Gender Bender
After reading oh so many Genderswitch/fem!Tsuna fics, it suddenly struck me... why is it only ever Tsuna that accidentally gets hit by the new Genderswitch bullet/machine /whatever? And of course one I started thinking about it, it wouldn't damn well leave me alone. So left with little other choice, I bated my plotbunny trap with a pink carrot and awaited to see what kind of genderswitch bunnies I could find lurking out there. As you can imagine, I was pretty damn surprised by the sheer variety of neglected Generswitch rabbits hopping around. I think it's about time that the poor things were given some love, no?
Series Warning: This series will contain swearing, sexual references, gratuitous violence, utter pointlessness and enough crack to kill a man.
Still interested? Good show!
Just for the record, although I'm posting all of these fics under the one title as a booklet, they are stand alone fics. I.e. just cause someone has been feminised in one, does not mean it ever happened in another. The same plot device will be used in each to explain the sudden genderswitch. This will be explained in the first ficlet, but probably only alluded to from there on in. Basically Giannini has been messing around with Reborn's gun/dying will bullets. Good times.
Oh, one other thing, you might notice that the gender changed individual will change between being referred to as him/her. This will be reflective of who's POV it is and how confused they are on the matter. In the first one, you'll notice that Squalo is having a hellish time deciding on which to use...
And I'm open for suggestions if there is any particular fem!character (or manself if you prefer) you'd like to see!
Now, let the nonsense roll!
Victim one: Xanxus
Xanxus was not a happy man.
That much was obvious to everyone unfortunate to currently reside in the Varia castle. In fact, were one feeling particularly suicidal, one could actually point out that at this particular moment in time, Xanxus was not a man at all.
Of course, although the Varia may consist of individuals of severely questionable sanity, fortunately none of them were that crazy. Yet.
So for the sake of our necks we will continue with the idiom.
The reason Xanxus was not a happy man?
Well, the source was no great surprise. Sawada Tsunayoshi and his group of brats.
Actually, reflected Squalo in a rare moment of fairness, it was really more to do with that sadistic Arcobaleno tutor of his.
And that fuckwit Giannini of course.
But as far as Xanxus was concerned, Tsuna may as well have been the one to tinker with the baby's gun. And the one to have cocked up his aim when trying to shoot the brat with a 'new and improved dying will bullet'.
Of course, like his current... predicament... no-one would mention that it also wouldn't have happened if Xanxus hadn't been trying to ram his flame of wrath through said brat at the time.
But try telling Xanxus that.
So. All Tsuna's fault it was then.
Of course, whoever-the hells fault it was didn't really change Squalo's current highly fucked up situation.
And of course, what with everyone else being the useless shitheads that they were, and Xanxus himself having the emotional range of a five year old and so restricted to throwing violent tantrums and drinking himself into a stupor, that naturally left Squalo to be the one to actually have to deal with this shit.
As fucking always.
Biting back a sigh, the Varia commander leaned against the door frame of Xanxus' suite, silently looking over his drunken, bad tempered boss.
Though the bullet had undoubtedly altered his appearance, Squalo couldn't help but be surprised by how recognisable Xanxus still was.
The same scars still littered his face. His hair, although slightly longer, was still the same inky black in its usual messy, razored style, complete with feathers and racoon tail ornaments. His lean body still held the same feline grace that it always had, even if it was somewhat shorter and slighter than normal. And his eyes... they had not changed at all. The same blood red that burned with rage.
Yes still undoubtedly Xanxus.
But in some ways that almost made the things that had changed all the more apparent.
A full red pout where there should have been narrow lips pulled into a sneer. A dainty chin and slender neck where there should have been a strong jaw and chorded muscle.
And most noticeably, where there should have been the flat hard planes of a man's body, had been altered into feminine curves.
On seeing his boss was still oblivious to his presence (he could tell because Xanxus appeared to be absorbed in playing with his new breasts... a sight that sent a jolt straight to the swordman's groin...), Squalo allowed himself the chance to trail his eyes over his superior's attributes.
Xanxus was hardly the most curvaceous woman out there. But then given his lifestyle, that was no real surprise. The curves were there in the right places, sure, but they lacked any of the softness that Squalo usually associated with women. Instead his body had remained hard and taught with wiry muscle.
Rounded breasts sat high on his (her?) slim chest (currently being squeezed experimentally in petite, elegant hands). The lean, flat stomach tapered into a narrow waist before fairing briefly into the muscular curves of an athlete's hips and tight ass and carrying on into long, shapely legs.
And fuck. If Xanxus had one thing to feel proud of in his new body, it was those damn legs of his. Not that his tits and ass were anything to be ashamed of, but those legs... better than he'd seen on a (real) woman in a long time. And wasn't it just his damn luck that Squalo was a leg man?
Shit, it was hard not to get carried away, thinking of running his hands up those shapely limbs. Of them wrapping around his hips while he...
Damn it. Enough of that. If he carried on down that road he was going to get a boner. And if Xanxus saw him staring at him/her with a hard on, he was going to get a bullet through his skull. End of discussion.
So, yeah. It was also an undoubtedly feminine body, (his own physical reaction to it was testimony enough to that fact) but it was not one of your typical fragile Princess. It belonged to a predator.
If anything Xanxus was a tigress.
There was a part of Squalo (largely situated between his legs) that was rapidly coming to wish that Xanxus had been born a female. Cause just imagining a chick doing all the shit that Xanxus did was kinda like one of his wet dreams come to life.
Then again, the rest of him quickly reminded it exactly what he had been forced to endure a few weeks ago when Xanxus had discovered the joys of PMS and menstruation.
The only reason that Squalo and the others had survived at all is because Reborn had seen fit to send Bianchi over to visit for a while to help Xanxus adjust to his new predicament.
Thank God she had introduced them to the magic of chocolate. Apparently a PMSing female went through it the way Xanxus usually went through alcohol.
And it hurt less to have thrown at your head than a whisky glass. Which in Squalo's mind, was always a plus.
The meanderings of the sharks mind were abruptly brought to a halt when he noticed that one of his Boss's hands had stopped their activities to slide slowly down the expanse of taught skin exposed by her unbuttoned shirt and begin to loosen her belt.
Oh shit. Suddenly the clothing on his lower half was feeling that bit tighter. Definitely time to announce himself unless he wanted a painful death later.
"Vooi!" he growled out, internally praying that Xanxus didn't hear the husky edge to his voice.
Red eyes flickered open and lazily swept over to where he stood as her hands paused in their activities.
"The fuck do you want, trash?" the low purr of a female voice, slurred slightly with alcohol (apparently Xanxus' new body lacked his previous tolerance to the stuff. Then again, all that really did was making her getting smashed all the easier.)
Scowling, Squalo stalked into the room, coming to a halt in front of the throne like chair that now looked more oversized than ever next to Xanxus' new petite frame.
"You're the one that sent for me, dumbass!" the swordman snarled irately, cursing his luck that his superior was apparently already too drunk to even remember that fact.
Snorting inelegantly at the accusation, Xanxus rolled over to face his right hand man, allowing his unbuttoned, black silk Armani shirt to slide from his shoulders, fully exposing his new... attributes.
'Fuck, fuck, FUCK! Don't look down don't look down, don't look do... SHIT.'
"The hell aren't you wearing any of the shit Bianchi picked up for you?" was all Squalo (oh so intelligently) could think to say.
It probably didn't help that he couldn't bring himself to lift his gaze from the forbidden territory, or that he was now imagining his own hands mimicking the motions Xanxus had been making just minutes ago.
Still. It was a legitimate question. As well as answering any questions and dealing with the afore mentioned hormone induced madness, Bianchi had been in charge of buying Xanxus a new wardrobe. Which included amongst other things female underclothes.
Female underclothes that, if her naked breasts and the small curls of dark hair that were just visible where she had started to unzip her leather trousers were anything to go by, Xanxus clearly felt no need to wear.
Figures the bastard would go commando even as a chick.
A mocking smirk stole over her features at the blatant lust in his tone. Apparently he sucked at hiding it even more than he thought. But come on. He had just walked in on his suddenly hot as shit boss giving him his very own soft-core porn show, learned that she wasn't wearing fucking panties, and expected to stand here and have a normal conversation while she lay there with her tits out?
The only reason he wasn't hard right now was the knowledge of what he was certain she would do to him if she noticed.
Oh crap. That's actually pretty hot too...
"Like what you see scum?" she sneered, ignoring his previous question in favour of resuming the fondling of her breasts. This time however her eyes remained locked on his face.
Swallowing audibly, Squalo squeezed his eyes shut and tried to calm his breathing.
"What'd you want me for?" he ground out as he forcibly reigned in his raging libido. He was not going to start playing whatever fucked up game Xanxus had in mind. Better to stick to business.
Letting out a frustrated snarl, Xanxus surged upright from her chair and was in front of him in an instance.
The sharp elbow to the gut, knee that smashed into his face, and strong kick to the side that sent him crashing into the newly vacated seat told him that the gender change had done nothing to diminish either his boss' infamous temper or his raw power.
The shark had just started to struggle upright, his bleeding face twisted in fury, when she was on him again, her legs thrown either side of his hips and her hands fisted in his shirt as she dragged him up to face her.
"I said do you like what you see, you fucking worthless piece of trash!" she spat, the sweet smell of bourbon wafting off her breath.
Baring his teeth in an aggressive manner, Squalo had just been about to try to drag his mind back together enough to offer a scathing retort (and not think about the pretty half naked woman that was virtually sitting on his dick. Definitely not.) when he was prevented from doing so by soft lips smashing violently into his own.
Shocked beyond belief, Squalo could only blink as his boss continued her assault on his mouth, lips soon giving way to tongue and teeth as he sat bemused. It was only the accompanying roll of her hips that finally made him really register his position. Eyes widening, the pinned swordmaster, let out a low groan as she rubbed herself over his lap, before instinctively snaking his arms around her waist and pulling her harder down on his crotch, letting her feel exactly how much he'd enjoyed the view as his tongue began fighting with her own.
The lustful haze that Squalo had fallen in was abruptly disturbed as Xanxus broke the kiss, drawing back with a harsh bark of laughter.
"So that'll be a fucking yes, then?" she sneered down at him.
Eyes flashing in a combination of embarrassment and anger, Squalo snarled wordlessly in return.
'Fuck, fuck, fuck!'
This was not a good position to be in. At best, Xanxus was now going to kick him out and proceed to laugh her ass off at how fucking pathetic he was, all hard and desperate for her. For days. At worst she was going to fly into one of her drunken rages and try to kill him for looking in the first place.
Not good in the slightest.
So busy was he in tensing for the next attack (verbal or otherwise), the silver haired male was taken by surprise when instead the lips simply moved to bite and lick their way down his neck and her hips began to grind deliciously down onto him as her hands moved to start undoing his belt buckle.
"Wha..?" panted Squalo, his voice sounding strangled to even his own ears as he fought the waves of pleasure that was rippling through him at the dual sensations. "What the fuck are you doing?"
Growling her annoyance with the interruption, Xanxus stopped her assault on his neck, lifting her head to meet his confused gaze.
The shark was shocked to see a mixture of frustration and arousal in those ruby depths.
"What the fuck does it look like I am doing you fucking idiot? I'm god damn horny as fuck, and guess what? Apparently girls don't fucking do it for me anymore!"
Squalo blinked.
Oh.
Oh.
Well shit. Xanxus really was a chick now, wasn't she?
No wonder she was acting so messed up.
"So," purred the dark haired female, reminding him of the situation at hand with another roll of her hips, causing him to bite his tongue to stop from moaning aloud. "That means that you're going to have to do instead. Any fucking complaints?"
As she spoke she had apparently been continuing working on his belt buckle. A fact that came all too obvious when nimble fingers unfastened his zip and slid in to wrap firmly around his manhood.
Blue eyes dilating with lust, Squalo stopped his fight to hold back the sounds of his arousal, instead choosing to answer her question by pulling her down into another fierce kiss, his hands running over those glorious legs of hers.
Absolutely no fucking complaints at all.
Weeks later Squalo would reflect on how that one stupid faulty dying will bullet was possibly the best damn thing that ever happened to him.
Turns out that Xanxus is much easier to deal with when you know that she was going to be fucking your brains out later.
Remind him to send Giannini a thank you card.
Yeah. So. This is what I genuinely think would happen if Xanxus became a female. Poor guy. First he has to deal with being a woman, complete with the joys of periods, underwire and lace (can you blame him for going commando?), then he finds out that apparantly he is a straight woman.
Thats gotta suck.
So he did what any self respecting mafioso would do in his situation. He got drunk. Played with himself a bit. Then raped his second in command. Cause Squalo is HOT. And they are totally married anyway. ^^
So like? Dislike? Got any particular character that you would like to see humiliated beyond belief? Let me know and I'll see what I can do to accommodate! And remember: Reviews feed starving authors.