A/N: This is the second Sherlock BBC fic I ever wrote. It is unbetaed and not brit-picked. Sherlock and subsequent characters don't belong to me - I just like to play with them. Here. Have a bit of free-form (falling?) poetry.
Leap
There are so many misunderstandings surrounding sociopaths
So many people misdiagnosed
That's what he's really concerned about
How to define himself without the safety of that label
Without the certainty, the security, it provides
There can be no definitions anymore
This isn't the time for labels, or boxes
Even the sort in one's own head
This is the time for honesty
The stakes are high
At least as far off the ground as he is
This is a new sort of game
There's a familiar flash of resentment as he watches John answer the mobile
Problem, Sherlock?
Yes, there's a bloody problem
He is the problem
This is a problem
This world, these people
So calm, so unconcerned
So easy, not being him
Not easy, being John now, either
He pushes the resentment away
Doesn't believe in God
But maybe there's something?
Someone, with quite the sense of humor
He doesn't always relate
Doesn't always get the cosmic joke
Maybe that's why it's been easy to call him autistic
Another label, useless, he discards it
Can anyone, even Sherlock Holmes always get God's jokes?
Easy to resent John
Loyal, trusting John
Always surpassing his expectations
No one surpassed his expectations
Until John
John came and brought confusion
But he made everything interesting
One layer more complicated
But also more vulnerable
Or maybe no more vulnerable at all?
But no one else needed to know
Vulnerable isn't interesting
Isn't mysterious
It's synonymous to weakness, defenselessness
Susceptible, exposed
Loving someone isn't glamorous
How do other people tolerate it?
Something happening outside your control
Not feeling quite yourself anymore
Pushed and pulled around by feelings
By enemies, by bad men
There weren't bad men, before
Just men, just women
Tedious
Now it's like he's watching the world through a screen
A screen built by John
Against his will
Despite what either of them wanted
They've happened to each other
There's no undoing this
Time is tiresome
It's only perceptible in the one direction
Not a time for doubts
Just a quick leap
Air rushing past
A momentary flash of doubt
So quick it's almost forgettable
But then
He's pulled it off.
