Summary: Dean wakes up in an alternative world where everything seems perfect. But Sam has a secret. Inspired by 'What Is and What Should Never Be'. One-sided Wincest.

A/N: Something a bit angsty for a change of pace.

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, its fandom, its characters or anything connected to them. I do not make money or profit in any way from this story.

Meant To Be (Part 1 of 3: Paradise) by frostygossamer

Dean woke with a start, from a dream about possessed agricultural machinery. He shot bolt upright in his bed. Sam was missing. Actually Sam and his whole bed were missing. Dean shook his head to wake himself all the way up.

He was in a single room, and he hadn't fallen asleep in one. He had fallen asleep in the usual beat-up twin-bed motel room they always rented, in the bed nearest the door, with Sam snoring noisily in the other bed, where he was supposed to be. What was going on?

His hand automatically slipped under his pillow to find his knife. No knife. He jumped out of bed and looked around for his duffel. He tried the closet. No bag in the closet, but his stuff was all there, hanging neatly in a row. He searched the nightstand. No gun. What the hell?

Right then there was a soft rap at the door, and a female voice asked, "You decent, honey?"

He glanced down at himself. He was wearing pajamas, striped freakin' pajamas. He grunted in the affirmative and the door opened a crack as a gentle-featured middle-aged woman peeked in, a smile decorating her face.

Dean almost forgot to breathe. It was Mary. It was his mom. Alive!

~o~

Dean was still feeling a little numb as he sat at the breakfast table, watching his dad tuck away a stack of homemade blueberry pancakes. This was so obviously a dream.

He caught John's eye mid-mouthful.

"Gonna get cold, son," he warned, gesturing at Dean's plate with his fork.

Dean grinned and started to eat. The pancakes were good, just the way he remembered them. Mary poured him a cup of coffee and sat down beside him.

"Here, honey." She smiled prettily, passing him the cream.

She looked a little surprised when he passed on it and chose to drink his coffee black.

"Don't tell me you're on a health kick, like your brother," she joked.

Dean paused from eating. "Sure. He stays in shape, right?" he asked, trying to keep it casual.

Mary chuckled. "You can ask him yourself Saturday," she said. "Jess just called. They'll be popping over again at the weekend. That's twice in the same month. I must be doing something right."

Dean smiled as he finished his breakfast. Sam was OK. And Sam and Jess were together? Guess, in this world, his brother HAD gotten that apple-pie life he wanted.

~o~

So here he was in some alternative reality again. A world where his mom and dad were alive and well and happy. As the week progressed, he managed to fill in some more of the blanks about his alternate life.

It seemed that in this world also, Sam had gone away to Stanford to study law. Only here he had graduated and successfully qualified as a lawyer. After graduation he had married his sweetheart Jessica, and they were now living happily in the city.

Dean had moved out and got work as a car mechanic, something he loved. There had been a succession of women in his life, Julie, Jodi, Kathy, Suzy, Lola, and they were just the ones his mom knew about. Finally he had settled down with a girl named Penny, whom John was particularly fond of.

But last year he and Penny had broken up. Subsequently Dean had moved back in with his parents temporarily, to save money, and was working at a garage near by.

He and Sam had apparently very much grown apart since Stanford. To the extent that they had not spoken for almost a year before Dean moved back home. Once he had, Sam couldn't exactly avoid him, despite the fact that Dean didn't seem to care much for his brother's wife, for reasons Mary couldn't fathom.

Dean felt a little sorry about the distance between him and his baby brother. But, after all, that happens in normal families. He was just glad that Sam was happy and doing OK.

All in all his life in this world was boring but safe. Everyone was alive and happy. It seemed like paradise. But every paradise has its serpent.

~o~

Dean slammed the car hood down, and he was wiping the sweat from his brow with a forearm when he noticed Jess hovering self-consciously on the garage forecourt. He wandered toward her, rubbing his hands on a dirty rag. He barely recognized her after all this time. How long had it been? But he was glad to see her looking well.

"Hi, Jess," he greeted her. "What brings you here? Problem with the car?"

Jess shook her head. "Dean, I was wondering if you were free for lunch," she explained.

Dean was surprised. He and Sam's wife weren't exactly close in this world. Now Jess wanted to go lunch with a scruffy mechanic rather than her girlfriends? His immediate thought was something must be wrong with Sam.

"Sure," he said. "There's a quiet little place just around the corner. I'll go wash up."

~o~

Ten minutes later they were sitting in a booth in the diner.

"What's wrong?" Dean asked, in what he hoped was an understanding tone of voice.

Jess fidgeted nervously. "It's Sam," she said.

Dean was afraid of that.

"I think he's having on affair," she went on.

"You mean you think Sam's seeing someone else?" Dean smiled. "Seriously? Seeing some woman behind your back. Does that sound like our Sam?"

"No. I know it doesn't," she admitted. "But he IS up to something. He's been sneaking around, being evasive when I ask where he's been. A couple times, when he said he'd be working late, I called. He wasn't there."

Dean chuckled. "There's gotta be a simple explanation," he said. "Sam's no cheater. Believe me. I know him."

"Of course you do," Jess agreed. "That's why I've come to you. You're his brother, Dean. I figured maybe you could ask him, find out if I'm just being paranoid. I don't want him to think I don't trust him, but..."

He patted Jess' hand reassuringly. "I'll have a word with him," he said. "Don't you worry. It'll be nothing."

Dean just hoped Sam wouldn't take his interference the wrong way. This Sam wasn't his Sam, and he wasn't going to open up to him the way he was used to. This Sam wasn't his best friend.

Dean was sure Jess was wrong to have suspicions about his brother, but then again maybe, in this world, Sam didn't have that stick up his ass.

~o~

Sunday was a beautiful day, and John decided to have a barbecue. So all the family were sitting out in the back yard enjoying the sun.

Dean flipped the cap off of a beer, and handed it to his brother.

"Things OK at home, dude?" he asked casually, as he sat down with his beer on the bench beside Sam.

Sam was hunched forward morosely, with his elbows on his knees and his knees wide apart, almost monopolizing the bench. Dean lolled back and stretched his free arm along the chair back behind him.

"Jess and you good?" he probed.

Sam sighed. "Jess is fine," he replied quietly. "Jess still has no idea. Thank God."

"No idea?" Dean prompted. So Sam WAS hiding something after all. "You sure about that?"

Sam looked at him. "Don't sweat it. There's no way she'd ever guess. Hell, this is WAY too weird for Jess to ever suspect."

"Weird?" Dean queried. Sam was into something weird? Sam? Strait-laced Sam?

"Know what you said, Dean," Sam continued, turning round to face him. "But this IS weird. Wonderful but weird. It's illegal for a reason."

"Illegal?" Dean repeated. Honestly, he was shocked. What the hell had Sam gotten himself into? Drugs? Cheerleaders? Worse? Sam went to Law School for God's sake!

"Yeah. I oughta know," Sam agreed, and took a swig of his beer. "I'm a lawyer, right?"

Dean was burning to know the details of his brother's crime. But, right now, he thought he had better just act supportive.

"Look, man," he said. "It's not so bad. It's not too late to quit."

"Quit?" Now it was Sam's turn to question. "Wanna quit? Seriously? After everything you said? After everything we've... done?"

That retort left Dean a little confused. What? He covered by concentrating on his beer for a few moments.

"Dunno what I said but..." he began.

"I remember every word you said, Dean," Sam snorted. "Say you don't and you're a freakin' liar."

Dean almost choked on his last mouthful of beer. What the hell was Sam saying? What the hell?

"Sam!" he gasped. "Don't understand..."

"C'mon," Sam said, standing up abruptly and grabbing his arm. "Come with me in the house. Out here so is not the place to talk about this."

TBC

A/N: So what's Sam's secret?