To be honest, I didn't know John Watson that well. It was mainly just SherlockSherlockSherlock going through my head when I saw John, because Sherlock and John were always together, and I never saw John on his own. But I slowly got to know John and I liked him. He was always kind to me. He was kind to everyone and everyone liked him. But even the kind ones usually ignored me.
John didn't.
Which was why I hated Sherlock, just a little bit, when he broke John by pretending to die. I mean, I know he had to, and it was Jim's – I mean, Moriarty's fault really, God I hate that I was ever taken in by him, but he was so charming. Anyway. Moriarty played this evil trick on Sherlock and so Sherlock had to pretend to die.
The thing is, I always thought I was in love with Sherlock, but I've realised lately it's just a mad, obsession, crush thing. John's in love with him, no matter how much he insists he's not gay. And maybe he's not. It doesn't change the fact that he needs Sherlock. And Sherlock needs him. Everyone can see it, except them, apparently.
They're a mad pair.
But it hurts, watching John, day after day. Watching him crumble and sink into despair. He still works at Bart's, see, so I still see him. We chat, occasionally, meet up in the canteen, and he's nice, still kind, but the life's gone out of him. If I were trying to be Sherlock I'd note how his clothes aren't looked after like they used to be because he doesn't care anymore. And I try to help, but I know that only one person can, and that person isn't me.
That person is apparently dead.
But the thing is, the thing is, I hold a piece of information. I helped Sherlock fake his death, you see, because I work in the morgue, I was able to help. And John still thinks Sherlock's dead. Why Sherlock insists that John remains ignorant, I don't know. Something about his safety, but if John knew Sherlock was still alive I know it would help. Maybe he would be hurt, because Sherlock didn't tell him, or let him help. But it would still help him cope.
But I can't tell, because I promised Sherlock, and so I have to watch one of my few friends fall apart. And it's tearing my heart out.
Damn you Sherlock Holmes.