He didn't even notice him before Superboy slammed the door and he revealed himself by saying: "You're doing it wrong."
He had been so engaged with his argument with the boy that he didn't even realize Batman had entered the room. Even though Batman was known for this "trick", Superman still got amazed at how he was able to pull it off on him –a guy who could hear an ant's heartbeat more than a country away.
"Excuse me?" was all he was able to say to the guy. He still felt the frustration in every corner of his body, and Batman's know-it-all attitude wasn't exactly what he needed right now.
"You're doing it wrong." Batman was nonchalantly leaning against the wall with his arms and legs crossed. The cape was not draped around his body, as he would usually have it in the field. He looked relaxed, despite the always present frown around his mouth.
"You can't just demand a young man like him to step in line because you order him to. Not without proving your commitment to the project anyhow."
"Well, excuse me for not wanting your advice, 'father of the year'." Superman said sarcastically while finding himself a seat. He had promised Ma and Pa to bring Connor home for the Holidays and he wasn't prepared to break that promise, just because Connor was acting like a child. But he would have to wait a couple of minutes before he tried again. At least to get himself calmed down.
"I'll bet you're only here because Alfred ordered you to!"
"Indeed I am." Batman admitted bluntly. "He knew how to deal with a troubled young man too, and even helped him dedicate his life to doing good deeds."
"He threatened to tell the boys embarrassing stories from your childhood again, right?" Superman asked with a smile.
"As he does every Christmas and why I will pick up Nightwing from the Titans as soon as Robin has packed. Batman pulled up a chair, mumbling "like the boys can't find the way themselves. They save the world every other week. One would think they had learned to order a cab by now."
Superman let out a silent laugh while starring intensely at the table. "Why does it have to be so hard…"
"People are… problematic at best." Batman admitted. "But they are also why we do everything that we do."
They both let the silence fill the room for a minute or two. Then Batman tried again: "You could always ask. You know, I have trained and lived with three boys the exact same age as him. And I bet at least one of them was more difficult to handle than Connor."
"Well, one of them died too." Superman snarled, as he pushed out the chair and began striding up and down the floor in frustration. Batman slowly stood up himself, walked in front of him and looked him straight in the eyes: "I know you are frustrated. Which is why the kryptonite ring stays in the lead-lined pocket for now. But mention Jason like that again, and I won't be sorry to send you home to Ma and Pa's Christmas dinner with a broken jaw."
He never even raised his voice, but Superman knew he had stepped over a line. He just couldn't handle Batman's "parenting advice" right now. The guy was one of his closest allies, perhaps even his closest friend. But he was also the only one Superman knew to be this close to being a sociopath. When they first met, he had even thought that Batman had Asperger or something.
"Look, I am sorry. I was out of line. But seriously. I have never seen you as much as give the boys a firm handshake. I mean, you are probably the last guy I would ask this sort of advice of…"
"No boy in my household has ever been in doubt of how proud I feel of them, even though I find it hard to say it out loud. They all know how much I care for them and that I will keep them safe with my last breath if I have to. Even Jason knew that," he growled between his clenched teeth. "But most importantly in this discussion, they have all been impeccable soldiers. You cannot deny that."
Superman nodded. "I guess you're right. I didn't think of it that way…" He knew he had to mend what he broke by mentioning Jason like that, so he pulled himself together and asked: "What would you have done?"
But he didn't get his answer before Robin opened the door behind them and exclaimed a frisky "Ready!" He froze when he saw the stern expression on Superman's face. The one on Batman's he knew all too well.
"Did I… Interrupt something?"
"Not really." Batman said. "Go get the car. I will be there in a second." He casually threw him the keys, not even looking in his direction. His surprised look did however catch Superman's attention.
"You just asked me – to get the car?" Robin asked doubtingly. "Like, to drive it-get it?"
"You have turned sixteen, right" Batman asked without even looking at the boy.
"Seventeen, actually" Robin corrected him.
"Well… Then what is the hold up?" Batman shrugged his shoulders and finally looked over at the excited boy.
"Nothing!" Robin quickly yelled while already running out to the car. He didn't dare hesitate, in case Batman would change his mind.
"See! Connor is nothing like that." Superman made a gesture towards the empty doorway where Robin was standing just seconds before.
"Well neither was Dick. Or Jason. Or Barbara. Or Cassandra…"
"I get your point, thank you, but I am sure you get mine as well." Superman insisted. "What do I do right now?"
"You need a good cop" Batman said convincingly while heading for the door himself.
"Wait – what? A good cop?" Superman shouted after him, intrigued.
"Yes – a good cop." Batman stopped for a second to finish, but didn't bother to turn around. "You can be the unfair grown up who makes all the right decisions. But without a good cop to back you up, to gather the pieces of broken glass and explain why the mirror had to fall… You are just a bastard. With a good cop, you go from unreasonable to being a fair and stern guidance." Batman continued to walk, but Superman stopped him in the doorway.
"Well, you never had a good cop either. What did you do?"
"My good cop is at home, mashing the potatoes about now if I am not mistaken. And he will instantly turn to bad cop if I let his Turkey get dry, so if you would excuse me."
And then he left Superman, who stood back with a crooked smile upon his face and an urgent need to call home.