Schroeder by K8ec
Major General Jack O'Neill (two 'L's), Head of HomeWorld Security, former C.O of Earth's premier First Contact Team, SG1 and aficionadoof The Simpsons, strode down the grey corridors of the SGC, whistling tunelessly what appeared to be "Ding Dong the Witch is Dead" as he headed in the direction of Dr. Daniel Jackson's Lab.
He had to admit to himself that the events of the last month or so had shaken his composure quite a bit, especially when he had been informed that Daniel had turned to the dark side.
The thought that the IOA might actually be serious in their plan to 'deep-freeze' his best friend, had O'Neill's already grey hair turning snow white and falling out by the clump-full (at least in his recurring nightmares), and had him reconsidering the frequency with which he had otherwise been keeping in contact with his former teammates.
So when an opportunity to take advantage of the perks on offer to two star Generals 'in the know' came up, he hitched a ride on the Daedalus to the SGC with the plan of taking the current version of SG1, and in particular his unsuspecting workaholic friend, out to dinner at his favourite Chinese restaurant in the Springs.
The sounds of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata wafted softly from the open door of the lab as he approached. It wasn't often that Daniel was in a sufficiently mellow frame of mind to listen to his favourite piece of classical music whilst at work, and Jack wondered what had put him into such a receptive mood.
He grinned as he remembered the first time he had realized that the piano in Daniel's apartment was not just for show. He had walked in unannounced to Daniel's apartment after his repeated knocking had gone unacknowledged, to find Daniel completely absorbed in his own more than masterful rendition of the classic.
To say that his friend was embarrassed when he found he had an audience was an understatement! Jack had spent the next two weeks having endless fun at Daniel's expense with quips about his hidden talents, much to Carter's puzzlement!!
Coming to an abrupt stop in the doorway of the lab, Jack studied the scene before him, trying to place its familiarity and the sense of déjà vu it triggered in him.
There was Daniel, seated at the work bench typing furiously into his laptop, a frown of intense concentration upon his face, surrounded by sheets of parchment covered in lines of alien text which almost looked like musical notation.
And there was Vala, lying prone on her stomach on the bench surface, legs bent at the knees, chin in hand as she gazed intently upon Daniel at work.
Jack's puzzled frown cleared abruptly as a light globe switched on above his head.
"You're Schroeder!" he yelled at the top of his voice, startling both occupants and causing twin stares to be directed in his direction.
Daniel's stare gave way to surprise as he viewed the interloper, "Jack?"
"Daniel!"
"Jack!"
"Daniel"
"What are you doing here, and why are you shouting out something about my shoulder?" Daniel asked, gazing at said body parts with a bewildered expression on his face.
"Schroeder, not shoulder! And can't a General drop in to visit old friends once in a while?" Jack asked, a phony look of hurt on his face.
"Drop in? From Washington? … - And how did you do that, by the way, when General Landry was talking to you on the phone just this afternoon before our briefing?"
"Ah! Secrets, young Daniel. A General must be able to keep secrets!," Jack teased walking into the room and picking up a random statue from the shelf near the bench to play with.
"Put that down before you break another of my artifacts, Jack. And you still haven't told me why you yelled Schroeder, or whatever it was!"
"Peanuts, Daniel, Peanuts!" Jack announced triumphantly, only to turn and be met with the identical blank looks on both the faces turned to him.
Eyebrows taking residence in his hair, Daniel inquired whimsically, "Peanuuut …brittle?... butter?... gallery?..."
"Schroeders are a type of peanut? " Vala interrupted, looking to Daniel who turned to the General with a shrug. "I don't think I've seen that brand of peanuts at the store! – I've seen Planters, and generic brands – Are Schroeders imported? Are they superior to the normal brands? – Darling, why didn't you tell me there were better varieties I could be snacking on??!"
"Oh, fer crying out loud!" Jack yelled in exasperation, "Not peanuts, Peanuts!!! …The Peanuts!
The hugely popular, widely syndicated comic strip!!?? Surely even you have to know the Peanuts, Daniel!!" Jack questioned in amazement.
"Uuummm, that would beeeeeee - Nope!" Daniel replied, to the General's disbelief. "Can't say I've heard of them/it/whatever! No idea what you're talking about!"
"Charlie Brown?, Snoopy?, Linus?, Peppermint Patty?, Lucy?, the Great Pumpkin?... feel free to stop me when your brain engages, Dannyboy!"
"Still no, Jack... though – wasn't it something to do about a dog who could fly?"
"Flying dog or flying peanut, darling?" asked Vala with a disgruntled frown,
"And what is this Great Pumpkin? … Oh, wait; is this another example of your Tau'ri humor that I am failing to get? – Because if it is, I think it's rather rude to talk about obscure topics of conversation when in the presence of an alien!" Vala retorted, hands on hips, gaze switching rapidly from Jack to Daniel and back again as she tried to understand the conversation.
"Flying dogs! Didn't you have a life when you were a child, Daniel? What planet were you brought up on anyway? What sort of American kid doesn't know the Peanuts?"
"Who doesn't know about the Peanuts?" a voice asked from the doorway.
"Carter, T, Mitchell," Jack acknowledged with a nod, as the rest of SG1 filed into the lab.
"I was just trying to educate Daniel about an important bit of American pop culture. Would you believe he doesn't know about the Peanuts?"
"O'Neill, has DanielJackson had an allergic reaction to the nuts in the Commissary?"
As Jack looked as though he would pull out tufts of hair at the statement, Sam answered with a grin.
"The comic strip, Teal'c, not the food. It was very popular when I was growing up. Nearly everyone I know had a Snoopy stuffed toy or figurine, and the Charlie Brown movies were hugely popular."
"Hell, yeah!" Cam added, "I remember pleading with my Mom to let me see 'You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown' at the movies over the Summer vacation. Even promised to pay with my allowance if I could go with some of the other guys! The Peanuts were HUGE!"
"I don't see how a comic strip or movie about flying peanuts and a dog could possibly be any good!" Vala stated emphatically, to the sniggers of Sam and Daniel and the long groans of O'Neill.
"It's a comic about children, Princess. It's probably called Peanuts because they're small kids," Cam explained, "apart from the dog, that is."
"See, Daniel! Even Mitchell knows what's what!"
"Still doesn't explain Schroeder though," Daniel pointed out.
Jack spun around to confront Mitchell, who instinctively took a step backwards. "You can see what I mean can't you? Daniel is just like Schroeder!!"
Cameron pondered the question for a moment, watching as the archaeologist abruptly pulled his laptop away from the fidgeting Vala, before his face was split by a huge grin.
"You got it in one, sir!," he half laughed.
"I can't believe I never saw it before!! Yes siree! He sure is Schroeder alright! And Vala is definitely Lucy!!"
As Sam gave in to a violent case of the giggles and even Teal'c's mouth twitched by a millimeter or two, the teammates in question glared at them with twin frowns, clearly not understanding the joke.
"Just what is wrong with the lot of you today!" asked Daniel in exasperation. "Of course I remember Charlie Brown and Snoopy, ok! But who or what is Schroeder?"
"I believe Schroeder is the young boy who plays the pianoforte, DanielJackson," Teal'c explained. "He admires the works of the composer Ludwig van Beethoven and is the object of Lucy van Pelt's admiration."
"Wait! Wait! … You actually know Lucy's full name?... You actually know the Peanuts??" Jack enquired.
At the slight inclination of his friend's head, he said in a somewhat peeved voice, "Why did you never tell me? I have the whole collection of TV movies and specials at home. We could've had a marathon!"
"I did not know you were as obsessed with the Peanuts as you are with The Simpsons, O'Neill!"
"Thank God for that!" Daniel mumbled half to himself, but still loud enough to earn a glare from Jack.
"For your information, I am not obsessed with the Peanuts, I'm not obsessed with anything!" Jack stated, ignoring the snorts and stifled laughs from his friends, "I just appreciate the subtleties and neatly expressed nuances of friendship inherent in Shultz's work!"
At the stunned silence that greeted his statement, O'Neill glanced around at SG1, eyebrow raised
a la Teal'c; "What?," he asked in pseudo puzzlement.
"Wow, Jack! That statement was almost erudite!" exclaimed Daniel with mock surprise.
"Yes, Sir. It almost sounded like you knew what you were talking about!" Carter agreed with a straight face.
"Quite touching, in fact," Daniel commented.
"Indeed!" Teal'c intoned, maintaining his serious demeanor.
"Et tu, Teal'c?" Jack responded in a snarky voice.
"Well, if Daniel is Schroeder and Vala is Lucy, who would the rest of us be?" asked Mitchell.
"Oh! I think Cameron would have to be Linus!," Sam said with a laugh in her voice.
At Mitchell's appalled expression she added with an apologetic shrug, "Sorry Cam, but you do sort of hang on to SG1 like we're a safety blanket!"
"Jack would have to be Snoopy!," Daniel interposed before an argument could start.
"I've entered his office on numerous occasions in the past to find him playing dogfights with his model jets. I can just see him pretending to be a World War 1 ace in flying hat and goggles, firing imaginary bullets at the Red Baron, Colonel Chekov."
Jack looked somewhat put out at the laughter that greeted Daniel's statement, "I'll have you know that the use of models to reconstruct historical battles is a tried and true method for evaluating battle tactics!"
As the laughter continued unabated he added, "Anyway, what I originally came here for was to invited SG1 out to have dinner with me, galactic crises willing! – But, if you would prefer to insult a two star general …"
Snapping to attention, Mitchell barked out, "No Sir! Never would insult a superior officer, General Sir!", then relaxing his stance a little, "But I wouldn't feel at all nervous about joining the rest of SG1 in ribbing their former C.O!"
"You know, you've been hanging around these jokers for too long, Mitchell. What happened to that polite, enthusiastic young officer who joined the SGC two years ago?" Jack asked, as he motioned the others to follow him out of the lab towards the elevator.
"I think he took his hero worship of you to the ultimate level and began channeling your less admirable behavioral traits as well, Jack" Daniel said with a smirk.
"Laugh it up, Schroeder! But after dinner I may just have to initiate you and Vala into the joys of the Peanuts! Can't have her Earth education lacking such a seminal part of American culture!"
"Where would you get a copy of one of the shows from at this late stage?"
"I have some on VHS, General," Sam said.
"As have I, O'Neill", Teal'c added.
"See, there you go! All planned! We'll hit Sam's place after dinner for a little bit of essential culture!"
"So, who would Sam be?" asked Vala, trying to enter her teammates' conversation.
"Definitely Sally," stated Jack to Sam's obvious disagreement as he waited for the elevator to arrive.
"And Teal'c would be Charlie!" interposed Cameron.
"I would not! General Hammond would be CharlieBrown", Teal'c affirmed strongly as they entered the elevator and pressed the button for the upper levels. "I am not bald!"
Laughter at the statement drifted out of the closed doors to Siler who had just alighted. Shaking his head, he made his way down the corridor, pondering on the idiosyncrasies of the SGC's flagship team. You could take the General out of the mountain, but you could never take the mountain out of the General, he decided to himself.
Despite all the years and worries and battles, some things never changed!...
The End….