A/N: A Valentine's Collaboration between myself DancesWithSeatbelts (nalufever on tumblr) and Lakerae (hidetheremote on tumblr)! We hope you enjoy - any and all reviews appreciated!

Levy set down her mug and grinned at Lucy. Not a small polite smile. A giant shit-eating grin. "You actually told Natsu that if he brought home two cans of whipping cream that you'd do that?"

Toying with the straw in her beverage, Lucy bit her lips and nodded. She looked furtively left and right, but the other patrons of the coffee shop weren't paying the two girls any mind. "Fair is fair and I like whip cream as much as the next person."

"It sounds a bit like it's a thing out of a cheap porno." Levy covered her mouth and giggled. "Or something a no-talent hack of a wannabe writer puts into erotica, no offence."

"Well, what's your big plan for you and Gajeel?" Lucy crossed her arms and lifted her chin. "Boring old missionary?"

Levy turned to her blonde friend, a smug smile growing on her face. "If by 'missionary' you mean 'old church,' then yes, we do plan on doing it in that abandoned monastery."

Lucy's face turned beet red and she gasped dramatically, hand over her heart. She leaned in closer to Levy and whispered, "That. Is. Blasphemy."

Levy giggled and whispered back into Lucy's ear, "That's the point, Luce. He's taken me to heaven and back, might as well send me to hell on Valentine's Day."

"Quit with the bragging." Lucy flipped open her notebook and ran a finger down the contents. "The other thing I've been meaning to try is 'The Waterfall' from the last book Erza lent me. I think you read it after me, The Pirate Marquise and His Menagerie?"

"That was such a good book." Levy squirmed in her seat, rubbing her thighs together as she imagined herself and Gajeel in the lead characters' roles. "Ooh! The next in the series is available next month."

Lucy's eyes fluttered to a close as she took a deep sigh. Her sex life wasn't boring at all, but a whipped-cream bikini seemed tame compared to Levy's idea of a Valentine's night out. She thought about the book again, remembering scenes that made her blush. Natsu was an enthusiastic hedonist and she was battling against her prurient upbringing.

"I'm not sure what I want, other than to do something new and unexpected." Lucy flipped more pages to get to another heavily underlined idea. "It isn't so much having sex - but where sometimes."

"Like outdoors?" Levy shrugged and took another sip of her coffee. "As if we all haven't gone on hundreds of guild missions and had camping sex."

"Not merely outdoors." Lucy was dismissive. "I'm talking about doing it in public, where you run the chance of getting caught - not that I want to get caught. It's knowing that there's a possibility, that's hot."

"And being with a fire dragon slayer isn't hot enough?"

"Hot in a different way. Even better than the 'candle' position." Taking a quick look at the time, Lucy blanched. "Shit! We're gonna be late for Mira's Galentine's brunch!"

Levy downed the rest of her coffee, wincing at the last bitter drops. "Shit, you're right. Let's go. We don't want the beast to come out."

Levy looked in the mirror, staring at her breasts. Black lace made her look sexy, and she couldn't wait for Gajeel to rip it off her body. She took out a flowy skirt and peasant blouse out of the closet—the most boring outfit she had—and wore it over her lingerie.

"Hey, Shrimp! What's taking so long? We have to leave before the sun sets or we may never find the damn church tonight." Gajeel shouted from the bottom of the stairs, hand gripping the rail out of frustration.

Levy rushed downstairs, clipping a barrette in her hair as she reached her iron dragon slayer. "Yeah, I'm ready."

Gajeel ogled her, eyes caressing every inch, from her feet encased in yellow sandals to the top of her hair. "Wow, you're really into this roleplay. You look like you're about to sing hymns at mass."

Levy giggled, "And you look like… a man whose soul needs saving."

Gajeel wrapped his arms around Levy's waist and pulled her against his chest. He leaned his face down and lifted her up to brush their lips together, an unexpected, soft, chaste kiss. "Amen to that."

"Make me sing praises to the Lord and all is forgiven." Levy leaned into Gajeel's side. "Did you have to drag me like that from Mira's brunch?"

"Tch. I don't wanna go through that again." Gajeel opened their front door and escorted Levy outside. "Let's say I'm sorry so we can forgive and forget."

"Uh-huh. Why is it I'm always forgiving and you're doing the forgetting?"

"That's just how awesome our partnership is." Gajeel made a show of locking the door, waiting for Levy to walk to the front gate, pocketing a small package he'd hidden earlier. As much as it went against his nature to ask for help, he'd listened to some of the men's chatter in the guild.

He knew Levy and him were solid; knew it gut deep. But from what the other guys were talking about, women liked surprises. This was going to curl Levy's hair. Whistling jauntily, Gajeel strode to where Levy waited - his princess, his better half, his little sex kitten.

"Shall we?" He offered his arm to Levy. "Wouldn't want to keep the abandoned monk house waitin', huh?"

"Oh, so eloquent." Snuggling into her iron dragon slayer's side, Levy almost purred with satisfaction. "This is going to be a Valentine's night to remember!"

Crumbling mortar and creeping vines strangled the weather-beaten shell of the monastery. A flock of birds took flight as Gajeel heaved open the surprisingly sturdy front doors. "Lemme go first to make sure it's safe."

Levy nodded and watched from the threshold as Gajeel did a circuit of the nave and returned smiling. "As long as you don't scream down the roof, we'll be fine."

"As if! You're a screamer too!" Levy stomped inside, filled with anticipation. There were less pews than she'd expected - but the ones that remained were solid looking. Well, time would tell if the benches were in good shape.

"You ready, Shrimp?"

Levy nodded, her hands clutching the hem of her skirt. She crunched it and lifted it a bit so Gajeel could take a peek. She felt the heat between her thighs; wet and ready for him. "I think you need to get down on your knees right now and say a little prayer - you've got a pretty little mouth just right for communing with God."

Holy shit, it's go time. Gajeel hadn't been sure if he'd get a chance to pop the question, but now was good—perfect, actually. He licked his lips out of nervous habit. He stuck a hand in his pocket, reaching for the box burning a hole in his pants.

Levy danced her way to Gajeel, twirling around as she continued to lift her skirt up in a teasing way. She turned her back to him, kicking her feet back and forth like a can-can dancer. Her butt crashed into Gajeel's face, and Levy yelped in surprise.

"Oops! That wasn't sexy at all." She turned around and gasped at the sight of a kneeling Gajeel. "What're you doing?"

"Pfft. Whaddaya think?" Gajeel realized his words hadn't been the romantic gesture he'd wanted. "Fuck."

Levy relaxed. Her gaffe was not a big deal if Gajeel was doing what she thought he might be doing. HOLY SHIT.

"I mean, Shrimp, I know we've been through lots together." Gajeel chanced grinning. Levy was smiling at him - kinda like a mooncalf. Cute. Keep going then. "You're the brain to my brawn, and together we make a damn good team. I wanna make it official."

Gajeel opened the velvet box and displayed the intricately engraved iron ring with a giant sapphire. "Will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?"

Levy blinked and gulped (quietly she hoped). "YES!" She threw herself at Gajeel and they fell over.

"Did you really think we were going to fuck inside a church?" Gajeel asked, lifting a brow at Levy. "I know I have this bad boy reputation, but seriously, Levy, I'm not that bad."

Levy continued to pepper him with kisses, arms clutching to his neck like she was never going to let him go. "Let's have sex down by the bend in the river, beside that spreading oak tree."

Gajeel grinned, his metal piercings glinting even in the lowered light. "Public sex, Levy?"

"Secluded and romantic sex, that just so happens to be outdoors. We're not in public in the back of beyond." Hands on hips, Levy pouted at the smug man who'd mere moments ago asked for her hand in marriage. Her expression shifted into one of sly humour. "Of course, you're making it sound like you'd like a nice quiet night of NOT having any sort of sex, and sleeping alone on the couch."

"Damn, woman. You know where to punch a guy when he's down."

"I can punch you right where it hurts even if you're standing on a chair." Levy made no pretense of looking anywhere else but at Gajeel's groin. "I deliver a mean uppercut."

Stars in his eyes, Gajeel reverently took Levy's hands into his own (not as a preemptive strike against her striking him), "You're fucking perfect."

"I'd feel more perfect if you'd put that ring on my finger." Levy smiled, blinking back tears. "I can't wait to show this off to all our friends at the guild!"

"Hope you can wait until after our tryst, ghee hihi!" Gajeel took hold of the filigreed iron band, sliding it onto Levy's ring finger, dropping a kiss once it was in place. "First things first, right?"

Levy glanced at her hand and then grabbed a fist-full of shirt on either side of Gajeel's chest, tugging him to her level as she rose on tip-toes. "We're gonna celebrate, don't you worry." Levy mashed her lips to Gajeel's and kissed him into a panting mass of need and desire.

Scooping her into his arms, Gajeel carried Levy - her legs hitched around his waist. Somehow Gajeel made it to the cover of the spreading oak. He leaned against the trunk and started to get serious with disrobing his fiancé.

Giggles, moans and guttural begging ensued. Gajeel knew exactly which control buttons to push with Levy, and loved enjoying her bossy nature. Give up control, take control? Never a hard choice with his feisty woman and never a lacklustre lovemaking session.

Suspended naked in Gajeel's arms, Levy gasped, yielding her neck to his nibbling lips. "Harder," she demanded, "bite me like you mean it."

Lust tightened its grip on Gajeel. Surrendering to Levy's wishes he applied more pressure, doing his best to not damage her skin. "Fuck, you're so hot!"

Levy clutched her lover's broad shoulders and let go a thin keening cry. "I want you inside of me, no more teasing." Large and strong hands grabbed her hips, rubbing her over Gajeel's stiff cock. Levy squirmed, reaching to caress and guide Gajeel's erection into her moist heat. An aching fullness stretched her feminine muscles as she acclimatised to his girth. Levy clenched her thighs, doing her best to grind as Gajeel held bruising tight to her hips - beginning a slow up and down motion.

Leaning back, angling her hips to rub on Gajeel's groin - Levy panted. She raked her nails over chiseled pectorals, teasing his nipples and back to tangle in his wild mane of hair. "Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me…"

Another surge of lust and passion clouded Gajeel's mind. Kitten scratches made him feel rock-hard, got him even more eager to hear Levy scream. He wanted her to lose control - to slip into insanity with him and bay at the moon. Heh, or babble nonsense and lose her voice from screaming her pleasure.

Gajeel grunted, shifting his hold on Levy's hips. He bowed his head and kissed a puckered nipple, pulling with hard suction - Levy thrashed and swore. Pleased, Gajeel switched to the other, only licking with the tip of his tongue until Levy threatened violence if he didn't give her satisfaction. "Ghee hihi, you'll be satisfied."

He snaked a hand to where they were connected, slowing his powerful thrusts. Gajeel slid a finger inside of Levy, rubbing a small erect kernel of flesh - widening circles that drove her mad.

Delirious, aching, wanton; Levy screamed as Gajeel bit her nipple. Shockwaves of pleasure made her soul fly free. Gajeel thrust in and out a few more times until his own release made him shudder and roar, his bellow sending a flock of birds scrambling into the sky.

Lucy scrubbed her hands under the hot running water, her pale skin turning pink. "Juvia still hates me," she shouted from the bathroom, washing the last bits of red frosting.

"Quick reflexes, though, babe," Natsu said, stoking the fire. "Imagine all that cake in your hair if you didn't block it with your hands," he laughed and added, "but at least red and blonde look nice."

"Thanks." Lucy turned off the water, dried her hands and moved back into the living room. "As kind as you're being, I'd rather not be striped yellow and red."

"What? I'm sure what I said was a compliment." Natsu snickered, "I happen to love you no matter what you look like."

"Be still my heart!" Lucy clutched her chest. "Have you been reading the books that Juvia likes?"

"Heh. My favs are the ones Erza reads." Natsu waggled his eyebrows and leered. "Some of the positions seem a little hard to manage, but they're very inspiring."

Lucy held out her hands to Natsu. "What will we reenact tonight then?"

"I did buy something for that tonight." Natsu gave a warm appreciative look up and down Lucy's body. "Something that I figured would make you louder than usual."

"Me, loud?" Lucy scoffed, "You're the screamer. I'm sure my landlady is planning on kicking me out for noise violations."

"Luce, are you issuing me a challenge?" Natsu beamed happily. "I accept - tonight is gonna be all about who breaks first and is the loudest."

Firmly taking his extended hand, Lucy pumped Natsu's rapidly. "You're on - I'll wish you luck, 'cause you're gonna need it."

"I don't need luck when I've got moves." Natsu purred his reply, "You'll be screaming for more in no time."

Natsu and Lucy panted into each other's mouth. This was a record-breaking fuck session. Three hours of bending, thrusting and gliding against each other's slick bodies—neither of them moaning louder than a breathless gasp.

"I know you came, Lucy," Natsu huffed out, slamming his back against his side of the bed. "I felt you squeeze the life out of me."

Lucy giggled, still trying to catch her breath as she snuggled against Natsu's side. "You're one to talk. My leg is dripping from your…"

Natsu captured her lips, stealing her words. "You're one formidable opponent. I've never been this exhausted in my life. And I've defeated the whole Jiggle Butt gang."

Lucy sat up, craning her neck to look back at an elated Natsu. "Uh-huh. I haven't even brought out my secret weapon, Natsu." She grinned, showing her teeth like a feral beast.

"I don't know what you have up your sleeve, but give me ten minutes to recover, babe."

Lucy leaned in and pressed her lips against his. She hopped off the bed with renewed energy, breasts bouncing. "I'll give you twenty. And you better be prepared to rock my world."

"Snack time? You know the way to my heart, Luce!"

Lucy flung her panties, scoring a direct hit on Natsu's face. "Such sweet talk - but yeah, I'm starving. I'll bring something we can eat in bed." With a salacious wink, Lucy sauntered out of the bedroom.

Natsu sat in bed, hands on his thighs in fists, his control withering in anticipation. His dick was rock-hard and he needed to ease the incessant pleasurable pain.

He exhaled a frustrated sigh, "Hurry up, Luce, or I might do this without you." Natsu's attention snapped toward the door, hearing air hissing in short bursts. His curiosity piqued; without conscious thought his fingers wrapped around his throbbing arousal.

"Patience is a virtue," Lucy shouted as the hissing continued outside the bedroom. "I promise it's worth the wait, babe!"

"Fuck it," he whispered, his eyes fluttering to a close. He squeezed his aching dick, both hands wrapped tight around it. He slowly pumped his arms, Lucy's name escaping his parted lips in soft moans.

"Yes, Natsu?" Lucy's soothing voice echoed in Natsu's ears.

It took a few seconds for the fire dragon slayer to open his eyes, hands still on his package, turning his neck slowly. The magnificent sight in front of him made his cock twitch with delight. "Holy shit, babe. You look absolutely delicious."

Lucy smirked, one hand high on her hip and the other holding a can of whipped cream. "You like? I brought the whole thing in case you were still hungry."

Licking his lips, Natsu nodded fervently, eyes wide as saucers as Lucy made her way to the bed and sat the container on the nightstand.

Lucy sat on his lap, thighs on either side of his hips. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she tilted back, trying to avoid ruining her whipped cream bikini top. Natsu buried his face in her chest, clouds of the sweet treat sticking to his face as he started licking her nipples.

Lucy gasped, "You really are hungry!"

Natsu pushed Lucy on her back, toppling on her. Her breasts were slick and shining, her makeshift bikini top completely licked off. Natsu grinned down at her, grabbing the can and shaking. He sprayed the whipped cream on her crotch, puffs of white covering her tufts of blonde.

"Natsu!" Lucy panted, arching her back off the mattress as Natsu inserted his tongue inside her entrance.

She lifted her head up once in a while, watching her boyfriend lick and suck the life out of her. Lucy grabbed his pink hair and sat up - chest heaving, "Natsu, I want to taste you, too. You stay where you are, let me change position."

Lucy sprayed the whipped cream on his cock, her hot core hovering inches above Natsu's face. She darted her tongue onto the tip, licking the head down to his shaft in long strokes like an ice-cream cone on a hot summer day. She swallowed his dick in one breath, earning a deep moan from Natsu.

The sensation was overwhelming, and Natsu hummed and whimpered against her slick folds as he continued to eat her out.

"Natsu, I want you - I need you inside now."

He didn't need to be told twice.

Lucy immediately found herself on her back, Natsu panting on top of her. He crashed his lips against her, swallowing her scream as he slid his cock inside. His hands were on either side of her head, fisting the bed sheet as he snapped his hips hard.

Lucy broke their kiss, gasping and holding onto his shoulders for dear life. She dug her nails hard, leaving scratches on his back. Her legs wrapped around his hips as he continued to thrust into her.

"Natsu, I'm almost there." She peppered his collarbone with kisses, nibbling the soft skin as she stifled her moans.

Natsu sat up on his knees, grabbing Lucy's legs and resting them on his shoulders. Lucy parted her thighs, lifting her hips to meet his as he entered her again and then locked her ankles around Natsu's neck.

Her inner walls squeezed around his thick cock, prompting Natsu to exclaim, "Fuck, Lucy, you're so tight."

She winked at him, squeezing one more time and pushing her hips to egg him on. Natsu pushed his hips, thighs slapping against her ass, his fingers wrapped around her legs. He felt her walls trembling, his cock twitching inside.

"Fuck, Lucy, I'm about to come."

"Me too, baby. Me…"

Their bodies tensed at the same time, both reaching the climax they desperately wanted.

"I love you, Lucy." Natsu huffed as he crashed on top of her, his face buried into the crook of her neck.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Natsu. I love you, too." Lucy's eyes fluttered to a close, her breaths slowing down.

They fell asleep, wrapped around each other in a hot sticky mess.

Far earlier than either participant wanted to be awake, Levy and Lucy met for coffee and gossip. They'd agreed weeks ago that 10:00 a.m. would be a good time - but neither had counted on their partners being insatiable. Going to bed early did not mean getting sleep.

"How is it a person can feel good and yet look terrible after a long night of Valentine's fun?" Lucy stirred her drink and covered her yawn. "You look freaking radiant, it's not fair."

"You're one to talk." Levy sniggered. "There's a certain glow in your eyes that I haven't seen lately. But what's up with you drinking black coffee?"

"Pfft! I got maybe three hours of sleep." Lucy took a satisfying slurp of her coffee. "I may have overindulged on whipped cream last night. Time to cut calories today."

"Then why are you eating a cinnamon bun with extra icing?" Levy giggled and broke apart the muffin on her plate. "All I know is I'm starving." She popped a piece into her mouth and chewed with pleasure, swallowing before talking again. "See anything different about my outfit?" Levy used her left hand to rub her eye with an exaggerated motion, cupping her chin and fluttering her fingers strategically.

"No fucking way!" Lucy yelped and looked guiltily around the tearoom, mouthing apologies to the other patrons. "Is that what I think it is?"

Levy stopped slouching, she answered proudly, "Yes! Gajeel asked me the most important question a young woman our age cares about."

"He asked you if you wanted to get super freaky and discover new kinks?" Lucy asked with a straight face, relenting once Levy rolled her eyes and laughed mockingly. "Levy, give me your hand so I can adore this properly!"

"Should I be worried?" Suddenly appearing, Gajeel frowned at Lucy, "Levy's all mine now. Even if she ditched me this morning at an ungodly early hour." He pulled out a chair and sat between the two girls. "Just so you know, Bunny Girl, Levy's been the one to introduce me to new kinks."

Lucy murmured, "Uh-huh," and kept admiring Levy's engagement ring. "Says the man covered in questionable piercings. I also know you're the one who took her to that quaint little shop over on Belter Street." Lucy took a break from the sparkly ring to smirk straight at Gajeel. "You know the one, it's got smoky windows and most of the products there take batteries."

"Ghee hihi! Like your idiot boyfriend wasn't the one to brag about finding it to me first?"

"Po-tay-to, po-tah-to." Lucy scoffed, "Whether it was you, Natsu or Erza crowing about finding that shop first, it doesn't matter. All I know is you're plenty naughty all on your own."

"Please! You're the saucy one in our relationship, Luce!" Natsu dropped into the free chair at the table and grabbed a bit of the sticky bun, licking the icing in a suggestive way. "I learned more from you than the other way around, that's for sure."

"How can you say that?" Lucy smacked Natsu's hand. "Go get your own food, you know you wore me out last night."

"Ugh. TMI." Gajeel urged Levy to finish her drink. "Me'n Levy are gonna keep on celebrating today. You'll see us tonight at the guild - maybe."

"Fine." Lucy giggled. "Levy, I want to say congrats and I hope Gajeel treats you like the queen you are."

"Gajeel is one lucky sonuvabitch." Natsu wasn't particularly quiet with his assessment. More customers of the tearoom glared at him. "But not as lucky as me and Lucy." Natsu kissed Lucy on the cheek. "We're a perfect match."

"Thanks," she said, kissing Natsu softly on the lips.

Lucy waved good-bye to Levy and Gajeel as they left hand-in-hand. She turned to look at Natsu—who was smiling devilishly, "Want to head over to that shop and buy some toys?"