Shattered

She doesn't understand why she is there. She stares up at the manor, not moving despite the rain that continues to fall from the heavens. Finally, she reaches for the doorknob and pushes open the door. The scent of mold creeps into her nose as she enters the main hall, the crunch of rubble beneath her boots echoing off of the walls. Her feet guide her up the rotting stairs, which groan with every step she takes.

Finally, she reaches the landing. Doubt claws at her gut as she nears the giant oak door, her heart pounding against her ribcage. Swallowing her fears, she raises her hand to knock on the door which swings open mere seconds before she can do anything.

"Hawke," His voice is coated in the ever present ice, "I see you've returned from the deep roads unscathed."

Unscathed? Hardly. "Carver's dead."

She produces the blade from the folds of her robes, still stained crimson with the blood of her brother. Instantly his face swims before her eyes, pale and shining with sweat, begging her to end it.

"It was that damned dwarf,"she says, pushing past him, "We were stranded down there for Maker knows how long. The darkness alone was enough to drive you sodding mad but the fucking darkspawn...they kept coming at us... it was only a matter of time before it happened."

Tears fall freely now, choaking her as she continues, "The damned Taint. I think we all knew the moment it happened but I was so sure that we would make it out in time. Even when Anders tried to help...Maker forgive me, I was too stupid and proud to listen-"

The blade sinks into the back of a chair when she hurls it away from her. He doesn't even flinch, just stares at her as her words hang in the air between them. It seems like hours before he breaks the silence.

"Why come to me," his words are coiled as he starts to pace, "why not run to that mage you're so fond of?"

She shakes her head. Anders is the last person she wants to see right now. She doesn't want his kind words, doesn't want to feel his gentle hands coaxing the bruises from her body while deep inside his mind he is blaming her. No, what she needs tonight is very different.

When she doesn't answer him, her takes her by the arm and pulls her to her feet. She looks up, golden brown eyes meeting mossy green as she silently pleads with him. She knows that he sees something in her eyes when he releases her and turns away.

"Go home Hawke."

"Fenris, wait."

She reaches out and grabs him by the shoulder. His tattoos flare as he rounds on her, gripping her by the shoulders. The wounds on her arms cry out in protest as he pushes her into the wall, a small gasp of pain escaping her lips. He looms over her, his eyes narrowed. She defiantly meets his gaze. He looks away, shuts his eyes tight as a conflict rages in his mind. When they open again, his gaze hardens before he crushes his mouth against hers.

He is far from gentle in the way he handles her and there is no underlying tenderness as he lifts her from the ground with one hand while the other tangles itself in her hair, yanking back her head as his teeth scrape against her neck. She whimpers as his grip tightens, her nails digging into his shoulders.

She cries out when he enters her, nails digging into the back of his neck as her hips buck against him despite the pain of his gauntlets gripping her thighs and the broken Tevinter being growled into her ear. He is raw and unapologetic and exactly what she needs.

A unified groan of ecstacy signals the end of this encounter. He lowers her back to the ground as they both fight to catch their breath. She adjusts her robes, pushing the hair out of her eyes. She glances over a t him and the look on his face sends her reeling.

"Fenris,"she reaches out to brush a stray hair from his eyes "I'm sorry..I-"

"Used me? I already knew that Hawke,"He growls, pushing her hand away, "Just go."

"Fenris-"

"Go home Hawke."

Tears pricking her eyes, she nods and heads out of the door.