Transformers: The Long Goodbye

Chapter 1

By Justin Swartz

robojammies

Author's Note:

This story takes place after the events of Transformers: The Movie, but before the start of Season 3 of the G1 cartoon, so it has a nice mix of old & new bots in there.

Disclaimer:

The Transformers & all related characters are copyright Hasbro/Sunbow Entertainment/IDW. I do not own them, as this work is purely non-profit & fan-based fiction.

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A wide shot of a greenish nebula in outer space.

NARRATOR: It is the year 2007.

COSMOS, the flying saucer Autobot, is in the center of the nebula in saucer mode.

Cosmos floats inside the nebula. A small radar dish is extended from the top of the saucer.

NARRATOR: It's said that, in space, no one can hear you scream.

Cosmos curves through a smoky part of the nebula, his dish still extended.

NARRATOR: This much is known to be true.

Cosmos whips past an asteroid coming from the left edge of the nebula.

NARRATOR: But if we could bend the rules of science for one moment-

NARRATOR: -and listen to the sounds of space-

BLAST-OFF, the Combaticon space shuttle, floats behind the asteroid Cosmos just passed. Blast-Off is in robot mode as he aims his rifle at Cosmos's rear.

NARRATOR: -we would hear-

BLAST-OFF: Gotcha now.

A close-up of Blast-Off's trigger finger as he squeezes the trigger on his rifle.

Blast-Off's rifle beam knocks the dish off Cosmos's saucer.

NARRATOR: -two robots-

BLAST-OFF: TAG! You're it!

NARRATOR: -playing tag?

Blast-Off rests his smoking rifle against the side of his head.

BLAST-OFF: Not bad.

COSMOS: Not good, either.

Blast-Off turns around to see Cosmos behind him, in robot mode, with both arms forward & small energon mini-guns popping out of his forearms.

BLAST-OFF: What the-?!

COSMOS: Go on. Make me say it.

Blast-Off spreads his arms out wide and lifts his chin.

BLAST-OFF: Sure.

BLAST-OFF: Take your best shot, Cosmos.

Cosmos narrows his eyes at Blast-Off.

COSMOS: If you insist, Blast-Off…!

Cosmos unleashes his mini-guns on Blast-Off. They just paint his body yellow, as they're loaded with paint rounds.

COSMOS: Tag! You're it!

BLAST-OFF: Lovely.

Cosmos and Blast-Off are in their respective alt modes as they travel toward a reddish planet in the distance.

COSMOS: I think we're tied now, aren't we?

BLAST-OFF: Nah. I'm still winning.

A shot from the side of Cosmos & Blast-Off as they travel through space. Their insignias are conspicuously absent.

COSMOS: Are you daft? We're tied! We've always been tied!

BLAST-OFF: Nope. Still the winner, right here.

Cosmos kicks in his boosters. Blast-Off does the same. They rocket toward the planet.

COSMOS: All right then! First one back to Agros Seven evens the ante!

BLAST-OFF: You are so on.

Cosmos and Blast-Off have left the camera in the dust.

COSMOS: I'm so glad I signed up for deep space duty.

BLAST-OFF: Ditto. Autobots? Decepticons? Who needs 'em?

COSMOS: Couldn't agree more!

We're now outside The Seven Stars Cantina on Agros Seven. The building is made of hardened clay & stone, and done up in reddish tones.

Push through the door & inside the cantina as various aliens, both organic & mechanical, mingle with each other. Cosmos sits at a round table in the left corner, while Blast-Off stands at the bar and looks at him, holding up two fingers. The Bartender, BELLE, is a blue-skinned hunanoid alien with a bald head, a long ponytail-style entrail that comes off the back of her skull, and enough cleavage to knock a horse over.

BLAST-OFF: Two of the usual, Belle.

BELLE: Comin' right up, sugah.

BLAST-OFF: Hey, when are we gonna get hitched?

BELLE: The day you come out of that big suit and sho-yo-self.

BLAST-OFF: Heh. Serves me right for askin'.

Belle serves up our heroes' drinks. Blast-Off carries two highballs of purple energon to Cosmos's table. Belle leans over the counter and studies Blast-Off's rear end.

BELLE: Damn, that's a nice ass.

BLAST-OFF: You say somethin', Belle?

BELLE: I said Damn, you're fat!

BLAST-OFF: Huh! I'll bet.

Blast-Off sits down across from Cosmos with his drink. Cosmos studies the energon inside his drink for a moment.

COSMOS: Don't you ever wonder?

BLAST-OFF: Like when Belle is going to figure out that we're not tiny men in big robot suits? Oh, all the time.

COSMOS: No, Blast-Off…

Cosmos looks at Blast-Off through the energon in his glass.

COSMOS: ...I mean, don't you ever wonder about our comrades?

COSMOS: On Cybertron...on Earth...and on the Moon?

COSMOS: Doesn't it bother you that we're out here playing tag every day-

Blast-Off holds up a hand as he lifts his glass up for a toast.

COSMOS: -while everyone else might be-

BLAST-OFF: Hold that thought.

BLAST-OFF: I'd like a toast first.

Cosmos lifts his glass for a toast. So does Blast-Off.

COSMOS: I'm serious, Blast-Off.

BLAST-OFF: So am I.

Cosmos and Blast-Off clink glasses.

COSMOS: Here's to not worrying.

BLAST-OFF: I'll drink to that.

Cosmos & Blast-Off down their drinks in one long gulp, then slam their glasses down on the table.

COSMOS: Delicious!

BLAST-OFF: That's the stuff!

Cosmos extends a hand toward Blast-Off to plead his case. Blast-Off puts his hands behind his head and leans back in his chair.

COSMOS: But I'm serious! Don't you ever-

BLAST-OFF: Nope. Not once since we got here.

Cosmos looks surprised.

COSMOS: Really? Why's that?!

Blast-Off looks up at the ceiling.

BLAST-OFF: Because, Cosmos! We're five million whatever years from Cybertron, and no one but us could make this trip!

BLAST-OFF: Besides, we've been at this for how long?

BLAST-OFF: What could possibly go wrong?

Pull out from Cosmos and Blast-Off's table to the center of the cantina as a large Decepticon falls through the ceiling and flattens a table beneath him.

Cosmos and Blast-Off stand from their seats and peer over at the Decepticon. It's OCTANE, the Decepticon triple-changer, who is really banged up, smoldering, and missing some parts, which are scattered across the cantina's floor.

COSMOS: Is that-?

BLAST-OFF: Octane? Yep.

Octane uses his left arm to sit himself up and looks right at Cosmos and Blast-Off.

OCTANE: You...too...Blast...Off…?

OCTANE: Everyone...a...traitor…!

Octane uses his right arm to raise his rifle at Blast-Off.

OCTANE: All...traitors...must...die…!

Cosmos looks at Blast-Off.

COSMOS: You had to ask, didn't you?

Blast-Off face-palms.

BLAST-OFF: Looks like we've got some explainin' to do…

To Be Continued!

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Thanks for reading the story! I hope you enjoyed it. If you have any questions, comments, or just want to chat about G1 Transformers (I do not discuss the Bayformers or the live-action movies), feel free to e-mail me here at robojammies .

Be sure to check out my other 2 TF fanfics, Generation Gap and All That Glitters Is Not Gold. The first features Elita-One & the female Autobots duking it out against Rodimus Prime and his crew, while the other story features Octopunch as a treasure diver with a sexy redheaded diving partner who discovers an ancient artifact that may or may not be a Decepticon Matrix. Check out my profile to read those if you're interested, as feedback is always appreciated.

Time to roll out!

-Justin A. Swartz