Hola! This is my first story on this account ... so be nice ;) & I'm only 14, and have NO experience of this haha! I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did writing it.
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing of The Hunger Games, it all belongs to Suzanne Collins. I only own the plotline.
PS: PLEASE REVIEW!
It shot at me. It ran through my vains, stayed in my mind until I felt like I was going to explode. Prim. My Prim, burning to death before my eyes, begging for my help, and I tried to, but I failed. I failed my little sister, I let her die when I could have tried harder, I have nobody to blame but myself. Because it was me.
I killed Primrose Everdeen.
I scream and scream until my voice gives up. I kick the sheets off the bed and somehow, I stop when I feel 2 strong, securing arms around me, keeping me safe, whispering in my ear and kissing my forehead multiple times. Peeta. We go through this routine every night I have nightmares. My screams wake my neighbor up, and he doesn't come over to tell me to be quiet, but to comfort me, at 3am, 2am, sometimes during the darkest hours, Peeta can stay at my house for weeks, comforting me, helping me eat, but I can't. I don't deserve any of it. The people that have died for me, and I let them down. My sister, who had so much to live for, died ... and I blame myself. For everything.
"I can't do this anymore, Peeta." I whisper quiet enough so he can't hear me. "How have you survived all these years since her death?" he replies.
"I never have, I'm as good as dead without her, I don't deserve to be here." I sob. We stay silent for a few minutes, an hour, a few hours, I don't know. Peeta runs his hand across my cheek, lifting my chin up to face him, and says, "Nobody deserves to live the life you have, or mine, or anybody elses. Nobody deserves to go through what we did, maybe Prim died and you lived, but right now instead of crying and mourning over everybody's death ..." He pauses. "Just smile. It would be what Prim would want, she never liked seeing you sad, and when she did, she would always try to make you smile again. And since she is not here to do that for you, do it yourself. Prim doesn't want to watch you in this way and not be able to do anything about it, be strong, for her, for Finnick, for Boggs, Cinna, for everyone that died because of the Capitol." I'm quiet for a minute realizing what Peeta has said. Letting it sink in, before moving in to kiss him. It's the most emotional kiss we have ever had that's for sure, because I feel a tear sliding down my cheek, but then realize it is not my tear, but Peetas.
I wake up the next morning, and see Peeta is already up, most likely baking in the kitchen. I rise and sit up on the bed, still half asleep, my eyes still closed. And that's when I feel two hands on either side of my cheeks. Peeta. He presses his lips to mine, gently. My fingers find his hair and I brush through it, kissing him back. He pulls away to say, "Good morning." and flashes that innocent smile of his. I smirk.
"You have to stop that." I smile. He looks perplexed, and looks into my grey Seam eyes and says, "Stop what?" I laugh, "Stop doing ... that!" I motion to his lips. "You don't want me to kiss you?" He asks. "No, no that innocent smile ... it's so ... innocent." Yeah, that's the right word.
He laughs, then pulls me into an embrace and whispers, "I have to get back to the bakery." I pull back, "Why?" Peeta hasn't been to the bakery since his parents and his brothers have died, and to be honest, I don't think he's ready to go back. The bakery in town remained untouched by the bombs somehow, I think they wanted to attack the Seam alot more, as revenge on the Mockingjay, they thought it would destroy me. And it did.
"Peeta are you sure you're ready to go back?" The floor seems of sudden interest to him. "Yeah why wouldn't I be?" I feel guilt run though me. "I just assumed that ..." Peeta stops me mid-sentence and looks into my eyes once more in a fit of rage. "What do you mean? My family is dead! The least I could do is go back and face it, Katniss. They are never going to come back. The slightest bit of them are in that bakery. And all you do is complain about the same things, be grateful your mom is still alive, wherever she is, be grateful she still calls. I can't even control myself anymore!" My heart rate increases. As I open my mouth, he gets up, and slams the door. Hard.
"Haymitch!" I yell as I walk through the front door to his house.
He looks around like a lost squirrel. "Oh ... Oh YES, yes, yes, yes. I said you could come in. Please while you rudely barge in through my house why don't you come here and kick me in the face." I roll my eyes. "Sorry." I say. "I'm just so mad!" He glances at me. "What is it sweetheart, boy trouble?" I clench my fists, "Peeta. How dare he say that to me, what have I ever-" Haymitch stops me. "Sweetheart save this for your diary. You have hurt that boy thousands of times, you and I both know you don't deserve him, he might even know that himself, he's stuck around, he stood by you, and you repay him by fake love, waking him up every night ... and you haven't even noticed. Peeta has been through alot too. Don't revolve the world around you."
"What do you mean? I have been through hell and back. My sister died, my mom doesn't even care, Finnick, Boggs, Cinna." I gulp. "The arena, Coin, Snow." Haymitch looks at me like I'm the dumbest person in the world. "And you don't think he hasn't been through the same? His entire family died. He has nobody left but you." He chuckles. "And you don't even care?" I don't reply, I let everything sink in through my thick skull. Haymitch is right, I should care, I may have been through hell and back ... but I didn't ever realize Peeta was the one that did it all with me. He was out of control, maybe it was a slight episode, one that I caused. One that wouldn't have happened, if it wasn't for me.
And with that I leave the house without looking back.
It's dark outside. It must be late, I head straight home to find it empty, Peeta's not back. I don't think he'll ever be back. The lights at his house are off too. He must be at the bakery.
I walk into town and stop at a halt when I hear sobbing, a little boys sobbing. Peeta. I come around to the back of the bakery and find him on the grass, his head on his knees and his hands in his blonde hair.
"Peeta?" I whisper.
He looks up, I've never seen him so upset. Ever. I sigh and sit down next to him and hug him. He sobs quietly on his shoulder. A tear escapes my eye too.
"I shouldn't have ever gone back, you're right, Katniss. I wasn't ready. Just walking in finding my moms purse on the counter, my dad's wallet on my bed, Roys little toys scattered all over the floor, Bens sketch book, our family photo album smelt like my moms perfume." I cry with him too, "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, Peeta." He hugs me tight and bury's his face in my hair. I don't ever want to let him go. I put his face in my hands, determined for the words I am about to say get through to him. "I'm here for you ... just stay with me."
He smiles slightly before answering, "Always."
A/N: Urgh that sucked. Anyway please review! My next fanfiction will be up soon! This is my first story but many are to come! Hope you like it! & Review. Sorry only half of the fanfic was uploaded. So it ate half my words -_-.
- PeetaxKatniss xo.