A/N: Er, yeah. Made for pure lolz. Enjoy!
What's In a Name
"You want to name him after the school slogan?!"
The scene was horrific in nature; the once grand entrance hall overflowing with boxes of all shapes and sizes, each wrapped in hideous shades of cream, pink and baby blue. Even the house elves had gone into hiding, fearing to risk their master's wrath (of course, it was altogether likely that the dirty creatures had gotten lost within the many, many parcels).
Narcissa seemed not to notice her husband as he hovered behind her, an aghast look on his face. Instead, she carried on cooing at her large, rounded stomach, rubbing her hands over her front periodically.
"It's a fine, strong name," she said, grinning down at her unborn baby boy.
"No! Absolutely not!" cried Lucius. "Draco? That's – Merlin, that's such a pansy name!"
"Pot. Kettle."
"I had no choice in the matter!" His white-blond hair was falling out of its tail, haphazardly framing his face in the same frenzied manner that bore his countenance. "No son of mine will be named 'Draco Malfoy'. Can't we just call him something normal? What about Daniel? Ben? Benjamin Malfoy has a nice ring to it."
Narcissa gave a rather unlady-like snort, flicking her long blonde hair over her shoulder with a huff. "Dear, do please cease that incessant whining. If the founders felt the name was good enough for their institution, we have no right to say otherwise."
"They named their school after a pock-marked walking bacon!"
"It's a dragon, sweetie. Dragons are big, strong and fierce," a strange look overcame her as she stared back down at her belly, cradling it in her hands as she lost herself in a world of her own. "Isn't that right my lovely wovely baby boo? Who's a big strong dragon? Who's going to burn all those nasty wasty muggle wuggle bloods?"
Watching the mother of his child babbling like an idiot, Lucius knew that he'd never had a say in the matter to begin with. "Thank Merlin," he muttered under his breath, "That the woman at least won't name him after my Uncle. That Scorpius was a nutter."