."

"It's almost like you think I care."

"Allrighty then... I didn't want to have to do this, but..."

"Do wha-"

Without letting me even finish my sentence or anwer me, Dean's hands were on my stomach and I started to laugh. The tyrant was tickling me.

"No, stop!" I yelled.

"Only if you get up," he said roughly, trying to keep in his own laughter.

"Never!"

Without answering, he started to tickle me harder. I couldn't breath I was laughing so hard. My abs were physically hurting. Finally I managed to gasp out, "Okay, okay, I'll get up!"

"You promise?" He asked, not ceasing.

"Promise!"

He let me go immediately. I was still chuckling and breathing really hard, but I was sort of mad because I really hated to be tickled. I was finally able to calm down enough to lay down and breathe normally. Eventually I sat up and noticed Dean sitting on the edge of the bed, an arrogant smirk set on his stupid face.

"You still need to shower," he said.

I sat up so quickly he didn't even see me as I pushed him off the bed.

"You are such a jerk," I laughed.

"Maybe, but I am honest."

"Ugh," I groaned, pretending to be disgusted. I finally got out of the bed and walked to the bathroom. Looking at the mirror, I was definitely able to see why he thought I needed a shower.

My hair was a tangled mess, and I had never seen it quite so out of plac.e The dark circles under my eyes made my already pale skin even more translucent looking. The only thing I could standing looking at were my big eyes, which stood out against the rest of me, with laughter still shining in them. Until I noticed the way my cheekbones were prominent and more defined. I frowned at the weight I had lost when I was dead...

Which, by the way, is a really weird thought.

Trying to get those rather creepy thoughts from my mind, I turned, took off all my clothes, and hopped in the shower.

I wasn't sure how long it had been since my last shower, but it must have been many moons because I had never loved a shower more. As the nice water pressure massaged my skin, I felt like the heavens had opened up and blessed me with the most refreshed feeling in the world.

I didn't know how long I was in the shower for, but I was positive it was a really long time because by the time I was ready to get out, the water was icy and Dean was violently knocking on the door, yelling at me to hurry up and get out because he had to leave.

"I'm coming!" I yelled, turning off the water and grabbing the towel. After drying myself off and putting on some fresh, clean, warm clothes, I waltzed out of the bathroom and into the main room where I was greeted by a very annoyed look on Dean's face, and the back of Castiel's head (who was sitting on the bed facing the wall opposite of me).

"Really, Jules?" Dean asked exhasperatedly. "An hour and a half... You were in there for a freaking hour and a freaking half."

I smiled at him innocently. "I really needed the shower... Apparently."

He rolled his eyes but didn't say anything else on the matter. Instead he said, "Well... Anyways, I'm going out. Cas is here for company."

My eyes narrowed towards him, and he shifted his gaze slightly to the left so he wouldn't have to look me straight in the eye. "You made me get out of the shower to tell me that you were leaving and Cas is babysitting me?!" I asked incredulously.

He mirrored the same innocent smile I used earlier. "I sure did."

Now it was my turn to rol my eyes.

"Bye, Jules. Bye, Cas," he said as he turned around and left the motel room.

I sighed the second the door firmly closed and sat on my bed. Cas was still in the same position he was in when I came out of the bathroom.

"What's up?" I asked him, not really thinking anything of it.

He sighed. "Nothing."

Normally I would believe it, but when he said that word, I heard so much more from it. The problem being that I couldn't tell what it was. So I didn't push it because I hated it when people pushed things with me. Instead I picked up a book off the table beside my bed, plopped down on the bed, and started to read.

Several hours passed before castiel, who was still looking very uncomfortable in his trench coat and hadn't said a word to me all night, asked, "Hey, Jules?"

I grunted in response.

"What does being a human and being in love feel like?"

I slowly put my book down, thinking about it. After an awkward pause, I responded. "I really don't know, personally. All I know about love are the things I've read about in books."

He looked at the floor, a searching look placed in his face. After a few moments of pondering, he looked at me, and I saw the vulnerability within his gaze. "And what have you read about them?"

I looked into his eyes and realized that he didn't want to ask, but he had to know.

"Well," I said as I took a deep breath, "I've been told, and have read, that being in love is different from loving someone. Like..." I tried to find the right words. "When you just love someone, and it couldn't be anyone, the love's intensity varies. But if you're in love with someone... There's no stronger feeling."

Cas sighed. "I'm not sure that's what I'm asking."

Oh. "Then what are you asking?"

"I'm asking what if feels like. What is the feeling a person has? What happens?" He looked at me straight in the eyes, his eyebrows scrunched toghether.

I smiled slighlty. "I've heard that your heart pounds whenever they're near, you face flushes, and you can't breathe, but in a good way. No matter how long you know them, it never goes away, and you constantly think about them, and your heart feels like a hug is constantly surrounding it. I know, it's cheesey, and I'm a hopeless romantic." I snorted. "Sorry... That's just what I've read."

The tip of his lips tilted up with a half smile. "No, Jules... It's okay. That's what I wanted to know."

I stared at him. "So who is it/"

"Who is what?"

"Who's the person you'rei n love with?"

Cas's expression didn't changed, but his eyes went from rather dreamy -which was a weird look on him- to flat and harsh at the same time, whiich is what I was more used to.

Instead of backing off, I asked him again. "Who are you in love with?"

He looked down. "I don't even know if it's even love..."

"Shut up and tell me who it is."

"That's an oxymoron."

"Cas."

"Jules."

"Cas!"

"Dean..."

"... What?"

He sighed and brought his hands up to his face in what looks like embarrassment. "It's Dean, alright?"

I caught myself staring at him in shock. Quickly I glanced at the floor, trying to seem smoth and not embarrass him any farther. "Oh..."

"Yeah," he agreed. "I don't know why... His soul is just so pure. You know, for a guy who kills things for a living."

I snorted and looked back up at him, letting honestly fill my gaze. "You should tell him, you know."

He looked horror-stricken. "No, no, I can't do that."

My gaze pierced through his as I narrowed my eyes and asked, "Why not?"

He looked just as squarely at me. "I just can't. And Jules, I swear to my father that if you tell him, I will personally escort you to the depths of hell."

My arms immediately flew up in surrender. "Okay, okay, jeez, Castiel. That's a little harsh, don't you think?"

His eyes narrowed even more, which I didn't even think was possible. "You won't tell him?"

Honestly filled my gaze as I answered him. "I won't I promise."

He smiled at me. It was a small one, but it was definitely there. "Thanks," he responded, his voice gruff.

"You're welcome."

After that we were silent, both lost in our own thoughts.

I couldn't be sure what he was thinking, but my mind was definitely not wokring right, and the only thoughts that came into my head were simple:

What is it like falling in love? Is it exactly how they describe it in movies and books? Or am I going to be disappointed that it wasn't how I expected it to be, like a Prince Charming coming to rescue me from some horrible situation/

Oh well... I guess someday I'll know.

The clock read midnight when I was awoken by Sam and Dean walking through the door, trying to be quiet by stifling their laughter but failing miserably. I was too tired to move, but my mind was fully awake as I heard Castiel stand up and move towards the boys, probably getting ready to leave.

"Cas?"

"Yes, Dean?"

"Personal space."

"Right."

I almost snorted but held it back because I wanted to eavesdrop further.

"How was she?" Dean asked, his voice a little lower than usual.

Cas responded in a blank and emotionless voice. "She was just as she normally is. You could have just left and she would have slept the entire time, you know. She fell asleep two hours after you guys left."

"But Dean said she was asleep all day. Right, Dean?" Sam said.

"I did, yeah. But she did just come back from the dead. That tends to tire a person out. We both know that... But that's not why I wanted you to watch over her. I just want to make sure she's safe, you know?" There was an intense honesty I rarely heard in Dean's voice as he said that, like he thought there were more people, or things, after me.

"Yeah."

It was quiet for a few seconds. I could feel the tension slightly growing each second, and soon it was so uncomfortable I had to switch my position.

Dean decided to break the silence. "You know, I was thinking... Maybe we should give Jules's dad's memory back. Maybe we could have them see eachother again. Just for a few minutes, not to too long. Only for closure for Jules, because even though she hasn't said anything about it, I know she misses him. Then we can take it away again."

My eyes squinted open. Cas's back was blocking my view from Dean, but Sam was fully in my view. His features were stony and he shifted his body a bit backwards, as if trying to hide himself.

He said in a wary tone, "How would you know she's missing him? She just got back yesterday."

"She always has, even before she left." His voice cracked on 'left'. He coughed to cover it up.

"That's not a good idea," Cas responded without missing a beat. "I don't like that idea."

"Why not?"

"For several reasons, actually. For one, we don't know what kind of things are after her, or where they are. A second reason is that she is fine right now. Is she completely happy with her situation right now? No, I don't think so. But she's dealing. She needs protection, not sympathy, and sometimes those things can come hand in hand."

Sam's head bobbed up and down, agreeing with Cas. My heart burned.

Dean got defensive. "She can have both. It's not like I'm going to just drop her off and tell her I'll see her in a week. I'll be right there next to her. Don't be stupid."

"No, Dean," Cas growled. "You don't be stupid. You're thinking of dragging her to somewhere that already has a huge possibility of danger. Why do you think that's a good idea?"

Their banter went back and forth for several minutes until Sam, who had backed up against the wall, groaned and said, "Dean, I'm sorry, man. But I think Cas is right. We don't have the time or security to do that. I'm sorry, Dean. I know you want to make her happy, but what she needs is to be alive. I'm sorry."

Dean, who had previously been practically yelling, stopped and froze. He had been leaning forward in anger, but suddenly he stepped back. In such a quiet voice that I had to strain my ears to hear, he said, "Can we at least give her the choice?"

"No," Cas and Sam said simultaneously.

I saw through the dim lighting Dean's shoulders slump down at the same time as my heart.

"Fine," he said exhaustedly. He turned to walk to his bed but stopped in the middle of a stride. His head turned slightly to the side but he avoiced eye contact as he said to Cas, "You can go."

Within a blink of an eye, Cas had disappeared. Sam took a step towards Dean, who was now taking off his socks and shoes. "Dean, I-"

"Don't."

The word was so final that I saw Sam's jaw clamp shut. This time it was Sam's turn to hunch his wide, tall shoulders over. I could feel the mixture of guilt, sorrow, relief radiate off of him onto me, and I felt the same. He took off his jacket and went to the bathroom to change.

Within minutes Dean was asleep on the bed and Sam was laying on the floor.

I waited until their breathing was deep and slow before I left.

The night winter air was chilly, but it wasn't too cold. I guessed we weren't too far north. Maybe Texas, I imagined. Against a gust of wind, I turned my jacket hood over my head to keep the cold at least simi-at-bay. When my body started to warm up a bit, I could think, and I thought about the possibiility of seeing my dad again.

And the possibility came from Dean, no lesss! He could be harsh, and annoying, and flat out rude, but I was starting to think that most of the things he had done for me were things that really helped me. Sam taught me to shoot, but it was Dean's idea, wasn't it? He always seemed to know when it was best to comfort me and what I neede before even I knew. He held me as I died and missed me the most. He seemed to know what was best for me...

So why wouldn't the others listen to him?

"- last I heard."

I paused. The voice was soft but deep and gravely. Somebody else, in a higher voice, said, "Are you sure she's here?"

Who? I thought, even the the hair on my arms and neck were standing up, like I knew the answer but didn't want to admit it.

"Well, no," The deep voiced man said. "I just said nobody knows for sure. But last Iheard, she was here. And I'm willing to try my hardest to find her because I want to be the one to turn her in." He chuckled.

"If I help, we get to turn her in toghether. We both get credit."

"Of course, dear friend."

It was quiet for several seconds, and I tried to hold my heavy breathing back, until the one with the higher voice said, "Why does she want her, Dan?"

Dan replied, "Apparenlty she can hold her. She's strong, the girl. According to Boss, she killed a demon by reciting half an exorcism. Kill. Not just send back to hell. She said something about a fallen angel, too, but I don't remember it all."

"Damn."

"Yeah. And I'll be the first to turned her in, because, really, who doesn't want that gun?"

"Right?" They both started laughing.

Dan said, "Then I'll be strong enough to kill angels, too. Becuause what could be stronger than an angel? An angel and a demon together."

More laughter.

I tried to hold it back because I knew it was coming anyway, but my breath escaped my body as if I had been punched in the chest, and I stepped back a bit, trying to get my barings together, but I tripped over a hole in the ground and fellt into a small splash of puddle, right into the two men's views.

The taller one, who had a clean shaven face and dark brown hair, whipped his head towards me and said, "What he hell?"

I stared in horror as the two men started sauntering towards me. Surprise and excitment lit their eyes up.

"Well, as luck would have it," he continued..

Dan, who was the shorter one with the deeper voice, had blonde hair, and huge muscles. He might have been the shorter of the two, however, but he was taller than me. "The little princes is here," he said. "Look at her, Bane. Came just for us."

My body wasn't working, and even though I kept telling myself to run, get out of there, save yourself, my muscles were locked up.

Bane got to me first, picked me up by my shirt like I was a rag doll, and slammed me against the concrete wall behind me. My vision went fuzzy as my head slammed against it. "Oh," I managed to gasp out.

They both laughed.

For the first few seconds, my vision and mind was muddled and I couldn't think, but it quickly cleared up. I was able to really think, and use my body. I needed to think quick, to be the one in control of the situation, and as my brain thought of a plan, I realized I needed to buy some time. Timing would be my only savior here. Bane was close to my face, grinning slightly. Dan was a few feet away, and although he was smiling, his eyes were light up so bight, and mischeviously that I was frightened.

"What do you want?" I spat out.

Bane answered, his nose inches from my own. "We want you, miss Julia, to help us."

"By 'help' do you mean buy toothpaste? Because I'll gladly help with that."

He growled and slammed me against the wall again. It hurt, my cleared my mind more. I could deal with this. I had felt much worse. "Okay, fine," I said, trying to make my voice as nonchalant as possible. "What do you want me to do?"

Bane started to say something, but Dan cut him off. "I need you..." He stepped closer. "To be..." Even closer. "A... saving grace, I could say..." He was right in my face. Bane had back up, but was still holding me a foot higher than I usually stood.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I said.

"You will say yes to where I bring you. You said no one too many times, and she is pissed, just like the rest of us. This war is taking too long."

I paused. War? "Why me? What does she want me for?"

Dan grinned and slapped my face lightly. "You already heard, dearie. You already know."

"I know you're an asshat that's lying to this lump." I nodded towards Bane, even though my head was already pounding. "But that's pretty much it."

Bane paused. "He's not lying to me. We made a deal. Demons keep their deals. You know that."

"Okay," I said condescendingly. "Whatever you say... But really, Dan. Why me? What war?"

Dan's face went white, but that was the only thing that changed about his countenence. "I didn't say anything about a war."

"Yes, you did," I responded factually. "Don't lie to me. I know when someone's lying. And when do Demons ever tell the truth? You're disgusting, just like most," I looked pointedly at Bane, although I wasn't sure why, "other demons. The lowest scum of the earth."

He got pissed. In a voice that sounded like he was trying to keep control but was failing, he said, "Bane. Put Julia down, please. I need to teach her a lessong aboutscum and then we can leave."Bane did as he was told, and set me on the ground, rather lighter than I would have expected.

Perfect.

In one fluid motion, I pulled out the knife from my pocket and stabbed Dan. It didn't stop him, or kill him in the slightest, but it slowed him down for just the right amount of time I needed. I pushed myself against the wall behind me and, using that power, I jumped onto Dan and sent him falling to the ground, me on top of him. As we fell, I held out my knife, and put it in his chest, thinking it would kill him.

I was wrong. I also quickly found out that I grabbed the wrong knife before I left. It was just a normal knife and had no qualities to kill a demon.

Dan was simply pissed. There was blood oozing from his chest, but he stood up, with me still on top of him, and threw me to the ground to the back of the alleyway. I rolled across the entire ground until I hit the edge of the wall, and I realized that I could hardly move because my breathe had been knocked out of me. I was facing the two men, Bane was just standing at the other end, not doing anything, but Dan was angry, and he charged himself towards me. As he got closer, I realized that even though he must be centuries old, he wasn't controlled like he liked to think. He was going to kill me, and he was going to enjoy it.

I couldn't do anything as Dan crouched down right in front of me. I just layed there and looked at him, my heart sinking. I bet I looked weak and lifeless to him, even though my eyes were open, because that's how I felt.

He said, "Oh my, my, my. Julia, you aren't as strong as my leader described you as." He grabbed me by the shoulder and pushed me against the wall, his fingernails digging into my shoulders, making them bleed. "You're weak," he spat out, finally letting ot the anger, and he pushed his fingers harder into my shoulders. My skin was breaking open deeper and it made it more painful. "You don't deserve to help my leader, because someday, she will be the leader of you."

I could see it. As soon as he said the last word, he was going to kill me. He paused and grabbed the knife that was a few feet away. I didn't have enough energy to fight back, so I just lay there, waiting for it to happen. He sliced open my shirt, exposing me in my sports bra. Then he flicked the knife twice, over my heart, forming an 'x'. I got teary from the pain, but used my last remaining efforts to hold it back.

I closed my eyes, not wanting to see his hateful face any longer. I waited for the stab.

But it never came.

I opened my eyes after another few seconds. I was, quite frankly, shocked at what I saw.

Bane was standing a few feet away from me, his back facing the other way. And Dan was just laying on the ground, not moving. I coughed.

He turned around and looked at me like he just remembered I was there. In a dead voice, he said, "He's dead." His breathing started becoming ragged and I just looked at him in silence, wondering why he would do that. He was staring at me, a mixture of different emotions in his eyes. I didn't say anything and looked at him without fear, because I didn't feel any towards him. Finally, he said, "I just didn't want him to kill you. I don't know why."

The speed of my heart slowed down and all I said was, "Thank you."

He looked far off for a moment and then turned around. "I'm leaving. Don't let anyone know what happened. You owe me, Julia." He started to walk away.

Without knowing why, I said, "It's Jules. My friends call me Jules." He turned around for just a second. I smiled at him, and then he was gone.

I stared at the empty corner he turned for a long time, and before I knew it, the pain in my shoulders and chest intensely returned. I realized I really needed to get up and go back to the motel.

So I did. I walked half as fast as I had walked to where I had been, so it took about 45 minutes to get back. I was freezing because my shirt had been cut open, and it was hard for me to keep it shut, because it took so much energy. I opened the door with my key and without a problem and closed the door behind me. I was very grateful that the lights were still off and neither of the boys were awake.

I tiptoed over to the dresser, pulled out some clean clothes, and then took a shower. After that, I went to bed, hoping I would look normal when I woke up in the morning.

Unfortunately, I didn't. I was the first one to wake up, and I went into the bathroom to make sure I looked okay. Bruises were splattered across my entire body and I had dreadful looking scabs on my shoulders and chest. I dressed in a long sleeved shirt, sweatpants, socks, and I brushed my slightly wet hair to cover the sides of my face, but that didn't hide the one on my left cheek or the one on my right hand. There was definitely going to be some questions from the boys.

I sighed and decided not to try to hide it any further because there was no way I would be able to.

I left the bathroom and decided I would try to get something to eat. I grabbed some money from Dean's jean's pocket and left a little note saying that I would be back in twenty minutes.

There was a coffee shop across the street, so I walked over there and bought some things for breakfast. When I got back to the hotel, the boys were already up.

"You do realize that it's like 7 in the morning, right?" Dean said, obviously exhausted.

"Yeah," I replied.

I handed Dean some coffee and doughnuts, and handed Sam a smoothie and coffee, and I had a doughtnut and a smoothie. Very contradictory, I know.

"Thanks, Jules," Dean said.

"Yeah," Sam agreed. "This is awesome. Thanks."

"No problemo."

Everything was normal and fine for five minutes and I started to think that maybe the boys wouldn't notice. I was so wrong though.

Sam had just finished his smoothie when he turned to me to say something and he froze. So did I. "Jules? Why is there a bruise on your cheek? It wasn't there last night."

Dean turned and looked at my face. A fire burned in his eyes, and I bet I looked like a deer in headlights as he said in an angry voice, "Son of a bitch, what now?"

I sighed, and acted like it was nothing. "It wasn't too bad."

Sam growled, "Don't lie to me, Jules. That's not fair."

"It isn't, though!"

"What happened?"

I didn't say anything. Dean still stood on the other side of the room, but Sam ran his hands through his hair and sat on the bed right next to me. He put his hands on my shoulders, ready to talk to me, but I winced. I had tried so hard not to, but I couldn't help it. It was so small that if someone had just been looking at me, they wouldn't have even seen it, but Sam felt my body move, and he stopped mid-sentence. "Show me your shoulders."

"No," I said curtley.

"Jules, show me your shoulders now."

"I'm not going to show you my shoulders."

"Damnit, Jules. Now!"

"Fine." I ripped off my long sleeved shirt, and sat there in my black tank top and sweatpants. The boys just stared at me. I rolled my eyes. "It's not that bad, I swear. I don't feel that much pain."

"That's bull, and you know it. What happened?" said Dean.

I groaned. "You know what? Fine. Fine. I'll tell you. Last night I woke up when you guys came home and I heard you ask if I could go see my dad. I just wanted some air so I went for a walk after you guys fell asleep. I heard..." I paused, suddenly not wanting to mention Bane. "I heard a demon talking on the phone with someone else. He was talking about me. He said something about a war and that I was going to help out his leader or something. I don't know. But he saw me and blah blah blah and I killed him and I am fine, I promise you."

There was utter silence as I finished the last word. Sam and Dean just looked at me. Not even Sam wash showing me what he was thinking. I was worried.

"So, let me get this straight," said Sam, "You heard everything that we said, about how we wanted you to be safe, how we would be with you so you wouldn't get hurt, after you died and you stillleft us without letting us know?"

My heart started to pound. He was pissed. Sam doesn't get angry with me. "I- I wasn't thinking of it like that."

"No, you weren't! If fact, you weren't thinking at all! What do you think that could have accomplished? Hmm? Did you think we didn't matter in this?"

"No, of course not!" I wasn't thinking! You were right. I wasn't. I wasn't trying to scare you guys. I wasn't planning on getting hurt. It just happened. I'm so sorry." My eyes burned with supressed tears.

Sam growled. "I'm going out. I'll be back later."

"Wait, Sam. Don't go."

"I'll be back." He didn't say anything else. He just grabbed the keys and left, slamming the door behind him. I flinched.

Dean just stared at me, still not saying anything.

"Dean, I-"

"Don't." He laughed, but the kind of laugh that people do when they feel helpless, and my heart pulled against my chest. "Did you really think that that wasn't going to end bad?"

"I wasn't planning on getting hurt."

"Of course you weren't! But you weren't planning on being safe, either! Dammit, Jules. What if you had died? Huh?" He looked at me like he was expecting an answer, but I chose to think of it as a rhetorical question. "It would have been my fault," he said with empty eyes. "Just like the first time."

Oh. "Dean that wasn't your fault. I promise."

"Don't lie to me. I know what I do to people. Yeah, sure I save some people, but really, I lose others almost everyone I love... Don't you ever, ever do that again. I don't know how I could live with myself if you died. Again."

He didn't move the whole time he spoke. He just looked at me. I started to cry.

"I'm so sorry. I promise. I won't let myself be so stupid. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

I put my head in my hands and tried to hide my face away from Dean's broken look. He seemed to change his mind about being hurt and angry with me, though, because he said, "Where are you hurt?"

Sam came back the next day early in the morning. He didn't say anything about it. In fact, for the next week, he didn't say anything to me unless it was absolutely necessary. I felt awful and I wanted to talk to him about it, but I couldn't. The guilt was eating me alive. My chest hurt constantly and I couldn't tell if I was having panic attacks again or if it was just temporary bone-crushing sadness.

The boys were out looking for information on the war I had told them about, although I wasn't able to get too specific because I didn't even know much about it, besides the fact that there was a war. They were at libraries (or so they said) and I was left (once again) at the mercy of Cas.

"I'm so bored," I told him in a dead-pan voice. Cas just sighed and nodded his head in agreement. "Maybe," I suggested, "we can do some research on our own, huh?"

He looked at me with the most annoyed expression. "You know we can't do that, Jules. For the third time tonight, you need to stay here."

I smiled sweetly. "I didn't say that Ihad to be the one to go and do research. I won't leave again. I promise. I'm just... I'm so bored. Could you at least go out into the world and get something for us to talk about?"

"Fine." Castiel disappeared from my eyesight for approximately .02 seconds before he showed up a foot closer to me."The birds are extra loud right now."

"Cas, I'm serious."

"I know. I was too." He smiled but then disappeared again for an even longer time. He opened his hands and a butterfly flew out. "You see this, Jules? Do you want to know the butterfly means?" He asked, his voice filled with quiet wonder that wasn't there before. The only times I heard him talk like this was when he was marveling at "god's creations".

I wasn't even particularily interested, but I didn't want to make him feel bad, so I pretended I cared. "No, I don't. What does it mean?"

"Butterflies," he said, "are primarily associated with change. transformation, and beauty..." He stared in awe as the blue and black polkadot wings of the small butterfly fluttered around the room. "If you touch a butterfly's wings, it won't die, like many people think. But it will not fly. It will not... be able to show how beautiful it can be..."

Cas stopped talking and his face scrunched up. "Sorry, I know you probably don't care. Anyways... I have to go. The boys are outside." And just like usual, he left without letting me say goodbye to the person I would consider my best friend.

Not that I had many friends to begin with.

Sam walked through the door first, and Dean followed quickly behind. Dean was basically bouncing with excitement. "I think we have something," he sang.

As Dean spread some papers across the other smooth, clean bed, I shot out of the position I was currently it and danced to where Dean was. Sam didn't say anything and my heart dropped again but I tried to not let it get to me because I could tell they had some really good news.

"What is it?" I asked out loud.

"Okay," said Dean, "We think it's a war. I mean obviously there's a war, but we think it's a war between the demons, like who is going to take over hell as ruler. I'm not sure about that, but I've heard things and talked to people that have told me this. This isn't quite as good news, but the gun? It changes whoever gets shot with it. We aren't sure how exactly it changes them, but it makes them stronger in every way, and there have been some angels that have died. Only angels can kill angels, so this thing must make them stronger than anglels." He looked up at me to see my reaction.

All I said was, "Where's the gun?"

His smile faltered a bit. "I don't know."

"I do." I turned around and Castiel was back.

"Cas, it's only been like 5 minutes. Where did you go?" I asked.

With finger quotes, he said, "To 'do some research'."

I laughed. "What did you find?"

"Where the gun is." He looked grim. I would have expected him to smile a little more if he knew where the thing was, but he didn't look happy at all. "It's in an abandonded hospital. Not sure why it's there, but it is, and I have a feeling it's not a good thing." His frown turned into a grimace. "It's warded from angels."

Oh.

"That's fine, Cas, where is it?"

Cas looked conflicted. "It's at the Village hospital in New York... Where Jules was born."

The drive took no time at all. Actually getting in the car, however, took a lot longer than one would imagine. Dean immediately shut down just as Sam came from the bathroom, his hair still dripping from the shower he just took. I had to update him on what Cas had said because Dean refused to tell him anything, which was quite an awkward feat, but when Sam heard, he shut down, too.

I didn't understand why they shut down so hard. Yeah, they could still walk around and stuff, but they both sat down and their faces were empty, as if their spirits just up and left their bodies. They didn't talk for maybe thirty or forty minutes as me and Cas stood right next to eachother, wondering what we should do next.

"Maybe I should punch them?" I offered.

Cas gave me a look. I laughed. "Oh, lighten up." I went over to Dean and, a foot from his face, I said, "Dean. Deanie Weenie. Deanna Weanna. Dean. Dead. Dan. Wind. Winchester. Sinchester. Dude. Wake up." I shook his shoulders.

He still didn't look at me like I was a person. I looked at Cas and he shrugged. "Just give them time."

"It's not even a big deal," I said. Honestly. Then I tried for Sam.

"Sam. Sammy Wammy. Saaaaaaaammmmyyyyyyyyyy. Sad." I laughed. "Ha-ha I'm so funny. Sam. Sammy. SaAaAaAm. Dude. Get up!" I shook his shoulders, too.

Nothing.

I tried everything with the boys. I sat on their laps, I jumped on the beds, I pushed them - or at least, I tried. They wouldn't move.

Finally I just gave up, and laid down on my bed, frustrated. Cas chuckled and sat down right next to me. My body moved into his as his weight brought the bed down. "Why won't they get up," I said, my voice muffled through the matress.

"I don't know," Cas said softly.

I laid there for a while longer until Dean suddenly shot up. It scared me, so I jumped up, too. He said, "Let's go," then looked at Sam, who was sitting across from him, mirroring the way he had acted just a few minutes ago. "What's wrong with him?" he asked.

Sam suddenly shot up, too. "I'm fine. Let's go."

So we did. And through the long car ride, I told them a plan that could keep us alive if push comes to shove.

The building we arrived at (a day later, I might add) creeped me out. It was definitely as advertised - an abandoned hospital. I didn't even know I was born here, nor did I know how Cas knew I was born here. I mean, I knew I was adopted from an orphanage as a baby, but I felt so fulfilled in my family that I never felt like I needed to figure out about my "real parents". Because, to me, my mom and dad were my real parents, and no one could take that away from me.

"I don't like the feel of this place," said Sam.

As I strapped a gun over my shoulders and slammed the car's trunk, I said, "It's abandoned. No one likes lonely things."

My heart pounded against my chest. Sam, Dean, and I had been wandering around the building for hours and nothing attacked us and we hadn't found anything except for some cobwebs, broken glass, and darkness.

And yet, even though we hadn't been attacked, there was something strangely off, something unnatural, and it was it the air. I could almost feel it on the edge of reality, and I started to wonder whether or not it was just my imagination trying to scare me, or something that was too real.

The three of us were sitting in one of the old patients rooms. Well, I was sitting on the bed, straight as a stick, throwing my knife up in the air and catching it when it came down out of boredom, while Sam and Dean were by the door and arguing. A little too loud, in my opinion, but I already asked them several times to quiet their voices, but all they did was yell at me to be quiet.

Sam wanted to leave. We had already been there several hours and we couldn't find a thing. Dean wanted to keep looking, because he was sure somewhere they were hiding. They both had valid points.

"Dean, the only thing I have found today is disappointment. I don't know why Cas told us to come here, but obviously he was mistaken by the place we were supposed to go."

"No, he wasn't. I can feel it. There's something here and what they, whoever they are, want is for us to get bored to leave. There is something here, I can feel it."

"There is nothing here! Stop holding onto this. We can look somewhere else a different day, and we'll find it. Your boyfriend is wrong, Dean. Accept it."

"Okay, one: He's not my boyfriend. And two: that has nothing to do with what's here-"

He continued, but a voice entered into my own head in the middle of his sentence. It was the one that talked to me when we were at the shooting range and took over my body.

Hello, Jules. My beautiful, beautiful girl. It's sowonderful to see you again. Although, I can't see you quite yet. But if you come downstairs, we can. I miss you. I need you. We. Belong. Together. Her voice was slimy and I shivered.

"I'm going downstairs," I told the boys. "I think something's down there." Sam and Dean looked at me, fire still blazing in their eyes but with a new found curiosity on their faces.

Ah, yes. Using your dearest brothers as protection. The only problem with that is, they aren't going to leave no matter what. Unless they leave now, without you.

"Actually," I said just as quickly, "Y-We should go. Like now. I think it's time to go.

No, Jules. You aren't going. They can.

I'm going to make them leave, I responded back to the voice. I'll come to you, just let them go.

Of course, dear girl.

"Jules, we aren't going anywhere," Sam said, suddenly changing his mind. "What's wrong?"

Repeat after me. Nothing is wrong. "Nothing is wrong." Your angel friend just told me telepathically that he was wrong and there's nothing there.I decided to be as convincing as possible. "Nothing is wrong, which is the problem. You guys are fighting over whether or not we are going to go leave or not when, in reality, Cas just told me that he was wrong. It isn't this hospital. It was a different one. The hospital I was adopted at, which is also closed down."

Perfect.

It took some coaxing and lying, but the next thing I knew, we were going down the stairs to the first floor. The boys walked out the front door first, thinking I was following behind them. I tried, but the doors slammed shut behind them. They immediately started pounding on the door and didn't stop even when it was completely unnecessary. I didn't know how to respond, so I just stood there and waited.

I didn't have to wait long. A woman I had never seen before walked into the light. She had short black hair and skin as pale as a dove, and a strong, feminine body. She looked, to me, like Snow White from my childhood fairy tales. She was flanked by two men more than twice her size, one with dark skin and purple eyes, and the other man had brown hair and I couldn't quite see his face in the dim lighting, but there was something familiar about him. He stepped a little closer into the light-

Bane.

Luckily I knew how to keep an impassive face under extreme pressure. His eyes didn't widen, but I could almost hear him saying to me, "Don't tell her what you know. Pretend you don't know me." He was almost begging. I complied.

I looked headfirst into the woman's eyes but my stomach almost heaved as I could see her better. She walked closer to where I was and stood a mere few feet from where I was. Her skin was peeling and there were red, painful looking boils covering her face. She crossed her arms. I mirrored her, in everything that she did. The high eyebrow. The small tilt of the head. The way she leaned more on her left leg than her right. Her lifless eyes...

Finally, she spoke, her head titing up in a way that even though I was taller than her by several inches, she was looking down on me, and I felt intimidated. I didn't let it show, though.

"Well, Jules I'm so glad you could finally make it." Her mouth widened into a genuine smile, and my eyes narrowed. There was nothing genuine about this woman. Or whatever she was.

"I still don't know why you want me," I said, snark lacing my tone. "You want to tell me why? Or am I just going to keep having to say 'No, no, no.' Kind of like that one band."

The lady's smile didn't falter. "I like you, Jules. Don't piss me off."

"The only thing I could do to piss you off is to say 'no'? Then it would be my pleasure in pissing you off."

She laughed. I stared.

The door was still being pounded on. I heard Sam and Dean yelling, "Jules! Jules! Are you okay? Jules!"

The woman rolled her eyes. She said to Bane, "Shut them up."

I looked at him and didn't change my expression, but I think he knew what I said to him. Don't hurt them. Whatever comes from this, it won't be good. Please. Be gentle.

I almost saw him nod.

Not being able to comfort your loved ones while they are hurt is hard. But having to ignore it completely? It was agony.

My heart ached as I leaned nonchalantly against one of the walls as I was forced to listen to Sam and Dean "shut up." I couldn't let his demon know any weaknesses so I stood with a bored expression.

She talked to me about things that weren't important, as if trying to lull me into a false sense of security. But I knew better. After minutes of listening to her commenting on the weather and my outfit, I was fed up. "Just tell me what you want."

Her lips clamped together and her jaw ticked. "I don't like to be interrupted."

"And I don't like my time being wasted. Tell me what you want. Holy fu-"

"No need for language."

I cocked an eyebrow.

She laughed. "Okay, okay. You are very funny when you get impatient. You'll have to learn that when you become mine, you will have to be... a bit more..." She reached into her bag and pulled out a gun.

The gun.

My pulse jumped, and I shifted uncomfortably. The woman noticed and smirked slight. "I see you're familiar with this. I'll start from the beginning...

"My name is Colava. I grew up many years ago in France. I died and became a very very strong demon. The King of Hell is dead and gone and we need a new ruler. At the moment there are three different candidates for the job: Damon, Elliot, and have actually met Damon, but we'll get to that later... I will be the ruler. I have the most followers. I have the most control. I am the strongest, the fastest, the smartest.. I will be the best ruler that hell has ever had. My only issue at the moment is not having a strong enough vessel. I-"

"Why would you need a vessel," I inturrupted, trying to ignore the sudden silence from outside the hospital doors. "If you're a demon, why do you have to allow me to take over you. Why can't you just.. take over me."

Colava smirked. "Are you wanting me to just take over you?"

"Oh, I'm not complaining. Merely curious."

"Ah, curiosity killed the cat-"

"-But satisfaction brought it back." I finished the quote with a smile tugging at the corners of my mouth.

Her lips pursed. "Of course. I know you wouldn't be quite as complacent if you didn't have any say, so I will give you one. You are strong, Jules. I could have anyone in this entire world, and I go with you. Do you know why that is?"

"I wouldn't be standing here if I did," I said under my breath.

"It is because you are just like me. Strong. Willing to make sacrifices. Unwilling to let anyone know your weaknesses. I know you, Jules, inside and out. I've been inside your head. I know what you really desire, and the funniest thing is that you don't even know it." She ran her fingers through her shiney black hair like a little school girl. It would have looked innocent if her skin hadn't peeled off with the movement.

"Is this body not strong enough for you?" I pointed at the dead skin hanging from her hair. "Or are you not strong enough for it?"

Colava immediately glowered. "I am too strong for this meat sack to handle. It is a disgusting body. You are so much stronger than this. Even your mind is stronger. You killed someone very loyal to me... I thought I would be angry, but you did it with so much pizzaz. Just say one sentence of an exorcism? The full spell isn't supposed to kill a demon! Much less a sentence of it!"

I was immediately swung back into the pain of remembering what had happened that night. When everything changed. Or more, those days. Tortured, waking up better. Tortured, waking up clean. I could handle that, but the second it was more than just physical pain... I had to leave.

"Your follower?" I whispered. "You sent that thing to, what, torture me? And then after all that you thought that I was just going to come for you with a happy mind and willing to do whatever you wanted?" The last words were so quiet I wasn't sure she heard.

But she did. For some reason, she looked relieved, like she appreciated the way my mind was going. "I wasn't looking for a happy mind, Jules. I was looking for broken. I had to break you before you could love again. I was, as they say, wrong, though. You have been and always will be too strong to break. Which is why I need you. Which is why you and I are worthy of being one."

I looked straight into her eyes with an icy light spreading through my veins, filling my entire body with a newfound energy. She had been looking slightly to the side as she spoke, to not have to look in my eyes. Not even a demon could find the power to be convincing when they lied.

I rolled my eyes. "Well this has been interesting, but I'm just not interested. Nice talking to you though. Been real informative." On what it's not.

Nothing will ever be the way it seems.

I turned, but before I could move another inch, Colova's nails were digging into my fresh skin. Her peeling face was inches from my own and she smelled like rotting apples. I gagged, but she ignored it as she hissed, "You are never going to leave here."

I winked. She had only a second to give me a bewildered look before she was thrown off of me and flung onto the floor like a ragdoll. She fell limp and didn't move. Castiel stood meters away from me, his hand dropping from the move he just made.

"Thanks," I said as I wiped some of the left over skin off of my arm. "Ewh."

"Jules," Cas said, "Are you allright?"

"I'm fine, let's just go." We ran up a flight of stairs before we could get out of the warded area that prevented angels from doing anything. Cas was about to grab my arm to take us away when I remembered why we came here in the first place. "Wait, Cas, the gun."

He nodded. I ran back down a flight and turned around the corner to grab the gun from Colava. She still was lying down in the same position she had been thrown in. I carefully walked to her and saw the gun sitting in her back pocket. As my hand moved closer to the gun, I noticed how most of her skin had fallen off completely. This body was broken beyond repair and I was hoping beyond hope that there would be no way she could be okay.

I grabbed the gun without a fight, and walked back up the stairs so Castiel would take me away from here. But when I returned he wasn't there.

"He's gone." I swirled around and Bane stood in front of me, his body looking looser than it had before. "He told me to tell you he went to go get your brothers even farther away. He'll be back soon."

Bane walked closer to me, stumbling on his own two feet. His body seemed oddly smaller and darker. There wasn't any kind of light in his eyes, which scared me. I backed up.

"Bane?"

He charged at me. Like, full on charged, his body moving forward so fast he looked like a bull. For some reason, it shocked me. I had never expected him to ever make a violent move towards me after the look in his eyes. I couldn't move, and his giant body slammed into me with the force of an oncoming train and I flew into the back wall, hitting my head against the hard walls. Not for the first time, the pain made my mind clear and as he charged again with his fist to my face, I was able to duck. I doubt he was trying to kill me, but... I guess I don't know.

The gun was still luckily in my hand. WIthout giving it a second thought, I held it close to my chest and jumped out of the window.

As I fell, however, I realized that that wasn't the smartest idea. Time slowed down as I fell down the one story flight. The impact of the concrete under me wouldn't have been so bad if I the ceilings on the first floor had been smaller; but they were high, and it was a long drop.

I couldn't breathe when I hit. I landed on my left leg and then my back, knocking out all the breath from me. I had to ignore the jolt of pain that went through my upper leg and the fact that I couldn't breathe as I stood and had to run away. Air just wasn't an option. None of the boys were around, so I just ran until I couldn't run anymore. I lost track of time. The random pedestrians stared at me as if I had a second head as I rushed past. Nobody followed me.

Eventually I came to a coffee shop and I decided I couldn't move any more. I had no money on me, but I had to rest, so I went into the small building and sat down in the booth farthest from the windows, my back turned from it. I could hardly breathe. I had ran for so long in so much pain, and I couldn't handle it. But I couldn't go to sleep, not when it was so important for me to stay alive.

A little girl ran up to me, her eyes apprehending me with repressed fear. "Excuse me," she said in a high voice. "Are you okay?"

I simply nodded, not even bothering to look at her.

"Then why are you bleeding?" She asked.

"What?" I tried standing up so I could go to the restroom, but my leg was now failing me. The fall really caught up with me and I gasped out in pain.

"Ow," I coughed.

The little girl said, "Hold on, okay?"

I nodded and grabbed the desk. That made her laugh and she ran off. I laid my head on the soft wooden table and tried not to cry from the pain.

A few minutes later the little girl was back, with a boy that looked to be a few years older than me. He wore pajama pants and a plain white shirt that were as rumpled as his black hair. It was obvious that he had just taken a nap, seen as how it was in the middle of the afternoon, but his blue eyes were wide awake and staring intently at my face.

"What are you looking at?" I asked stupidly.

He didn't answer me; instead he looked down at the little girl, who was probably five years old, and said, "Well, you're right. She is bleeding."

The little girl rolled her eyes and said, "Duh! I told you. Can you fix her?"

By now it was just the three of us in the coffee shop. I doubt the other people wanted to be near someone grossly injured like me.

I was slightly offended no one was worried. But this was New York, after all.

Right then I started to cough. I felt like my lungs were going to burst out of my chest. In a less-enjoyable voice, the black haired boy said, "Rain, go get mom. I know she'll be a while, and I know you're worried, but call mom immediately. And close the shop. I'll stay with her."

Rain didn't have to respond before she ran off to find their mother. My vision was becoming fuzzier and fuzzier. I groaned.

The boy picked me up. His arms muscles were hard and the pushed into my ribs, which hurt the most. I tried not to wince because I could tell he was trying to be gentle, but it hurt so much. He set me on one of the couches, not even caring that I would bleed onto it. I briefly thought that I shouldn't trust him, I couldn't trust anybody, but I was in too much pain to respond to it. I couldn't do anything about it if I even wanted to in the first place.

I wanted to go to sleep. The second he set me on the couch, my eyes were drooping. My vision was fuzzy, my entire body hurt, my brain wasn't working right, and all I wanted to do was rest it off and feel better in the morning. But the boy wouldn't let me.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, don't close your eyes. You might have a concussion, and if you go to sleep you might not wake up. Stay with me. Talk to me. What's your name?"

"My... my name..." I murmured.

"Yes. Your name."

"I'm... I'm Jules, and I'm very tired right now. I think I should go to sleep. Thanks for putting me here." I went to turn on my left side, but I yelped. It couldn't handle any sort of weight. "What's your name?" I looked over at him. The only thing that would register in my mind I spoke out loud. "You have a nice nose."

He laughed nervously. "Thanks, I guess."

"But your eyes are too big."

He stopped laughing. "Why are my eyes too big?"

"I don't know." I giggled. Something I would never do in any other circumstance. "They just are. They're looking at me like they can see through me. That's funny."

"I won't look at you, then. You just have to look at me." He looked to the corner of my head.

"What happened to me? I dont feel well," I whined. "My leg hurts. And my chest. And my head. I don't like this..."

"I know, Jules. You'll be okay, though. I promise. My mom's coming, and she'll help you."

I could only think of a few words at a time so it took a while for me to respond. "Is your mom a doctor?"

He smiled knowingly. "Something of the sort."

"Oh."

A silence fell between us. I thought he was supposed to say more, but he didn't know what to say anymore. I yawned. And then coughed. This time I coughed harder than I had. I couldn't stop, even though it hurt my lungs and ribs more than anything to do it, but I did. I brought my limp arm to my mouth to cover it up so I wouldn't cough on him, although he didn't seem bothered by it. Only sad.

But when I took my arm away, there was new found blood on the sleeve. I tried to hide it because this kind boy seemed to worry enough as it is but I wasn't fooling him. He sitting beside me and tapping his foot. He kept looking at his watch several times over the next few minutes. He said, "She should be here by no-"

The bell rung, indicating someone was there. I turned my head to look at who could be there, and I coughed some more. The lady had red, curly hair that went in all directions and she spoke softly to her daughter in a high, nasally voice. She looked up at me and her eyes widened slightly

"Hey," I said, my words garbling through the blood in my mouth. "I know you."

"Do you think she's ever going to wake up?"

"Oh, she will, dear. I promise you. It has only been a few hours. People usually sleep for much longer than a day when I use my potions on them. It'll be a miracle if she wakes up tomorrow."

The two people conversing next to me were loud. They weren't yelling, but they might as well have been. My eyes refused to open. I didn't know where they were. All I could feel were my pounding temples and my hands, pinned down by something solid and heavy. I tried to move them but they wouldn't budge.

A rhythmatic sequence of drums repeated throught my whole body. It was loud, suddenly louder than the people talking next to me, whoever they were. Unsure of where I was or why I was given a potion, I began to panic. Logic told me I wasn't safe, that I needed to leave, I was going to be hurt or killed...

The drums pounded louder, growing in speed. All I could feel was my body pulsing along with them, feeling like a speaker, unable to talk.

One of the voices spoke again. "Mom, I think she's waking up. Listen." It was quiet for a second, followed quickly by heavy footsteps.

"It's too early. There's no way her heart rate is up to normal."

"Mom, it's speeding up. What do I do?!"

"Wait a few minutes for her to find her own self."

"Mom, I-"

"Hush!"

The son let out a loud huff. "It's too fast," he muttered.

A loud smack souded through the room, followed by "OUCH!" The mother's voice said, "I know what I am doing. You asked if you could watch, then watch. If you can't keep your mouth shut, then you can leave."

I was unable to tell what was said next because it was said softly through breath, but from the apology that came straight after it, I could guess it wasn't too kind.

It became silent straight after and slow breathing replaced it. I agreed with the boy, however. He needed to help me. I couldn't find any part of my body.

"Mom-"

"Shut up."

Fast, slapping footsteps interrupted the minutes passing by in silence. "Mom," came a different, high, angelic voice. The little girl from the day before. "Someone's here."

Pause. "But the store is closed."

"I don't know, they said that we're usually open so they want some coffee..."

"Fine, I'm coming. Kayden, watch her."

"Roger that... Okay, I-think-your-name-is-Julie, she's gone. I'm gonna wake you up."

Fingers pressed against my arm, sliding up to my throat and then my eyes, a painful burn following it. I knew where my eyes were now, so I opened them. "Ow," I groaned, the burn from his fingers still lingering.

The boy from yesterday, Kayden, stood above me, a sheepish look on his face. He hadn't changed clothes since yesterday, his pajamas even more rumpled. His black wavy hair covered his cheeks and I could barely see his eyes. "Sorry," he said, "You had to wake up somehow. I used witch fire to wake you up. Don't worry, it isn't going to hurt for long."

"You need a haircut," I said stupidly.

"Aha, I get that a lot," he responded grimly.

We stared at each other awkwardly for several seconds, both unsure of what to say. I tried to listen to what was going on in the front, but the only thing I heard was the coffee machine rolling. I assumed she opened up the store. "Is this fire thing gonna burn for much longer?" I asked.

"Nah, you'll be okay, kid." He grinned at me, revealing dimples. "Besides that, are you feeling any better?"

I maneuvered my body a bit. I was. My headache started aching less, but it still hurt to move my muscles, indicating that the bruises weren't going away anytime soon. "Yeah, I'm great."

We didn't say anything after that. He was silent and slowly walked to the chair next to the bed I was in, and rested his head in his hands. I just watched him, for a long time. There was something about the way he moved that was almost like he was always gliding.

It was kind for these people to take me in, but why would they? They don't know me... Well, not personally. I had questions for them, like I'm sure they had for me, but I didn't even know if I had any of the answers.

I jumped at a sudden changed. It took me a second to realize it was just Kayden that had moved. As he began to stand up, he glanced at me. His eyebrows scrunched together as he turned away to walk out of the room. I was alone now. And although I had been sleeping for a whole day, I was exhausted. My body wasn't ready to physically wake up yet. Mentally? I was ready for war against the 12 Angry Men. But I was tired, and before I knew it, my head lulled back down to the pillow and I was asleep.

"No, no, no, no, no," I cried out. I don't want this. I don't understand. Why am I being punished again? Help me God, if you are out there. Cas says you are, but I can't believe him if I don't know.

The man laughed. "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes." He was standing a few feet from me, a smile teasing his lips as he just looked at me. I bet I looked pathetic. My eyes were swollen, skin bruised, clothes half-torn. The tears that had been streaming down my face were gone, held at bay by the hollowness of my body. I was alone in this. And this time no one was going to save me.

He moved closer, slowly, and I knew that what had happened would be repeated. I looked down at my arms, unable to look at the man any longer, the man I didn't know and knew too well, and saw goosebumps. I wouldn't fight like the last time. It would make everything worse. Besides, my limp arms were too weak to even move on their own accord, so I just layed there.

My bare stomach hardly moved from my breathing. Was I holding my breath? I couldn't tell. His fingers trailed all the way from my forehead to my stomach, and then I could see my stomach move up and down, the way it should. Maybe too fast, but there wasn't anything that I could do.

"Please..." I croaked.

He just laughed. He grabbed my pants, slowly, as if he was trying to be sensual, and-

I bolted upright, my heart stammering and covered in cold sweat. I hadn't dreamt in so long that I forgot I could... Except that wasn't a dream. That was hell.

I never wanted to relive what I had already been through.

It hadn't affected me that much before. I had mostly blocked it and refused to think about it.

But now, I was having dreams? And not of the real thing... Of a different person?

I put my head in my hands, willing myself not to throw up. The feeling was still lingering on my skin, the nausea, the pain, the fear, crawling into my skin, like bugs were not on my skin, but in my skin, wanting to see me fight them. I forced myself not to cry, but the burning behind my closed eyelids hurt more than the bugs.

"Are you okay?" A timid voice asked. My head jerked up. It was Kayden, who were a worried expression on his face. He stood across the room, leaning against the doorway. He had showered, his hair dripping water onto his shoulders, and he wore different clothes, although they were also pajamas.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, trying to ignore my thudding heart. "Yeah," I croaked, then coughed. "I'm fine."

He just looked at me, scrutinizing, trying to figure out whether or not it would be good to push it or not. In the end he decided it wouldn't be a good idea. With a sigh, he walked to the chair beside my bed and sat down, a foot away from me. Involuntarily, I leaned back. I wasn't afraid of him, but the dream wasn't out of my head yet. He didn't move. His eyes were on mine, but they weren't angry. "What happened to you the other day?" He asked.

"I..." Where do I begin?

"Take your time," he said kindly. "I have all day."

We just looked at eachother, almost daring the other to talk first. I couldn't handle his piercing stare, so in the end I gave up and looked at my hands. I opened my mouth several times to start, but then closed it right after, realizing that it wouldn't be the right thing to say. "I'll sound crazy."

"I put witches fire on you to wake you up from an induced coma that was put there by my mother, so I don't think that this will be the weirdest thing to happen lately."

I partially smiled. "You have a point, I suppose."

"I know."

Where do I begin? "Well... I... I was in this hospital looking for this- THE GUN! DO YOU HAVE THE GUN?!"

Kayden jumped at the sudden outburst. "Yes, yes, we have it. Is there something special about it?"

"Where is it?" I felt a bit frantic.

He pointed to a shelf above my bed, holding a demon warding sign. I sighed in relief.

"You were looking for the gun..." He prompted.

"Yes, I was looking for the gun with my two brothers. We were in an abandoned hospital. We were ambushed, separated, and long story short, I jumped out of a window. Then I had to run so no one would catch up with me. I'm still unsure on how far I ran, but I must have ran pretty far, seen as my legs are sore, and not only because I jumped out of a window. You know, now that I say it out loud, it seems pretty unbelievable." I shut my mouth before I said anything else.

"No, you're okay, I promise. That explains the broken leg, however. How dumb could you be, jumping out of a window?"

"Not as dumb as you think, seen as the only other ways I would have gotten out were either death or possession, and neither option seemed very fun to me, personally."

He nodded, deep in thought. "No, those don't sound too fun."

I laughed. He looked up, a new light in his eyes. "Let's learn things about eachother. I know you're Jules, and that you like insulting boys you just met, but I mean things that matter. Like what's your favorite color? When is your birthday?"

I laughed. "How long am I going to be here?"

"Until your leg heals, I'm afraid."

"Let me repeat the question: How long am I going to be here?"

He thought about it. "Well, with normal doctors it would be about 5 weeks, but with my mom's special stuff, it'll be about 3 more days."

I wanted to see the boys before then. "Oh," I whispered.

"Awh, cheer up," Kayden said. "It'll be great. I'll come down here every day to make sure you aren't bored. Do you want any books?"

I shrugged.

"Oh, come on. What do you want to do?"

"Go to sleep." I thought about the dream, and then changed my mind. "Actually, I want to talk to your mom. Can I, please?"

His smile faded just a bit. "Of course," He responded.

I nodded a thank you, and he was out the door in a flash. I waited for him to retun with his mother,although luckily I didn't have to wait too long. She walked in, her red hair trying to escape the high ponytail she wore. She looked exhausted. The shadows under her eyes and the wrinkles surrounding them indicated as much. But when she looked at me, she let out a little smile. "Good afternoon, Jules."

I nodded to her. "What time is it?"

She checked her watch. "About 9:30 pm. Maybe it isn't quite afternoon anymore, but you understand."

I squinted at her outfit. "Weren't you a nurse? Also, what is your name?"

She laughed. "I'm Nancy. Yeah, yeah, I know, it's an old person's name. And I am a nurse. I'm just taking this week off of that because my sister needs me to take care of the shop."

"Ah." I nodded my head in understanding. She looked at me, waiting for me to say more. Now that she was here, I didn't really know what to say though.

Kayden looked between the two of us, staring at eachother. "I'm... gonna go this way. Bye," he said, and then left.

Nancy shook her head and sat down. She opened her mouth to way something, but I beat her to the punch. "Is it coincidence that you were my nurse that one time? Or what?"

"It actually was coincidence. I did know who you were, because of your brothers, but... I didn't go to a random hospital. You guys came to mine." I nodded in understanding. "And before you ask, I am not a witch. I'm a witch doctor, which is basically just a hunter that uses some witches supplies. Speaking of..." She reached down to grab some stuff under the bed I was in. I gasped. She sat back up quickly, and looked at me, alarmed. "What?"

"Your tattoo!" I yelled out in understanding. "I knew I recognized it from somewhere! I have one now, too!" I pulled down the top of my shirt a bit, to show the anti-demon possession tattoo. "I knew there was something different about what you, from the time I met you." I smiled. That means that I can trust her. Demons are the things I can't trust.

She smiled and breathed out in relief. "I'm glad."

I nodded. "By the way, when you say you knew my brothers, were you guys friends?"

She shook her head. "They are, in a way, famous. They started, and then stopped, the apocalypse. Although that was years ago..."

"Mmm."

"So," she started, and I could tell from the change in tone that she was going to get started on something serious. "Why are you here?"

WIthout pausing or making things tense, I told her all I had told her son. She didn't interrupt, and I was grateful for that. I finished with telling her that I needed to find my brothers, and I needed the gun.

She smiled sheepishly. "I'm afraid you can't have the gun until you're completely healed. Don't worry, three days is nothing."

Pause.

"How old are you, Jules?"

"Seventeen. You?"

"Eighteen. Your turn."

Pause.

"When is your birthday?"

"July 16th. Yours?"

"December 27th. Your turn."

"Wow, your birthday is in like a week. Happy early birthday."

"Thanks. Your turn."

"Does it ever get annoying having your birthday so close to Christmas?"

"Does it ever get annoying having your birthday so close to the fourth of July? Your turn."

Kayden and I sat across froim one another, playing chess and twenty questions. Although "twenty" wasn't an accurate number. We'd been playing the game for over an hour, but it took each of us at least ten minutes to think of a new question. So far it'd only been like six questions each for us. I moved my knight three spaces and smirked.

His face scrunched up. "Why is this so hard?"

I burst out laughing. "It is chess."

His eyes rolled and found their way to my face. "I meant the twenty questions game. I don't even know this stuff about my mom."

"You... You don't know when your mom's birthday is?"

"Well I know that..." Then, yelling, "HEY MOM, YOUR BIRTHDAY'S IN NOVEMBER, RIGHT?"

"April 3rd, and i'm right here, you don't need to yell."

He smirked at me. "I know it almost down to the second."

I rolled my eyes and laughed. "I think we should stop playing 20 questions."

"You think so?"

"I literally just said that's what I think."

"True."

We stared at eachother and burst out laughing. I liked talking to Kayden. We played off eachother's humor very well. Maybe it was the first time I've talked to another kid around my age in a long time, but it was awesome. I felt like I could breathe and pretend like playing chess was something you just did for fun.

There was several feet of snow outside. It poured snow overnight, and I woke up freezing but peaceful. There was something about snow that just... quieted the world. It made everything seem light, like things wouldn't be loud for a while.

Nancy, who stood across the room at the cash register, said, "Hey, Jules?"

"Yeah?" I responded.

"I know you were supposed to leave tomorrow, but your injuries are more intense than I originally thought. Are you going to be okay if you stay for three more? It'll just be five days total..."

I couldn't decide if I was relieved or irritated. "Uh, yeah, I guess."

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine. I just wish I could pause time for like a week and not miss anything."

Kayden laughed. "Sounds like me in high school."

I chuckled. "Man I really should finish that thing."

"Wait, you haven't finished high school?" I shook my head. "Goodness dude, how's that working out for you?"

"It's been awful. There's been like four times where I've had to know the unit circle, and I just didn't." I sighed dramatically.

"I know you're kidding but real talk, when would you even use the unit circle."

"Every time you look at a circular object."

"Oh yeah, that makes sense."

"I know, I usually do."

We laughed again. Nancy just looked at us. There was no humor in her eyes. She probably thought we were stupid. Which I guess we kinda were.

Hannah, Kayden's sister, ran into the coffee shop right then. "Jules, come here, I have to show you something!" Her eyes lit up, and she was running with so much spunk. Her hair was in pigtails, and I wanted to scoop her into my arms and cuddle her.

She grabbed my hand and I stood, tripping over my crutches as I put them on. Despite the way my stomach clenched as I walked, I followed her. We went outside.

"Look, I made you a snowman!" she said.

The snowman was maybe 2 feet tall, with one arm, three eyes, and it was so cute. I grinned. "Thank you so much, Hannah! This is so beautiful, I can't believe you did this for me!" I hugged her, and she looked so proud of herself. I stayed outside to play for a little while longer, and even made a snow angel, but then I shivered. I was wearing one of Kayden's giant sweaters, but it was definitely not enough to keep me warm in the snow.

When I went back inside, a lot of the customers had left. Kayden and Nancy looked a bit serious, which was a huge step from what it was before I went outside. Without saying anything, Nancy made me a cup of hot chocolate, and told Kayden to go into the back if he wasn't going to help. I followed behind him so he wasn't alone, up the back stairs to their apartment. The air was awkward and tense as we sat on the couch, looking at anything but eachother, and I started to wonder if I should have followed him.

I cleared my throat. "Um.. Sorry. I'll go." I started to grab my crutches.

"Wait no," he blurted out, quickly standing up to stop me from going. "Sorry, I was just thinking."

"About...?" I tilted my head.

"Jules, tell me about the war."

Ah, that's what he's thinking about.

"Well," I started. "I don't know as much as I should. But... From what I have learned, there's two sides of hell. These three demons are trying to fight over who will be in charge. I don't know what happened to the last ruler, but the names of the demons are Colava, Elliot, and Damon. I've met Colava, the other day, actually, and according to her, I've met Damo-" I felt my face turn white as I realize where I've met Damon from.

"Are you okay?"

My voice was far away when I answered. "I'm... fine..." I phased out, trying to push the thought away. When I talked again, I felt so empty, and responded like a motor. "I have not met Elliot. All I know is that the three of them want to be ruler. However, for some reason, they need a strong host to rule. I know it has something to do with the gun, but I'm really not sure what that thing is. And I'm one of the strongest hosts, apparently. Colava told me it was because I'm strong willed, and my heart is pure, but I don't fully believe her. I know that's part of it, but I also know there's more. I'm just going to have to find out whatever it is later on."

Kayden looked deep in thought. "That sounds... stressful."

"Yeah, it is."

"I'm sorry."

"You know, I've never understood why people apologize for things that's not their fault."

"Because there's nothing else to say, really."

The week went by fast. Things felt normal. I shared more information about myself to Kayden than I had with anyone else before. I played more barbies with Hannah than I had in my entire life, honestly. I also drank so much hot chocolate that I was pretty sure 45% of my blood was made up of the stuff.

The third day passed without letting things slow.

Then the fourth day.

And then the last day came. I didn't realize it until breakfast and Nancy made a giant breakfast before anyone else woke up.

"Nancy, what's this?" I asked.

She smiled sadly. "Your last-day-breakfast party. We'll all miss you."

Oh.

A slight pang went through my chest, but I ignored it. I wanted to make today good.

I ate as much as I could. Breakfast passed in silence, but it was a good one. I think we all were just trying to appreciate the presence of one another.

As the day went on, however, I forgot that I would be leaving. It went on so normally that the fact that it wasn't normal for me and it wouldnt' be normal for long didn't even pass my mind. The whole week went by in crutches, but today I could walk a bit. Not for long, but long enough. Nancy helped me do things that would strengthen my leg again.

When night came, a bitter feeling surrounded me, but didn't come from me. Kayden and I sat next to one another on the couch in the shop. It had closed down by now, so it was quiet and peaceful. Hannah was asleep, and Nancy was doing work in her room. I got up and turned on the fairy lights, and turned off the bright ones. My head was aching and I needed to do something to get rid of the unhappy feeling. When I turned to sit back on the couch, I jumped. Kayden stood two feet away from me. I told myself to back away, but I didn't want to.

"Jules, do you like it here?" There was something in his face that I couldn't read.

"Yeah." Proabably too much.

Kayden gave kind of a bitter laugh. "Then why don't you stay?"

It had only been five days since being here, but I felt like... this was where I belonged. And I wanted to do what I could to help Sam and Dean, but being a hunter wasn't really what I really wanted. I wanted to be normal again.

And as we sat stood there, two feet from eachother, I looked at the floor, remembering how awful I must have looked my first day here. Covered in blood, trying not to pass out. Saying very odd things... And I was about to say some very odd things again.

"You know, Kayden..." He looked up, and I thought I saw hope in his eyes. I didn't want to see it leave, so I looked away. "I... I want to stay here. I like this coffee shop. I like the way that playing chess makes me feel normal... But I have to help my brothers. Without me, they aren't going to win the war. So I have to leave... I'm sorry." Despite what I wanted, I looked at him. And I couldn't decide if I wanted him to let me go or beg me to stay.

Kaydens eyes were closed. His eyebrows scrunched together, almost in pain. But in a soft voice, he said, "Can I ask a favor of you then?"

That wasn't what I expected. I didn't know what he could want from me, but I'd try to give it to him.

"Anything."

When he opened his eyes, they were full of tears. "Kiss me."

My body moved without even thinking. My hand cupped his face, and moved his head towards mine. I'd never kissed anyone before, but I never expected it to be like this.

When our lips met, I swear my heart stopped. I craved this emotion. I wanted to etch this second into my memory so I could think of it whenever I feel worthless, because the energy I got from him was so strong it enveloped me.

It didn't go any farther than the little peck, but it was enough for me to want to hold onto it. I didn't regret it.

And I never would.

We sat there, just appreciating the energy before we both got up at the same time to go to bed. I would leave in the morning without saying goodbye, and he would wake up to his mom and sister. We'd both remember this, and feel both happy and sad. But we'd be okay.

That's how I thought it would go, anyway.

As we stood up, there was a knock on the front door. We both swung around and I blanched.

It was Sam, Dean, and Cas, all wearing very surprised and awkward expressions.

Sam, Dean, and Cas. Standing in front of me. While there's a boy on practically leaning on top of me. Because we had just been kissing a few minutes earlier. Sam, Dean, and Cas.

Sam, Dean, and Cas.

To be completely honest, I never actually pictured that they would find me first.

I took a moment to assess the damage before saying anything.

Dean didn't know what to do, I don't think. His mouth was only slightly open and his eyebrows scrunched together. His head was pushsed forward in shock.

Cas just looked sligtly interested, but also slighlty annoyed. I couldn't tell if he was annoyed at me or Kayden or what. His eyes were open like saucers, and the expression in them looked like an owl... But he also wore a major scowl.

And then there was Sam. While at first glance, his face had been shocked, now he looked angry. His jaw was tight and his eyes were hard. It made me want to bow down at his feet and beg for forgiveness. Or run away. Which ever one would hurt less.

"Sooo..." I said, grimacing. "What's up?"

That set Sam off.

He threw his hands in the air. "What's up? What's up! The three of us have been looking for you for over a week and you were here playing, what, girlfriend? House wife?"

Dean put a hand on Sam's shoulder and growled, "Sammy! Not the time."

Sam frowned even more. "I'm so disappointed."

I froze. A fire in my stomach started to burn, and I could feel my face heating up.

"We needed to find you. We looked for you for so long. Not even Cas could find you."

I didn't say anything, but my hands started to shake.

"You didn't even try to find us, I see. Were you just hoping we would find you and you didn't have to do any work? Or were you hoping that you wouldn't be found?"

That did it.

"What are you, my mother?!" I burst out. "No, you're actually not. And you know how I know that?! Because you killed her! Stop taking out this anger on me. I don't know where it's coming from, but shut up! Just shut up, Sam!"

There was silence. Sam looked at the floor. Guilt seized me, but not enough to make me take back what I said. Both of our anger had happened too fast. I think we're more alike than anyone else.

"Well," said Cas. "We're glad we've found you."

I was still fuming, but there was things that needed to get done before any of us fought. I nodded at Cas, but stared at the floor.

He sighed, obviously relieved that no one was going to continue yelling.

"Jules, to cut a long story short, we know what Colava and the others want from you."

I my eyes connected with his. I waited for a response, but he didn't give one right away. "Okay, and that is...?" I said.

"Well..." He opened his mouth, and then shut it. Opened it, and then shut it again. He repeated his actions until Sam moved toward me. He moved fast, and I flinched, covering my face. The next thing I knew, however, was that Sam was hugging me.

The first thing I realized when he let go was that I was crying. "Sorry," he muttered.

I didn't respond to him. Instead I turned to Cas. "What do they want with me," I choked out.

Cas sighed. "I'm... sorry... Colava and the others, well.. They need you as a vessel."

"Vessel?"

"Well, what that means is that they will take over your body, and you won't be alive anymore. You'll die, and go to heaven. But your body will still be around, doing the bidding of their work."

"I... But then why do they need my permission? They're demons. Can't they just take over my body?"

Cas looked at Dean, they shared a look, and then Dean looked back at me. "We haven't been able to find that out yet. We have several guesses but we aren't sure for any of them. What we do know, however, is that these demons aren't like normal demons. And they want you to be their vessel because you're strong and - "

" - and they originally had wanted either Sam or Dean, but as word got around, they realized you are much more... powerful." Cas interjected.

"Me?" I said incredulously. "How am I powerful?"

Dean squirmed, obviously uncomfortable. "Well, you know that your dad is our dad, right? But you've never thought about who your mom is - oh, don't give me that look, I'm not saying this to offend you... Your mom is not a normal human. She's... Well, she's not human at all. She's an angel."

I laughed. Literally. "My mom is not an angel. If I was, I'd be half human, half angel... And that's not possible.. That's not possible... Is it?"

Nobody said anything. The truth weighed itself on my heart until it started to hurt.

"How did you guys even find out about all of this?"

Dean hung his head. "We've all done things we aren't proud of."

I caught on to that expression fast. "You tortured someone?!"

Our eyes made contact. With the straightest face I've ever seen Dean with, he said slowly, "More or less."

"Eventually," Sam started, saying the first thing he's said in a while, "The man told us that your mom was the angel Ananchel. And, long story short, Cas was able to find her. She was in prison in heaven for having a human baby. She told us about you, how she chose John because you were to be our sister, and that you would have a hard life. She didnt' want you to think about her because you would never find her. She didn't answer any questions about the other things going on... She would only talk about you, and how she's watching you from heaven."

It was silent. Until someone coughed from behind me. I jumped and turned around, suddenly remembering Kayden.

"Umm." His voice trembled. "I feel like I'm... going to go now."

He ran out of the room. The fear in his voice weighed even more on my already heavy heart. I didn't run after him.

After several more long moments on silence, I shook myself out, trying to ignore the way my shoulders were sagging. "Any news on the gun?" I spoke so quietly it was almost a whisper, but it carried in the empty room.

"We still don't know what the gun is for," Dean said, putting a close to that talk. "But.. We know where we can find out.. It might be dangerous if they know we're looking, but who knows."

"Why was that not the first thing you told me? Stupid. Let's go."

As I ran and grabbed the gun from the other room, and my jacket from the couch, I realized something. The heaviness in my heart, the weight on my shoulders... They make me as steady as a rock.

The building we went into was tall, and abandoned. I started to wonder whether or not demons just liked to hang out in abandoned buildings to fit the stereotype, or because they thought it was funny. I, for one, didn't find it as funny as them, because I personally prefered hanging out in places that didn't look like they were going to fall on top of you at any moment.

We walked into the building. Dean lead the way. No one even tried to sneak around. I felt the demons' presences, and they knew we were there.

"Come out, come out, wherever you are," sang Dean quietly.

We walked further into the building. My body shook from the nerves dancing around under my skin, and I couldn't tell if it was from fear or excitement.

Probably both.

Farther in, Sam started to slink down, like a cat. He moved like he was ready to pounce any second. Cas had never looked more serious, which was definitely saying something who had an emotional range of Spock.

Glass clinking echoed in the empty halls. I turned, knowing where we needed to move next. I almost said so out loud when Cas said quietly, "They're that way," and started leading the way.

When we arrived at the room, I stood at the front, and everyone stood behind me. Looking in, however, I was sort of shocked. Two people sat in recliners, in an ice cold room, and were drinking wine out of wine glasses. Their chairs faced the entryway. One of the people was a woman, the other a male. The woman was short, with a blonde bob. Her legs were crossed, and she wore dark eye makeup with red lipstick, despite her incredibly pale face. She was thin, but the fire in her eyes showed it was Colava. The boy - he could have been 14 or 15 - was tall and gangly, and his sunken cheeks and eyes, and marks on his wrist hurt my heart, because I knew he had willingly given up his body to become this demon's puppet.

But the light in his eyes were cold and condescending, and I knew he was either Damon or Elliot.

Colava smiled when she saw us. "We've been waiting for you, what took you so long?"

"Traffic," I said, tilting my head a little.

She laughed. "I love you."

I sneered. "Who's he?"

"I'm Elliot," he said, his voice cracking. He coughed.

I narrowed my eyes. "Why are you here together? Where's Damon? Aren't you guys at war?"

The two demons made eye contact. "We are working together at the moment. We're a bit more... Civilized than Damon is. We are going to let you choose which one of us you want. This 'war', as you say, is less of a literal war with guns and uniforms. It's more of a... political war, I guess one could call it. Damon wants you all to himself. He doesn't want you to be free to choose."

"That's right," Elliot interjected. "He's not fit for politics."

I looked at him, my eyebrow raised. I could already see who definitely was NOT going to become the new King of Hell.

"So..." I started. "Before I give you guys answer, I need some answers myself. What's the significance of that special gun? What does it do? Why do you need me, and why can't anyone else be your strings?" Not that I'd want it to be anyone else. Someone else would have already given in.

The two demons stared at us.

After a while, Dean sighed impatiently. Sam elbowed him in the gut, but Dean ignored him. I wanted to repeat Sam's moves, but I had a feeling that if I lost eye contact with Colava, she would win.

Dean said, "Why are we here then? Are we your runner ups?"

Finally, Elliot spoke. "No, no, you boys are free to die. In fact, it's preferred. All we need is that little lady over there. I'd be perfect wearing her smooth skin. All I need is the gun, and her heart to follow me."

Dean lunged at Elliot, and despite the smooth skin on the boys face, Dean's hand scraped across the boy's face and tore off a chunk of flesh. I gagged. Getting the hint to distract them, Sam pulled himself forward and knocked an unsuspecting Colava onto the ground. She growled and pushed herself right back up, and lunged at him.

Everyone started at it, their bodies moving like a choreographed dance. I understood now what I needed to do. Why didn't I do this before?

I ran up the stairs, hoping to find a place to get rid of the gun. I needed to destroy it. Whatever power it had, it wasn't worth it.

A man slipped out from the shadows, making me jump. He was shorter than me, but definitely older. His skin was smooth and clear. He leaned agaisnt the wall in a regular t-shirt with blue jeans, making a casual, cool look. I would have thought he was a normal person if not for the full black eyes.

"Oh, my dear," said Damon, a smirk forming on his face. "How... wonderful it is to see you again."

My eyes narrowed. "We've never met. But I do know from that slimy smirk on your face that I'm going to kill you."

He laughed a full-bellly laugh. "Yes, we have. Don't you remember? Bang bang, sista." He laughed again.

It all suddenly came back to me, back when Dean was teaching me to shoot a gun. I had been possessed...

Blood rushed to my face as my teeth bared. "You... You said something back then about how I killed one of your followers with a sentence? I... I thought that was Colava's follower. That's what she told me."

"I bet she told you a few other things, too. Several other... Lies... Colava's very talented at that. It's funny, actually. I bet she told you she wanted you broken." Damon's eyes started shining with excitement, like he was getting a high off of this. Off the way my anger was building at the same time that my heart pulled. "No, my dear. That was me. Although, to be completely honest, I didn't always want you."

"What made you change your mind?" Why did it have to be me?

"Your strength. I wanted information about the famous Winchester boys. They've always been the ones that people have chosen, and you were related by blood... But... After the death of my follower, I realized... You're too... perfect to be anyone but mine. The Winchesters have nothing on you "

I wanted to throw up, but I couldn't let myself. "Go to hell," I spat.

"Hmm. Interesting choice of words... I'll go... But only if you go with me."

He grabbed onto me and kissed me. It caught me so off guard that I froze. A kiss was the last thing I expected from the thing that wanted to take over my body.

Suddenly memories started rushing back to me. Me as a little girl. Playing with random cats and dogs who had been limp seconds previously. Reading books on life and death, demons and angels. I could never tell which stories were true, but I read them anyway. In middle school, meeting Alyssa. My parents and I sitting in front of the television, watching terrible movies just for fun. Dinners with Dad. Hugs from mom...

Meeting Sam and Dean. I felt presently the way I felt when I first met them: scared. The next memory. Finding out these boys had killed my mom, and at the time thinking they had killed my dad. Later I'd found out that that wasn't the case, but the hurt crushed my present body. Next. Alyssa standing over me, telling me she hated me. I wanted to cry.

Ever since these boys came into your life, what has gone right? A voice said. Why would you want to stay with them?

Bitterness clouded my thoughts. The voice was right. Why would I want to stay with these horrible people. They were evil. Evil. Evil. Evil. Evil. Evil. Evil. Evil. Evil. They're evil. Evil. Evil. Evil.

I wanted to believe it. It was their fault, right? But something in my heart told me that wasn't the case. Something told me these thoughts weren't mine. "No," I whispered, forcing myself to come back to reality. I pushed off the monster in front of me. "They aren't." Suddenly my voice, if possible got even quieter. "They aren't the evil ones. You are."

I lunged for him. My body slammed into his, and we both went crashing down the stairs, back to where the others were fighting. Somewhere on the way down, I hit my head, and as I tried getting back up to him, my head pounded. I tried to ignore it as I stood up.

Something in the corner of my eye got my attention.

I pretended I didn't see the gun that had fallen out of my pocket. He didn't go after it. His eyes were focuses intently on me, like he could see right into my mind... He probably could.

I got an idea. The thought scared me. I wanted to fight it, but I just... knew it was what I needed to do. It was right.

It was destiny.

I looked over at Damon, who was now sitting on the staircase, waiting for me. "That took you long enough, my dear."

I narrowed my eyes.

"Now, don't give me that look." Damon jumped off the staircase and strutted to me. I back up, strategically moving to the gun. He followed me, not realizing he didn't have it anymore. I stopped against the wall, 3 feet from the edge of the gun that was around the corner. He put his hand up to my chin and stared into my eyes. "Can't we be together, Jules?" He whispered.

I stared back and stayed silent, almost as if I was reconsidering.

Then I stuck out my tongue and lunged 3 feet away.

The gun felt heavy in my hand. Making eye contact with Damon, I put the gun up to my head. I briefly saw his eyes widen before I pulled the trigger.

And then I was gone.

I opened my eyes and sat up, a wet liquid streaming down my face. I couldn't remember where I was for a few seconds. Then it all came crashing back to me.

My heart surged. I clawed at my chest, because suddenly my heart was on fire. It slowly spread to the rest of my body. It was too much to handle. A high pitched sound from far away came closer and closer until I realized that the sound was me screaming.

Suddenly an invisible force was pulled my limbs away from my center. The pull was too much to fight, and I had to stop fighting it. A light started burning brighter than anything I had ever seen. Confusion muddled my thoughts. The only thing that I could grasp onto was that this was the end.

I was dying.

I didn't want to die. I refused to die. At 17 - no, 18 years old now, I really was too young. There were too many things i had to fight for.

And I wasn't going to give into it.

Gravity strengthened and I was laying flat against the ground, not moving but needing too because it hurt too much. I kept repeating, I'm not going to die, I'm going to win, his death will not be in vain.

And then suddenly, the gravity was gone. Not just the strength of it, but gravity all together. I started to float, but I could control where I floated to. I stared at the people around me, ready to stop the fight. But it was already stopped.

Time had stopped completely.

Sam's body was there, but there was no life in it anymore. A bone crushing sadness and anger pulsed through my body. What happened when I was gone?

Dean looked more fierce that I'd ever seen him. His teeth were bared like a lion, and he was in the middle of stabbing Damon.

I turned to see Cas, and I blanched.

I saw his wings.

What shocked me first was the color. They were black, not white like I always imagined an angel's wings to be. They were also big, bigger than I had ever imagine them. They were spanned out in all their glory, and each wing was AT LEAST 4 times the length of a grown man. How he never ran into anything was a wonder.

Time started moving agian, slowly. It was like watching slow motion slowly speed up. I had to do somehting fast.

And without knowing how I knew how to do it, my hand started to shake, and a power surged in it. Even though time sped up to normal, I had all the time in the world. I pointed at Elliot and a lightning-type light burst through the end of my middle finger. It hit him square in the chest and his decaying body flopped onto the floor, a dead look in his eyes. How's that for a "screw you."

I repeated the move to Colava, but decided to leave Damon to Dean. He would appreciate that. Plus, Damon was already dead.

Time went back to normal. Dean's knife went through Damon, whose body went limp.

And then there was silence.

Dean gasped. Cas turned to me, his face whitening more and more as he stared at my body.

"Jules..." Cas whispered, his voice echoing in the deadly silent house. "Your wings."

I turned my head to the side, and my breath left my chest. I was stunned.

The most beautifull things I had ever seen in my entire life rested on my shoulders. They weighed almost nothing, but now that he pointed them out, I could feel them. The wings spanned out not as much as Cas's, but they were at least 15 feet each. The color struck me the most, the real reason I lost my breath.

They were gold, and slightly glowing.

"So," I managed to say breathily, "That's what the gun does."

"Yeah." Cas kept staring. "I've never seen them like that before. They're... so beautiful."

I nodded slowly. "Yeah... They are."

"I- I don't see anything," Dean interjected. "What do they look like?"

"Like heaven."

And then my body crumpled forward. I didn't feel any more pain, but there was something surging through my body, too much for me to handle. I was conscious, but I couldn't see anything. My body went limp, yet I could hear Cas and Dean running to me.

When I came to, things had changed. The two men in front of me looked different. Their faces were the same, but I could also see something underneath their bodies. It was almost like a glow. Cas's was white, and Dean's was blue. Somehow I just knew they were souls. And the two souls blended in perfect harmony.

They sat on their knees, both on my right side, fingers intertwined, white from clenching so hard.

I'm sure I looked horrible. I smelled burning hair, half my face felt swollen, and every time I moved, I flinched from the bruising of everything that had happened that night. I guess becoming an angel didn't stop me from feeling pain.

Despite it all, I smiled goofily.

"Awwww," I cooed. Dean blushed hard, but he didn't push Cas's hand away. A warmth spread through my body, and I started to cry.

They let go of each other. Dean sat next to me and pulled me into a hug. .

"What's wrong? Why are you crying? They're gone, Jules," Dean said worridly.

I cried harder. Through the sobs, I managed to say, "I'm so bittersweet right now. They're gone, and we're all safe, and I'm happy about that. But Sammy's gone. And I don't want him to be gone."

Dean put his arms around me, and picked me up gently. "You don't need to worry about Sammy, Jules. He'll be back. He's been back before, and this time he has even more of a reason to fight back. Cas and I will get him back, don't worry." Then, with a tinge of sadness in his voice, he said, "You should be happy. You get to go back to your old life now, Julia."

Despite the fact that my face was in my hands, I kept crying and elbowed him in the gut, even though it hurt me to use those muscles. "You're stupid, Dean. I'm not going back to my old life. What's waiting for me there? Nothing is... But I'm okay with that. Because I have you guys now."

I looked at them as I said the last words, almost as if daring them to say otherwise. Before Cas had to look away, I saw tears in his eyes. Dean did the exact opposite. He openly burst into tears, and I tried to remember a time when I saw Dean look so obviously emotional.

"Why are you crying now, Deanie Weenie?" I laughed.

"There's nothing wrong with an old man's tears if they're having a good day."

The three of us laughed. When we calmed down, it was silent for a long time.

"What now?" I asked softly.

"'What now?'" repeated Dean. "Now we keep doing what we've always been doing: making a fuss and saving people's lives."

Okay, I thought. A thought popped into my head.

"If they were demons, why did we have to ask me permission to take over my body? They could have done it just because they wanted to... I never didn figure that out."

Dean stared at me. "Well... You now know what the gun does... It turns you into an angel. They must have used the guns on themselves, without thinking of some of the consequences. Angels need permission to take over people's bodies, right? So they couldn't possess you without your consent."

"Oh," I whispered. "Do you.. Do you think it would be possible for me to possess soemone? It's not in my planner to do that or anything, but... Do you think it's possible."

Dean gave me a funny look. "I don't know."

My body froze up, just a little. I wouldn't want to have that kind of power. I wouldn't want to know I could do that.

Later in the car, the three of us talked normally. Well, as normal as you can get for us. We talked about where to eat, how we were going to find Sammy, and other things. We drove nowhere, just waisting gas. I looked out the window and stared at the passing trees, and random buildings. The trees were dead, but there was still snow on the ground, and it was still snowing, so there was this rare beauty I got to see. There was a sort of quiet in the air and my eyes started drooping.

"So, Cas," I whispered.

"Yeah?"

I smirked. "When are you going to ask Dean out?"

There was an awkward silence. I peeked out my eyelids and saw Dean blushing and Cas with a mortified look, staring at me. I winked, and closed my eyes again.

As he stammered for the next few moments, trying to find what to say, I laid my weary head to rest, and cried no more.