Letter to Unca Donald

By Sharan McQuack, Launchpad's wife.

My local library had a book sale last Saturday and I bought a copy of "Webby Saves the Day". I am therefore rewriting said story. I never liked that annoying little goody two shoes much. But I STILL wouldn't encourage her to take on three crooks all by herself!

This story took place directly after Donald went into the Navy and left the Trins with their Uncle Scrooge.

Dear Unca Donald,

How is the Navy? Are you really seeing the world? We didn't like staying with our Unca Scrooge at first. He's kind of grouchy and the mansion is too big and too old and full of stuff we might break. But we're starting to like him, anyway.

Unca Scrooge has hired us a Nanny, Mrs. Beakly. We like her. She cooks great and is nice. But she has a granddaughter, Webby who lives here, too and we didn't like her because she's a GURL. And a girly-girl to boot! She plays with dolls and jumps rope.

Unca Scrooge has a pilot named Launchpad. He's lots of fun. He plays with us a lot, which we like. Even if he lets WEBBY play, too.

Then, right after we got here, the Beagle Boys snuck in when Unca Scrooge and his butler Duckworth (he's OK for a stiff) were gone. the Beagles tried to rob the place because they THOUGHT it was empty. Webby tried to stop them all by herself, to prove she was just as good as a boy. Silly thing could have gotten herself killed! But I guess we shouldn't of ignored her.

Webby used marbles and a skateboard to trip the Beagles up. They tripped and fell and a suit of armor fell on them. But that just got them MAD. They jumped up and grabbed Webby and tied her up with her own jump rope. We came to see what all the noise was about and the Beagles grabbed us, too and tied us up.

We told the Beagles they better let us go or our Unca Scrooge would get them. That was a mistake.

"Scroogie is your UNCLE? Yeah, I heard he had identical triplets for great-nephews! You must be them! Brothers, we got us here some hostages and kidnap victims! Scroogie will do whatever we say! Or Else!" said a Beagle named Big Time (who is teeny-tiny!)and he slit his throat with his finger. We knew what THAT meant!

And they shoved us into a room and locked the door. We were still tied up.

But Webby was tied up with her own jump rope and its wooden ends kept it from tieing right. Webby got her little fingers into the knots and managed to untie herself. Then she got us untied. Webby tried to climb up the chimney, but it was too small. Unca Scrooge must not want burglars climbing DOWN. And he's too old for Santa. And the window was locked tight.

Then Louie remembered he had a copy of the Jr. Woodchuck guidebook (paperback edition) in his pocket! It had chapters on smoke signals, Morse code and how to start a fire.

Soon, we had a fire going in the fireplace and we were sending up smoke signals: 3 dots, 3 dashes, 3 dots. Naturally (1), they merged together to form the letters S O S.

It didn't take long before Launchpad saw this signal and came to investigate. Launchpad saw us and we banged on the window and pointed towards the door.

Launchpad also saw the Beagles eating Unca Scrooge's food, playing pool on his pool table and otherwise making themselves at home. Launchpad is no detective, but he didn't need to be to figure out what was going on.

Launchpad radioed the cops. Launchpad stuck a "club" in his copter's control (2) and grabbed a wrench. Launchpad lowered down a rope ladder and he climbed down it. We backed away from the window so he could break in. Launchpad helped us up the ladder and into the copter. Then, the cops arrived, their sirens blazing.

The Beagle Boys ran into the room where they THOUGHT we were still locked up, intending to hold us hostage. But we were safe in Launchpad's copter. We could see the Beagles surprised faces when they saw we were gone and we laughed. Launchpad stayed up and out of harm's way until the cops had hauled the Beagles off to jail.

We thanked Launchpad and the cops.

And we guess Webby isn't too bad. For a girl.

Write soon,

your nephews,

Huey, Dewey and Louie.

(1) This being a cartoon, that is perfectly natural.

(2) Do helicopters HAVE autopilots? How should I know?