Nana: So...uh...howdy. I'm just posting this because I felt like posting something. If you don't completely understand, I'm sorry. But it's meant to make you fill in blanks and use your imagination. It's choppy for a reason. Enjoy ;) .
Naminé was singing to herself again. Sora could hear it from her living room, even with the TV at half-volume. He smiled, muting his television. He got up and drifted towards the kitchen.
Sora loved it. Sometimes he heard it in his dreams, usually when he and Naminé both felt brave enough to sleep in the same bed. His arm would be around her waist, his knees pressing under hers. He'd be drifting off, just starting to dream.
And then she'd sing. Or she'd hum, but she'd eventually begin to sing, wafting over his sleeping mind like a cool hand on his forehead, or a comforting kiss. A few chords and phrases and he was out, peaceful and in a dead sleep for quite some time.
Leaning against the door-frame in the kitchen, he watched Naminé shape cookie dough with star shaped cut-outs. The sun was pouring into the kitchen, revealing the little dust motes that surrounded Naminé. She, of course, didn't notice, lifting her voice to a higher note, grinning wide when she hit it perfectly.
She turned, tray in hand, popping them into the oven. It took her a few moments for to realize Sora was standing there, watching her with a dazed look on her face.
"Sora! I-I thought you were in the living room! You scared the crap out of me." She frowned a little, and her face flushed. Without a word, Sora ambled over to her, slipping his lips on hers. Pulling back, he kept his eyes closed.
"Continue. Please. I love your voice." He whispered against her forehead. It took her a moment, but Naminé nodded. She wrapped her arms around him—she rested her head on his chest. She sang to him.
And in that instant, Sora realized he loved his girlfriend much more than he originally thought.
--
"Sora, I don't know…I mean, I don't…I don't think I want us to live together." Naminé put her pen down as she clasped her hands together, looking up at Sora.
"But, it makes sense, doesn't it? I mean, we're starting our sophomore year at RGU come next fall. We're always spending the night at each other's houses, we've already got jobs; and I know this place—"
"Just not…not right now, okay? I'm not ready for that." She grabbed his hand. "Please?"
Sora nodded. "…Yeah, alright. I understand. I don't want to do anything you don't want to."
"Thank you; it means a lot to me. Don't worry," she stood up and kissed his frown away, "I love you Sora. Don't ever doubt that."
"Never have, never will. I love you too."
--
"Naminé…this is so hard…" Sora realized a tear had escaped his from eye. Unnerved, he quickly rubbed it away. He felt so damn emotional now. Without Naminé. She was always the rational one who put him at ease.
"I know, I know. But, Sora, this is the opportunity of my dreams. A study abroad program that I don't have to pay for? It's…it's amazing that I even got this chance…"
"Mm. Yeah. Amazing." He grumbled back. He tried swallowing back the lump in his throat.
"I miss you so much though Sora. I really wish you got invited. You would have loved London."
"And Ireland. And Egypt. And Africa—"
"I get it," she laughed, though it was short lived. "I know it's hard. But we're still alive, right? We can get through this."
"Yeah. Look, Naminé, when you get back…" Sora paused.
"Hmm? When I get back…?"
"Do you…are you still sure you don't want to move in together?"
There was silence on the other end of the line. Sora was afraid that would happen. He had asked at the beginning of the semester of their freshman year, and now, at the start of their first sophomore semester…. It wasn't enough time? Why would she want to hold back? Sora just didn't understand—they were in love.
Weren't they?
Naminé meant so much to him. Best friends since childhood. In love since fifteen. Naminé was someone he needed in his life—she kept him calm, cool, care-free. She took his stress away. She took the entire world away.
So why she just refuse to move in with him?
"I'm still not ready Sora. And…I'm not sure if it'll work out. I mean, how will we get our work done? And you know neither one of us can cook…"
"It'll be just fine. I know it. We can focus on school and each other no problem. And I'll take cooking classes if I have to! I'm willing to make this work." He heard her chuckle a little, and a smile swept onto his face.
"Sora, let me think on it, okay?"
"'Kay. Lo—"
"Naminé! Get off the phone! C'mon you're going to miss the Eiffel Tower!" Sora could hear voices on the other end of the line. He didn't recognize any of them, only Naminé's when she left him a rushed goodbye. In an instant, the line was dead.
--
"What the hell Naminé?! He's who you left me for?! Him?!"
"And what is that supposed to mean?"
"Naminé?!" Sora ignored Roxas. He only saw her.
"Sora, you don't understand. There was too much pressure…"
"From who? Your dad? Your friends? Your—"
"You!" She shouted, tears springing into her eyes. Sora was shocked to see her so angry, and crying. "You are so perfect, Sora! You are made of gold—you can do no wrong! And it was crushing me Sora. I felt like I couldn't breathe…I just couldn't deal with it. You wanted us to move in, to be together all the time, to be such a perfect little couple, but I couldn't handle that. I'm not…I'm not…"
Sora stared at her. He was completely dumbstruck. She was right. He didn't understand. He didn't understand one bit. How in the world was he perfect? He wasn't—not in the slightest. He was weak, very weak, and if Naminé could just see that—
"Roxas, let's just go." Naminé tugged the blond man's hand, staring intensely at the floor, wiping away her tears. Her boyfriend didn't even nod, but just let himself be led. He didn't spare Sora another glance, and neither did Naminé.
Right there, in the middle of the movie theater, Sora fell to his knees. He didn't even realize it but tears fell fast and hard down his face. It felt like his heart—god, he didn't even know how to explain, where to start. It just hurt. Hurt real, fucking bad.
"What happened to us Naminé?"
--
Sora stopped dead in his tracks. He was sure that if he tried to take another step, he'd break into thousands of pieces…or at least, his heart would. Any closer to her, and he'd…he'd…
Riku's heavy hand on his shoulder jolted Sora out of his head, though his eyes remained on the two in front of him.
"Sor? You going to be okay?"
"…Y-yeah. I'll be fine." He straightened his back, curling one hand into a fist. He couldn't let them—her—stop his life from moving. He had to move. He had to move on.
"Roxas! Nonononooooo! Please, put me down! Axel—tell him to put me down! Roxas!" Naminé shrieked over Roxas's shoulder from just a few feet in front Sora and Riku. The blonde boy simply ignored her, continuing his conversation with a tall redhead beside him.
With burning, throbbing eyes, Sora watched the two blondes laugh and kiss and laugh again. It was like watching himself, not that long ago, except…with the wrong laughter coming out of the wrong guy.
"Sora…" Riku had that tone in his voice. That tone that Sora had to hear whenever he got close to puking, or his knees giving out on him. The brunet man nodded. He cleared his throat and forced his feet to move forward.
"I just…hehe, I just didn't expect it to hurt this much, you know?" He tried to smile, but it ached to. So he dropped it as he looked at the floor.
"You're being strong Sora. You are trying to get over her instead of being in denial. You can move on, Sora. You will."
"Yeah…" he said weakly. As if on cue, Naminé's laughter trilled through the air once again, followed by a quick "Rox—mmph…"
He heard Riku growl beside him. Sora knew. He knew exactly what that cut off shout meant. But he looked up anyway.
--
"I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM!" She screamed, suddenly lifting her cell phone and throwing it far across the room. Sora heard it hit the wall with a quick crack but Naminé did even seem to notice. He turned to find it fallen in to pieces, then faced the girl once again, who was in the exact same position as the phone.
"That bastard! He lied to me, Sora! He lied! He-he—!" Naminé covered her mouth as the tears began to fall. Sora felt his limbs move completely on their own. At once he was at her side, scooping her into his arms—like so many times before—and cradling her in them. But she had just enough space to beat his chest with her fists.
"He doesn't love me!" She cried. He could feel her hot tears seep into his sweater. "He said he did…he said he'd n-never—"
She paused. Sora realized she couldn't speak. As enraged as Naminé was, she just couldn't get her words past the sadness in her heart. She fought to speak, choking on her sobs, lashing her head side to side. After wheezing several times, she crumpled onto the floor.
Sora fell with her, comforting her only because he knew how much he wanted to be held when Naminé left him.
--
She just stared out the door. Stared and stared and stared. He doubted Roxas would walk back in that door. If the word around school was true, then Roxas was long gone, somewhere in Twilight Town, soaking up the sun with his newest girl.
He realized she needed love right now. Love and attention, and something to distract her. But it killed him to hold her, to be there for her, to hear her utter a name in so longingly when it wasn't his own. And in a sick kind of way, he couldn't get away from her. He was slowly crawling right back to square one, right back to Naminé.
Riku was obviously pissed off with him when Sora called, "You were holding up so well Sora. Don't let yourself fall again. You're already spending the night at her house. That's pushing it, and you know that. You need to let her handle it on her own."
"I wish I could Riku." Sora smiled weakly into the phone, watching Naminé sleep. "But…my heart knows what it wants."
"Sora, she broke your heart," Riku seethed, making Sora close his eyes. "You're honestly going to trust her with it again? Won't your relationship just go back to exactly where it was before?"
"No. I'm just…Look, I completely understand what she's feeling. I know how to help her."
"You're still healing Sora."
"Yeah. And she could do it all over again, and I'd still help her in the end. Its how I feel and I won't change. She needs me. I'm not going to let her down."
"…Whatever you say Sora. Call me when you need the Band-Aids again."
Click.
Sora let out a heavy sigh. He placed the phone next to him, rubbing his face with the other hand. He shuffled through the house until he was the living room, where he fell face first into the couch, desperately asking the night to bring him peaceful dreams.
--
"…Sora, what happened to us?"
"You know what happened." He almost snapped back, glancing at her as she stared at the ceiling, her hands clutching the bed sheets.
"Do you think…that maybe we'll be able to fix this?"
"Maybe. I don't have the answers. Not all of them. But I'd like to believe that we can get through this."
"…Okay."
There was a long silence. Sora was pretty sure Naminé had finally drifted off to sleep. That was good—she wasn't getting enough sleep these nights. He lifted himself off the bed, making his way towards the door.
"Sora?"
"Yeah?" He looked over his shoulder at the lump within the covers.
"I'm sorry. I don't blame you if you hate me right now."
"I don't hate you Naminé. I never could, even if I wanted to." Sora closed the door behind him.
Inspiration from Savior - Rise Against.