Heartbeat

Heartbeat? Check. Breathing? Check. Pain? Double check. Definitely alive them. There's no way death could hurt so much. Right? Either way, Harry wasn't sure he was glad or not. Life was very hard and death seemed so easy. Oblivion. As if sensing his dangerous thoughts, the person sitting next to Harry's bed let out a cry.

"Harry? Harry, you need to wake up. You have to. You have to tell us who she is," Hermione sobbed as she held her face in her hands.

"Mione," Harry asked as he pried his eyes open.

"Yes, Harry, I'm here," Hermione stuttered out and in her eagerness reached out and grabbed Harry's hand. In Harry's suicidal state he didn't even bother stifling his screams.

Hermione snatched her hand back. "Oh, Harry I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't think. I'm so sorry."

"Glad to see you're awake," Healer Robyn commented from the door, effectively cutting off Hermione's stream of apologies. "Shame about the screaming."

Harry forced his face into something that could be called a smile. "Yeah. Sorry about that."

"No need to apologise, Harry. I really am glad to see that you didn't die in your last coma. Speaking of which, care to tell me who it is that will stop those pesky things?"

Harry grimaced. "I already told you. He knows who he is. When he comes then I'll be okay. If he comes for the wrong reasons I'll die anyway but in a longer, much more painful way."

Healer Robyn sighed as she walked over to Harry's muggle IV. "I know, I know. I just thought I'd give it a shot. I never expected you to be so goddamn stubborn. It's what I like best about you. Not that I'm hitting on you because in this situation that would only cause you more pain. Speaking of which, would you like another potion for that?"

"Please." This time Harry's voice was weaker and far scratchier than it had been a moment ago. Healer Robyn pretended not to notice as she filled the IV bag being very careful not to get too close to her patient.

"Did you ever consider the possibility that your knight in shining armour doesn't even know you're here," Healer Robyn asked when she was finished. "You have kept a low profile for the past few years."

Harry attempted a snort that turned into a pathetic huff. "I'm still the Boy Who Lived. Trust me. He knows. And he's close."

That got the healer's attention. "Close? What do you mean close?"

A weak chuckle made it's way past Harry's lips. "He's in the hospital. Safe and uninjured but here. It's probably the only thing keeping me alive right now." Harry's face fell into a grimace. "So close and I still can't touch."

"If you tell us who she is we can bring them here," Hermione promised, her voice thick. "Then you can touch her all you want."

With great effort Harry shook his head. "No. It's not right."

Hermione let out a frustrated growl and started to yell. She had finally snapped like her fiancé. Harry didn't blame her. He couldn't stand himself either.

But Harry ignored Hermione, tuned her out as he closed his eyes. He was so tired. He only had enough energy to sleep and dream. Dream of him.

Of course, he was the reason Harry was sick. Or so Ron believed. Hermione believed it was ignorance. As for Harry, he didn't like to think about it. He wanted all of his thoughts to be about him. It's how it should be, Harry reasoned. No point trying to blame anyone for his sickness. Just dream of the cure.

But maybe it was just bad timing. Harry's parents had died before they could warn him. Sirius had been reckless and left it too long. Then he too was gone. It should have fallen to Remus next but he couldn't believe that anyone could be so stupid to keep Harry in the dark for so long. Dumbledore should have been the one to tell him. Harry had always thought so back at the beginning, before he stopped thinking of such things. But he probably had an excuse too. He always did. Anyway, it didn't matter now. Harry would die because he'd never known. He'd die and the one he loved would never even mourn him.

"Malfoy! I'm sending you to the long-term care unit. You'll be working under Healer Robyn. Don't fuck it up," Healer Jayne snarled.

Draco nodded. "Yes, sir."

The big man sneered. "Well? What are you waiting for?"

Draco took a deep breath and reminded himself that he would be free of the man for the next few weeks. "Nothing, sir." With that, Draco spun on his heel and stalked out of the room and towards an elevator. Soon he was on the long-term care unit floor and he felt lighter than he had in months. No more Healer Jayne breathing down his neck.

Healer Robyn seemed to be waiting for him for when Draco stepped out of the elevator, she waved him over. "Hi. Welcome to the long-term care unit."

Draco smiled as charmingly as he could and held out his hand to shake hers. Healer Robyn smiled right back and gave him a good strong handshake.

"So. Let's get you right to work, shall we?"

When Draco nodded Healer Robyn promptly turned on her heel and headed down the hall. "Now, for today you can accompany me on my rounds. When I think you've earned it, you can have a few of your own patients. Sound fair?"

"Yes. I'm looking forward to it, ma'am."

Healer Robyn stopped to give him a grin. "It's Robyn. And I'm glad to see some enthusiasm. I'm warning you now, this is a hard job. Understand?"

Draco nodded.

"Good," Robyn nodded as she started off down that hall again. "And don't be afraid to ask questions. Unlike that idiot Jayne, I'll actually answer them."

At this Draco grinned. He loved this woman already.

"What about that room," Draco asked after Robyn declared them finished.

Robyn turned to room 407 and sighed. "That one, I'm afraid, is off limits. The patient in there requires a lot of extra security and secrecy."

Draco snorted. "So that'd be Harry Potter's room them. I should have known. He's got something that doesn't allow contact or something doesn't he? Don't bother answering, I know you can't. He always did have a weird thing about people knowing his business."

"You knew him," Robyn asked, suddenly looking at his differently.

Draco shrugged. "We were in the same year at Hogwarts. We had a bit of a rivalry going on too for a while there. I haven't seen him in a really long time."

"I didn't realize," Robyn mused. Then she sighed. "What I'm about to ask you is going to seem really inappropriate but I need to ask. Malfoy, are you gay?"

For a moment Draco just stood there choking on his own tongue. "What? What does that have to do with anything?"

"Sorry. I just had to ask. Anyway, it doesn't matter. You head on home. I'll see you tomorrow, Malfoy."

Draco nodded and left the ward in a daze. Had he really been that obvious?

He was in the building, Harry could tell. He was even closer than he had been for months. Harry could feel ghosts of his touches, hear his voice, smell him, see his face as if he was standing right in from of him. He seemed so close that when the door opened, Harry allowed himself to hope for the first time in months.

"You seem better, Harry," Robyn commented and Harry's heart stopped. His breath caught in his throat, tears welled in his eyes, and unbearable pain ripped through his body at the disappointment.

Seeing this, Robyn rushed closer. "Harry! What is it? Was somebody in here? I have a new intern-"

"You aren't him," Harry sobbed, his face dropped into his hands. "He was so close I could taste him and now he's gone. I was so close. So close."

Robyn sighed. "Harry, I'm sorry. You know I can't help you if you don't tell me who he is."

"You can't help me at all," Harry raged suddenly. "You're useless! You can't help me! Only he can! You can't help me!"

When soothing words didn't help, Robyn slowly backed out of the room. Harry barely noticed. He was too busy crying and screaming and calling healers and friends useless.

For days, Harry refused to see anyone. He wouldn't even let Robyn in to give him potions for pain or nourishment. He merely lay in bed deteriorating more and more by the moment as his ultimate cure walked by his door again and again.

"I'm glad to see you're feeling better, Harry. I was really worried," Robyn told Harry as she filled his IV with much needed potions. "You know how dangerous it is to stop getting your potions. I know you think I'm useless but right now, you need medicine to live."

"I know, I know," Harry replied, carefully stopping the healer's lecture. "It's just that he's so close. So close that I can smell him."

Robyn's brow furrowed. "Are you sure? You've been saying that for days. And while you're getting slightly better…"

"I'm positive. He's even here now," Harry replied, draping his arm over his eyes. I can feel him. So close. He walks by my door. I can feel him."

"Walking by your door? Harry, could he be visiting someone?"

Harry shook his head without removing his arm. "No. He's here too often for that. And his timing is perfect every time. It's like clockwork. He's here now. He's laughing." Tiny tears leaked from his eyes. "Someone else is making him laugh."

"Like clockwork? Here now… bloody hell! It's Draco Malfoy isn't it?!"

At Draco's name, Harry's face lit up. "Do you know him?"

"For goodness sake! Harry, he's my bloody intern! All this time I've been trying to get you to tell me so that I can bring him here and he's been here in the hospital! I'll go get him right this second!"

"Don't you bloody dare," Harry growled, his voice so menacing it stopped Robyn in her tracks.

"Harry, he can cure you! You need him right now!"

Harry shook his head defiantly. "No. He has to come on his own."

Robyn resisted the urge to rip her hair out. Or better yet, rip Harry's hair out. "He doesn't even know why you're in here," she growled.

"Doesn't matter. He can't come in here because someone tells him too. He deserves better than that. I deserve better than that." Suddenly Harry melted and he smiled. "Tell me about him. You said he's an intern right?"

Robyn nodded as she dropped into the seat next to Harry's bed. "A good one too."

"I'm so proud of him," Harry mumbled. "He said he always wanted to be a doctor. I'm so glad that his dreams came true. I'm really glad. Is he happy?"

Seeing an opportunity, Robyn decided to lie just a little. "Most of the time…"

Harry jolted upright. "What do you mean 'most of the time'? He's okay isn't he?"

Robyn shrugged. "Well … it seems like something's missing in his life. He's not unhappy per say, just incomplete."

Harry let out a little whimper and for a moment, Robyn though she had won. Then Harry's face hardened and became determined.

"Well. I hope he finds whatever it is that fulfills him. I wish him the best of luck. Perhaps being a doctor will fill the hole is him life."

Robyn let out a grunt of frustration. "You! I was talking about you! I think he's missing you in his life! Honestly Harry, how thick can you be?! He's your mate! That means that you have every right to own him!"

"It does not," Harry screamed back. "I don't have the right to own anyone! And even if I did, I wouldn't want him like that! I want him to love me." Harry started to sob and Robyn instantly felt guilty for her little trick.

All of a sudden, the subject of their conversation burst into the room. "Is everything all right? I heard screaming."

Seeing his mate for the first time in months made Harry's breath catch in his throat. For once he was almost glad that he was bedridden. If he hadn't been, he was sure he'd have thrown himself into Draco's arms.

Quickly surveying the room and realizing nothing was wrong, Draco blushed. "Sorry to come bursting in. It just sounded like something was wrong. I'll just go…"

"No!"

Startled, Harry and Robyn exchanged glances. Both had spoken without meaning to.

"Well … umm … that is to say…"

"I was hoping you could take over Harry's care," Robyn replied coolly, effectively cutting off Harry's useless backtracking. "You've been doing really well and I have plenty of patients at the moment."

"Oh. Alright then," replied Draco. "Well, would you like to go over the potions now or later?"

"Later is fine," Robyn replied. I'll be out to talk to you in a moment. Recognizing the dismissal, Draco nodded and left quietly.

"What the hell do you think you're doing," Harry hissed the instant Draco was gone.

"Think about it this way, you get to see him everyday. You don't have to tell him anything and you have a reason to see and talk to him every day. Harry this is a perfect arrangement. You'll feel better and there's no pressure for either of you. This is perfect."

Because he couldn't find a hole in Robyn's logic, Harry grumbled. "Fine."

Draco's slipped into Harry's room quietly, praying that he was sleeping. Seeing Harry curled up on his side. Draco heaved a sigh of relief thinking he was off the hook.

"Hi, Draco."

"Oh. Hello. I didn't realize you were awake."

Harry sat up in bed so he could face Draco as he began to change Harry's IV. "I wasn't. I'm just a really light sleeper lately. Apparently it's a side affect."

"A side affect of what," Draco asked absentmindedly as he finished with Harry's IV.

"Um … can you get me another pillow," Harry asked, instead of answering Draco's question.

Shrugging, Draco left to grab another pillow.

"I feel like a candy striper," Draco mumbled as he instructed Harry to sit up.

"Sorry," Harry mumbled as he tried not to lean into Draco's touch.

Draco's hand accidentally skated across Harry's cheek and a strange jolt of electricity made them both jump. Shocked, Draco stumbled backwards. Harry was so shocked that he lost control for just a moment. He grabbed Draco's wrist in an iron grip. This time, the jolt made Draco freeze. Harry couldn't make himself let go now that he actually had his mate so close by.

Then the door banged open and the spell was broken. Harry dropped Draco's hand and Draco jerked away.

"Hi, Harry. How are you today," Hermione twittered, her voice full of false cheer.

"What's the ferret doing here," Ron growled.

"I was just leaving," Draco muttered. He quickly turned on his heel and almost ran from the room.

As soon as the door clicked closed, Harry burst into tears. Hermione rushed to Harry's bedside and only just stopped herself from dragging him into a hug.

"What happened? What did he do to you? Did he hurt you? I'll kill him," Ron raged. This only made Harry cry harder.

"He's slipping away."

Draco was still shaking slightly as he walked into the hospital cafeteria. He waved to a few people he knew and slid into a little table. Susan Bones gracefully slid into a chair across from him. She had been in the same class as Draco in medical school and he had been so happy to see a familiar face he hadn't cared that she was a former Hufflepuff. They'd bonded and somehow ended up being friends ever since.

"What's wrong with you," she asked as she started in on her lunch. "You look spooked."

"One of my patients grabbed me. I didn't expect it," Draco replied.

"Must have shaken you up good," Susan nodded. "Who was it?"

"Can't say. Celebrity type," Draco replied with a sigh. "Extra confidentiality."

Susan nodded. "That's right. I've heard that they've even had Harry Potter here once or twice. That is, if you can believe some of the dodgier nurses."

"You didn't happen to hear why, did you," Draco asked. Specifically avoiding her eyes. He couldn't believe he'd stooped so low as to ask for gossip to figure out what his patient had.

"At first it was regular Auror stuff, I think. Then he got a mate or something. I don't know. I didn't read the full article."

That got Draco's attention. "Article? There was an article on it?"

Susan snorted. "We are talking about Harry Potter. I don't know how much of it was true. It said he was a veela or something. No, wait. Half-veela. The first person he slept with was his mate or something. Yeah, that was it."

"When did this article come out," Draco barely managed to choke out.

Susan gave him a strange look. "About six months or so ago. Why do you ask?"

Draco didn't reply. He was already jumping out his chair and running out the door. He didn't hear Susan call after him. He didn't hear Healer Jayne threaten to fire him if he didn't stop running. He didn't see the look on Healer Robyn's face as he brushed past her. It didn't matter. He needed to get to Harry.

"Draco," Harry asked as the man in question exploded into his room.

"Why didn't you tell me," Draco demanded as he slammed the door closed behind him. Hermione jumped up from her seat next to Harry to gape at Draco.

"Tell you what," Harry asked in a terrible attempt to feign innocence.

"You know exactly what," Draco seethed as he yanked Harry's blankets back. Ron grabbed his upper arm and was about to give him shit when Harry cut him off.

"I wanted you to figure it out and come for the right reasons," Harry replied, tears welling in his eyes. "I didn't want you to come because you felt you had to."

"Malfoy?! You're fucking mate is Malfoy," Ron demanded, his face turning almost purple he was so angry. "You fucked the ferret?!

"Yes," Harry replied, bursting into tears. "And this is exactly why I never told you!" He let his hand slide into Draco's as he turned to look at Hermione. "You sent me a letter that morning to tell me that I was half-veela. The very morning! I left because I was to scared to tell Draco the truth."

With a sad sigh, Draco crawled into Harry's bed and pulled him into his arms. "Oh, Harry."

Ron and Hermione simply stood there, too shocked to move as Draco kissed Harry passionately.

Suddenly the door swung open with a bang, startling Draco and Harry about. "What the hell is going on here," Healer Jayne demanded as he shoved past Ron and Hermione to stare at Draco. "I always knew you were trouble, Malfoy, but this is too much. This time you are going d-"

"Actually, Healer Malfoy is currently healing Harry Potter. Something that no one else has been able to do," Healer Robyn declared, effectively cutting Healer Jayne off. "I think we should all leave and allow him to continue." With that she herded a protesting couple of Weasleys and a seething healer. She paused in the doorway to wink at Harry before closing and locking the door.

Harry waited a few moments after the door clicked closed before turned in his mate's arms to look at his face. "I'm sorry."

Draco frowned. "What on earth do you have to feel sorry for?"

Harry sniffed as he tried to stop another set of tears from falling. "For getting you into this. It sounds like you're in a lot of trouble. And besides, the last thing you need is to be stuck with a veela mate for the rest of you life."

"What's that supposed to mean, Potter," Draco demanded, his voice harsh.

Harry winced as he turned and sat on the edge of the bed. "I just mean that it's a lot of work to have a veela mate and that if I'd known then what I know now, I wouldn't have spent that night with you."

"And what is it that you know now," Draco asked, his voice full of barely concealed hurt. "That you'd be forced to have more than just a one night stand with me?"

Harry jumped up and whirled around to face Draco. He was so shocked at the tone in Draco's voice that he barely noticed that he was standing on his own for the first time in months. "Is that what you think? That I didn't want you? I got Hermione's goddamn owl and it wouldn't stop pecking me until I left! God, Draco! When I saw you in that bar, I walked over to you with every intention of starting a relationship with you! You're the one that didn't visit me in the hospital in the six months that I was here!"

Draco jumped out of bed so that he was standing opposite Harry. "I didn't even know you were here! Was I supposed to magically know that you're half-veela? You're the one that refused to tell me that I'm your mate! Fuck Harry! I was fluffing your fucking pillows and you didn't feel the need to share that we're going to be spending the rest of our lives together!"

Harry frowned. "You should have known."

Draco rolled his eyes. "I'm supposed to be fucking psychic? How in the hell was I supposed to know, Potter?"

"I left you a note. It said that I was veela. I told you then that you're my mate."

"In a note," Draco asked incredulously. "You told me about the most important thing that ever happened to me in a note?"

"This is the most important thing that ever happened to you," Harry asked, his eyes lighting up with hope.

Draco rolled his eyes and climbed over the bed so he could take Harry's face in his hands. "Of course it is, you great git! I've been in love with you since third year at Hogwarts! I was ecstatic when you came and flirted with me in that bar. Then I took you home and there was some really great sex. Harry, that was the best night of my life! And you were gone in the morning! I thought it meant nothing to you!"

Harry wrapped his arms around Draco's waist and yanked him closer so that their entire bodies were pressed together. "And now you know that it meant everything to me too," Harry stated before planting a happy kiss in Draco's lips.

Draco turned them and pushed Harry onto the bed and straddled him. He kissed his way over Harry's jaw and down his neck as Harry worked on getting Draco out of his robes.

By the time Healer Robyn let anyone in the room, Harry and Draco were curled around each other fast asleep. Both were sated and happy knowing that they weren't going to wake up alone any more.

i'm not really sure if i like the ending. oh well. please review and let me know what you think. :D