This is it. He's doing this. And something doesn't quite feel right.
in the back of his mind, Dean knows he has nothing really to fear. He's known for a long time about Gabriel's feelings for him, so it's not like unrequited love is something he's got to fear. He's even somewhat certain that Gabriel knows about Dean's feelings for him, so there isn't an issue with catching him unaware either. It's just.. something about the moment seems odd. Off.
Gabriel's leaning back in his desk chair, spinning and waving his hands about to emphasize his tale about the last nerdy game he played, so Dean lets himself wander a bit, calm down. With a soft smile, he imagines stopping that never ending babbling with his own mouth; their first kiss. he's wondered, absently, over the last handful of months, how that mouth might taste. If it would be sugar sweet like all the candy Gabriel likes to stuff himself with. Sugarplum tongue, Dean thinks with a soft chuckle and a pointed look at the mouth in question, gumdrop lips. A real treat. He's not really a fan of sweet things, with the exception of pie, but he's sure that he'd love the taste of it if it were on Gabriel.
Gabriel, who's stopped spinning around and is now bent over his desk, rooting around the pencil jar that his younger brother had made for him for a lollipop. Who grabs two and tosses one at Dean's lap, even though he doesn't really like sweets. Dean waits until Gabriel turns back around to pick up the lollipop from where it landed and reads the label. Falls a little bit more in love with the geeky dork who loves all things sugary and sweet and yet keeps a supply of sour apple candies around for whenever his lame best friend is around, even though he doesn't enjoy them.
Though the gift fills him with a soft bubble of giddiness, the feeling of wrong hasn't quite left. It can't be Gabriel, because nothing about Gabriel has ever made him feel wrong, despite what his dad used to say about those kinds of feelings. It's probably not him because, as pointed out earlier, he's got no worries about this situation. Except, maybe, how long it's taking to actually do something about it.
Bored with chattering about games and rustling about for candy, Gabriel stretches out with an old comic Dean remembers fondly from their youth. His attention is otherwise captured, so Dean spares a moment or two to glance around in search of the wrong.
Out of the corner of his eye, he spots movement. Tucks himself into Gabriel's bed in the corner of the wall, lounging on one of the soft pillows, he uses the motion of bending down to sniff at a pillow to cover up a glance at the door to Gabriel's room.
Ah. There it is.
One of Dean's other good friends, second only to Gabriel(and hopefully not for long, if Dean has anything to say about Gabriel staying just a friend), is Castiel, Gabriel's younger brother. The one who'd made him the pencil jar when he was three and loved to smear everything with paint, the one who Dean had met in Kindergarten and had never wanted to lose, the one who invited Dean to the sleepover that introduced him to Gabriel for the first time.
The one who's also painfully in love with him.
How long he's known about Cas's feelings, Dean's not sure. Only that one day when the three of them plus Dean's younger were hanging out watching films, Cas had been a little bitter about Dean choosing to squash in between Gabriel and the side of their couch rather than the open space next to him. How, that night when Dean had stayed over and Sam had gone back to the Winchester home, Cas had gone sullen and silent whenever Gabriel or Dean leaned in close to whisper to one another. How he'd clam up and become grumpy whenever the two of them were alone and Dean would mention Gabriel.
The point is, Dean knows about Cas's feelings. He doesn't think Cas knows that he knows, otherwise things might be a little more awkward between them. And he definitely doesn't think Cas knows about Dean's feelings for Gabriel-doesn't really want to think about how that admission might change things between them, how it might ruin the friendship they've had for over a decade if the whole hey I know you're in love with me but I'm kinda in love with your brother and he loves me back so let's just stay friends? thing comes out into the open.
The fact that Cas is here-here now, when Dean's preparing himself to do the thing... it's giving him bad vibes. The sour apple lollipop in his mouth suddenly tastes truly sour, now no longer a pleasant taste. He can't do this, the confession, not now, not when Cas is watching. Cas, who's gonna be heartbroken and might want to stop being-
Dean chokes on the lollipop and spits it back into the wrapper. Gabriel is looking at him when he glances back up, a calculating look on his face. Dean stares back, puzzled. A familiar grin splits across Gabriel's face.
"You're not supposed to deep throat the candy, Dean-o," he teases fondly. If Dean hadn't already spit the lollipop out, he'd probably be spitting it out right now-or, you know, still choking on it but more because Gabriel's teasing him about blow jobs, oh my god.
"Whatever," he finally wheezes back, face undoubtedly flushed. From anybody else, that comment would have inspired a wink maybe, or an interested once-over if the goings looked good enough, but from Gabriel? He'll be lucky if the blush goes down anytime soon, so he turns his face firmly away from view and settles down against the soft bedspread. A moment or two later, he imagines another scenario in which he might be spread out across Gabriel's bed and dammit, now that stupid blush is definitely not going away. Dean shakes his head to chase away unhelpful thoughts and Gabriel makes a funny little sound from in his chair that has his heart racing out of nowhere. Ah, Love, Dean thinks, if you were a tangible person I think I'd stab you for all the damage you do to my heart. No hard feelings, though. Heh. Hard feelings. Heart. The thought of love and crushes and feelings reminds him of the other person nearby currently experiencing D, all of the above, and he swallows uncomfortably. Gets the nerve to peek at the crack in the door again and feels his heart sink, finding Cas's big blue eyes wide and on him and the bright pink all over his cheeks. Definitely not helping that little crush.
In fact, the only thing that might help that crush is if Dean were to finally terminate any possibility of anything coming out of it. If he were to, to finally do the feelings thing, the confession... Cas would be forced to give up. And not only that, but Dean and Gabriel would also finally be together. The best thing for all three of them, it seems, is to make his move.
Rolling to his side, Dean slowly sits up. The nerves are building again-this is it, this is it but he forces them back down and gets up from the bed.
Gabriel meets his gaze and there's a soft, pleased look in his eyes. Somehow, like always, he's seen through Dean and he knows what's about to happen. The tension around Dean's shoulders fades a bit and in his relief he smiles a sweet, lovesick smile that Gabriel returns. Oh, Mother Mary, save Dean's soul he is in love, nothing can bring him down now, not even the quiet choking sound coming from outside the door.
Nothing can stop him now.
"I love you, Gabriel."