Author's Notes/Disclaimer: When I got wind of a potential "The Apprentice" musical, I simply could NOT let that go un-parodied. So, clearly, not even the idea is mine. I really wish it was, but no. Donald Trump doesn't belong to me, and neither do the "contestants" really. The music is shamelessly stolen from the FABULOUS John Kander and Fred Ebb, from the musical "Chicago." I barely changed the lyrics, so I guess you could say they are totally responsible for this happening. Whether that be a good thing, or bad, I'm not exactly sure.

For my purposes, I'm not naming the characters. And, the only gender specifications I've made so far are on Contestant Number 1. If you insist on names.. you get to pick them yourself. Maybe I'm just lazy. In fact, I'm sure that's what it is.

Please enjoy, and as always, I love reviews.... And I'm REALLY hoping that this formats correctly.

Without furthor ado, I give you Trumpsical/Trumped: The Musical. Whichever you prefer.

All That Hair

Announcer: Welcome. Regular primetime viewers, you are about to see a story of greed, corruption, exploitation, treachery, and Really Bad Hair - all things we hold near and dear to our "reality show" addicted hearts. Thank you.

Contestant Number 1 (Female): Come on Trump,
Why don't we make some cash?
And all that hair

I'm gonna fight my way
Do whatever it takes
And all that hair

Start the show I know all the rules
And the way to play
May the best woman win

I've got just what you want
They're shakin' in their boots
And all that hair

Slick your hair
And wear your business suit
And all that hair

I hear that evil witch
Is gonna help you out
And all that hair

Hold on, hon
I'm gonna win this game
I've almost lost my job
At the big legal firm
So that I could be here
'Cuz I love you so much
And all that -

Contestant 1 and Company: Hair

Company: Kaching!

Contestant Number 1: And all that hair!

Company: Bling-bling!
Millions!

Contestant Number 1: And all that hair

I've got just what you want
They're shakin' in their boots

All: And all that hair

(Contestant Number 2 & Contestant Number 3 enter)

Contestant Number 3: The Project Manager isn't around is he?

Contestant Number 1: No, their PM is not around

Find a task
We're breakin' all the rules

All: And all that hair!

Contestant Number 1: The boardroom
Is where I'll prove myself

All: And all that hair!

Contestant Number 1: Come on Trump,
This is the best show that
You could ever want to host
In the U.S.A.
You'll be the ratings king
How could they compete with
All that hair?

Company: Oh, you're gonna see these people lie and cheat

Contestant Number 1: And all that hair

Company: Oh, they're gonna back-stab 'til you stop 'em

Contestant Number 1: And all that hair!

Company: Show her where to sign the release
You know they're just a bunch of sleeze
If you knew
What you would do
For all that hair

Contestant Number 3: So that's it huh, Donald?

Trump: Yeah, I'm afraid so. You're fired. (Trump-style)

Contestant Number 3: Oh Donald...

Contestants: Oh Donald..

Trump: Yes?

Contestant Number 3: Nobody fires me.

(Stands Up)

Trump: Contestant Number 3...

Contestant Number 3: Oh don't Contestant Number 3 me!
This is only the beginning you son-of-a-bitch!

Company: Kaching!
Bling-bling!
Hair!

Contestant Number 3 (Muttering): I'll be back!

(Contestant Number 3 leaves, slamming the boardroom door)

Contestant Number 1: No, I haven't won
But oh, I'm not quite done
And all that hair!

Company: That hair!