Gentle Respite

The Georgia humidity was killer. Humidity in the south in general was like that. It made you feel sticky and unwilling to do much. Yet when your life was on the line, you tended to ignore that. You ignored a lot of things like that. He knew it in a life he lived before and it was life he lived now out here where you weren't safe unless you had a means of protecting yourself.

Adonai Hakimi knew that all too well when the world ended and the nightmare began. When that happened, he was forced to rely on the skills he had been trained in since childhood and what he learned as an adult. Stealth, cunning, not to mention good aim, all good skills to use as he wandered through the south, trying to find respite from the nightmare that plagued him and thousands of others that he hoped survived. It was made bearable when he picked up a four legged companion that he called Krav.

Together, they roamed through Georgia, looking for a place of respite while fending off the walking dead. Krav had his back and had a talent for sniffing out the dead flesh, alerting him before they were ambushed. It worked for the most part. Until they were caught in a difficult situation. It put to the test the concept of man's best friend and Adonai found himself thinking that maybe that he was finally going to buy it. That was when he met them.

It was Rick that saved him and brought him to Herschel's farm. From there he met the people that he would end up swearing to protect from the nightmares of the world. With Krav as his means of judgment, he found himself a place but he was still alone. The world was different from what it once was and he had learned quickly that he was on his own. After he lost everything.

"So… you going to tell us your name?"

She was persistent. Adonai had to give her that. And she was nothing like her older sister. She was the one that nursed him after Rick brought him in. She was the one that came near him along with her father, checking him out since he had a serious head injury. He didn't say much to anyone unless he had to speak to them and they were content to let him be since he would silently help them out to keep the farm safe.

He had been with them for a few weeks and had an established routine. In the mornings he conducted a patrol and then spent the better part of it working out. The rest of the time was helping out around the farm or helping Rick and the others making the place free of the rotting corpses they called walkers. He insisted upon pulling his own weight around the place despite the fact that Shane looked at him like he was a threat. Maybe he was since his own past made him capable of fending off the walkers with Krav's help. He just didn't count on her watching him.

Adonai looked at her with a piercing look. Even when he was terse, she didn't shy from him. He asked, "What difference does it make if you know my name? I only agreed to stay until your father said I was good to go."

"Seems to me you decided that before he did."

Adonai paused in the movements he was practicing and turned to look at her. She had a piercing look herself and while she appeared innocent and obviously scarred by the nightmare, she had strength that people probably dismissed. "Keeping in shape."

"I know. So… your name."

Sighing, Adonai replied, "Adonai."

She repeated his name. In her Georgia accent, it felt like the honey he used to eat with bread. It sounded sweet and soothing to his ears. It also triggered a warning and he cleared his throat and turned his back on her. "I need to finish."

She said nothing but left. Adonai wasn't sure but he felt that she was watching him. It wasn't bad but… he knew that he shouldn't and threw himself into work. A mistake since he was nursing a concussion and suffered the consequences for overexertion. He hid it though. What happened then was a dream and…

"You wanna come in for dinner?"

Nighttime was the only sense of peace even if it was skewed. He could keep watch and not be part of either group. He stayed in between Rick's group and the house. He was used to it and Krav was nearby to warn him. He wasn't one of them. Even if people said so, he knew different. And yet, she kept reaching a hand out to him, trying to get him to join them.

"You have to eat."

Adonai had rations and he and Daryl hunted. He wasn't hurting for food. "Why?"

"Because."

The hand that extended towards him was like a lifeline. As much as he wanted to take it, he couldn't. "I can't."

"Why not? You're alone here."

"I got Krav."

"I meant people, Adonai."

When the nightmare started, he had others. One by one though the nightmare caught up with them and he found himself alone with Krav as his only means of protection and companionship. Other people he chanced upon, hung with them and kept moving. There was no place for someone like him. He looked at her and said, "I'm not the best company."

"You're just out of practice. Please."

The hand was extended before him once again. It was painful and yet he wanted it bad enough that he took the hand. He let himself be helped up and guided to the house. He let himself be shown what he remembered before the world ended and the most dangerous thing planted a seed in his mind. It was planted and it took root. And it was a good thing too.

When the farm was overrun by walkers, he fought so they could get away. The odds were definitely against him since it was a herd. Maybe it was sheer dumb luck that he made it out after sending Krav to protect Lori. He knew she was pregnant and the old feelings he used to feel in his previous life made themselves known. He felt the calling he had when he was a soldier, the sheepdog, the protector and he took it and ran.

How he made it out, he didn't know. All he knew was that they had to get out and they did. It was inevitable that they would be separated but that dangerous seed that planted itself in his mind, it started to grow. He started to hope despite everything. He almost cursed it because it had been planted by her with her piercing blue eyes and that smile she seemed to have for him. The numbness he had felt for so long was fading away.

He was unprepared for the hug when he caught up with them. She saw him and ran to him and grabbed him. He didn't know what to do then but frown in confusion. Was it relief? Maybe but he wasn't sure of what to make of it and tentatively returned it before joining the group. He was distracted from what it meant when Rick revealed that he had killed Shane but Adonai knew it was only a matter of time. He had seen the look in Shane's eyes before but didn't say anything. It wasn't his place at the time and looking at Rick… Maybe he should have said something.

He was distracted once more when he felt her sit really close to him and lean on him. It made him want to bolt but he willed himself to stay. He wasn't sure of what to make of it and he was as stiff as a poker. Not that she seemed to mind. She seemed… happy that he had made it out alive. Why, he could only guess. She didn't know him from Adam and yet…

"I'm glad you made it out."

"I did what I had to do," was all he said as he adjusted his position while watching the area. "Not the first time I dealt with a herd."

"How did you survive?" Herschel had asked the question.

All eyes were on him. Adonai saw that they were curious and another look appeared, mostly in Rick's and Daryl's eyes. He knew that look too. There wasn't a point to lying but he was wary. "Don't know. Luck. I use these." He held up the pair of scrima he had carried and used more than he did the sword on his back. "And Krav can smell a walker before I see them. How I able to avoid getting caught mostly. He'll do while we move."

"What were you before?"

It was a loaded question. Adonai could lie about it but they weren't stupid and… he liked them. It was a first in a long time. Looking at Rick, square in the eye he replied, "Soldier. Israeli. Legal resident here."

Nothing bad happened but Adonai found himself in a position where Rick and Daryl relied on him to help keep their group safe. He wasn't a leader but he offered his services as he had done previously with other groups. He even helped clear out the prison they found after traveling and hiding for months. He got them to safety. Now it was time to move on.

"You're thinking of leaving aren't you?"

It was his time to patrol the fences. He preferred the third watch and Rick let him have it. It was quiet and alone time and gave him the opportunity on how to explain that he needed to move on. She figured it out and came to him. He looked at her and then at the landscape, "Time for me to go."

"Why?"

"Cause."

"That's not a good reason."

Adonai looked at her. He gave her a piercing look, one he hoped would relay that he wanted her to leave him alone. Not that his heart was into it. "I said I would stay and help get you all somewhere safe. That didn't mean that I would stay permanently."

"Bullshit. You could've left plenty of times over the last few months but you didn't. You could've left after we secured the cell block. Why didn't you?"

"Always something to do."

"Don't."

Adonai heard the sharp tone and looked to find her piercing blue eyes looking up at him. He narrowed his dark ones in return. He gave a warning gesture, "Don't presume to know who I am. You don't know me. What I am. You don't know. I can't stay." He leaned against the fence and pressed his forehead to it.

"I do know you."

Adonai looked up at her as she repeated, "I do know you. You're good. Kind. You help people. And you're lonely."

He snorted and turned to walk away. No way was it going there. He heard her give chase and hoped that she would give up if he continued to ignore her.

"You were out there alone with Krav. You lived. You found us. You stayed when you told us you usually move on. You like it her. With us." She huffed and added, "It was not your fault."

Adonai stopped and closed his eyes. He knew what she was talking about. She was the only one he told and he had a small regret telling her. It only sprung up because he noticed the scars on her wrists from her suicide attempt. He gritted his teeth and wheeled to face her, "You don't know the half of it."

"I know that you do everything you can. The night we lost the farm… you sent Krav to protect us. You knew he would tell us if walkers were nearby. You stayed behind. Alone. I know you."

She was crying. He saw the tears and pursed his lips. He didn't like seeing that and reached out to wipe the tears away. He didn't know what to say. Everything she said was true. But did she know that this was only a dream and it would eventually be consumed by the nightmare? Softly the word came out, "I'm sorry."

He was stunned when she wrapped her arms around him and begged him to stay. He stood there, not knowing what to do. He did manage, "Why do you want me to stay?"

He didn't get an answer but just a tighter hug. He then heard, "You said you wanted respite. Can't you find it here?"

He didn't have an answer for that question but he thought about it as the days went by and he didn't mention leaving. He was still alert to whatever was out there and did his job but he did feel that he could be at ease with the people here. Certainly she made it clear that she wanted him there.

"Brought you something."

Adonai looked down from where he had taken a lookout post. His leg was dangling down and he was leaning against his scrima while using the binoculars Rick gave him to keep an eye out. He saw her holding what was to be lunch that day and smiled down at her. He jumped down to accept, aware that the numbness he had been living with for so long was gone. Standing there with her he felt warmth. Looking around, he could tell that they had something here even after the mishap with one of the inmates and Lori dying. From that came Judith. Life springing forth even in this nightmare they were living.

He looked at her, staring at him with those blue eyes and a smile on her face. He thanked her, "Thank you, Beth."

He did have an answer to the question she had asked him. He did find respite from everything. It was gentle and staring him in the face. He would do what he could to keep this going. Until Woodbury happened…

A/N: An exploration teaser with a character for a new fandom. Please review if you would like to see more about Adonai Hakimi.