He Never Told Me - Scomiche

by melodiousbliss

'Coronary Artery heart disease'. Sounds terrifying, right? Mitch never told Scott that he was diagnosed with this illness, however. This eventually leads to more events that impact Scott's life.

I just wish I could relive the previous month again. Everything was perfectly fine at the time.

But now, a piece of me was missing. My other half was gone. There was no way to bring him back either. My aching heart was craving for the love of my significant other. But he's gone now.

Last month brought so many amazing memories to me. Mitch and I took a road trip from Los Angeles, California all the way to our hometown, Arlington, Texas. We spent two weeks there enjoying friends and family time. What more could I ask for?

Well, I actually do have a question; Why didn't he tell me that he was suffering through coronary artery heart disease?

I remember the rush of excitement waving through me when I entered the jewelry store. I didn't even care that the worker gave me a look of disgust when I told her that I was going to ask Mitch the special question. Her homophobia was the least of my problems at the moment. The only person on my mind was Mitchell and only Mitchell. But this was a week ago. I was planning on asking him to be my husband today; I was too late.

For the past week, daydreaming was occupying practically all of my thoughts. All of it was just me imagining what my lover would look like as he walked down the aisle. I even wondered what the rest of the band would look like. Avi would probably be tearing up but keeping a serious (and yet happy) face. Kevin isn't quite as emotional as Avi, but he'd probably be holding back his tears if anything. Kirstin, on the other hand, would just be sobbing a waterfall as she continuously would grab tissues from her husband, Jeremy. Then there would be me.

I would just be really into the moment. Maybe Mitch and I were going to lock eyes as he slowly walked towards me. Maybe he would have tears streaming down his rosy cheeks but his beautiful lips would still be curling up in a smile. Maybe I was going to be a mess of tears like Kirstin, but I would have a proud and ecstatic expression on my face. But this dream is now impossible. None of it can ever happen.

Although despite the fact that he never told me that he was in pain, I should've noticed that something was really off about him. I eventually noticed that he was hiding something, but it was too late when the realization came to me.

He seemed to have lost weight, having skinnier arms and legs than before and his cheeks were a bit more hollowed out, exposing his visible cheekbones. Besides the physical changes, he'd acted differently too. Mitch would often leave the house and avoid a lot of my questions. Today, I found out that he was just trying to get multiple doctors' check-ups without me knowing.

It seems like I just care too much about him. A lot of people noticed how much I loved Mitch—even our fans! I've loved him from the start and I never want to stop. But now that he's gone, his spot in my life is empty. I'll always continue to love him, but it'll never be the same again.

This morning, I woke up and was going to roll to my side and cuddle with the small brunette man when the other half of the bed was empty. I quickly got out of bed to check if he was in the kitchen making breakfast; he wasn't.

A wave of panic went through me as I wondered where he had gone at such an early hour. Deciding not to waste time, I picked up my phone to call him.

"Hi, sorry I couldn't pick up your call today, queen," Mitch's feminine voice said through the phone speakers. "Please leave a message and I'll call you back as soon as possible. Thanks!" The familiar-sounding beep was heard but I ended the call without leaving a voicemail.

Practically sprinting around the apartment, I looked in every nook and cranny but was met with the disappointment of not finding Mitch in our shared-home after fifteen minutes of searching.

Maybe I'm just freaking out over nothing, I thought as I took a seat on the couch in the living room. He could be with Kirstie right now or something.

So I went to the bathroom and freshened up for the day before going back to the main room again to try and call Kirstie this time.

I ran a hand through my messy blond hair as I listened quietly to the ringing of my phone. It only took three rings for my friend and band member to pick up her phone.

"Hello?" her voice rang out. "Scott, why aren't you at the hospital with us?"

My heart practically froze at the exact moment that I heard the word 'hospital'. I was too stunned to realize that it was Mitch who was the patient there at the time, however.

"W-why? What happened?" My hands were trembling as I held up my phone to my ear. I swear, our fans are going to be so concerned for us.

"What do you mean? Mitch is here because-wait, you live with him, Scott. Did he not tell you anything?" I shook my head in reply but remembered that she couldn't see me.

"N-no...what's wrong? Please, I don't know what I'd do without Mitch..." My voice was slowly trailing off and becoming nearly inaudible. I wasn't lying to Kirstin; I really don't know what I was going to do if something horrid happened to my other half.

"Come to the hospital. I think it's better if I—well, we—tell you in person."

•~•~•~•

I remember the first sight that I saw of my boyfriend. He was laying silently atop of the colorless hospital bed. He appeared to be hooked up to at least two machines standing on each side of the bed and he was wearing a grey-colored gown. His skin was unhealthily pale and his lips were ghostly white. At the time, he was fast asleep. He would've seemed peaceful if we weren't in such an overwhelming environment.

The rest of the band was here too. If we were closer to Texas, Mitch's family would've been here too. But, we live hundreds of miles away from them, even my own and Kirstie's family too.

Everyone (but Mitch of course) paused their quiet conversation to watch me walk into the small room. Nobody spoke a single word and the beeping of the heart monitor was the only thing heard in the room. It made me feel like I was some sort of supernatural creature that was silently being observed.

My eyes landed on Kirstin after I saw Mitch. It was difficult to read her emotions. We both had a moment of just awkwardly staring at each other. I couldn't tell if she was disappointed, upset, or if she was even feeling any emotions at all towards me.

I scratched the back of my neck nervously as I began to ask, "Am I allowed to know what h-happened now?" Just seeing Mitch in such a state like this frightened me. All I wanted was answers, and that my best friend was okay.

Kirstie sighed and gently held one of my hands, rubbing circles on the back of it. "Mitch...has coronary artery heart disease," she explained quietly. I was starting to feel a lump in my throat begin to form and tears slowly were waiting to pour from my eyes. "He's had this for at least a year now. Did he really not tell you?"

I just wanted to break down right in front of everyone, but I felt too shocked and embarrassed to do so.

"S-Scott?"

I turned around to see the brunette man with his eyes halfway open. I let go of Kirstie's hand to walk over to his side.

"Mitch, w-why didn't you tell me?" My voice cracked halfway through the sentence. I can't remember the last time that I was this emotional over someone that I loved. Even less, over Mitch.

"It's...not a big deal."

"Mitch, this is such a big deal!" I stopped myself for a moment just so I wouldn't yell at him. As much as I was angry, I couldn't let it all out. Not here anyway.

"Scott, please. I didn't want you to worry about me." Mitch began to cough repeatedly and was wheezing for air. It hurt me to see him in such pain.

All of a sudden, the heart monitor made a loud screech. "Oh my god." I muttered to myself. I felt Kirstie pull me into the hallway with Avi and Kevin as I heard footsteps of the workers running to Mitch's room.

I looked back at Mitch one last time to see his eyes closed even further, but not all the way.

"I love you so much." I mumbled towards him. I don't think he heard me though.

•~•~•~•

I don't think I can ever forget the loud noise of the heart monitor. I'll never forget the whole day in the hospital nor the last sight that I saw of Mitch when he was in the hospital bed. This only occurred two weeks ago. Today was Mitchell's funeral.

Once again, the band members were here and some of our family members had flown into the state to join in this sorrowful event.

Tears were constantly shed everywhere I looked. There was nothing but sadness engulfed around me.

Most of the funeral went by like a blur. I didn't want to ever say goodbye to my significant-other this way. I imagined this would happen many years from now. But my best friend and lover was gone too early.

I'll never forget watching the burial. I was crying silently as Mitch was slowly lowered down. He looked so peaceful and still beautiful as ever, but I just wish I could always be with him. It would be a long time until we would reunite happily again.

Kirstin's mascara and eyeshadow was smeared down her cheeks but she didn't care. Mitch was her best friend too and he was gone. I felt her wrap her arms around me in a hug. I held her close, doing my best to comfort her.

Traditional funerals usually had a couple of people go up and say a short message about whoever passed away. But we all agreed that Mitch wouldn't want us to take our time just to say what we loved and will miss about him so we skipped this part.

Eventually, everyone had left except for Pentatonix. Well, minus our missing tenor. We knew he was watching over us though.

We gathered around in a circle and Kevin started a prayer for Mitch. It only took a couple of minutes and the whole time I couldn't take my eyes away from the area that Mitch was resting.

Avi sighed quietly before saying, "We're all going to miss him so much." We all nodded agreeingly silently. The group slowly left without saying goodbye to each other. The only person left was me.

I went to my car to pick up a bouquet of roses to set down in front of the gravestone.

I walked to the spot and knelt down sadly. "Mitch, I love you always and forever. I wish you didn't have to leave so early, but I guess heaven has another angel now."

I wanted to smile but couldn't bring myself to it. A couple more tears dripped down my cheeks before I set down the roses.

In my pocket, I pulled out the silver engagement ring and slipped it around the stems of the flowers.

"Goodbye, for now."

•~•~•~•

"Daddy, do I have to go to school?"

"Yes, princess. Don't worry, aunt Esther and Kirstie will pick you up after school and you'll come to the studio later with me."

My daughter sighed and picked up her little pastel purple backpack before climbing up the stairs of the yellow school bus. She giggled and turned around to blow me a kiss before running off to find a seat with her friends. I chuckled to myself and began to walk back to the house once the bus drove away.

It's been five years since Mitch's passing. I made the decision to adopt a little girl; Elizabeth Kelly Grassi-Hoying. I'm sure Mitch would love her and obsess over her so much if he were here right now. He's probably watching over us though and that's what keeps me from giving up.

Ironically, it's as if she's blood-related to Mitch and I too. She has wavy chocolate-brown hair and dark-colored eyes. Just like Mitch. Her personality is so similar to mine too. She's occasionally shy but outgoing and kind. Lizzie is such a perfect little girl.

I was heading to the recording studios today to meet up with the band for writing 'PTX Vol. VI'. When I had arrived, everyone was already there.

"Y'all actually came early for once." I joked as I took my seat at the long, glass table. Everyone laughed and I caught Esther rolling her eyes.

Our meeting began with a discussion about how many songs we were planning on writing and covering. Then we eventually split up to start brainstorming, practicing covers, etc.

We often have to improvise more than we ever had to before our tenor and my boyfriend passed away. It was difficult to sing songs without a third harmony. This impacted our band in a significant way. Some of our fans even left because they were disappointed in how our recent songs turned out. But of course, the true and loyal ones stayed.

Although I still enjoyed creating new albums (I don't ever want to quit my job), I was still excited for Lizzie to join us.

Being a single parent, I wasn't exactly able to give Lizzie the mother figure in her life. Mitch may have been a man, but he could've easily fit that spot based on how feminine he often acted. Luckily, Esther and Kirstin helped me with this situation.

•~•~•~•

I gently tucked the young girl into her bed as she got herself comfortable in the little bed.

I kissed her forehead and took out her book of fairy tales to read her a bedtime story. Flipping to 'The Little Mermaid', I opened my mouth to begin reading it when I saw that my daughter's smile had turned upside down.

"What's the matter, princess?" I asked softly and tucked her long hair behind her ear.

"We talked about our families today at school," she began. Oh my god, please don't ask who your mother is.

"Do I have a mommy?" Damn it.

I sighed sadly and set down the book on her bedside table. "Not exactly," I started to explain. "You actually have...a second daddy and um...he's actually not with us." It took a lot just to not cry in front of Elizabeth.

"Where is he then?" Her adorable face was filled with curiosity. She'll eventually have to know the truth, but she wouldn't understand any of it at this age.

"He's...in a special place. He's watching us and he loves you very much." I couldn't help but smile when Lizzie did.

Mitch may not be here with us physically, but I still have a place in my heart just for him and only him. No one can ever replace that beautiful man whom I wish I could call my husband.

A/N: If you see this, congrats on finishing the fanfic, haha. This is the first fanfiction that I published on this website! Also, I'm totally open for honest criticism, so feel free to leave me suggestions and/or advice. Thanks!