Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice.

Summary: These are Natsume's thoughts before he meets Mikan. They are older, late teens, I guess. Its all Natsume's POV.

Author Note: This is just something I randomly came up with. Please do let me know what you think of it.

*~*~*~Read and Review!~*~*~*

I want to feel something.

I look around, and I see everyone. I can say I understand what they are doing. I don't.

When they laugh I don't get the reason. When they cry, I still don't understand.

When they get angry, I am amazed that they can feel so much.

For the most part I am just numb. Nothing seems to get me to feel anything.

Am I crazy? Perhaps.

How can they feel so much passion? They have it for everything, a new game, a new movie, a new girlfriend. You name it. But nothing stirs my blood, while everything has an effect on them. They are like the morning rays of the sun, bright orange, and even if they do not last long, you can feel the passion, the fire that they possess. Even after they fade, their image is burned into my eyes for a while.

I wonder if it's a good thing I don't feel? They always have something going on. I would not care for that.

Maybe I will hate it? Nah.

I can never care enough to even get more than slightly annoyed.

They all want something. Some even have a life goal set. My best friend wants to be a vet. I think he will be happy. Am I happy for him? I am not sure. I guess I am.

I wonder what it feels like to want something so desperately that you can think of nothing else. I wonder what it feels like to be wanted that way?

I think that is what I want. For someone to see only me. Just me.

I heard the saying, "to the world you may just be somebody, but to somebody you may be the world." I want to find that somebody.

No, thats not right. I want them to find me.

Please find ME! I don't want to wait. I want you here. But in my current world of gray I can't even make myself look for you.

I am filled with apathy. I want to leave it behind, and actually care.

Ah.. maybe thats what I care about?

Who knows... Just hurry up and come to me. Since I have nothing else, I will believe in fate, and I will be believe in you.

"Hi!" I looked up to see the bright smile, on the face of a beautiful brunette.

I nodded. Inside I smiled. I think I had just found my own orange rays of the morning sun, and I believe that these will never fade.

Author Note: So did you guys like it? I am considering writing a second chapter, but that'll depend on what sort of a response this one gets.