Disclaimer: I don't own Shugo Chara/Shugo Chara Doki.
Note: So I've been thinking about Shugo Chara's ending lately, and I've come up with this prediction – Amu will end up with Ikuto, Nagihiko with Rima and Kukai with Utau (or these two be implied). I don't exactly support any of these couples, particularly Amuto, but hey, I'm not the writer for the anime/manga. What I also strongly believe will happen is that Tadase will accept that he lost to Ikuto with a smile and everything ('cuz he's just so awesome like that), and even though Shugo Chara hasn't ended yet (though it's close to it), I wanted to write a fic on the subject of Amuto happening and Tadase…well, saying he's okay with it but not really accepting it inside.
It's told in Tadase's POV, switches to Amu, and then back to Tadase.
- indicates a small time skip, but stays in the character's POV.
-- indicates a switch in POV.
All righty, enjoy~
--
Blue Skies and Paper Roses
By: Aishitewu
The sky is never aware of what happens below.
Cloudy skies don't always mean that a horrible day with horrible occurrences lies ahead. The sky could be gray and dull, and yet, down below on Earth, someone could be successfully accomplishing their lifelong dream. Or finding their love, perhaps.
That being said, however, the opposite could very well ring true. The sun could be shining its brightest and yet, someone could be mourning over a lost loved one. The sky could be a perfect shade of blue and someone, down below on Earth, could be, uncontrollably, bleeding tears. Not a single cloud could be present in the sky and someone could be smiling while inside, their heart was slowly being cut open.
The sky never knows what happens…
--
"It's so gloomy today." Nagihiko sighed next to me as he studied the unpromising sky that showed through the glass rooftop of the building. "I wonder, can the rest of the day turn out nicely, even without the sun?"
Nagihiko and I were in the Royal Garden, getting some last-minute Guardian work done. It was tedious, of course, what with all the paperwork and the "representing every student at Seiyo" aspect, but it was also very rewarding. Hearing Seiyo kids – particularly girls – sigh at the mere sight of our capes, the obsessed fanclubs; it was all ridiculous…and flattering.
"Of course it can, Fujisaki-san." I smiled to myself as I finished my paragraph on how many Seiyo students felt that the school should use some money for better art and physical education programs. "The sun doesn't have to shine for someone to have a great day."
"Really, now?" Nagihiko was lost in his thoughts, his pen tapping against his chin. I nodded, watching suspiciously as his eyes suddenly lit up. "Oh, that's right. I had something I wanted to talk to you about."
"And what is that?"
Nagihiko pulled out a gaudy piece of paper from the pile before him. He glanced at it shortly and handed it to me with controlled excitement. "This."
I looked at the flashily-colored paper and read the big red letters on the top of the page. "Ai no Bara – Rose of Love – Event?" I said aloud, my eyebrow rising in interest. "What is it about, Fujisaki-san?"
"It's about young couples wearing matching paper roses and coming to see live music acts," Nagihiko explained, reaching for something in his pocket. He fished out a rose made of pink tissue paper and showed it to me. "It's tomorrow. I'm going with Rima-chan; she and I are going to wear those on our chests the day of the event." He smiled slightly at the rose, his cheeks matching the color of the paper.
"Mashiro-san?" I grinned at him encouragingly. "I always thought you two would look nice together."
The pink deepened into a red so dark and uncharacteristic of him, that I chuckled. "That…that's not the main point here, Hotori-kun. It's about you and Amu-chan, actually…"
Oh. My face heated as I understood to what he was getting to. "You mean, me a-asking Amu-chan to go with me to the event?" Immediately I lost myself in my thoughts. Amu and I wearing matching red roses on our hearts, firmly holding each other's warm hands and listening to the romantic song playing, surrounded by the aroma of roses…
"…and I've brought you sheets of red tissue paper. Now before you refuse them, I'll tell you that they're just from home. No money spent from me, promise." I blinked, back to reality in my chair, as Nagihiko passed me sixteen pieces of paper. "I'll show you how to make them, too."
"T-thank you," I murmured as a thrilled smile gradually took over. My heart beating in excitement, I took four square pieces and eagerly stacked them all together, like Nagihiko was showing me to do.
"It's no problem," laughed the Jack's Chair as he placed two pairs of scissors and a pen onto the table. "It's quite easy, actually. All right, to start off, take the stack and…"
--
"Amu, I'm leaving tomorrow."
I didn't want to believe it.
No part of me wanted to.
I stood there, but I might as well have been falling. Stupidly, I attempted to convince myself that Ikuto was just teasing me, like he always did. That he was just getting a reaction out of me. And, like always, it worked…
But that wasn't the case, no matter how much I wanted it to be.
"W-why?" I already knew the answer, but my mind was numb, and I could barely think out the right words to say…
His midnight eyes bore into mine, and my heart started to beat. Faster, faster, before I finally closed my eyes, fearful that it might explode in my chest. I'm sure Ikuto could hear it; even through my closed eyelids, I could see that small smirk playing onto his lips… That all-too-familiar…mesmerizing smirk…
"Now's not the time to be all sly!" I burst, feeling the red warm my face. My tone lowered and I slowly opened my eyes, peering shyly into his. "You didn't answer my question, Ikuto."
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. I could tell he was trying to look indifferent to the situation, like he didn't mind leaving, but as I gazed into those indigo orbs, they told me that he felt something else. There was a dark, pained fog over them that only thickened as he looked at me. My heart ached just looking at him…
"I'm going to find my father. My mom… She's coming with me."
"Oh."
I should've been okay with that, since he had a good reason to leave. I should've said goodbye then, and left. I should've fought back the tears that were coming out now.
Quickly, I pasted a smile onto my face. I wouldn't let him now that I was sorrowed at the thought of his leaving… "Y-you're coming back, right?" I couldn't disguise the longing. I sounded…pathetically desperate.
"I don't know."
I took in a breath and bit down on my lip, wiping at my eyes and forcing the tears to stop. Pasting a smile through my wet cheeks, I murmured, "Good luck!" and turned around, ready to run as fast as I could.
"Amu."
I felt his arms encircle my body. The stream of tears only worsened as he pulled me against him. "I'll try to come back."
"You better," I choked dumbly, not bothering to try to wriggle free. I looked up at the vast sky, the bluest of blues today, and scowled. How could the sun be smiling so brightly at a time like this…?
I wish he didn't have to leave at all, but…
Was that selfish of me?
-
"I'm home," I mumbled, kicking off my boots. "I'm going to go to my room—"
"But it's dinnertime, Amu-chan." Mom appeared, and I hurriedly ran to the stairs, shielding my red, tear-stained face from her view.
"I'm not hungry," I replied coolly as I escaped to my room. It wasn't a lie.
Ignoring Ran, Miki, and Su's sympathetic expressions, I collapsed onto my bed. Ikuto leaving… I didn't understand why, but it made my heart hurt so much…
I grabbed a nearby pillow and held it to my breasts, suppressing the pain. "What do I do?" I whispered feebly. "I know I shouldn't do anything, but I want to do something so he can stay…"
Ran, Miki, and Su joined me in thinking. None of them were saying anything that could change my mind.
Good, I didn't want to put up with any crap right now… I needed to think.
"Amu-chan, you've got a visitor!"
Eh? Ikuto?
-
"Tadase-kun?" I spotted the blonde as I walked down the stairs. Hm, what would he want to talk about? "Uh, what's up?"
"I'm sorry, a-are you busy?" He asked, shyly staring at the ground. There was a paper rose pinned to his chest – pretty, red, and neatly folded. Both of his arms were behind his body, as if he was holding something and hiding it from me. I gazed at him curiously before realizing I hadn't answered his question.
"Not really. Is there something you wanted to –"
"It's onee-chan's nice boyfriend!" Ami suddenly came in, practically tackling Tadase. I rolled my eyes, hearing Papa blow up in the living room ("B-b-b-boyfriend?!" "Now now, Papa, it's perfectly normal for Amu's age.")
"It's not like that. We're not together," I mumbled. Tadase seemed to hear me, and maybe I'd just imagined it, but his eyes…sorrowed. "Here, let's talk outside."
I snuck a glance at his face. The pair of raspberry orbs darkened as he murmured, "All right…"
--
"It's not like that. We're not together."
I chewed on my bottom lip anxiously, the hand holding the rose behind my back tightening into a secure fist. Maybe I shouldn't waste my time with asking her…
"So, what did you want to talk about, Tadase-kun?"
Looking up, I met her friendly smile, and subconsciously started to smile myself as the courage built inside, easing the butterflies. Here goes…
"A-Ai no Bara," I stammered, holding out the second rose in front of me. "I-it's tomorrow – sorry for the late notice… It's an event where" – my heart pounded loudly as I said the words – "c-couples go and see the roses, and there are live performances, too…"
I watched her reaction carefully. Her eyes widened, but that shade of red that I'd become so accustomed to didn't come. Slowly, self-consciously, I continued. "You wear the rose on your heart too, like I-I am…" Why hadn't she said anything yet? "Gomen, does it all sound too cheesy?"
I wished she had just rejected me already. My heart thudded faster – it was starting to hurt a bit – as the silence grew pregnant.
"No, no." She finally spoke. "It's just that I… I-I have something to do tomorrow."
Oh. My mouth felt dry. "Ah, I see. Sorry for troubling you. I-I'll be going." It'd taken me a while to get the roses done… I'd really wanted her to come… Shaking my head, I stuttered, "Um, b-bye."
"Wait, Tadase!"
The honorific wasn't there anymore. Trying to ignore that fact – she probably just forgot the -kun – I turned back around. She must be wondering if I'm okay. I can't have her thinking I'm not. Quickly I grinned, but it only felt like my cheeks were being painfully pulled…
"I've been meaning to talk to you about something."
My grin disappeared. "What?" Kami-sama, is she finally going to respond to my "I love you"? Foolishly my heart began to pound again.
"About…uh, us." Amu refused to look me in my eyes, but I focused into hers, cautious as to not get lost like I'd done numerous times when together with her…
"What about us?" There it was again, unwisely, stupidly beating, increasing its speed as Amu continued – hoping.
"You know how you said you won't lose to whoever else likes me?"
I nodded, smiling. "I meant that, Amu-chan."
"And you said I could choose my own path?"
…oh.
It was going in the other direction, the way I'd feared it might go… Thoughts swirling, I stood there numbly. I knew what she was going to say, and yet, I just stood there. Illogically waiting for the knife when I could still escape from the stabbing…
She took a deep breath. "Tadase-kun, you're…amazing and everything, and I know that someday, a very lucky girl will be with you."
I wanted that girl to be you. "I see…"
"I hope you're not upset that I said no… It's just, Ikuto's leaving tomorrow and…I need to convince him to stay." She looked pensive then, her amber eyes no longer lively as they focused onto me. "D-did I upset you?"
"No." I forced yet another fake smile onto my face; I wondered if she could see through the façade, then realized that, as she smiled back at me, she didn't. "I'll be… I'll be going."
"You don't want to stay for dinner? I mean, Papa might be all overdramatic again, but I'm sure he'll see that you're just my really, really great friend."
I wish she didn't have to smile at me like that. I wish the sky was the dullest gray, that the clouds covered up the sun that, cruelly enough, was still able to shine.
"Ah, no, I've got somewhere to be, actually…" A lie.
"Oh, okay. See you, Tadase-kun." She stepped closer to the gate of her house before returning to me and…hugging me.
Now that I know that it wasn't anything more than a friendly gesture, I didn't get those pleasant, warm tingles anymore.
That was…wrong, wasn't it?
I was supposed to feel happy for her. I was supposed to sincerely smile at her decision. I wasn't supposed to feel like…endlessly falling through a black nothingness, tormented by not knowing when I'd crash…
I saw the paper rose in my hands and was reminded of how…pathetic I was to think that she'd actually accept. I never had heard her say "I love you" back, but at the same time, I always had. Or thought I had.
I took the rose off my chest, tears down my chin and onto my neck, and ripped apart the petals, throwing the…useless pieces of paper onto the ground.
And I ran.
To where, I wasn't sure.
--
Note: I actually used to like Amuto; I don't really remember how I shifted to rooting for Tadamu. Ikuto just annoys me now for some reason… And I have a strong feeling that it'll end in Amuto and Tadase accepting it and not being hurt and that, but I think it's more realistic if he's hurt a little.
Well.
Hope you liked it, and if you have the time, please review~
