Orphan Black was created by screenwriter Graeme Manson and director John Fawcett. The Abandoned is purely a fan project we are working on for fun! We are not claiming anything as our own other than the artwork/original characters themselves. We have not made, are not making, and will not make any profit from this. Any official characters and official story elements belong to Graeme Manson and John Fawcett.
– Prologue –
Leigh Callingham felt anger towards DYAD three times in her life. She was sure, as she sat staring at the blonde wig before her, she would feel angry at them again in the future.
Leigh was four years old when her parents sat her down in the living room to have 'the talk' with her. From the serious expressions on Janet and Spencer Callingham's faces, she briefly wondered if she'd done something wrong, but she changed her mind quickly when her mother offered a reassuring smile. Of course, being a small child, Leigh wasn't quite observant enough to notice how anxious her parents were.
Looking back, Leigh couldn't remember much of how the conversation went. The only thing that stood out in her memory was her mother saying something about 'meeting another little girl, just like you', and then being shown a photograph which her father seemed to have pulled from thin air. Leigh stared at it for a second or two, blinked slowly, and looked up to meet her parents' gaze.
"That's me," were the words that came from her mouth. Then came nervous laughter from Leigh's mother, a small smile from her father, and an explanation the four year old could just about comprehend.
"This is Rachel. She looks like you because…"
"Because…"
"Is she my twin?" Leigh asked innocently.
Leigh couldn't quite remember what was said after that. All she knew was that her parents let her believe that this girl, Rachel, was her twin sister for a while, because it was easier than telling the small child the truth. She remembered her mother briefly explaining that the girls were 'given' to mothers and fathers who wanted children but couldn't have any by themselves, and they and Rachel's parents were given 'identical babies'.
Now, Leigh knew this explanation didn't make much sense when she though about it, but back then, she didn't question it. She learned Janet and Spencer weren't her 'real' parents, and she had a 'sister' she had never met. She'd been confused and a little hurt because she couldn't quite wrap her head around it, and her parents had seen that. They did not explain things in full detail until Leigh was a little older – until she met Rachel.
Leigh and Rachel were five years old when they were finally allowed to meet each other. Between the time Leigh's parents told her about Rachel and the day they actually met, Leigh underwent routine tests and examinations, which she'd been subject to her entire life. She still wasn't aware of the true reasons for these tests; she just assumed it was a normal thing normal people had to do.
Meeting Rachel changed everything for Leigh. For a few brief minutes when they came face to face, Leigh thought Rachel was like her in every single way. She seemed just as intrigued by Leigh as Leigh was by her, and so were their parents for that matter. They sat facing each other in a small doctor's office with an enormous window on the wall, talking about goodness knows what (Leigh was too young and too easily distracted to pay attention to the boring chitchat of adults), while the girls simply watched each other for a while.
After some time, a tall, bald man in a white coat entered the room, and asked the girls if they wanted to go and play together in the next room. Leigh only remembered being in the office with the adults one minute, and in a brightly coloured, child-friendly room the next, with nobody but Rachel to talk to.
It was then that Leigh learned she and Rachel had quite a few differences. The first was that Rachel obviously knew an awful lot more than Leigh did.
"I'm Ashleigh," Leigh said to her double. She was known as Ashleigh back then. Rachel saw to it that she would be known as Leigh later on in life.
"I know," was five year old Rachel's response. "My mum and dad already said."
"Yeah," Leigh said, feeling awkward, and averting her gaze. She didn't like the way the other girl stared at her, barely moving at all.
"When did they tell you about all of this?" Leigh found herself asking just to break the terrible silence.
"A year ago. They showed me a picture of you and told me everything."
"Yeah, same," Leigh responded.
"Your parents aren't scientists?" Rachel asked rather curiously.
Leigh shook her head. "Uh, no. Mum works for an animal shelter and Dad works for some company doing boring office stuff."
A small smile tugged at Rachel's lips.
"Are your parents scientists?" Leigh asked.
"Of course," Rachel told her. "They're directly involved in the experiment."
"Experiment?"
"The reason we're in here now. Didn't you see that big window in the other room? They're all watching us. They're probably listening to us as well."
"What do you mean?" Leigh asked, furrowing her brow in confusion. "They're doing an experiment on twins? Why?"
Rachel smiled widely this time. She even almost laughed a little. "Twins? You have no idea, do you? We're clones, silly. That's the experiment. DYAD made us."
Leigh's mind was a blank after that. She vaguely remembered her parents bursting in some time later wanting to take her home; they were upset about something, and looking back, Leigh thought it was because of the way she had to find out from Rachel, and the fact Doctor Leekie and whoever else was in charge expressed enormous disappointment in Leigh's parents for shunning their responsibilities of preparing Leigh for all of this, and then lying about it-
And then there was another sit down with her parents at home, and this time they really did tell their daughter the truth. They told her about DYAD and what they did. Leigh and Rachel were clones, not twins. Leigh's parents were desperate for a child, and agreed to DYAD's terms if it meant they could have one. Leigh was kept in the dark because of her young age, even though her parents were instructed to tell her sooner. It was a lot for Leigh to get her head around.
Leigh remembered sneaking downstairs and overhearing her parents discussing 'the poor choices they made, and how it's all wrong and unfair on Ashleigh and Rachel', and she also remembered them talking about Rachel's parents, and how they were starting to wish the four of them could take the girls away from all of this. Leigh was too little to fully understand it all, but their talks stuck in her mind for years to come.
The following year, a fire wiped out six scientists at DYAD, including Rachel's parents. Leigh didn't see Rachel again for a long, long time. Two things were certain, though. Leigh grew to accept she was part of an experiment she'd never understand, and her parents never disobeyed DYAD's orders again.
The years rolled by, and Leigh found herself slowly adjusting with the knowledge she now had. If she was honest with herself, nothing had really changed. She was still going for routine tests, and sometimes she and Rachel would meet along with DYAD members to discuss their progress. Most importantly, Leigh was encouraged to live as normally as possible. She was free to go to school, make friends, go out and do what she wanted (within reason, of course), and make her own decisions.
She knew it wasn't so simple for Rachel. She knew Rachel was home-schooled, and was now in the care of Doctor Leekie. It might have explained why she was a little awkward socially with children from the beginning. It didn't matter that Leigh was slightly older. Rachel seemed older because of the way she presented herself. Leigh could never quite put her finger on it.
That didn't stop the two of them from getting into mischief together though. The clones were eleven when they started impersonating each other. Rachel would have days when she decided to be difficult, and Leigh would end up going along with her plans for reasons she still couldn't fathom to this day.
"I don't feel like being interrogated today," Rachel told Leigh as they sat side by side in their usual waiting room at DYAD. "It's the same questions every time. They must get terribly bored of us."
"What they're paid to do though," Leigh said.
Rachel shrugged. "Ashleigh, go in there and be me."
"What?"
"Pretend to be me. Like I said, I can't be bothered."
"I'm not pretending to be you just 'cause you don't wanna answer their questions!" Leigh snapped. "They'd find out! Besides, they wanna talk to me as well. I can't be in two rooms at once!"
"I'll be you then," Rachel suggested offhandedly. "It'll be interesting."
"No, Rachel. We'll be grounded forever!"
"Do it," Rachel ordered.
"No!" Leigh said defiantly. "I don't even know that much about you! I might get the questions wrong."
"Well, that will be their own fault if they can't tell us apart by now," Rachel said.
"What's even the point?" Leigh asked, repressing a sigh. "I don't even-"
The door to one of the interview rooms opened at that moment, and a spectacled young DYAD man addressed her.
"Ashleigh? We're ready for you now."
"Of course," Rachel said before Leigh could even open her mouth, and she was on her feet in an instant. Then, Rachel turned to Leigh and tugged on her coat. "Give me my coat back, Rachel! You're always so mean!"
Leigh, too stunned to even respond, allowed Rachel to take her coat and skip towards the office room. The door closed behind her, and all Leigh could do was stare at it.
Panic didn't hit her until the door next to it opened, and another man stepped out asking for Rachel to come in.
Leigh remembered the usual questions being asked, and having no clue how to answer them as Rachel. She also remembered deciding that this was Rachel's own fault, so she had whatever was coming to her.
Leigh refused to answer any of the questions she was asked. She simply sat there and stared intensely at the man, with what she thought was a perfect impression of Rachel, and the man must have fallen for it, because he didn't suspect anything was off.
"Rachel, I understand this gets repetitive and boring, but you really must try to co-operate. You can't sit here in silence; it's a waste of everyone's time, including yours. It really is in your best interest to get this over with as quickly and easily as possible."
More silence. The man sighed irritably and scribbled something on his clipboard. "OK then...let's talk about Ashleigh. Has there been any improvement between the two of you since our last chat?"
"Improvement?" Leigh spoke for the first time.
The man watched her for a second before flicking through his notes. He found what he was looking for, and then spoke again. "Well for instance, words such as 'simple', 'pushover', and 'peasant' pop up a lot when you're describing Ashleigh to me, but you never quite explain why. Last month you said 'Ashleigh is so stupid, she can't comprehend basic English', but you didn't give an example. You also said 'Ashleigh always smells like a cat and it disgusts me greatly.'"
Leigh felt rage and humiliation build up in her to learn this, but she managed to keep her cool. "I never meant any of that. I've actually come to realise that Ashleigh is far more wonderful than I ever noticed. I understand Ashleigh's family has a lot of pets, and it's because her mother does a wonderful job of adopting and raising so many poor animals, particularly cats, who are in need of loving homes. In fact, it's ME with the problem. I don't know if you've noticed, but I can't stop staring out of windows."
An awkward silence followed.
"I think I've been taking my problems out on Ashleigh for a while. She's the only one who's noticed my window problem, and she keeps trying to talk to me about it, and then I just get mad, so I say bad things about her. I don't mean any of it. I think I need help. Professional help. I stared out of my bedroom window for five hours straight yesterday."
"Err, OK Rachel, this is unexpected-"
"I know, but I feel I need to get it off my chest. It's like I just see a window and I'm drawn to it like a magnet. I don't know how or why it started, but it just did. I'm scared there's something wrong with me. Oh, don't tell Aldous, please, please, please! I just want the window thing to stop!"
The next thing Leigh remembered was seeing Rachel again in the corridor after being dismissed, and war being declared.
"YOU TOLD THEM I'M A HORRIBLE PERSON!" Rachel bellowed as she threw Leigh's coat at her forcefully.
"THAT'S BECAUSE YOU ARE! YOU TOLD THEM I'M A PUSHOVER! AND A PEASANT!"
"YOU'RE SO STUPID YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT 'PEASANT' MEANS!"
"WELL YOU'RE EVEN MORE STUPID BECAUSE ALL YOU DO IS LOOK OUT OF WINDOWS!"
"THAT'S A LIE!"
"YOU'RE LOOKING OUT A WINDOW RIGHT NOW!"
"NO I'M NOT, I JUST GLANCED-"
"SHUT UP, DUNCAN! THIS WAS YOUR STUPID IDEA ANYWAY! HAVE FUN IN THERAPY!"
"YOU GOT ME PUT IN THERAPY?!"
"YOU'LL THANK ME FOR IT WHEN IT FIXES YOUR STUPID WINDOW PROBLEM!"
The girls were separated by members of staff appearing to pull them away from each other, while others stared furiously at them for disturbing their peaceful working environment. The last thing Leigh remembered from this incident was Rachel being dragged, kicking and screaming, towards the exit by at least two adults, and her small, enraged face glaring at Leigh over her shoulder.
"THIS IS WAR, CALLINGHAM! THIS IS WAR!"
Rachel got revenge on Leigh, and Leigh got revenge on Rachel for getting revenge. They would humiliate each other over the years in any way they could think of, including Rachel sneaking into Leigh's school in her uniform while Leigh was off sick one day and earning Leigh a month's detention, and Leigh throwing a temper tantrum in front of Leekie and the rest of DYAD about having floor-to-ceiling windows installed in her room, while pretending to be Rachel. It wasn't long before Leigh broke one of these precious new windows (Rachel would never admit she was extremely fond of them) in retaliation to Rachel drawing all over Leigh's bedroom walls with crayon, and leaving Leigh to take the blame.
"It was RACHEL!" Leigh insisted to her parents, who didn't believe her in the slightest.
Of course, breaking Rachel's floor-to-ceiling window was a step too far. Leekie insisted Leigh's parents paid for the damages, which resulted in Leigh being grounded for a month. The girls were also banned from visiting each other's houses for the next year. What annoyed or amused Leigh the most (she could never quite make up her mind) was that whenever Rachel spotted her anywhere near a window, she would spring to life in panic and force Leigh to move away, as if breaking any windows she came into contact with was a natural reaction to her.
Things calmed down as the girls got older. Each developed their own interests; Leigh in various beauty and hairdressing courses at college, and Rachel in DYAD itself. They saw less and less of each other, and when they met for their usual examinations and questions at DYAD, they would greet each other politely and leave it at that.
Until one afternoon in the waiting room when Rachel decided she was better than Leigh in every way, and made sure Leigh knew it.
The clones had recently turned twenty. Leigh was the first to arrive in the waiting room, and Rachel appeared a few moments later dressed differently to any other time Leigh had seen her. She was wearing smart, expensive-looking clothes, which caused Leigh to frown and raise an eyebrow at her. Rachel simply smirked and delicately sat down next to her.
"Problem, Leigh?" she asked, almost robotically.
"The hell are you wearing?" Leigh asked her. "And since when was my name Leigh?"
"It's a sophisticated and appropriate outfit hand-picked by the very finest professionals in the fashion industry," Rachel explained as if Leigh should have known better. "I am constantly improving myself, Leigh, and I think you ought to be doing the same."
Leigh snorted and slouched in her seat as if to show she didn't care about bettering herself. "I'm not dressing like some cooperate robot bitch," she shot at Rachel, trying to provoke a reaction other than smug or robot.
"Better than dressing like a peasant."
"I don't dress like a fuckin' peasant, Rachel," Leigh sighed wearily. It was true. Leigh had keen eye for fashion herself, and loved to look stylish, but of course, Rachel was always going to be the superior one.
"You speak like one."
"You speak like a robot."
"I speak like a professional," Rachel corrected her.
"A professional what, exactly? I'm taking it you're mega serious about working with DYAD, then. God, they've proper turned you into a minion, haven't they?"
"I'm nobody's minion, Leigh," Rachel told her sternly. "I believe I have a lot to offer the company, if I do say so myself. Aldous seems to think so."
"Whatever, it's your life. And stop calling me Leigh. Nobody's EVER called me Leigh."
Rachel sat up a little straighter, making herself look even taller and higher up than her double. "Well, I prefer Leigh. It's shorter and more sophisticated than Ashleigh, which is a name I never particularly liked in the first place."
"You're full of shit!" Leigh snapped at her, sitting up straight suddenly to scowl at Rachel. "You can't just rename me because you think my name's too trampy-"
"What are you going to do about it?" Rachel asked tonelessly as she stared at the door opposite them, looking rather bored.
"I'll just ignore you."
"I'll be ignored by no one."
"Yeah, we'll see."
"Leigh, Leigh, Leigh, Leigh, Leigh."
"Eff off. How'd you like it if I started calling you Rach?"
"My name doesn't need to be shortened. Rachel is a perfectly acceptable name as it is."
"It's a friggin' typical serious-business name. I prefer my own. Sorry."
"You should think about offering your services to DYAD too," Rachel told her out of the blue when she decided she was bored of discussing their names. "They made you, after all. I believe working with them is an opportunity neither of us can afford to miss."
A pause followed. Leigh leaned forward in her chair, and simply stared. "What is it with you? You used to hate DYAD. You used to run around these halls insulting the staff and forcing me to go along with your stupid acts of rebellion."
"I grew up," Rachel stated simply. "It seems you're still yet to do the same."
"What, so you think I'm immature because I have no interest in DYAD? I don't hate DYAD Rachel; I'm just not into all this science shit. If they wanted me to work with them, they would have said. Leekie's never tried to stop me doing what I want to do."
Leigh sometimes wondered if Rachel used to nag her about joining DYAD because she was jealous of the freedom Leigh had. They were both self-aware their whole lives, but they had their differences. Leigh was allowed to live as she pleased. Rachel's life was directed for her, and probably would have been even if her parents lived. They were both scientists after all, and Rachel's father was one of the creators of the clones. That was the experiment; they were both self-aware, but they were still raised in different circumstances.
"Yes, because working part time in a down-town hair salon is a fantastic way to make a living," Rachel scorned.
"Oh shut up," Leigh snapped. "I enjoy what I do, thanks. Besides, I'm still learning. I've got my whole life to work my way up."
"Perhaps," Rachel responded.
Leigh frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Rachel attempted a smile. "Oh, nothing," she said, and then she stood and strode towards the office door when it opened and she was called in for her routine questions.
Leigh recalled going over the usual questions when it was her turn, and also being told about a new monitor assigned to her. Now she was living in her own place, which was quite a while away from her parents' house, somebody else had to take over. Leigh wasn't particularly thrilled by this, especially when she and her new monitor were introduced.
The new monitor was a young man called Michael Denby, and he worked at the hair salon where Leigh was training. Leigh never quite understood why DYAD chose Michael or how they got him to be her monitor, but she didn't ask what she didn't need to know (she was fairly certain Leekie and the others wouldn't allow her to know anyway), and simply learned to live with Michael around.
"I'm not trying to sound like I'm complaining or anything," Leigh told Michael tiredly after the end of one of their shifts, "but it doesn't make much sense to me. They already see me every few months for tests and questioning anyway, so I never really understood the whole monitoring thing. I could understand it if I didn't know I was a clone, but I've always known, so what else are you gonna tell them about me that they don't find out from me in person?"
"Suppose they wanna know things in more detail, innit?" Michael suggested with a shrug. "It means you don't have to go and talk to them so often n'all. I'll be doing most of that for ya now."
"Eh, whatever," Leigh sighed, picking up her coat and getting ready to leave. "I've got nothing to hide."
Michael wasn't so bad. He and Leigh had a great working relationship at the salon, and often went for drinks with their other friends after their shifts. One thing she learned about Michael though (and it was a thing she didn't particularly approve of) was his drug habits. Leigh didn't think much of it when they were in his flat smoking weed one night; most people she knew smoked the stuff socially once in a blue moon. But when she caught him doing deals for heroin, she couldn't help flipping her lid.
"I don't wanna be monitored by someone doing deals for dangerous drugs like smack!" Leigh bellowed at him when they were back in Michael's flat. "How long have you been using the stuff for?"
"Since before I met you, right? What you didn't know never hurt ya, did it? And it ain't ever interfered with my role as monitor or anything else before!"
"Does Leekie know you're a smack head?" Leigh demanded.
No response. Michael refused to look at her. Realisation dawned on Leigh.
"Oh shit," she breathed, taking a step back from him. "That's how DYAD got their hooks into you, isn't it?"
"Look Ashleigh…the drugs ain't nobody's business but my own. DYAD promised me protection from the cops with the guarantee I'd never get sent down, but only if I signed a contract agreeing to do this whole monitor bullshit."
"And you'd rather turn into their minion than try to get clean," Leigh said, disappointed.
Michael stared at her. "It's me who's supposed to be monitoring you, not the other way around, right? Let's forget this, like you never caught me doin' deals, and we never had this chat."
Leigh closed her eyes, repressed a frown, and hurried to the door to leave. "Fine. Whatever. But you keep your drugs away from me, yeah? If I catch you using them when I'm around, I'm going straight to Leekie and asking for a new monitor."
It was the first time Leigh felt genuine anger towards DYAD. They were using Michael. When it came down to it, it was blackmail, pure and simple. Become a foot soldier in the cloning experiment, or go down for possession of drugs. It seemed like DYAD didn't even care if Michael was still using the stuff. In Leigh's opinion, the least they could do was help him get clean. Even if they were trying to help him, they obviously weren't doing a very good job, and the worst part was Leigh couldn't confront Leekie about it. How many other ordinary people had DYAD forced to work for them? Were her own parents forced into the experiment too? Were Rachel's?
A few days before Rachel's twenty-fifth birthday, Leigh was surprised when a knock at her door turned out to be Rachel herself. It was an early Saturday morning, and Leigh was still in her sleepwear (Leigh thought Rachel chose morning because she knew Leigh would be looking like a scruff so early on, and Rachel wanted to look superior in her robot bitch outfit). Rachel strolled into Leigh's living room before Leigh could even invite her in, and perched herself on the sofa.
Leigh stared at her. "Can I help you?" she snapped irritably.
Mornings did not agree with her. Mornings especially did not agree with her when she hadn't had her first cup of tea of the day and Rachel Duncan had just forced her way into her house.
"I want my hair done before my birthday on Monday," Rachel told her simply. "You're going to do it for me."
Leigh continued to stare. Her tired brain wasn't fully awake. "Uh…what?"
"You heard. I desire a change of appearance, and you're the one for the job."
A pause followed. Leigh blinked and crossed the room. "Are you taking the piss?" she asked harshly. "Thought you disapproved of me and my hairdressing abilities? Go hire a high street professional or something. You're loaded, you can afford it."
"I think you can just about manage," Rachel told her. "Besides, it was a last minute decision and I doubt I'd get an appointment today now."
Leigh sighed and collapsed onto the sofa, burying her face. "Why does it have to be today? Go book an appointment for next week-"
"I want it done before Monday," Rachel interrupted, "and I have plans tomorrow. So go and prepare. I'll be waiting."
Leigh said nothing for a minute, but raised her hand and showed two fingers to Rachel. "Piss off," she grumbled.
Rachel refused to take no for an answer. After half an hour of wearing Leigh down and threatening to have her cats removed and taken to the labs at DYAD to be experimented on in ways Leigh could hardly bear to imagine, Rachel got her way. Leigh finally groaned in defeat and agreed to the task.
"I'm making tea first. I'm having at least two cups, and then I'm getting dressed and having breakfast. After that, I might even have another cup of tea, so don't blame me if you're sitting there bored for God knows how long. And don't blame me if you don't like your new haircut, either."
"Are you at least going to offer me a cup of tea while I wait?" Rachel asked smugly.
Leigh rolled her eyes, made her way to the kitchen and reached out to flick the switch on the kettle. "No."
So, Leigh cut and styled Rachel's hair exactly how she wanted it. She provided Leigh with photographs as examples, to which Leigh scrunched up her nose in disgust.
"You ARE taking the piss," she complained. "You really want it this short? And you want to go blonde?!"
"Can you just get on with it, please?" Rachel asked, sounding a bit irritable herself now.
"This is a massive change, Rachel. You can't just change it back if you don't like it; it'll take years for you to grow it out again. And what if you decide you hate it? I'd take a week or so to think about it if I were you."
"I do not need to think about it, Leigh. Can you do it or not?"
"Yeah, of course I can bloody do it. I just don't want you bitching at me if you don't like it, because if you do, I'm gonna kick your arse."
Rachel knew better than to take Leigh's threats seriously, and after a couple of hours of sitting in Leigh's living room while her double worked, Rachel's look was completely transformed. Her long, dark hair was cut and shaped into the short, blonde bob Rachel requested, and Leigh had to admit to herself she was pleased with her work. She held her breath in anticipation while Rachel examined her hair in the mirror, and was relieved to see a tiny smile appear on Rachel's lips.
"Excellent, Leigh. It's better than I expected."
"Yeah, well, I AM a professional," Leigh reminded her bitterly. "Just because I don't work in some fancy posh salon doesn't mean I don't know what I'm doing."
Rachel lightly got to her feet and made her way to the door. "I'll see you when I see you," she told Leigh airily.
Leigh tugged on Rachel's arm to stop her. "Hold on. That's sixty quid for the cut and colour."
Rachel smiled falsely. "I never said I was paying you."
"I never said I was doing it for free!"
"Leigh, please, my birthday's coming up. Can't we consider this a birthday gift from one sister to another?"
"You're not my sister," Leigh told her sternly. "And I want to be paid."
Rachel's smile faltered. She pulled her arm out of Leigh's grasp and opened the front door. "I can't pay you right now; I don't have money on me. I'll get the money to you as soon as possible."
Rachel was gone before Leigh could get another word in. She knew wasn't going to be paid what she was owed.
Whenever Leigh saw Rachel again from that point on, she couldn't help feeling a little sad. She thought she was just annoyed about Rachel scamming her out of sixty pounds at first, but she realised it was more than that when she began to wonder if she could ever get used to seeing Rachel with her new haircut. The two of them had been so similar when they were younger; of course Rachel was always the more dominant and arrogant of the two, but they'd still had fun impersonating each other and wreaking havoc at DYAD. Rachel had changed so much over the years. It was as though she was trying to differ herself from Leigh as much as she possibly could. Perhaps she just wanted her individuality.
Leigh had often thought about changing the style and colour of her own hair over the years, but she could never bring herself to do it. The long, dark hair was the only thing she and Rachel had in common before Rachel insisted on changing her own. Whether Leigh consciously knew it or not, she wasn't sure she wanted to take away the last thing the girls had in common. It was stupid. She knew it was stupid, but it hurt a little that Rachel no longer wanted that connection.
It was for this reason that, three years later, Leigh couldn't understand why Rachel was still so determined to get her to apply for a position at DYAD.
"For the last time," Leigh groaned tiredly one morning in Rachel's new office, "I don't wanna work here, Rachel. I've just been offered a promotion at work and I'm moving to a new salon."
"Oh please," Rachel said in disapproval.
"Oi! I could end up being salon manager if I keep up the good work! Don't take the piss!"
"I simply think you can do so much better, Leigh," Rachel insisted. "With the right training, you could offer your skills-"
"Skills? What use are my skills to DYAD? You want me to be DYAD's personal stylist? Sorry, but the last time I did your hair, you never paid me. Here we are four years later-"
"Three years," Rachel corrected her.
"-and you still owe me sixty quid."
"You could be earning so much more than what you do now if you would just consider my offer," Rachel tried to explain. "You won't even care about sixty measly pounds anymore."
"But what's the point if I don't enjoy it? I've told you before. I've never been into science. I'm not smart like you and Leekie; it just doesn't interest me."
"You don't necessarily need to do anything scientific. There are desk jobs, office work, field work; you're good with people, for example – you have excellent communication skills-"
"All boring bullshit I don't want any part of," Leigh groaned.
"Well, when you're in a working environment you do, at least," Rachel added as an afterthought.
"Why is this so important to you? Why do you care so much what I do with my life?"
"Leigh…I just think-"
"No," Leigh interrupted, standing up quickly. "I'm not hearing it, Rachel. You're a friggin' control freak. You always were. I enjoy what I do. I have good friends and I'm happy. Just because you're unhappy with your shitty life doesn't mean you can ruin mine as well. Oh, and it's Ashleigh, not Leigh. I hate being called Leigh. Always have."
Leigh didn't even wait for Rachel's reaction. She was out of the door and half way down the corridor before she even realised what she had said to her double.
She wasn't sure when exactly she realised it, but at some point after leaving Rachel's office that day, Leigh was reminded of the horrid fact it was the anniversary of Ethan and Susan Duncan's demise. She vaguely recalled making her way to Rachel's place that evening, and clearly recalled the severe guilt she felt for the harsh words she spoke earlier that day. She wasn't sure what compelled her to visit Rachel. She wasn't sure why Rachel even let her in when she knocked on the door.
Rachel stepped aside without a word, and Leigh instantly noticed the old video tapes scattered on the floor by the television. Rachel had clearly paused one of the tapes to let Leigh in. Rachel's six year old face shone light into the otherwise dim room.
The adult Rachel mindlessly wandered towards the large window on the other side of the room with a glass of wine in her hand.
Leigh hesitated and started to follow. "I'm sorry about earlier. I shouldn't have been such a bitch."
"Oh, don't be," Rachel told her quietly. "I'd be a bitch to me as well."
Leigh knew Rachel wouldn't be talking like this if she wasn't so drunk. She couldn't help wondering how much Rachel had had.
"Well, it was wrong of me," Leigh insisted with a shrug. Rachel said nothing for a while. Leigh could see her watching her through the reflection in the dark window, but neither of them moved. "Anyway, I dunno why I came here. I'll go," Leigh said, turning to leave, but what Rachel said next stopped her in her tracks.
"What do you think it'd be like if we didn't know what we are?" she asked loudly. "If we weren't self-aware?"
"Erm, well…I don't suppose we'd know each other," Leigh suggested. Rachel smiled sadly, but she still didn't pull her gaze away from the window. Leigh thought she might melt into the glass and become a part of it if she managed to get any closer.
"You say that as though it would be a bad thing," Rachel responded.
Leigh managed to laugh. "You're not all bad, Duncan. We've had good times."
"Yet all I seem to do is anger you," Rachel whispered.
Leigh dared to take a step towards her. "I'm sure I piss you off just as much," she reasoned.
Another weak smile from Rachel. Another sip of wine, and then-
"We're not the only ones, Leigh."
A pause.
"What?"
Rachel finally turned away from the window to look Leigh directly in the eyes. "We're not the only clones. There are others."
There are others.
That night, Rachel briefly explained about other clones living all over the world, all of them unaware, but monitored…Leigh didn't believe her at first. She was sure this was another of Rachel's tricks just to cause confusion and outrage for her own entertainment, but that wouldn't make sense; not when Rachel was so down and drunk and serious.
"You don't know the things I do, Leigh," Rachel breathed, unblinking. "There are risks. Risks not even I was aware of; risks I probably would have remained ignorant to if I had never started working for DYAD like this…"
"What risks?" Leigh asked, panicked.
"Health risks," Rachel offered as an explanation. "Health risks these unaware clones have no clue about, and next to no hope of receiving a cure should they develop the illness. I thought perhaps if…if we both became more directly involved with DYAD…if you agreed to work for them…you might be more informed and better protected."
Rachel's explanation confused Leigh a little. If the unaware clones had no hope of a cure, what made Rachel think she and Leigh had hope if they developed this mystery illness she was talking about? Did that mean DYAD had a cure, but was unwilling to use it to save the clones? Would they only use it on clones like Rachel, who were valuable to their company, and not just seen as some expendable product of their experiment?
This was the second time Leigh felt anger towards DYAD. Without thinking, she stepped towards Rachel, took the glass of wine from her, and downed the drink.
Rachel refused to discuss this information with Leigh again. She knew she'd gone a step too far in revealing anything to Leigh at all, and Leigh knew it was pointless to try and get her to talk. Rachel was a lost cause. She had been from the moment Leekie decided to raise her himself. However much she resented DYAD deep down, she was too broken to break free and fight back. Her regret at revealing anything to Leigh about the other clones and illness was proof enough of that.
It was this that stopped Rachel wanting to see or speak to Leigh again. It was this that finally convinced Leigh to apply for a position at DYAD.
Leigh had been working part time for DYAD as a receptionist. It was boring work, and she hated it, but it was something, at least, and it gave her a better chance of finding out what she so desperately wanted to know. She had access to places she was never allowed in when she only came here for her routine tests.
Leigh was sitting at home by herself. A cat was perched next to her, watching curiously as Leigh blankly stared at the blonde wig standing on a dummy head in front of her. She held a pair of scissors in her hand, and was trying to remember exactly how she styled Rachel's hair a few years back without relying on the internet for pictures. She was still being monitored. She never knew when her internet history would be checked.
The conversation Leigh overheard earlier that day played over and over again in her mind. Like any other time Leigh discovered something shocking in her life, her memory was a bit of a blur, despite the fact she only learned this a few hours ago. She remembered only key details.
Doctor Leekie in a room with some other DYAD officials. Something about unaware clones in Europe. Something about a killer. Something about their experiments being wiped out. Something about DYAD being reluctant to take action out of fear of leading the killer to them, and out of fear of ruining the experiment by approaching the other clones to warn them.
This was the third time Leigh felt angry at DYAD. She was sure, as she willed herself to recreate Rachel's haircut on the wig before her, she was going to feel angry at DYAD a lot more in the future. She was sure she was going to look back on this and wish she'd taken another course of action, but in that moment, all she knew was lives were in danger, clones were falling ill, and DYAD didn't seem to care.
But Leigh cared. She cared enough to become Rachel one last time in order to locate whatever information she needed from DYAD. She knew it was madness, but as Leigh would soon discover, madness seemed to be a genetic trait.
She couldn't help it. It was instinctive.