Married Life

by The Utensils

Gellert Grindelwald has had enough of his wife, so he decied to return home to his aunt. When he gets to his aunt's house, a pleasent surprise awaits him.

Married life was tough for Gellert Grindelwald. It was especially tough being married to a dragon. He wasn't married to just any dragon, he was married to a female one. To get over his love for Albus, Grindelwald decided to marry a dragon because dragons were the hottest things he could think of. He knew if anything could quench his needs, it would be to get himself a nice piece of dragon ass. So he went and bought himself a dragon named Norbert, only to realize that Norbert was actually Norberta! He hated his wife! She was so evil! Plus he had the sneaking suspicion that his wife was having an affair with her Dragon Tamer, Charlie. Gellert had given his wife so many chances too! Every morning he would greet his wife in a very loving way, but the only response he would ever receive is a snort or a face full of flames. Finally, after Gellert had had enough, he decided to return to Godric's Hollow.

When he returned, his favorite Aunt was waiting for him. She kissed him on the cheek and embraced him like a brother.
"You don't look well," Grindelwald told her.

"I have looked worse, believe me," his aunt replied. "Blah blah blah Lily blah blah blah. I cannot stand my wife and kid."

"What are you talking about?" Grindelwald asked. "What wife and kid? You don't have a wife and kid!"

"Yes, I do, unfortunately" said Bathilda. "And do not say 'don't.'"

"Who are you and what have you done with Bathilda Bagshot!?!?" asked Grindelwald.

"It is I, Remus John Lupin," said Bathilda Bagshot who actually wasn't even Bathilda Bagshot but really Remus John Lupin.

"Merlin's beard! You look just like my Aunt! I knew I should have never broken out of wizard prison! All these people keep on fooling me! Why do I always think women are men and men are women!?! It's so depressing being a gay escaped convict!"
"Blah blah Blah Lily… Wait, did you say you are a gay escape d convict?" asked Bathilda Bagshot who actually wasn't even Bathilda Bagshot but really Remus John Lupin. "I love gay escaped convicts!"

"And we're both married gay guys who hate our wives!" Grindelwald added excitedly. And so Grindelwald left his dragon wife Norberta and took over the world with his sexy new lover Bathilda Bagshot who actually wasn't even Bathilda Bagshot but really Remus John Lupin.

"I approve," said Harry Potter who thought Grindelwald married his Aunt Bathilda Bagshot, who actually wasn't even Bathilda Bagshot but really Remus John Lupin.