Disclaimer: Don t own em, nor the song I used. Song is: Picture by Sheryl Crow Feat. Kid Rock
Pairing: 1+2, 1=2 (in the end)
Warning: Angst, Sap (in the end), TWT, PWP, Song fic, implied Drug use, Alcohol Abuse, Implied sex with others.
Notes: If you find something wrong with this fic please email me () or PM/Note me, please do NOT add it into a review and as always if you find something wrong please be willing to beta read this for me. Thank you.
Description: Duo and Heero split up after the war, only to find that it was the worse decision they d ever made.
~~~~~ Duo groaned as he laid in an empty hotel bed, he sighed heavily it was almost nine when he finally woke up from his alcohol induced sleep. His head was pounding, as he sat up and rubbed his head, everything in his body was buzzing. He looked around the dark room, his eyes fell on the table in the room the amount of whiskey bottles were multiplying again.
He closed his eyes, he was living in a slow tortuous hell, it was the same every single night. A different man every night in his room, waking up only to find they've high tailed it out of there, and the sun had long since set. When was the last time he saw the sun? He tried to remember, but his memory was failing him severely, everything was heavily fogged.
He'd been spending his days sucking' up cocaine and whiskey, wishing someone was missing him. He stood up on shaky legs, would he ever change? He walked around the bed and hissed as he hit his knee on the corner of it and heard his pants from the night previously fall to the floor. He turned on the light and growled at the bright exposure, and bent down and picked up the black pants and froze.
Heero stared at him from the floor, that small smile playing on his lips, his messy hair ruffled by the wind. Duo reached down and picked up the picture tenderly. He looked around from it and put it back into his wallet, he couldn't look at Heero...not as he was now. He felt that familiar tightening in his chest, what would Heero say if he knew the hell Duo found himself in every night without him.
~~~~~ Heero shoved the receiver down, there was no answer again tonight he leaned back against the couch. He stared up at the ceiling as the fan turned slowly disturbing the air around him. He frowned at it, frustrated out of his mind no way to ease it away anymore, he hated this emptiness he felt. It was crushing, it made him function less at work, it made coming back to this dump he called "Home" harder every day. He was always left praying for morning, where work could distract him long enough from himself.
He closed his eyes, everyone knows...Quatre, Trowa, Wufei even, but no ones telling him anything. He knows something is wrong, Quatre's half-hearted smiles when they see each other at work is a dead give away. Quatre sucks just as bad as Duo at lying, if he doesn't say anything he won't risk giving away the information he wanted so desperately. Heero's drilled his friends for weeks now, wanting Duo's location and status but it's no use, their all skilled enough to avoid his questions.
Slamming his fists against he soft cushions of the couch, he let a sob of frustration rise through his lips. He sat up suddenly and grabbed the bottle of cheap ass wine he'd bought and threw back another slug of it. He slammed it back down on the table, it was no use at all, the alcohol had so little of an affect on him. He should've gotten something stronger, anything to drown out his worries, to drown out life in general.
He hadn't heard from Duo in so long, it was driving him mad, slowly he was losing his mind without Duo. His got up and yanked out his wallet which was digging painfully into his ass and threw it on to the table as it flipped open spilling some of it's contents on the mahogany table. He stopped mid-glare and caught the sight of Duo, he felt the tears suddenly well in his eyes.
Duo smiled at him, covered in rain, his hair clinging to his beautiful face. He looked so carefree, so happy his bright cobalt eyes gleaming. Heero felt that familiar restriction in his chest as he reached over and gingerly picked up the picture. It felt so heavy in his hands, he fought the tears as he wondered desperately where Duo was. He prayed silently that Duo wasn't dead for the millionth time, he squeezed his eyes shut and shoved the picture back into his wallet. He couldn't take seeing that face in a photograph, when he couldn't have the real thing.
~~~~~ Duo snapped his head up, he was having lunch with Quatre but what came next he never expected. He saw Heero talking with Trowa across from the parking lot, as they advanced on their position at one of the cafe's outside tables. He froze, he was entirely immobilized, he didn't know where to run, where to go, what to say, oh god what was he to say?!
Heero stopped only inches from the table when he saw Duo looking up at him, his eyes grew wide, as they stared at one another. The other two boys fell silent looking at the exchange, it was like watching a silent film with he volume on max. Duo's mouth worked trying to say something, Heero's wasn't sure how he was suppose to feel, then something broke the silence.
"H-How've you been?" Duo managed suddenly his voice cracked with the effort to sound halfway normal, but the pain laced in each word was so audible it was as if he were screaming inside.
Heero somehow found his voice, it was no better, the pain, the frustration, everything surfacing at once, "I've...I've been..." lonely, is what he wanted to say, lonely, out of his mind with pain and worry. "I've been better" Heero let it slip, it was too much, all of it was like a tidal wave over him,
"Have you?" Duo asked as if he didn't believe Heero, trying to brush off the whole situation, but it wasn't enough to convince anyone.
"...Duo" Heero's voice came again, Duo bit his bottom lip hearing his name from Heero's own lips was like dying. It hurt so much, every part of him screaming in agony, 'please stop' Duo begged of his body.
Heero moved and forced Duo to look at him, Duo had never seen this expression, those blue eyes portrayed so much. "Since you're disappearance, everything s been dark...gray...and nothing's been able to chase it away." Heero's voice broke under the weight of the emotions that played into it.
Duo froze, Heero reminded him of better days, days that weren't weighed down by sin, the days when he was honestly happy. When the war had ended, they had gone their separate ways, it tore Duo apart.
Duo looked away suddenly, Heero studied Duo he looked like shit, the dark circles under his eyes were so uncharacteristic, he was positive he looked no better. He swallowed, his throat was dry with anticipation he wanted to say so many things,
"I thought about you for so long..." Duo whispered softly it was as if the world had disappeared.
Heero didn't catch it till after he spoke, "I can't seem to get you out of my head" He said as they turned to look at one another.
Neither of them could understand why they were living life in such agony, why they were fighting what they both had desired so long ago. Why was it they were bulking against destiny when it was obvious they both wanted it, wanted one another.
"...I swear I'll change my ways, come back home" they said together eyes meeting again, as they stared at one another in shock and disbelief. It was surprising to everyone when Heero broke into silent tears and grabbed Duo up suddenly and crushed him against his body.
Duo closed his eyes not fighting the tears as he hugged Heero back the two trying to melt together in the warm embrace.
"I want you to come back home" Heero whispered desperately "I love you..." he choked out into Duo's ear whispered quietly enough for only Duo to hear it. Duo let a sob escape his lips, hearing that from Heero was all it took to make his feel so open and vulnerable in that instance, "...So much..." he whispered. "I love you so much" Duo managed out.
In that moment the world didn't matter, weeks upon weeks of living life in a soul consuming hell was washed away in each others arms, and neither dared to go back.